Yes, I'm aware of the existence of 'he's just not that into you,' but I'd like it confirmed by the source.
October 25, 2009 10:35 PM Subscribe
How do you phrase "are you into me?" in a non-terrifying way?
posted by anonymous to human relations (22 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
I'm about to have a, give-or-take, fifth date in a few days. The guy and I have a lovely, cuddly, sweet time when we're together, and then I don't hear from him for a week. We met about a month ago. We've made out, but that's about it (at my insistence, I'm trying to take it slow with anyone, these days). We met on a dating site, so I'm sure we've both been seeing other people, but I'm kind of interested in seeing if maybe we can give it a shot, because he's lots of fun.
It's been very, very casual, which was somewhat my fault, because the first time we met up, I called him last minute to say I was around and we should get a drink, then when he called to set something up, I was busy for a week. Now he's been busy, I've been busy, I've been out of town, he's been sick - in short, I will have not seen him in over two weeks when we meet up.
So, ok. I've decided I would want to see if he's interested. If he says no, I will not be devastated (beyond the anticipated ego-blow), but:
1. (less crucial) is there even a point in doing this, or is the answer 'no' if I have to ask? (I say this is less crucial because I intend to bring it up either way, so I guess I'm just looking to see how much I should prepare myself for unpleasantness)
2. what is the least-scary-least-desperate way to ask, hey, so do you think we could try dating?
I also ask because I'd really like to be having sex right now, but I'm disinclined to do it outside of exclusive dating, for health and mental-health reasons.