August 28, 2012 9:41 PM Subscribe
Is woman's value really only physical?
posted by thelastgirl to Society & Culture (60 answers total) 46 users marked this as a favorite
Let me preface my extended explanation by saying that I am going to go out on a limb, and speak uncensored because I am literally inviting you all to change my mind about this. I know it's going to come off as super shallow so please before answering know that this is only one aspect to my personality but it is weighing heavily on me this 35th yer of my life and I need some perspective.
I am not beautiful, I have been told I am attractive but I have never been the kind of woman someone would run up to in the street, or ask out spontaneously. I am also very direct, and don't always act in accordance with stereotypical female traits. I am not delicate, my voice is husky etc....I also weigh about 160 lbs am 5'7. Not fat, but not fit, if you know what I mean.
I feel and have always felt like a second class citizen because of the way I look. I don't feel like I am attractive in any way. I know it's supposed to come from within, and believe me I know I have many beautiful attributes. I just feel like the world for women is about the physical, and no matter what we do it all comes down to that in the end. The fact that I rarely turn a head, and that I have never been pursued really bothers me to the point where I am secretly considering plastic surgery. I can't stand feeling this way and need some perspective. Why do men seem to treasure and prize women who are beautiful who have shitty personalities. I work with a woman who is the biggest asshole I have EVER met yet that seems meaningless to men. She attracts plenty of douchebags, don't get me wrong, but she also attracts good men who can't seem to see past the physical.
I will go out in the world by myself and have doors slammed in my face, get bumped into, feel invisible.... I have had friends boyfriends act disgusted when I have mentioned my sex life (or shown disgust to the girlfriends) and I frequently socialize with men that act like talking to me is an obstacle to getting to one of the five beautiful women in the vicinity. I literally have to charm the shit out of them to keep them in the conversation (even though I often could give a shit and am only looking to cure boredom in talking to someone). Does anyone relate with this?
Tell me what the world is really like? Is it just my insane brain that sees it this way or is that how it is? I am really curious about some perspective from some lesbians that might be reading this and how they perceive the importance of beauty.