What do I need and want from a relationship?
January 23, 2010 1:06 PM Subscribe
Looking for tips on to figure out what one needs in a relationship.
posted by anonymous to human relations (9 answers total) 26 users marked this as a favorite
I am an older male, married. I've always considered myself low maintenance in relationships and pretty self sufficient in them.
However my wife has been ill lately (past two years), forcing us to focus more on her as opposed to myself. Over time, that has left me feeling neglected. But when I ask myself the question of "What do I want from my SO in a relationship" most of my answers are of the vague sort, i.e. wanting to be loved, with an occasional blow job thrown in. I would like to develop a way to quantify and explain what I need, but at the moment lack the skillset to do so. To be clear: When I ask myself what I want in a relationship, I'm literally drawn up short and speechless, to the extent that not only do I not know the answer, I don't even know how to figure out the answer and never quite realized that I didn't know the answer.
Yes, therapy is an answer, but that'll take a few weeks to get rolling. What I'd like some help with now is figuring out what questions I should be asking myself. You know how there's various personality tests to see what type of person you are? Are there any similar tests, online or book form, that help you determine what you need in a relationship? I don't expect the quiz or book to be the definitive answer, I'm just looking for a basic starting point, a basic primer, a compass to help guide me in a general way.