What is this scary statue?

September 20, 2009 9:39 AM

[Creepy statue filter] I moved into a new place a couple of months ago, and there was a creepy statue left outside. Does anyone know what the hell this thing is?
posted by grieserm to Home & Garden (24 answers total)

Best answer: It's student art. Donate to Goodwill.
posted by theora55 at 9:44 AM on September 20, 2009

How can you not love that? Put it in the corner of the garden and let it cry in the rain.
posted by rokusan at 9:47 AM on September 20, 2009

Response by poster: I'm afraid I'll get cursed if I touch it!
posted by grieserm at 9:48 AM on September 20, 2009

You put that in the middle of a garden and you plant roses and deadly plants around it. You do this now.
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 AM on September 20, 2009 [14 favorites]

It might have a body entombed inside it?

It's obviously meant to be taken with you on trips around the country and photographed at various monuments.
posted by matty at 9:53 AM on September 20, 2009

Response by poster: Maybe that is the curse. I am now cursed to lug a 30 pound statue around the world.
posted by grieserm at 9:54 AM on September 20, 2009 [3 favorites]

It kind of looks like a stylized sculpture of the Tears of St. Peter, by El Greco. He was a fisherman. So it's lucky if you want to touch it before you go fishing?

I understand how you feel. My Grannie had the Flaming Heart of Jesus on her wall and it used to creep me out too.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 10:01 AM on September 20, 2009

Best answer: Maybe it's supposed to be a take-off of Donatello's Mary Magdalena?
posted by Houstonian at 10:03 AM on September 20, 2009

Here's a close-up of the face from Donatello's piece.
posted by Houstonian at 10:08 AM on September 20, 2009

Maybe a water nymph? It's only the top half, so maybe you're supposed to put in in a pond, so it looks like it appears to live in the water.
posted by ctmf at 10:09 AM on September 20, 2009

Looks a little like a Green Man to me
posted by Iron Rat at 10:24 AM on September 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think Houstonian is right, and it's a Donatello-inspired Mary Magdalen-- the long hair marks it out as such. She's supposed to have lived as a hermit in the wilderness with only her hair to cover her.
posted by Pallas Athena at 11:11 AM on September 20, 2009

All I can say is never watch this episode of Dr. Who as long as that thing is anywhere near your house. (Spoliers, obv.)

But yes, I agree that based on the links above Mary Magdalene seems most likely.
posted by MsMolly at 12:03 PM on September 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

I think someone's mom sculpted it to remind her son/daughter to call home frequently. It's probably called "The Guilt Trip."
posted by anniecat at 1:06 PM on September 20, 2009 [2 favorites]

Glad someone else thought of that Doctor Who episode. Whatever you do, do not blink.
posted by afx237vi at 1:41 PM on September 20, 2009

If you had two, however, you could trick them into facing each other and the problem would sort itself out.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 1:57 PM on September 20, 2009 [4 favorites]

Beware what eldritch secrets you may unearth when inquiring into the origins and significance of strange and frightening statues...
posted by Lifeson at 3:15 PM on September 20, 2009

I think it looks like a kind of Green Man. I love it - you should put it nestled in a shrub... it's beautiful. It's like someone left you a little treasure.
posted by lottie at 4:19 PM on September 20, 2009

So, now that it's identified can we talk about what you should do with it? Because I think it needs to become a bathtub shrine.
posted by contraption at 4:21 PM on September 20, 2009

It's really not bad...they did a good job with the hands. You should keep it..even though it seems despondent, I think it has a nice spirit--not a creepy one. I think it is lucky!
posted by naplesyellow at 4:54 PM on September 20, 2009

Halloween is coming up. Anyone with a fake tombstone in their front yard would love this to look like a body coming out of a grave.
posted by stray thoughts at 6:00 PM on September 20, 2009

The half-buried nature of the statue causes me to wonder if it's someone's attempt at St Joseph. There's a fairly recent (and, especially given recent market conditions, increasingly popular) superstition that burying a figure of St Joseph on your property will cause it to sell faster. A somewhat curious eHow step-by-step here (read through to the last step). It's also a topic previously covered by Metafilter.
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 6:50 PM on September 20, 2009 [1 favorite]

Put a football in her hands and set her on the TV. Hail Mary
posted by Acacia at 9:14 PM on September 20, 2009

Early 3rd century, Persian - the green glaze is characteristic of Parthian ceramics. There's probably a script on the bottom to indicate why the figure - perhaps some temple virgin - is wailing. Ah, here it iŹ̡À͟L̴G̷̛Ò̡͡
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:50 AM on September 21, 2009