Who are you this time?
October 6, 2009 12:18 PM Subscribe
I am interested in people's experiences in using their real names online.
For those of you who operate under your real first and last names online:
Why did you make that decision?
Are you a forward-facing person at a company, site moderator, etc., where your professional capacity influences what you post?
Have there been any repercussions or regrets? Positive things?
I'm at a crossroads with this because of some professional reasons that have come up, and am questioning if I should reevaluate how I handle this.
For those of you who operate under your real first and last names online:
Why did you make that decision?
Are you a forward-facing person at a company, site moderator, etc., where your professional capacity influences what you post?
Have there been any repercussions or regrets? Positive things?
I'm at a crossroads with this because of some professional reasons that have come up, and am questioning if I should reevaluate how I handle this.
Best answer: I post under my full real name (Tony Dismukes) everywhere except on Metafilter and I'd change my handle here if I could.
I prefer it that way because it makes me stay accountable and motivates me to think before I post. Also, I like to have a single public identity rather than having separate online and real-world personas.
I've never had any negative repercussions, but then I try not to post anything on-line that I'd be embarrassed to justify to my family, friends, or employer.
posted by tdismukes at 12:35 PM on October 6, 2009 [5 favorites]
I prefer it that way because it makes me stay accountable and motivates me to think before I post. Also, I like to have a single public identity rather than having separate online and real-world personas.
I've never had any negative repercussions, but then I try not to post anything on-line that I'd be embarrassed to justify to my family, friends, or employer.
posted by tdismukes at 12:35 PM on October 6, 2009 [5 favorites]
Yeah . . . I've been using my real name online in a lot of different places for quite some time, mostly because it reminds me that there's virtually no such thing as "anonymous" on the internet, and anything you write can and up getting attached to your name, so you might as well operate like it is going to . . . and actually being the one to do the associating makes it a little more clear.
posted by toomuchpete at 12:36 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by toomuchpete at 12:36 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Trying to keep track of aliases just become too much work for me. Also, I don't really have much faith in web anonymity, so in a way not counting it is safer. Thirdly, sharing a name with a relatively popular actor, I'm counting on his web fame to bury anything really stupid that I may post :)
posted by COD at 12:39 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by COD at 12:39 PM on October 6, 2009
What Tony said.
I was going to post a big long response, but he said it succinctly and perfectly, and mirrors my own thoughts and reasons exactly.
+1 to his answer. Well played.
posted by willmize at 12:41 PM on October 6, 2009
I was going to post a big long response, but he said it succinctly and perfectly, and mirrors my own thoughts and reasons exactly.
+1 to his answer. Well played.
posted by willmize at 12:41 PM on October 6, 2009
I have been 90% myself in my online interactions and pretty active in various forums since 1997. For the most part, it keeps me on the level and I only had one time where I was regretting my openness which involved some CRAZY ladies. I'm more circumspect about my email address but not my name. Luckily, there is a very talented track & field runner with my name who gets all the good Google hits. :) Plus, my old online diaries seem to have dropped off the radar as well.
posted by amanda at 12:41 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by amanda at 12:41 PM on October 6, 2009
I use a truncation of my first and last name, so I'm not sure if I totally fit your description, but my real name is easily found online if need be. I also only use one "handle" on every site I frequent - I'm pdb here, I'm pdb everywhere.
1. Because in my opinion online nicknames are stupid (I'm 40 so maybe when you're in high school/college they're fine but for me...not so much), and because a serious opinion coming from marinersfan1546 or bigdog97 or the like would seem to carry less weight than an opinion coming from somebody who is willing to attach their real name to it. But that's just me, YMMV.
2. No, I am not, but I am definitely a lot more protective of my reputation than most so I usually am as cognizant of what I post as anybody in a professional capacity would need to be.
3. No regrets at all, and like jquinby I definitely tend to think things through more carefully when I post things online.
posted by pdb at 12:43 PM on October 6, 2009
1. Because in my opinion online nicknames are stupid (I'm 40 so maybe when you're in high school/college they're fine but for me...not so much), and because a serious opinion coming from marinersfan1546 or bigdog97 or the like would seem to carry less weight than an opinion coming from somebody who is willing to attach their real name to it. But that's just me, YMMV.
2. No, I am not, but I am definitely a lot more protective of my reputation than most so I usually am as cognizant of what I post as anybody in a professional capacity would need to be.
3. No regrets at all, and like jquinby I definitely tend to think things through more carefully when I post things online.
posted by pdb at 12:43 PM on October 6, 2009
Why did you make that decision?
Spent years on USENET and the attributed a lot of the ugliness there to people being anonymous. Plus it was plain to see where the world was heading in terms of people's actual identities being availble online, so I figured if anyone was going to shape my name and identity, it should be me.
Are you a forward-facing person at a company, site moderator, etc., where your professional capacity influences what you post?
To some extent. I'm more restrained on Facebook, where a lot of local people and businesses know me, my wife and the company I work for, but that just strikes me as common sense to tone things down a bit there as opposed to Metafilter, which seems to run on snark and humor.
Have there been any repercussions or regrets? Positive things?
Negative, no. Positive wise, tons of people from my past have been able to find me and being known by real name on Metafilter helped a lot with a Facebook problem.
I'm at a crossroads with this because of some professional reasons that have come up, and am questioning if I should reevaluate how I handle this.
Your name is your brand, so put your brand on it.
On preview: What Tony said about having a single online indentity too.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2009
Spent years on USENET and the attributed a lot of the ugliness there to people being anonymous. Plus it was plain to see where the world was heading in terms of people's actual identities being availble online, so I figured if anyone was going to shape my name and identity, it should be me.
Are you a forward-facing person at a company, site moderator, etc., where your professional capacity influences what you post?
To some extent. I'm more restrained on Facebook, where a lot of local people and businesses know me, my wife and the company I work for, but that just strikes me as common sense to tone things down a bit there as opposed to Metafilter, which seems to run on snark and humor.
Have there been any repercussions or regrets? Positive things?
Negative, no. Positive wise, tons of people from my past have been able to find me and being known by real name on Metafilter helped a lot with a Facebook problem.
I'm at a crossroads with this because of some professional reasons that have come up, and am questioning if I should reevaluate how I handle this.
Your name is your brand, so put your brand on it.
On preview: What Tony said about having a single online indentity too.
posted by Brandon Blatcher at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2009
Best answer: I use my full name on my blog, blog comments, Facebook, LinkedIn, etc. I'm all over the web, and I'm fine with that. I see it as purely positive.
I like having a web presence. I like being able to talk about things I feel passionately about and get credit for it. Some people would say: "Oh, but pseudonymous usernames are respected on the web and take on a life of their own." Well, yes and no. It's certainly common to be anonymous on the web, but I don't buy that it's equally respected. A huge mass of anonymous contributors to Wikipedia might earn credibility through the site's extraordinary overarching structure and editorial process (though many people don't even respect that), but a lone comment signed with a name that's obviously made up? At a gut level, that simply doesn't command the respect you get by telling people "I'm this specific real person with this name and face."
You might need to watch what you say a bit more, but this is a useful discipline. It means I shouldn't say things I don't really believe in. Or, if I'm not sure if I believe in them, then I should take a little extra time to qualify my statements as needed. This is a good way to be intellectually honest anyway, even if you were just writing in a diary that no one else would see.
This blog post by Penelope Trunk gives some more reasons to use your real name online.
posted by Jaltcoh at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2009 [4 favorites]
I like having a web presence. I like being able to talk about things I feel passionately about and get credit for it. Some people would say: "Oh, but pseudonymous usernames are respected on the web and take on a life of their own." Well, yes and no. It's certainly common to be anonymous on the web, but I don't buy that it's equally respected. A huge mass of anonymous contributors to Wikipedia might earn credibility through the site's extraordinary overarching structure and editorial process (though many people don't even respect that), but a lone comment signed with a name that's obviously made up? At a gut level, that simply doesn't command the respect you get by telling people "I'm this specific real person with this name and face."
You might need to watch what you say a bit more, but this is a useful discipline. It means I shouldn't say things I don't really believe in. Or, if I'm not sure if I believe in them, then I should take a little extra time to qualify my statements as needed. This is a good way to be intellectually honest anyway, even if you were just writing in a diary that no one else would see.
This blog post by Penelope Trunk gives some more reasons to use your real name online.
posted by Jaltcoh at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2009 [4 favorites]
Say hello to my last name.
Much the same as most of the above; I like using my real name as it raises the stakes somewhat in terms of writing carefully and expressing my thoughts in ways I won't be embarrassed by later. Which is not to say I never do -- there are huge swaths of my Internet history I wish I could erase -- but it definitely keeps more more careful and honest.
posted by Shepherd at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2009
Much the same as most of the above; I like using my real name as it raises the stakes somewhat in terms of writing carefully and expressing my thoughts in ways I won't be embarrassed by later. Which is not to say I never do -- there are huge swaths of my Internet history I wish I could erase -- but it definitely keeps more more careful and honest.
posted by Shepherd at 12:47 PM on October 6, 2009
I don't use my real name on the web most of the time.
But I have a few handles that stay the same between various sites. That said, I'm very much in COD's position in that I share a first and last name with a not-as-but-relatively-well-known actress that if I were ever to use my real name, it'd still be something like a thousand google pages before anything related to me popped up.
My friends who are not in my position or who have more unusual names tend to refrain from using their full names on websites for various reasons ranging from the personal to job seeking to other things I can't think of right now.
posted by zizzle at 12:52 PM on October 6, 2009
But I have a few handles that stay the same between various sites. That said, I'm very much in COD's position in that I share a first and last name with a not-as-but-relatively-well-known actress that if I were ever to use my real name, it'd still be something like a thousand google pages before anything related to me popped up.
My friends who are not in my position or who have more unusual names tend to refrain from using their full names on websites for various reasons ranging from the personal to job seeking to other things I can't think of right now.
posted by zizzle at 12:52 PM on October 6, 2009
Response by poster: Thanks everyone for responding so far. I don't want to derail but I'm noticing something about the responses and just wanted to put this out there -- can't help but notice that most of you putting your names out there are male.
I was wondering whether anyone - male or female - wanted to comment about whether there's any consideration of gender in their decision. (I guess that one's mostly for women -- I imagine for men the answer is No. ) In other words, is there a fear-of-creepy-stalker-factor.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 12:53 PM on October 6, 2009
I was wondering whether anyone - male or female - wanted to comment about whether there's any consideration of gender in their decision. (I guess that one's mostly for women -- I imagine for men the answer is No. ) In other words, is there a fear-of-creepy-stalker-factor.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 12:53 PM on October 6, 2009
In other words, is there a fear-of-creepy-stalker-factor.
There is for me, which is why I don't use my name on here. I am less angsty about it than I was a few years ago, but I have gotten a lot of very specific threats of assault, including sexual assault, from Usenet and other online places.
On the other hand, my legal name is out there on a lot of my journalism, both print-put-on-Web and Web-original, and I have certainly gotten no more, or no more serious, threats from those than I have from my pseudonymous stuff. But I would be hard-pressed to want to use my legal name for recreational Internetting.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:57 PM on October 6, 2009
There is for me, which is why I don't use my name on here. I am less angsty about it than I was a few years ago, but I have gotten a lot of very specific threats of assault, including sexual assault, from Usenet and other online places.
On the other hand, my legal name is out there on a lot of my journalism, both print-put-on-Web and Web-original, and I have certainly gotten no more, or no more serious, threats from those than I have from my pseudonymous stuff. But I would be hard-pressed to want to use my legal name for recreational Internetting.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:57 PM on October 6, 2009
I use my first initial and last name pretty often. It's a rare enough last name that if you Googled it, you'd only find members of my immediate family, and if you added my first initial, just me. I'm not especially careful to cover up my identity, but for me, at least, the creepy stalker factor is exactly what keeps me from using my real name more overtly. Although, I guess, if someone really wanted to stalk me, there's enough information out there. But they gotta do some work; no half-assed stalkers for me.
Bonus, when you Google my name, you only get results pertinent to my career (except for one random and mildly embarrassing Livejournal entry written by someone I don't even remember, circa 2003. That's apparently never going away).
posted by oinopaponton at 1:00 PM on October 6, 2009
Bonus, when you Google my name, you only get results pertinent to my career (except for one random and mildly embarrassing Livejournal entry written by someone I don't even remember, circa 2003. That's apparently never going away).
posted by oinopaponton at 1:00 PM on October 6, 2009
I'm female. My 'username' most everywhere is clearly not my name, but I don't hesitate to put my real name out there online, and in fact should you google this username, you would easily find my real name. Or just look at my MeFi page.
I've been using the internet since age 10; I have been using my real name on the internet since around age 14. I don't even think about it, to be honest. There hasn't been a point that I've tried to conceal who I am online, except when I was very young -- and that was more a function of the areas I was using the internet, i.e. IRC were I was encouraged to "make up a unique nick" and a MUD via AOL World Games again where I was playing a character that wasn't me. AOL was obviously not in my name, and I played under the "main account", which was a username my father had chosen.
So, in other words, my choice was less of a conscious "I am going to reveal my identity now after having carefully considered it." It was more, this is my name, so why wouldn't I be using it?
I have been in various minor capacities a 'forward-facing' person for organizations, and I think in those situations I make clear whether I'm "speaking for the organization" rather than speaking personally.
To my knowledge I have not had any consequences that related to my name being associated with something I've posted/had online. If I don't want something to be public, I don't put it out there.
posted by asciident at 1:04 PM on October 6, 2009
I've been using the internet since age 10; I have been using my real name on the internet since around age 14. I don't even think about it, to be honest. There hasn't been a point that I've tried to conceal who I am online, except when I was very young -- and that was more a function of the areas I was using the internet, i.e. IRC were I was encouraged to "make up a unique nick" and a MUD via AOL World Games again where I was playing a character that wasn't me. AOL was obviously not in my name, and I played under the "main account", which was a username my father had chosen.
So, in other words, my choice was less of a conscious "I am going to reveal my identity now after having carefully considered it." It was more, this is my name, so why wouldn't I be using it?
I have been in various minor capacities a 'forward-facing' person for organizations, and I think in those situations I make clear whether I'm "speaking for the organization" rather than speaking personally.
To my knowledge I have not had any consequences that related to my name being associated with something I've posted/had online. If I don't want something to be public, I don't put it out there.
posted by asciident at 1:04 PM on October 6, 2009
Female here. I find putting it out there to some extent decreases the creepy stalker factor. There is no particular thrill for anybody to find out that Kia Mennie this that and the other thing, no "now I'm special because I know" incentive for obsessives, because everybody knows this that and the other thing about me. It also dilutes the information that is out there whether you like it or not via your eighth grade letter to the editor on Google News Archive and so on.
posted by kmennie at 1:05 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by kmennie at 1:05 PM on October 6, 2009
I was wondering whether anyone - male or female - wanted to comment about whether there's any consideration of gender in their decision. (I guess that one's mostly for women -- I imagine for men the answer is No. ) In other words, is there a fear-of-creepy-stalker-factor.
Maybe I should be concerned about this, but no.
In blogging anonymously on services like livejournal, I found that I was much more prone to writing negative, snitty things about others. It honestly felt unproductive and icky. I also had a few people find me out. Not worth it (though I do still very very rarely update a friends-only livejournal with rants just itching to get out, as well as poetry stuff that I might publish later).
My current blog is very googleable and linked to my real, full name. I feel much more comfortable maintaining general transparency. I did have my boss at my current job mention my website before I was hired, just to make sure that I wouldn't talk about work in it, Dooce-style. Then she proceeded to talk gab to me about how she, too, loves Star Trek. I honestly think this is great. At previous jobs, I went out of my way to hide things like the fact that I had tattoos and was a huge geeky sci-fi nerd. This way, I feel like I can be more myself, though of course, there is some, perhaps necessary and smart, self-editing that has to go on. As Brandon Blatcher says, I'm less toned-down here than elsewhere thanks to the nature of the community, and I also removed my full name from my profile, though my website's still there--this way, any mefite can easily find my full name, even if google can't.
I think it's unfortunate that I share a name with a character from a Steve Martin movie. I liked it better when I was the only google result for me.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:11 PM on October 6, 2009
Maybe I should be concerned about this, but no.
In blogging anonymously on services like livejournal, I found that I was much more prone to writing negative, snitty things about others. It honestly felt unproductive and icky. I also had a few people find me out. Not worth it (though I do still very very rarely update a friends-only livejournal with rants just itching to get out, as well as poetry stuff that I might publish later).
My current blog is very googleable and linked to my real, full name. I feel much more comfortable maintaining general transparency. I did have my boss at my current job mention my website before I was hired, just to make sure that I wouldn't talk about work in it, Dooce-style. Then she proceeded to talk gab to me about how she, too, loves Star Trek. I honestly think this is great. At previous jobs, I went out of my way to hide things like the fact that I had tattoos and was a huge geeky sci-fi nerd. This way, I feel like I can be more myself, though of course, there is some, perhaps necessary and smart, self-editing that has to go on. As Brandon Blatcher says, I'm less toned-down here than elsewhere thanks to the nature of the community, and I also removed my full name from my profile, though my website's still there--this way, any mefite can easily find my full name, even if google can't.
I think it's unfortunate that I share a name with a character from a Steve Martin movie. I liked it better when I was the only google result for me.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:11 PM on October 6, 2009
My wife is currently putting a lot of effort into changing over to using her real name online. She's been an amateur writer for some time, writing under a handful of cute aliases, but she's actually starting to do some actual paying writing gigs. She's finding it's hard for her to feel credible saying, "under the pseudonym D Pop Tart" or "under the pseudonym Glamkitty" on her portfolio of work. I, however, have been Azrael Brown for almost a decade online, just for the fun of it, but I don't have a lot of professional weight on my online identity, so it doesn't matter too much - and it sounds namey enough. I'd say, if you want to retain any professional benefit of being online, make sure you do it as your real name, because trying to lay claim to something said or done by QteePie834 isn't going to work well.
posted by AzraelBrown at 1:12 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by AzraelBrown at 1:12 PM on October 6, 2009
Obviously Methylviolet isn't my name, but I can speak to your last question. When first I began participating in internet forums (92-93) I used my name, and got absolutely slammed with messages from men expressing sexual interest. All this from just the feminine name -- no pictures, and I was not on a dating site. I have never understood what that was about -- Anyone? -- but it taught me to use a not overtly feminine user-name.
Now that people are about as well-behaved online as they are in person, it's just habit. I imagine most women online in those days had similar experiences, and would be more likely now to prefer to be anonymous than younger women.
posted by Methylviolet at 1:19 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Now that people are about as well-behaved online as they are in person, it's just habit. I imagine most women online in those days had similar experiences, and would be more likely now to prefer to be anonymous than younger women.
posted by Methylviolet at 1:19 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
can't help but notice that most of you putting your names out there are male.
I was wondering whether anyone - male or female - wanted to comment about whether there's any consideration of gender in their decision.
Penelope Trunk's blog post (linked in my previous comment) directly addresses the gender angle.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:20 PM on October 6, 2009
I was wondering whether anyone - male or female - wanted to comment about whether there's any consideration of gender in their decision.
Penelope Trunk's blog post (linked in my previous comment) directly addresses the gender angle.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:20 PM on October 6, 2009
I almost always use my real name online. I find that it adds a little weight to what I say. People don't dismiss your views right away if they see you are a real person, and not randomguy2847. A few times I have had conversations with people about music and recording, and later they told me that they had found some of my posts online from many years ago when doing more research. Once they see my posts, and that people have responded positively to those posts, they are more inclined to really pay attention to what I have to say, since some of those posts are around 10 years old, and they show that I have been active in music and recording for that long.
I have always felt that if you weren't willing to put your name behind a statement, you probably shouldn't make that statement. Most of the nastyness that you find on the internet is because people can say whatever they want with no consequence. If you put your real name out there, and your profession has anything to do with the internet whatsoever, you will be a bit more cautious in your words, and are much less likely to say something you later regret.
posted by markblasco at 1:20 PM on October 6, 2009
I have always felt that if you weren't willing to put your name behind a statement, you probably shouldn't make that statement. Most of the nastyness that you find on the internet is because people can say whatever they want with no consequence. If you put your real name out there, and your profession has anything to do with the internet whatsoever, you will be a bit more cautious in your words, and are much less likely to say something you later regret.
posted by markblasco at 1:20 PM on October 6, 2009
I use my real name online and pretty much always have. As Tony said I like having one identity online and not having to keep track of a bunch of aliases. I'm a visual artist and having my online presence and real world existence link has only been an advantage in terms of pointing people to my work. Yes it keeps me from posting random anonymous snark - I have to own it if I'm going to be rude but I don't have a problem with that. Being female hasn't had an impact in terms of being hassled but that may be as much a product of where I hang out online.
posted by leslies at 1:22 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by leslies at 1:22 PM on October 6, 2009
Well, I'll just quote it here:
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:22 PM on October 6, 2009
A pseudonym will not protect you from sexual harassment. ...(see the blog post itself for lots of supporting links)
Online men pick on women because they are women. For example, Mike Arrington, a highly influential technology journalist, inexplicably insulted the topic (knitting) of a very successful web site aimed at women. And each week I receive many comments on Yahoo Finance rife with misogynist accusations about sex and intelligence that the male columnists at Yahoo Fiance do not endure nearly as often.
But is this a reason to hide? ... Women are more likely to be harassed in their office than online. Does it mean women shouldn't show up to the office? No. Women have gotten good at dealing with harassment. Probably because it's a fact of life. It starts when we are twelve years old and a guy whistles from a car as he drives by. And it looks to me like it never ends. We cannot stop this. At lest not today.
The best we can do is not suppress ourselves behind a pseudonym as a measure of protection. Otherwise, men get all the benefits of blogging and women don't, and we create an all-new Web 2.0 version of the gender divide.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:22 PM on October 6, 2009
Best answer: I've been ruminating over this recently myself. Several people on MeFi and elsewhere know my handle, so my identity is not exactly top secret. But, as I work for a law firm, I don't think I'd feel comfortable answering any law-related AskMe questions if the connection to the firm were more apparent--even with the IANYL disclaimers--though I suppose I could just out myself and simultaneously create a sockpuppet.
However, I have considered setting up something bloggy/self promotional and I think I'd out myself here when I do that. Plus, I'd really like to link my real flickr account (under my real name), 'cos that where my good stuff is.
However, other than the law stuff (which is a liability issue for my employer), I don't think I'd be any more circumspect about posting than I am now. One really should try to put some effort and forethought into one's postings, regardless of whether one is anonymous.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:30 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
However, I have considered setting up something bloggy/self promotional and I think I'd out myself here when I do that. Plus, I'd really like to link my real flickr account (under my real name), 'cos that where my good stuff is.
However, other than the law stuff (which is a liability issue for my employer), I don't think I'd be any more circumspect about posting than I am now. One really should try to put some effort and forethought into one's postings, regardless of whether one is anonymous.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 1:30 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
I have had creepy real life followthrough from use of my full name online, and switched to pseudonyms exclusively about 10 years ago. I have 2 consistent pseudonyms (including jeather), which, truly, are not hard to link to my real name (and certainly if you know me in person, you can figure it out: jeather is a nickname a friend uses for me, in fact). A pseudonym isn't preventing me from being harassed, but it is keeping it from moving into the real world, which is my only goal.
That said, of course for facebook and related things I use my real name; when I had an online professional presence, I used my real name in places it would be appropriate.
posted by jeather at 1:31 PM on October 6, 2009
That said, of course for facebook and related things I use my real name; when I had an online professional presence, I used my real name in places it would be appropriate.
posted by jeather at 1:31 PM on October 6, 2009
Best answer: I certainly respect Penelope Trunk's point of view, and as always she states it beautifully and concisely.
But this isn't my office. My legal name is out there on my professional work, and I'm willing to accept the potential loss of privacy in return for the professional benefit of having a byline out there.
This, on the other hand, is playtime for me, and I don't see what the benefit of having my legal name associated with my pseudonym would be. For me, that is--I understand and respect the people who choose differently.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:33 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
But this isn't my office. My legal name is out there on my professional work, and I'm willing to accept the potential loss of privacy in return for the professional benefit of having a byline out there.
This, on the other hand, is playtime for me, and I don't see what the benefit of having my legal name associated with my pseudonym would be. For me, that is--I understand and respect the people who choose differently.
posted by Sidhedevil at 1:33 PM on October 6, 2009 [2 favorites]
I was wondering whether anyone - male or female - wanted to comment about whether there's any consideration of gender in their decision. (I guess that one's mostly for women -- I imagine for men the answer is No. ) In other words, is there a fear-of-creepy-stalker-factor.
Oh, another thing, as far as "I imagine for men the answer is No"... Just so you know, it's hardly unheard-of for women to stalk men. I'm a man, and I've been stalked by women online. (I mean actually stalked in the serious sense of the term, not like "hey how do you know so much about me, you must have been totally stalking me on Facebook lol.")
It's easy to assume that men are the ones who do all the bad, creepy stuff. They're not. Women aren't some homogenously good mass of people -- they can be bad and creepy too.
Anyway, I have to revise my comment that using your real name is purely positive. That's a negative I've experienced.
Using my real name has still been worth it. Easily, no question. Don't let strangers run your life.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:35 PM on October 6, 2009
Oh, another thing, as far as "I imagine for men the answer is No"... Just so you know, it's hardly unheard-of for women to stalk men. I'm a man, and I've been stalked by women online. (I mean actually stalked in the serious sense of the term, not like "hey how do you know so much about me, you must have been totally stalking me on Facebook lol.")
It's easy to assume that men are the ones who do all the bad, creepy stuff. They're not. Women aren't some homogenously good mass of people -- they can be bad and creepy too.
Anyway, I have to revise my comment that using your real name is purely positive. That's a negative I've experienced.
Using my real name has still been worth it. Easily, no question. Don't let strangers run your life.
posted by Jaltcoh at 1:35 PM on October 6, 2009
I'm a woman, and I use my real name pretty much everywhere online. The only reason I didn't use the same handle (kmeans) for Metafilter is because when I first signed up for MeFi, I wanted it to be anonymous for various other reasons that are no longer relevant, mostly having to do with other people I knew on the site.
I've never had any problems as a result of being very easily findable online. It's actually more convenient, really. I'm cognizant of the fact that I'm easily findable, so I don't post photos online of highly inappropriate things, but I don't find the need to censor myself too much. I know that search results on my name come up with some prominent things, like my Flickr account or my LinkedIn profile, so I'm not going to upload photos of myself doing keg stands or something on Flickr and make them publicly available.
posted by booknerd at 1:37 PM on October 6, 2009
I've never had any problems as a result of being very easily findable online. It's actually more convenient, really. I'm cognizant of the fact that I'm easily findable, so I don't post photos online of highly inappropriate things, but I don't find the need to censor myself too much. I know that search results on my name come up with some prominent things, like my Flickr account or my LinkedIn profile, so I'm not going to upload photos of myself doing keg stands or something on Flickr and make them publicly available.
posted by booknerd at 1:37 PM on October 6, 2009
I usually use my real name online. If I have another user name (like here), I'm definitely not trying to keep my name a secret.
I just started out on the Internet that way so I didn't think that much of it. My first name is unusually enough that some people may think I made it up anyway.
I am not a forward-facing person where I work so that doesn't matter. While I've been online for about 15 years, I don't have any regrets about anything I've said, nor has it causes me trouble.
(My first-name-last-name combo actually isn't all that uncommon, and there's a costume designer that shares it. Most hits on Google are for her, unless you start digging down.)
posted by darksong at 1:41 PM on October 6, 2009
I just started out on the Internet that way so I didn't think that much of it. My first name is unusually enough that some people may think I made it up anyway.
I am not a forward-facing person where I work so that doesn't matter. While I've been online for about 15 years, I don't have any regrets about anything I've said, nor has it causes me trouble.
(My first-name-last-name combo actually isn't all that uncommon, and there's a costume designer that shares it. Most hits on Google are for her, unless you start digging down.)
posted by darksong at 1:41 PM on October 6, 2009
I distinguish between backwards and forwards name using.
Example: On Metafilter, desjardins is a pseudonym, and very random at that. My mother would never associate it with me in a million years. However, you can very easily figure out who I am (and given my voluminous history, probably write my biography). I'm not very concerned about stalkers because I rarely get into fights or flirts with people.
But - it's difficult to go backwards from my real name to desjardins, because I've fairly carefully (I hope) differentiated the two so that the names don't appear on the same pages at the same time.
Allowing people online to know my real identity makes me think about what I say more carefully, as others have said upthread. Conversely, the fact that people know my real name but not my username allows me to have privacy online and lets me reveal things I might not in person.
posted by desjardins at 1:47 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Example: On Metafilter, desjardins is a pseudonym, and very random at that. My mother would never associate it with me in a million years. However, you can very easily figure out who I am (and given my voluminous history, probably write my biography). I'm not very concerned about stalkers because I rarely get into fights or flirts with people.
But - it's difficult to go backwards from my real name to desjardins, because I've fairly carefully (I hope) differentiated the two so that the names don't appear on the same pages at the same time.
Allowing people online to know my real identity makes me think about what I say more carefully, as others have said upthread. Conversely, the fact that people know my real name but not my username allows me to have privacy online and lets me reveal things I might not in person.
posted by desjardins at 1:47 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
I only use my real name when it's in connection to my work. If it's not professional, I don't want my name attached to it or else I have to start watching what I say more than I do already, and that's no fun.
posted by katillathehun at 1:47 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by katillathehun at 1:47 PM on October 6, 2009
I'm a sixteen year old guy, and I use my full name in a lot of places. I feel like my generation is much more likely to do that cause we've grown up with the internet.
posted by kylej at 2:15 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by kylej at 2:15 PM on October 6, 2009
I've never been shy about using my real name online, and while there have been some negative experiences that resulted from that, for the most part it's been neutral/positive. I've formed strong friendships with people thousands of miles away whom I'd never have met otherwise... and I've driven completely around the outside of a state to avoid the patrolman-father of a woman who apparently told him she was engaged before we'd even actually met (men are definitely not immune to scary people online).
Frankly, I use a handle to be -more- identifiable online. My actual name is so common that even people who know me well can have problems tracking me down. There's entire pages of "P/Pat/Patrick Lewis" entries in my local phone book alone, let alone the entire internet. There's even a semi-popular author with the name, practically guaranteeing anything I post would get buried deep in the bowels of google.
posted by Pufferish at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2009
Frankly, I use a handle to be -more- identifiable online. My actual name is so common that even people who know me well can have problems tracking me down. There's entire pages of "P/Pat/Patrick Lewis" entries in my local phone book alone, let alone the entire internet. There's even a semi-popular author with the name, practically guaranteeing anything I post would get buried deep in the bowels of google.
posted by Pufferish at 2:18 PM on October 6, 2009
I used to use my real name, but then I thought that that's like having casual sex without using a condom. Sure a condom's no guarantee, but at least if offers first line defense against the nasties.
posted by Neiltupper at 2:24 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
posted by Neiltupper at 2:24 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
I'm a girl who uses her regular name online often, but not all of the time. Here on Metafilter I am essentially un-anonymous, although my username is my first name only, my last name can be found in my profile as I own a firstnamelastname.com domain name. I find the effect of this is that I post comments that I would only say in real life, instead of being needlessly mean or snarky. It has nothing to do with my employment at all, it's just a personal choice I've made. Plus I like short usernames. There has been no negative repercussions because of this choice. As for positive things, it's not a Metafilter thing, but a long lost friend was able to contact me due to me having my firstnamelastname.com domain name and website, that was pretty cool and unexpected and certainly wouldn't have been possible if I were using a pseudonym. I have no fear of a creepy stalker.
posted by Meagan at 2:30 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by Meagan at 2:30 PM on October 6, 2009
I'm a woman but never been stalked/felt uncomfortable on the internet. About ten years ago I used my last name as my internet handle on a forum and a friend of a friend contacted me to ask if it was me that made that comment (it was nothing flameworthy - just about a book) and the meeting of real world and internet freaked me right out. I have eliminated all connection to my real name and online life. My first name is VERY usual, my last name is shared by four people in Canada and less then a hundred worldwide so either one in combination with the topics I post about (family/libraries/my geographical location) would make me easy to identify.
I am glad now that I did not do my "growing up" on the internet under my real name. I am planning on moving into executive positions and having a respectable name/brand will be important for that. Over the next while I will be consciously using my real name online for professional writings that may increase my chance of networking but leave the personal stuff like my sex life and drug experience under my handle (my co-workers know that stuff as part of knoaing all of me but I don't need a future hiring committee to see just one facet of me). It isn't really hiding what I think behind a handle, as much as recognising that context and audience in conversations is important; I don't need to know my co-workers sex lives, not do my children need to read my momentary frustrations about them in twenty years time.
posted by saucysault at 2:52 PM on October 6, 2009
I am glad now that I did not do my "growing up" on the internet under my real name. I am planning on moving into executive positions and having a respectable name/brand will be important for that. Over the next while I will be consciously using my real name online for professional writings that may increase my chance of networking but leave the personal stuff like my sex life and drug experience under my handle (my co-workers know that stuff as part of knoaing all of me but I don't need a future hiring committee to see just one facet of me). It isn't really hiding what I think behind a handle, as much as recognising that context and audience in conversations is important; I don't need to know my co-workers sex lives, not do my children need to read my momentary frustrations about them in twenty years time.
posted by saucysault at 2:52 PM on October 6, 2009
My first name is very UNusal - ack! I knew I should have gone with unique.
posted by saucysault at 2:53 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by saucysault at 2:53 PM on October 6, 2009
Hate it. I had no choice about it being used for work, then it was used without my permission when several road races I ran in posted results.
Which would be fine, but a female born the same month and year as me in the same city with the same first, middle and last name has provincial education records mixed up with mine (because of the name/birthdate confusion), a criminal record, and several letters to the editor published in the newspaper (and a few articles that mention her questionable activities). It's made for interesting conversation when potential work contacts, etc. have googled me. And made me reluctant to online date. Did I mention she has the same hair and eye color and is only two inches taller?
So I keep my name offline as much as possible. I use this same name for anything I do online. I'm well enough known by this name that I hold myself accountable to things I say and do as if it were my own.
Also, videoconferencing, web-based learning, research, etc. are all becoming a huge part of my job; i.e. I know students are googling myself and other instructors and don't think they should be able to connect me with my interests/opinions separate from work. I save it for people I have a connection with where knowing these things would be a natural outgrowth (in which case they know my real and internet names). It's a big decision, especially since you can't take it back.
posted by variella at 3:07 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Which would be fine, but a female born the same month and year as me in the same city with the same first, middle and last name has provincial education records mixed up with mine (because of the name/birthdate confusion), a criminal record, and several letters to the editor published in the newspaper (and a few articles that mention her questionable activities). It's made for interesting conversation when potential work contacts, etc. have googled me. And made me reluctant to online date. Did I mention she has the same hair and eye color and is only two inches taller?
So I keep my name offline as much as possible. I use this same name for anything I do online. I'm well enough known by this name that I hold myself accountable to things I say and do as if it were my own.
Also, videoconferencing, web-based learning, research, etc. are all becoming a huge part of my job; i.e. I know students are googling myself and other instructors and don't think they should be able to connect me with my interests/opinions separate from work. I save it for people I have a connection with where knowing these things would be a natural outgrowth (in which case they know my real and internet names). It's a big decision, especially since you can't take it back.
posted by variella at 3:07 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
It's easy to assume that men are the ones who do all the bad, creepy stuff. They're not. Women aren't some homogenously good mass of people -- they can be bad and creepy too.
Certainly.
However, every study of stalking done to date has reported that a significant majority of stalkers are male; the highest estimate I've seen is 90% male, and the lowest estimate I've seen is 66% male.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:22 PM on October 6, 2009
Certainly.
However, every study of stalking done to date has reported that a significant majority of stalkers are male; the highest estimate I've seen is 90% male, and the lowest estimate I've seen is 66% male.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:22 PM on October 6, 2009
I don't use my full legal name but in many places online I do use the same name, which is not-quite my real name. Hard to explain, but my main reason is that I like to travel to foreign countries, and as I understand it, border patrols and customs will sometimes google your name to see what turns up. As I do indulge in certain still-illegal activities, I don't enjoy having to hide them if I'm recounting an anecdote on my blog or on a message board.
posted by mannequito at 3:25 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by mannequito at 3:25 PM on October 6, 2009
Female and posting under my real name, here (well, not "the corpse" etc, but it's there in my profile). I've used my name the whole time I've been on-line, because I didn't know better when I started, and nothing bad has ever happened because of this. I'm not involved in any great Internet feuds and can't imagine anyone wanting to hunt me down. I'm reasonably cautious about what I say: I try not to be too specific about my family, for example.
I'll never be able to run for president, but that's fine.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:29 PM on October 6, 2009
I'll never be able to run for president, but that's fine.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:29 PM on October 6, 2009
I generally use my real name online and only use a pseudonym on Metafilter because most everyone else does, but my real name is in my profile. I mostly use my real name because I started posting to Usenet under my name at the age of like 18 never felt any particular reason to change.
I think the anonymous nature of many online communities contributes to bad behavior and the lack of decent societal mores. I wish everyone would post under their real names although I do recognize why some people cannot, and that as a guy I don't have to put up with a lot of crap that women have to put up with.
I couldn't get elected dogcatcher at this point in much of the country. "What?!?! He wants to legalize use of almost all drugs but criminalize both the industrial and personal abuse of antibiotics? He wants to legalize prostitution but get rid of corporate personhood? What a freak!"
Of course I live on the edge of West Hollywood so maybe I could get elected dogcatcher here.
posted by Justinian at 3:49 PM on October 6, 2009
I think the anonymous nature of many online communities contributes to bad behavior and the lack of decent societal mores. I wish everyone would post under their real names although I do recognize why some people cannot, and that as a guy I don't have to put up with a lot of crap that women have to put up with.
I couldn't get elected dogcatcher at this point in much of the country. "What?!?! He wants to legalize use of almost all drugs but criminalize both the industrial and personal abuse of antibiotics? He wants to legalize prostitution but get rid of corporate personhood? What a freak!"
Of course I live on the edge of West Hollywood so maybe I could get elected dogcatcher here.
posted by Justinian at 3:49 PM on October 6, 2009
One angle not brought up yet is Google's ranking algorithm PageRank.
Google ranks a webpage by how many (and what kind of) links point to it. Also important is the text that makes up those links. (It used to be the case, anyway, I'm not positive it still is).
So with this in mind I frequently post on blogs (that ask for name and website) with my real name and personal website address. That way, when my comment gets added to the page, it includes my real name as a hyperlink pointing to my website. When Google crawls that page, it will see my name pointing to my website, and it will give my website added relevancy for my name as a query.
This process has allowed my personal website to be at the top of the results when people search for my name, but requires I use my real name frequently.
posted by losvedir at 3:55 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
Google ranks a webpage by how many (and what kind of) links point to it. Also important is the text that makes up those links. (It used to be the case, anyway, I'm not positive it still is).
So with this in mind I frequently post on blogs (that ask for name and website) with my real name and personal website address. That way, when my comment gets added to the page, it includes my real name as a hyperlink pointing to my website. When Google crawls that page, it will see my name pointing to my website, and it will give my website added relevancy for my name as a query.
This process has allowed my personal website to be at the top of the results when people search for my name, but requires I use my real name frequently.
posted by losvedir at 3:55 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
When Google crawls that page, it will see my name pointing to my website, and it will give my website added relevancy for my name as a query.
I hate to break it to you, but most online platforms now use the "nofollow" attribute in comments, so that Google won't follow that link. This is designed to disincentivize comment spam. No follow = no page rank.
I use my name online, and made a conscious decision to do so a few years back. I've never regretted it. This is who I am, and I'm not going to hide myself for the sake of jobs, or easily offended acquaintances. I'm not a mean or vindictive person anyway, so it hasn't changed my posting habits much.
posted by chrisamiller at 4:08 PM on October 6, 2009
I hate to break it to you, but most online platforms now use the "nofollow" attribute in comments, so that Google won't follow that link. This is designed to disincentivize comment spam. No follow = no page rank.
I use my name online, and made a conscious decision to do so a few years back. I've never regretted it. This is who I am, and I'm not going to hide myself for the sake of jobs, or easily offended acquaintances. I'm not a mean or vindictive person anyway, so it hasn't changed my posting habits much.
posted by chrisamiller at 4:08 PM on October 6, 2009
However, every study of stalking done to date has reported that a significant majority of stalkers are male; the highest estimate I've seen is 90% male, and the lowest estimate I've seen is 66% male.
Well, is it a given that the stalker is the opposite gender from the victim? I don't think so. Anyway, I'm not surprised that most stalkers are men. I was responding to a comment that men simply don't need to worry about stalking. By the same token, I would disagree with a statement that women never have to worry about being homeless or being murdered, even though I believe most homeless are men and most murder victims are men.
posted by Jaltcoh at 4:11 PM on October 6, 2009
Well, is it a given that the stalker is the opposite gender from the victim? I don't think so. Anyway, I'm not surprised that most stalkers are men. I was responding to a comment that men simply don't need to worry about stalking. By the same token, I would disagree with a statement that women never have to worry about being homeless or being murdered, even though I believe most homeless are men and most murder victims are men.
posted by Jaltcoh at 4:11 PM on October 6, 2009
I use my real name and I'm female. Everything I say online is something I'd say directly in person.
posted by melodykramer at 4:14 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by melodykramer at 4:14 PM on October 6, 2009
Oh, and sorry to post about 50 comments in this thread, but I just remembered this really impressive mathematical insight about how blogging under your real name -- even making a lot of controversial statements -- affects your chances of getting a job:
Notably, even if your blogging alienates more people than it impresses, base rate considerations suggest that it's still overwhelmingly likely to be beneficial on net. Suppose, for example, that a Hiring Committee checking your blog has a massive 10% chance of being discouraged from hiring you, compared to a 2% chance of being encouraged to hire you when they otherwise wouldn't. The crucial observation is that the base rate is overwhelmingly weighted against hiring you to begin with: let's be optimistic and say that as many as 10% of your job applications will be successful by default. How does blogging change the default chances? Well, 1% (10% of the originally-inclined 10%) will be discouraged from hiring you, and 1.8% (i.e. 2% of the originally disinclined 90%) are shifted in your favour, for a net gain of .8%. So your overall success rate increases from 10% to 10.8%, even given the most unfriendly assumptions. It's easy to see that this happy effect is magnified if we are more pessimistic about our default chances, or less pessimistic about the ratio of impressed- to unimpressed blog readers. Plausibly, then, blogging is more professionally prudent than not. (Though anyone motivated by this reason alone would probably not do a very good job of it!)posted by Jaltcoh at 4:21 PM on October 6, 2009 [1 favorite]
I use my real, full name online for anything I've written professionally, though I'm pretty new at it, and I admit it's rather scary to take that plunge (having generally used a pseudonym in the past.)
But I want to be able to take credit for the work I've done, and have a stable identity and a reputation that I actively create. I also share a pretty common name with lots of other people, so it's not a huge deal for me. I also feel, on the creepy stalker issue, that being open and transparent takes away some of the "thrill of the hunt" for information by people who are looking to cause mischief.
However, on here, and a few other online places, I keep to a pseudonym. I've found that using a female-sounding pseudonym gets me dismissed from conversations and arguments more easily, and seems to elicit more arrogant, condescending responses from people online. I know this isn't the experience of everyone, and perhaps I'm misinterpreting my experience - nevertheless, that's how it has seemed to me.
Using a gender-neutral or male-sounding username, I seem to receive fairer, more civil responses, particularly on Metafilter. I hate to say that, but it's true.
posted by Ouisch at 4:42 PM on October 6, 2009
But I want to be able to take credit for the work I've done, and have a stable identity and a reputation that I actively create. I also share a pretty common name with lots of other people, so it's not a huge deal for me. I also feel, on the creepy stalker issue, that being open and transparent takes away some of the "thrill of the hunt" for information by people who are looking to cause mischief.
However, on here, and a few other online places, I keep to a pseudonym. I've found that using a female-sounding pseudonym gets me dismissed from conversations and arguments more easily, and seems to elicit more arrogant, condescending responses from people online. I know this isn't the experience of everyone, and perhaps I'm misinterpreting my experience - nevertheless, that's how it has seemed to me.
Using a gender-neutral or male-sounding username, I seem to receive fairer, more civil responses, particularly on Metafilter. I hate to say that, but it's true.
posted by Ouisch at 4:42 PM on October 6, 2009
Even where using a pseudonym or 'handle', I usually link to my website or give my real name.
I haven't had anything negative happen to me.
On the bright side, I've often had good things (like paying freelance clients) find me. It also provides my clients with some security that I won't screw them over -- I'm using my real name, so it's OK for them to give me their root password knowing that I hide little and publicly state who my past clients have been.
posted by SpecialK at 5:06 PM on October 6, 2009
I haven't had anything negative happen to me.
On the bright side, I've often had good things (like paying freelance clients) find me. It also provides my clients with some security that I won't screw them over -- I'm using my real name, so it's OK for them to give me their root password knowing that I hide little and publicly state who my past clients have been.
posted by SpecialK at 5:06 PM on October 6, 2009
Alona is my real name.
Nothing bad has come out of it, I'm just a bit more careful about my askme's, and use anonymous for those that have the potential to be embarrassing/incriminating/whatever, because it's linked to my name/
Also, it makes it a lot easier for meetups.
On some sites, though, I use a pseudonym, but that's stuff like a teen gay forum I signed up for when I was 16 and in the closet. Mostly everything now is alona or alona.livneh or something like that.
posted by alon at 5:18 PM on October 6, 2009
Nothing bad has come out of it, I'm just a bit more careful about my askme's, and use anonymous for those that have the potential to be embarrassing/incriminating/whatever, because it's linked to my name/
Also, it makes it a lot easier for meetups.
On some sites, though, I use a pseudonym, but that's stuff like a teen gay forum I signed up for when I was 16 and in the closet. Mostly everything now is alona or alona.livneh or something like that.
posted by alon at 5:18 PM on October 6, 2009
I'm female and I don't use my real name (not even on Facebook) and I tend to vary my screennames. I am certain that anyone who is determined could search one of my screennames and find all, or most, of the others, but a casual Google of my real name is mostly thwarted... a couple of testimonials for online stores and that's about it.
Back in 2000 or so I had a boyfriend and I was just absoutely shocked that he used his real name online (that was before the days when people were getting used to "living in public" and most people were more privacy conscious.) His reply to me was that most people just don't care what your real name is (or won't do anything with it). It's probably true that 99% of people don't care, but I have been harrassed online by someone I knew "in real life" and so I like to make it a bit more likely that only a more determined effort will find me. This person gave up before that point, but it did take a couple of threats to call the police.
When we first did Secret Quonsar here on MeFi I was a bit apprehensive about giving out my address to complete strangers... people I didn't even know from posting... but nothing bad's come of it. And if they're like me, they've lost/thrown out the address 2 weeks later anyways, lol.
posted by IndigoRain at 5:26 PM on October 6, 2009
Back in 2000 or so I had a boyfriend and I was just absoutely shocked that he used his real name online (that was before the days when people were getting used to "living in public" and most people were more privacy conscious.) His reply to me was that most people just don't care what your real name is (or won't do anything with it). It's probably true that 99% of people don't care, but I have been harrassed online by someone I knew "in real life" and so I like to make it a bit more likely that only a more determined effort will find me. This person gave up before that point, but it did take a couple of threats to call the police.
When we first did Secret Quonsar here on MeFi I was a bit apprehensive about giving out my address to complete strangers... people I didn't even know from posting... but nothing bad's come of it. And if they're like me, they've lost/thrown out the address 2 weeks later anyways, lol.
posted by IndigoRain at 5:26 PM on October 6, 2009
I've been "immlass" for about ten years now and it's easy to link that name to my real name. For instance, it's on my profile page here. Both my first and last names are uncommon and in combination, I think they're unique. For several years I blogged about politics under my real name, so it's out there and linked to opinions that could be used to my professional detriment.
I have never been harassed more than in passing, mostly because I don't put up with a lot of crap from internet bullies. I've never been stalked, either, but I'm married and so don't live alone. And while it's been years since I went shooting, I could get back in practice and get a concealed carry license if I really wanted to.
The persistence of my handle and the association with my real name, for good or ill, makes me responsible for my words, and I like that. The good from that outweighs the unlikely possibility that someone might stalk me. As for my opinions being linked to my name: anybody who doesn't want to hire me because of my politics is probably someone I don't want to work for anyway. The handle might be a bit cutesy for a woman my age, but there's a cute nerdy story that goes with it--it's short for my superhero handle--and after this long I don't think I could change it.
I'm female (if the handle didn't tip you off) and 40ish.
posted by immlass at 6:51 PM on October 6, 2009
I have never been harassed more than in passing, mostly because I don't put up with a lot of crap from internet bullies. I've never been stalked, either, but I'm married and so don't live alone. And while it's been years since I went shooting, I could get back in practice and get a concealed carry license if I really wanted to.
The persistence of my handle and the association with my real name, for good or ill, makes me responsible for my words, and I like that. The good from that outweighs the unlikely possibility that someone might stalk me. As for my opinions being linked to my name: anybody who doesn't want to hire me because of my politics is probably someone I don't want to work for anyway. The handle might be a bit cutesy for a woman my age, but there's a cute nerdy story that goes with it--it's short for my superhero handle--and after this long I don't think I could change it.
I'm female (if the handle didn't tip you off) and 40ish.
posted by immlass at 6:51 PM on October 6, 2009
I usually use my real name, though I am a 16 year old girl, so I am probably in a different situation than many of you. Sometimes it's my username, sometimes it's not, it really depends on the attitude of the site and what others users in such a place use.
However, my name (Rachel Smith) assures me of almost total anonymitiy - it's impossible to google me, even using my city, email address, anything. I'm not worried at all - though I did at some point give my phone number to something shady (back when I was obsessed with freebie sites) so I get periodic calls from debt collectors who back off as soon as I tell them that they have the wrong address and SSN. That is a bit worrisome, so I'm more careful about personal info, but my name alone is kinda whatever to me.
posted by R a c h e l at 7:26 PM on October 6, 2009
However, my name (Rachel Smith) assures me of almost total anonymitiy - it's impossible to google me, even using my city, email address, anything. I'm not worried at all - though I did at some point give my phone number to something shady (back when I was obsessed with freebie sites) so I get periodic calls from debt collectors who back off as soon as I tell them that they have the wrong address and SSN. That is a bit worrisome, so I'm more careful about personal info, but my name alone is kinda whatever to me.
posted by R a c h e l at 7:26 PM on October 6, 2009
For non-professional posts/items/fora, I want to be the dog my favorite dog would have been, had he lived long enough to be a dog using the Internet. In the professional world, I'll settle for being the (professional) me.
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 8:46 PM on October 6, 2009
posted by Napoleonic Terrier at 8:46 PM on October 6, 2009
Data point: I used to use my real name without reservation online until I did a google search of my real name and discovered that the first three hits were:
- Links to my postings on a professional wrestling message board
- A letter to the editor I had printed in Salon about professional wrestling
- A "thank you" given to me by the webmaster of a pro wrestling fan site for giving him material for a "Best Pro Wrestling Quotes" project
All of which would have been fine except for the fact I was not 12 years old
posted by The Gooch at 10:18 PM on October 6, 2009
- Links to my postings on a professional wrestling message board
- A letter to the editor I had printed in Salon about professional wrestling
- A "thank you" given to me by the webmaster of a pro wrestling fan site for giving him material for a "Best Pro Wrestling Quotes" project
All of which would have been fine except for the fact I was not 12 years old
posted by The Gooch at 10:18 PM on October 6, 2009
Aleen is my first name--it's fairly unusual. I keep my last name to myself in most cases. I also have a blog that I've tried to keep anonymous. There are details that could identify me if you both know me and look hard enough, but chances are only my closest friends would know...and that's iffy.
Keeping my name to myself isn't a big deal to me as much as my address, phone number, etc. I try to be vague or just don't answer when others ask me.
BTW: I am still very conscious that something could have been overlooked in my quest to protect my anonymity and am very careful to never say anything I don't want traced back to me. There's little to no difference in what I say under that user name versus this one.
posted by Aleen at 10:49 PM on October 6, 2009
Keeping my name to myself isn't a big deal to me as much as my address, phone number, etc. I try to be vague or just don't answer when others ask me.
BTW: I am still very conscious that something could have been overlooked in my quest to protect my anonymity and am very careful to never say anything I don't want traced back to me. There's little to no difference in what I say under that user name versus this one.
posted by Aleen at 10:49 PM on October 6, 2009
I'm pretty sure I'm about to make the switch over to using my real name. An old post by Jessamyn made me start considering it a couple years ago. Sorry for not digging up her post, but she's made so many. Actually, it may have been an IRC conversation, I just can't remember now. Anyhow, she and I are about the same age, and I respect her opinions. Her lack of concern about the issue gives me a boost of confidence.
I'm a painter who's finally been able to show in public regularly for about the past year and have more shows planned through March. It would be to my benefit to make a website with my name on it. I work with the public at a university every day, wearing a mandatory nametag with my first and last name on it. I've asked the guy in charge to change this repeatedly, but no luck so far. I'm easily accessible in the phone book and so is my home address. That creeps me out more than internet people. I have a lot people on my Facebook list, so it isn't like folks don't know what I'm up to. All my friends know I'm a night owl, so posting at this hour isn't terribly embarrassing. If they find me here, they may wonder what the deal is with all my MeFi spouses, but who cares, really.
I've been active on the internet for almost 15 years and haven't ever had a flameout and I don't think I've pissed anyone off too much. But then, I was raised by parents who made sure I understood the importance of manners.
posted by lilywing13 at 1:54 AM on October 7, 2009
I'm a painter who's finally been able to show in public regularly for about the past year and have more shows planned through March. It would be to my benefit to make a website with my name on it. I work with the public at a university every day, wearing a mandatory nametag with my first and last name on it. I've asked the guy in charge to change this repeatedly, but no luck so far. I'm easily accessible in the phone book and so is my home address. That creeps me out more than internet people. I have a lot people on my Facebook list, so it isn't like folks don't know what I'm up to. All my friends know I'm a night owl, so posting at this hour isn't terribly embarrassing. If they find me here, they may wonder what the deal is with all my MeFi spouses, but who cares, really.
I've been active on the internet for almost 15 years and haven't ever had a flameout and I don't think I've pissed anyone off too much. But then, I was raised by parents who made sure I understood the importance of manners.
posted by lilywing13 at 1:54 AM on October 7, 2009
When I started using online services way back when, I thought it was more fun to think up unique/interesting user names. Eventually I became "internet famous" enough that my real name inevitably became attached to my projects. That's when I decided to standardize on this username, which is a variation of my real name, and put my real name in profiles, about pages, etc. I recently signed up for a site that is a bit more fun/whimsical so for the first time in a while I made up a new username, but I still but my real name in my profile.
On the negative side, I once had someone show up at my job to ask me to take down an article from my site. I politely declined and stated my views on the matter, showed him the door, and that was that.
On the positive side, both my name and my username come up first and often in Google searches, so I am fairly findable (but not unique even though my name is not common).
No regrets so far.
posted by mikepop at 5:46 AM on October 7, 2009
On the negative side, I once had someone show up at my job to ask me to take down an article from my site. I politely declined and stated my views on the matter, showed him the door, and that was that.
On the positive side, both my name and my username come up first and often in Google searches, so I am fairly findable (but not unique even though my name is not common).
No regrets so far.
posted by mikepop at 5:46 AM on October 7, 2009
Response by poster: Thanks everyone. It's been a really interesting discussion.
The pros seem to be: professional branding, a cohesive psychological identity, simplicity, a disincentive to crappy behavior
The cons are: a blurring of work/life lines, an inhibition about posting private things, people being able to find you physically, vulnerability, never being able to escape your own history.
I understand the argument that a lack of anonymity makes for better behavior, and I agree with that generally -- however, at this point, I can't begin to remember all the things I've posted in here about Mr. Llama or my family, or my feelings about motherhood. I know there are things I would not have posted as me, and ways that if I suddenly slapped my name on my profile I'd be violating other people's privacy.
As much as I don't like it, because I do like the simple and honest first and foremost, I think the answer might be something like Admiral Haddock's -- anonymous IDs and non-anonymous IDs.
I'm mildly exhausted thinking about it.
At any rate, not all communities are Metafilter. The office in question has poor security and has had people 'stop by' wearing their best pair of crazypants to complain about things that happen online. I was going to post one of their electronic communications but ironically I figured it could be traced back so maybe you can just imagine Yahoo answers thrown into a blender with some booze and maybe a handgun.
For this reason, Mr. Llama asked me to not to use my first and last name in a particular professional capacity, though I think I will start using it in other places online and in other ways.
I was kind of hoping I'd find myself feeling definitively one way or another -- but for me I think the answer is --- multiple identities.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 7:07 AM on October 7, 2009
The pros seem to be: professional branding, a cohesive psychological identity, simplicity, a disincentive to crappy behavior
The cons are: a blurring of work/life lines, an inhibition about posting private things, people being able to find you physically, vulnerability, never being able to escape your own history.
I understand the argument that a lack of anonymity makes for better behavior, and I agree with that generally -- however, at this point, I can't begin to remember all the things I've posted in here about Mr. Llama or my family, or my feelings about motherhood. I know there are things I would not have posted as me, and ways that if I suddenly slapped my name on my profile I'd be violating other people's privacy.
As much as I don't like it, because I do like the simple and honest first and foremost, I think the answer might be something like Admiral Haddock's -- anonymous IDs and non-anonymous IDs.
I'm mildly exhausted thinking about it.
At any rate, not all communities are Metafilter. The office in question has poor security and has had people 'stop by' wearing their best pair of crazypants to complain about things that happen online. I was going to post one of their electronic communications but ironically I figured it could be traced back so maybe you can just imagine Yahoo answers thrown into a blender with some booze and maybe a handgun.
For this reason, Mr. Llama asked me to not to use my first and last name in a particular professional capacity, though I think I will start using it in other places online and in other ways.
I was kind of hoping I'd find myself feeling definitively one way or another -- but for me I think the answer is --- multiple identities.
posted by A Terrible Llama at 7:07 AM on October 7, 2009
I once asked a similar question in Metatalk. Some of the responses there may be useful to you, though my concerns at the time were focused on academia and MeFi specific. Like you, I find thinking about it to be somewhat exhausting, and try not to think about very much these days.
posted by Kwine at 8:26 AM on October 7, 2009
posted by Kwine at 8:26 AM on October 7, 2009
Also, Llama, think about the dilemmas facing people publishing online or in real life that are female; I have edited two books under my maiden name (and won AP awards, things of that nature) that are essential parts of my CV, but my married name is associated with most of my online identities, including the masthead of the publication where I'm currently employed; if I re-marry, I will take my new husband's name, thus altering my professional persona yet again.
I don't purposely obfuscate my maiden name from potential employers, but I also don't hyphenate my names on Facebook or the like. If someone truly wants to find me or something I said on a message board in 1995, they will; I've struggled with trying to present a uniform identity professionally and personally, but such is life.
Now, to address the crazypants/safety factor: yes, I've had stalkers. Two so far. Only one resulted in a restraining order, but one of the ways I was able to GET the restraining order is by showing that the photos and email addresses associated with both the stalker's accounts and my own were able to prove our respective identities without question to the court. People are a lot less eager to threaten a "real person" vs. a fake identity precisely for that reason; it constitutes harassment, threats and stalking and is a punishable offense.
If you had a high-risk job, like physician at an abortion clinic, I'd think twice, of course. Otherwise, yeah, I'd say what everyone said upthread about it being a good idea in that it stops you from saying and doing things you normally wouldn't do (much like the "what would you do if you could be invisible for a day?" scenarios we all imagined as a kid).
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:34 AM on October 7, 2009
I don't purposely obfuscate my maiden name from potential employers, but I also don't hyphenate my names on Facebook or the like. If someone truly wants to find me or something I said on a message board in 1995, they will; I've struggled with trying to present a uniform identity professionally and personally, but such is life.
Now, to address the crazypants/safety factor: yes, I've had stalkers. Two so far. Only one resulted in a restraining order, but one of the ways I was able to GET the restraining order is by showing that the photos and email addresses associated with both the stalker's accounts and my own were able to prove our respective identities without question to the court. People are a lot less eager to threaten a "real person" vs. a fake identity precisely for that reason; it constitutes harassment, threats and stalking and is a punishable offense.
If you had a high-risk job, like physician at an abortion clinic, I'd think twice, of course. Otherwise, yeah, I'd say what everyone said upthread about it being a good idea in that it stops you from saying and doing things you normally wouldn't do (much like the "what would you do if you could be invisible for a day?" scenarios we all imagined as a kid).
posted by Unicorn on the cob at 8:34 AM on October 7, 2009
I mostly use my real name online (if some reasonable variant of my real name is available at the site in question). Using a pseudonym brings back too many juvenile memories of BBS's. Also, it's pretty hard not to slip-up and expose your true identity. It's easier just to behave in a manner which makes you comfortable for your online and offline reputations to be closely tied.
I've never had any problems.
On the other hand, I can see how stalkers/harassment would be a concern for women.
posted by paulg at 9:16 AM on October 7, 2009
I've never had any problems.
On the other hand, I can see how stalkers/harassment would be a concern for women.
posted by paulg at 9:16 AM on October 7, 2009
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2. No, though I'm always cognizant that a customer (if curious) could dig a little and find all of my postings now. As regards my work, I'm a bit circumspect online (unless I'm posting in company forums, which I do on occasion).
3. Nothing particularly negative. On the positive side, I tend to weigh my words a little more carefully. The old litmus test of "what would you like read back to you in court" has been altered somewhat to "what would like your children to read after you're gone" (or something along those lines).
posted by jquinby at 12:34 PM on October 6, 2009