Maybe I should ask Adina Howard?

April 17, 2010 9:10 PM

How does one define "freaky?"

Songs (thinking recently of Ludacris in "My Chick Bad,") movies, and comedians often make vague mentions of rare and amazing sex or sex partners ("My chick do stuff that yo' chick wish she could. ") with the implication that we know just what they mean. Everyone has their own predelictions, of course, and this question sounds unintentionally coy, but what specific acts or characteristics might they be referencing? (Honestly, I wonder if I'm missing out on novelties.)

posted by juniper to Society & Culture (16 answers total)

Since you didn't mention it: I Told You I Was Freaky.
posted by mondaygreens at 9:22 PM on April 17, 2010 [4 favorites]

Shhhhhhhhhhh.

{They (the writers) don't know either, but they won't you to think they do, so they write lines like they think you know. When ever some one else says something about it, just grin. Then they will be impressed by how cool you are, and hope they didn't give it away that they don't have a clue. Of course, I really do know what it is, but I can't say anything about it here, you know?}
posted by Some1 at 9:26 PM on April 17, 2010

"Freaky" = "outside your comfort zone".
posted by Billegible at 9:28 PM on April 17, 2010 [2 favorites]

If they don't tell you, you can imagine whatever is going to work. One man's freaky is another man's "Ho-hum, is Sunday night is strap-on night darling?"
posted by rodgerd at 9:33 PM on April 17, 2010

When you've experienced it, you'll know. And then, when you meet someone freakier... you'll really know.

Really.

That's how it works :)
posted by 2oh1 at 9:33 PM on April 17, 2010

It's like the monster in the closet in horror novels that you never see. By not outlining exactly what freaky is, it's left to your imagination which is probably better than just telling you. Here are some specifics from Li'l Wayne, Rick James, Funkadelic, Ghostface Killa, Infinite Mass & 50 Cent

But really it mostly means threesomes and anal.
posted by jessamyn at 9:34 PM on April 17, 2010 [8 favorites]

Response by poster: See, I'd feared it was just threesomes and anal, which at this point in history sounds as tame as "incense, wine and candles."
posted by juniper at 9:36 PM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Much like Ms. Howard, Shock G applied that descriptor to himself for public sexual acts in "The Humpty Dance:"

I'm a freak
I like the girls with the boom
I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom

So, y'know, there's another data point in your set: "performs sexual acts in the restroom at fast-food franchises."
posted by fairytale of los angeles at 9:46 PM on April 17, 2010 [1 favorite]

Here's what they're saying: "Think of that thing that you've always wanted to do sexually, but everyone you've asked to do it with you has turned you down. In face, maybe you've even been afraid to ask for it, because you thought your partner would get upset and break up with you. Got an idea? OK. That's the thing that my partner, who is awesome, did willingly and enthusiastically. And it was her/his idea."

Is this the place where I get to say "Metafilter: it mostly means threesomes and anal?"
posted by decathecting at 9:54 PM on April 17, 2010 [6 favorites]

I think the people suggesting that the term is relative and movable are partly correct. But I don't think it's really as relative as they've implied. I almost always hear "freaky" applied to women, and not men. And it's almost always applied by heterosexual, sexually normative people to people only slightly less sexually normative.

What it appears to mean, to me, is that the freaky person in question is enthusiastic about sexual acts at the edge of a typical male, heterosexual college student's fantasies. Jessamyn is closest with "mostly...threesomes and anal." But, furthermore, it almost certainly doesn't mean MMF threesomes, but only MFF and maybe MFM. If a frat brother wants to do it, but assumes his sorority-sister girlfriend doesn't, then it's probably "freaky".

Swingers, BDSM particpants, furries, soilers, piss lovers, object fetishists, and other sexually deviant folks aren't called "freaky". We* get called far more derogative terms by squares, and rarely apply "freaky" to one another.

Frankly, most people I hear using the term "freaky" are labeling a woman as enthusiastically seeking a variety of sexual sensations. And it's not uniformly, or even usually, positive. It's more a backhanded way of saying "this woman does things that women aren't supposed to like."

Basically, women who like sex get called "slutty". Women who like to be lightly spanked while having sex get called "freaky".

* Guess.
posted by Netzapper at 10:49 PM on April 17, 2010 [9 favorites]

Some1 is right. The point of this word is to leave it open to you to imagine sex that's really hot/wild/freaky. And yes, I just used the word I'm defining in the definition -- that's how vague it is. All the more specific answers here only go to show that you can make it mean whatever you want (and that Metafilter's power to overanalyze is boundless).
posted by Jaltcoh at 11:26 PM on April 17, 2010

Billegible is correct, but I would modify it to "A freaky person is someone who entices you into sex outside your comfort zone that you decide you actually enjoyed (at least that once)." If you decide it wasn't that great or that it is way outside your comfort zone, so you say no, the person is "a freak" instead, which is pejorative. We are, of course, talking about consensual sex here; there are other, more appropriate and more pejorative terms for other situations.

Interestingly, you can call yourself a freak without stigma. Perhaps this is the flipside of the truism that you cannot call yourself a "gentleman" without it being a threat (i.e. "If I wasn't a gentleman, I'd..."). "He's a freak" is dismissive. "I'm a freak" may be bragging (or, more likely, fishing.)

I have heard the term mostly used by men, straight and gay, but also by women. I have heard it used in a range of subcultures, but I expect there are regional variations. It's not like Miss Manners laid down the rules on this.
posted by GenjiandProust at 4:54 AM on April 18, 2010

...with the implication that we know just what they mean

You're reading this part wrong, IMO. The implication is blinding clear that freaky means "not only down with pretty much anything but LOVES being down with pretty much anything." It isn't a woman who dispenses sex grudgingly, but one who loves sex and loves the wilder aspects of it.

It's not about specific acts, but an attitude towards sex. If you're thinking specific acts, you're not freaky enough for her.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 7:01 AM on April 18, 2010

I think there are at least two things going on here--one is the monster-in-the-closet deal, that a freak is someone that's kinkier than you are, and the other is the sexist, heteronormative, Madonna/whore thing that Netzapper refers to.
posted by box at 7:28 AM on April 18, 2010

I thought it just meant sexually aggressive and/or sexually adventurous.
posted by Kirk Grim at 9:16 AM on April 18, 2010

Maybe Wanda Sykes can help clarify the term for you. Relevant part starts about halfway through.
posted by granted at 2:50 PM on April 18, 2010