I've accidentally been leading a friend on.
December 5, 2009 1:59 AM Subscribe
Help me clean up a complicated friend-triangle before it becomes a messy love-triangle.
posted by brenton to society & culture (13 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
Ok, context: three classmates (John, Jane and Jannet) at my grad school and I have become very close this semester. The four of us hang out almost every day.
The problem is that Jannet thinks that she and I have a thing going. I guess you could say I have been leading her on... but it's more complicated than that.
I actually like Jane a lot, but Jane likes John (who likes her, but may not be entirely serious about it). So the result is that Jane, who doesn't want to lead me on, has sort of been avoiding me and being close to John when the four of us hang out, which leaves Jannet and I together all the time. Like whenever we sit down, John is on the end next to Jane, then Jannet, then I. It's just the social dynamic of the group leaves Jannet and I paired. Since the four of us spend hours together every day, it has been looking like Jannet and I are "an item" and I was oblivious to it until recently. It seems I am always the last one to know about these sort of things.
I dearly love all three of these people in the most platonic sense, crushes aside. I don't want things to become weird, but I don't want Jannet to be hurt either. I feel that she deserves more than the cold shoulder.
What should I do? I'm not going to act on my feelings for Jane at any foreseeable point in the future. I love Jannet dearly, but not in a romantic way. How do I gently make it clear to her that there is nothing happening between us? Or should I do something else entirely?