Art project, of a sort
December 19, 2009 3:55 PM   Subscribe

Please help me think of words with which to complete this sentence: "This coupon entitles the bearer to: ________________________.

I'm making a coupon book for my (new, long distance, we're both 42, have known each other since sixth grade, midwestern small-town neighbors, reconnected on FB in August, have seen each other three times since then, and are both feeling it) "boyfriend." He's a jiu-jitsu instructor and lives in the south. I live in Northern California in the best city in the world. We've been physically intimate. He's very funny and people love him. Says it like it is.

So, that's my audience. What do you think he would like? So far I've come up with one coupon that he can give me when he doesn't want to hear me make fun of the shit beer he drinks (that one's tough). Another one for a foot massage (he's into feet). Another for me to make him dinner (he recently asked if I would make him chicken noodle soup if he was sick. I said I would. I think I passed.)

Please help me think of other good, non-boring ideas!

(Oh, and I'm using some cool old-timey alphabet rubber stamps to make the cover, and an old typewriter to make each of the coupons.)
posted by hapax_legomenon to Media & Arts (9 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Always popular on Metafilter: Steak and a Blowjob
posted by MsMolly at 4:10 PM on December 19, 2009


Best answer: Standard stuff is backrub, blowjob, beer. Let's try to expand on this.

- getting out of the chilly bed when neither of you want to when there is something you need/want [in my case this would be "get up and make coffee"
- hair wash [this is just a nice excuse for a shower, but having someone else really wash your hair is something I've always liked]
- designated driving [if there's something you need to drive to and one of you will need to not drink to drive home]
- topless Skyping
- $FOOD_ITEM via overnight mail
- B&B weekend at some intermediate point to where the two of you live

Basically you want to look at things that for the two of you are like "guh, neither of us really want to do this" and have your coupon be a "hey I'll do it, you just hang out!" get out of jail free card. Or a situation where there's something that he LOVES and you only sort of like it and the coupon basically end-runs the "well I don't really want to but..." discussion. Or a situation where there's some sort of trouble and a coupon really is a get out of jail-ish free card, but my guess is it's too early in the relationship for much of that. Yahoo Answers has a few lists if you need help jogging your memory.
posted by jessamyn at 4:12 PM on December 19, 2009 [3 favorites]


Breakfast in bed
Cheerful accompaniment to the crap movie of his choice
A picnic
A picnic with a six pack of that same shit beer
Phone sex (should never be boring)
Ice cream cones a designated ice cream parlour in his town or yours
posted by DarlingBri at 4:14 PM on December 19, 2009


"A blow on the head".

(For a martial artist and a Python fan, it seems right.)
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 4:19 PM on December 19, 2009


Topless skyping is a great idea - nothing exacerbates the pains of a long distance relationship quite like sexual frustration.
posted by ripley_ at 4:34 PM on December 19, 2009


sex over the phone
posted by porn in the woods at 4:56 PM on December 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


B&B weekend at some intermediate point to where the two of you live
I think you should try for the exact geographical middle, if at all possible.
posted by plinth at 5:06 PM on December 19, 2009


One "you're right" end of argument.*



* not redeemable for cash
posted by e.e. coli at 7:28 PM on December 19, 2009


"The last word."
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 9:46 PM on December 19, 2009 [1 favorite]


« Older Patent Application Squatting   |   Downward Dog is not for me... Newer »
This thread is closed to new comments.