Flowers for coworker's (and eventually more, I hope) birthday?
April 25, 2010 7:26 PM Subscribe
I've fallen hard for a coworker. Things seems to be moving in a positive direction and I feel like I'm reaching the point where I need to make my intentions more clear. It just so happens that her birthday is coming up. Would flowers be a bad idea?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (23 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
This question will probably sound absolutely precious, but I've been out in the wilderness for awhile as far as love and relationships are concerned, so I can't help but worry about screwing things up. For what it's worth, the coworker in question is available and (presumably) looking. Since we do work together, I've been taking a conservative approach up until now. However, she seems to have a fair number of platonic male friends, so I'm worried that, should I continue with the conservative approach, she'll get the mistaken impression I'm looking for a similarly platonic relationship. Right now, I feel like I've sent enough signals (and other people in the know have made enough suggestive comments) to where she must know something's up. I get the impression that she's interested - or not disinterested, at least (she's kind of hard to read, I'll admit) - and I currently have no reason to believe that things won't continue moving in a positive direction. Finally, I have already effectively asked her out and have received a positive response. However, it's for an invite-only group event at which there will be other people she knows in attendance (I received the formal invite and asked her if she'd like to go), so it's a bit more ambiguous than the standard date. Oh, and we're both in our 30s, if it helps.
Anyway, with the background out of the way...
It just so happens that her birthday falls in the interim. The date of her birthday isn't a secret, so she'll likely receive plenty of well wishes and the like from others in the office. Initially, I had planned on just giving a simple birthday card, but I got to thinking something more might be appropriate. Flowers seem like the safest bet - anything of greater value would surely be strange at this point - but I'm worried about coming off like I'm trying too hard. Note that, when I say "flowers", I mean something simple, like fresh cut tulips in a vase, smuggled in the evening before and left on her desk. No fancy arrangement or anything. I have reason to believe she might like tulips, and it's clearly a good flower for this time of year. Additionally, my thought is to remain anonymous about it all. That is, no note attached that says "From: so-and-so". That way, the gesture won't so obviously scream, "hey, look at this nice thing I did for you... DON'T YOU LIKE ME?!?!" That, and given her personality and sense of humor, I think she'd get a kick out of it. My suspicion is that she'll nonetheless figure me out fairly quickly, so I'm not too worried about the effort going to waste. And I'll admit to it if asked.
Good idea? Bad idea? Flowers good, anonymous flowers not so good? I know I'm probably overthinking a plate of beans here, but I feel like I'm at a critical juncture and I really don't want to mess things up.