[creepy filter] Is it normal to become this distracted from seeing an attractive person in public?
March 22, 2010 4:33 PM Subscribe
OK, I'm pretty sure this issue is creepy, so, brace yourself.
The gist of the issue is that I'll be in public, at the store, the park, whatever, and I'll see someone who I find is very attractive ("wow, I can't believe how hot she is."). But, instead of simply letting that nice moment pass and continuing on my way as normal, I remain distracted, not really able to focus on what it is I was doing or was going to do, for a very long while, up to an hour or more.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (94 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
The way this distraction evinces itself is the following:
"I feel like I need to do something about it" is how I've described it.. not merely in some sexual sense, but
1. in a "I need to get her attention somehow" kind of way. That feeling is strong enough that I've actually walked up to the person and told her, for example, that I like her outfit. And a lot of times, that'll make me feel better, and I carry on.
The other feeling I get is that
2. "I need to get a picture of her". Since this has happened a lot, I now carry a little P&S camera with me wherever I go, mostly for this purpose. So if it's feasible, I'll spend some time trying to get a candid picture of her.
2a. Related to the last item is that I'm a boob guy, so these women almost always have some sort of boobage showing, which is a big (ha) part of what I try to capture in the pic. Regular frontal shot usually doesn't cut it, so just imagine how I'm looking for the perfect opportunity to snap a shot...
Side note: I kind of think that the picture is a compromise for making some connection with the person.. like if I can't make a connection, then at least I can get my jollies from a pic of her.
If I can't do either thing (say something or get pic), then that's where the "long-term distraction" kicks in, the feelings of "I really should've done something". I've told my friends that it's basically an inconvenience to see a hottie. I joke about how "my trip to the store was ruined cuz I saw this hottie right when I got there", but it's kind of true.. like I really feel like I need to do something, and I just ruminate about it.
So, what do I do about this? Basic self-control? Counseling? An adjustment of attitude? A change in the way I look at or think about things? I really am open to all suggestions, including therapy if that's what I need.
Do other people do this?
Some thoughts about why I have this issue:
- I think the fact that I might be able to do something is what really propels me to want to do something. Like if I saw the person on a motorcycle or something, riding past me very quickly, I think I would feel less inclined to want to do something. But depending on how good of a look I got, maybe not. Not sure.
- Maybe I've got a strong voyeuristic tendency that comes out when the situation is compelling
- I just want attention
- I want attention from a hottie because not only would it be awesome but it would boost my self-esteem
- regular porn is just so unrealistic
- regret from not taking action in the past is now motivating me to do something
Any and all help, criticism, etc. would be greatly appreciated. Any questions, please ask! Thank you in advance.