period sex tips, please.

October 1, 2009 9:08 AM

your tips for sex during a woman's period, please.

we use towels to minimize staining, but I'm wondering if there's some better solution. Plus, does anyone have a trick for minimizing blood during the act? Neither of us has a problem with it, exactly, but it's not super sexy and sometimes the extra slickness is unwelcome.

posted by anonymous to Human Relations (25 answers total)

I don't think you can ever stop it completely, but missionary is definitely the least messy position. Or if you're not so aggressive that you'll knock it out, she can wear a diaphragm during sex. That'd definitely slow down the flow.

(Also, like... that's what those backup orifices are for, kids!)
posted by rokusan at 9:15 AM on October 1, 2009

Also, like... that's what those backup orifices are for, kids!

Not everyone digs some of those backup orifices, though....

Seconding the diaphragm, if you can do that. Or, the cervical cap, if you can get your hands on one, is a nifty contraceptive device that also contains things.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 9:19 AM on October 1, 2009

Would something like the mooncup be an option? I guess it depends on how far you can (or need to) insert it.
posted by Solomon at 9:20 AM on October 1, 2009

Remove tampon slightly prior...insert a new one and immediately remove. Then she'll need a little extra lovin to get wet enough to proceed with penetration, but the extra wipity-wipe cleans out the fluid a bit so there's a bit less mess. Good luck and enjoy!
posted by teragram at 9:20 AM on October 1, 2009

In the shower.
posted by Inspector.Gadget at 9:20 AM on October 1, 2009 [2 favorites]

Could you try... umm... scooping out the unwanted matter with your fingers before the act? The shower is an ideal place.
posted by cranberrymonger at 9:20 AM on October 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Nope. Big thirsty towel on the bed. No brainer. Always looks like a crime scene after but still works the best.

Just don't have him pull out until completion. Out of sight, out of mind.
posted by Zambrano at 9:21 AM on October 1, 2009 [4 favorites]

This may be obvious, but don't have sex immediately after a long period of laying horizontally (like after sleeping). The blood builds up/pools in the uterus and will all come out at once. Stand up for a few minutes and use the bathroom first.
posted by peanut butter milkshake at 9:22 AM on October 1, 2009

Would something like the mooncup be an option? I guess it depends on how far you can (or need to) insert it.

From what I've heard, that's a bad idea. The mooncup sits pretty low in the vagina, and has a little pointy tip.

Better: Instead cups, emptied immediately before sex; works best in missionary position. Similar to a diaphragm, but cheaper and easier to find (I recently asked my doctor about getting a diaphragm, and their office doesn't even fit women for them any more because no one asks for them).

Best: Seasponge tampons, again, emptied/rinsed immediately before sex. I'd probably pull out with these, but that's mostly because I love my seasponge tampons and wouldn't want one to get all jizzy. You pretty much can't feel them on the woman's side of things, and it's not plastic or bulky on the men's side of the deed if he can feel it at all, less chance for a "spill" than a diaphragm and instead cups because they're absorbent, and they're pretty cheap.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:35 AM on October 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Oh, and seasponge tampons are far less drying than, say, a regular tampon, so you should still get at least a little natural lubrication, too.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 9:36 AM on October 1, 2009

Seconding Instead or sea sponge. You can always have a good rinse with the showerhead beforehand, or a bath (which for some people tends to slow things down for a little while) as well.
posted by Lyn Never at 9:51 AM on October 1, 2009

She could try wearing the tampon right up until foreplay starts. I do this and haven't seen any blood at all during the act. I was actually surprised to see this thread - I thought it was one of those times the blood flow slowed down, like during a shower.
posted by biochemist at 10:19 AM on October 1, 2009

I have a friend who swears by the seasponge for sexy results. Personally, I spend the week curled in a fetal position growling at anyone who comes near me...
posted by JoanArkham at 11:02 AM on October 1, 2009

You don't need a seasponge. Just take out the tampon right before you're going to engage. And get a good towel.
posted by roomthreeseventeen at 11:03 AM on October 1, 2009

This is one of the wonders of the diaphragm, which I know seems like a steam-powered contraceptive device to folks today.

Also, I think that woman on top is much less messy than missionary.

Could you try... umm... scooping out the unwanted matter with your fingers before the act?

?? I don't see how that would work?? Menstrual flow is constant, so.

Although I agree with roomthreeseventeen that wearing a high-absorbency tampon first and taking it out just previous to sexing is one way to start with less blood, etc., in the system.
posted by Sidhedevil at 12:02 PM on October 1, 2009

It's a good opportunity to knock it off for a bit so it feels all better again a week later. Well, IMHO :)
posted by wackybrit at 12:28 PM on October 1, 2009

pick the lesser flow days, use a towel, remove the tampon immediately before, clean up in the shower.
posted by nadawi at 12:28 PM on October 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

Just make sure to use a dark towel, what we can't see doesn't bother us, does it! No worries then about the fabric staining either then.
posted by albertagirl at 12:28 PM on October 1, 2009

Nthing shower, and NOT THE FIRST DAY if you want to avoid a massive crime scene.

Monthly bloodbath or don't-touch-me induced crime scene? Even I'm not sure....
posted by Space Kitty at 12:34 PM on October 1, 2009

Could you try... umm... scooping out the unwanted matter with your fingers before the act?

?? I don't see how that would work?? Menstrual flow is constant, so.

I agree that it doesn't get rid of the blood completely and wouldn't stop a flowing period but it would remove any solids or blood that had built-up over the course of a few hours (especially if the woman was lying down as peanutbuttermilkshake pointed out).

To each her own but I find it helpful.
posted by cranberrymonger at 1:01 PM on October 1, 2009

Nth-ing Instead Cups! Insert a new one 20 minutes or so beforehand, it makes the whole process very tidy and comfortable. Best invention EVER!
posted by tastybrains at 2:07 PM on October 1, 2009

I agree that it doesn't get rid of the blood completely and wouldn't stop a flowing period but it would remove any solids or blood that had built-up over the course of a few hours (especially if the woman was lying down as peanutbuttermilkshake pointed out).

To each her own but I find it helpful.

Ah. I guess this is mystifying to me because I always, always wear tampons, so obviously I'm not the target audience for this particular bit of advice. Sorry for having missed your point.
posted by Sidhedevil at 3:01 PM on October 1, 2009

Instead cups are the way to go. NOT moon or diva or any of the reusable cups, those sit near the opening of the vagina, so they would definitely not be appropriate for this usage.
posted by ishotjr at 3:20 PM on October 1, 2009

Diaphram, or Instead cup - basically the same design. Note: diaphrams aren't good birth control without the spermicidal jelly (you need the extra thick stuff), but are just fine with it.
posted by jb at 4:44 PM on October 1, 2009

Black towels. The blood is still there but it's much less visible.
posted by Jacqueline at 4:05 PM on October 2, 2009