What is this scary statue?

September 20, 2009 9:39 AM

[Creepy statue filter] I moved into a new place a couple of months ago, and there was a creepy statue left outside. Does anyone know what the hell this thing is?
posted by grieserm to home & garden (25 comments total)

It's student art. Donate to Goodwill.
posted by theora55 at 9:44 AM on September 20

How can you not love that? Put it in the corner of the garden and let it cry in the rain.
posted by rokusan at 9:47 AM on September 20

I'm afraid I'll get cursed if I touch it!
posted by grieserm at 9:48 AM on September 20

You put that in the middle of a garden and you plant roses and deadly plants around it. You do this now.
posted by The Whelk at 9:51 AM on September 20 [14 favorites]

It might have a body entombed inside it?

It's obviously meant to be taken with you on trips around the country and photographed at various monuments.
posted by matty at 9:53 AM on September 20

Maybe that is the curse. I am now cursed to lug a 30 pound statue around the world.
posted by grieserm at 9:54 AM on September 20 [3 favorites]

It kind of looks like a stylized sculpture of the Tears of St. Peter, by El Greco. He was a fisherman. So it's lucky if you want to touch it before you go fishing?

I understand how you feel. My Grannie had the Flaming Heart of Jesus on her wall and it used to creep me out too.
posted by Marie Mon Dieu at 10:01 AM on September 20

I used to see stuff like that all the time in tiny front yards Queens, usually the virgin mary and a bit more colorful but not always, sometimes it looked like another saint or even the JC himself...that plus the supplicating hands seems to point to a religious figure.

The commenter thinks it's John the Baptist, could be but I've always seen him with a beard.

Does the head look like there is a head covering? In which case it might be a woman...maybe even the BVM herself.

Too bad they didn't take the poor guy with them! Maybe he didn't do his job...in which case you're perfectly welcome to kick him out.
posted by kathrineg at 10:02 AM on September 20

Maybe it's supposed to be a take-off of Donatello's Mary Magdalena?
posted by Houstonian at 10:03 AM on September 20

Here's a close-up of the face from Donatello's piece.
posted by Houstonian at 10:08 AM on September 20

Maybe a water nymph? It's only the top half, so maybe you're supposed to put in in a pond, so it looks like it appears to live in the water.
posted by ctmf at 10:09 AM on September 20

Looks a little like a Green Man to me
posted by Iron Rat at 10:24 AM on September 20 [1 favorite]

I think Houstonian is right, and it's a Donatello-inspired Mary Magdalen-- the long hair marks it out as such. She's supposed to have lived as a hermit in the wilderness with only her hair to cover her.
posted by Pallas Athena at 11:11 AM on September 20

All I can say is never watch this episode of Dr. Who as long as that thing is anywhere near your house. (Spoliers, obv.)

But yes, I agree that based on the links above Mary Magdalene seems most likely.
posted by MsMolly at 12:03 PM on September 20 [1 favorite]

I think someone's mom sculpted it to remind her son/daughter to call home frequently. It's probably called "The Guilt Trip."
posted by anniecat at 1:06 PM on September 20 [2 favorites]

Glad someone else thought of that Doctor Who episode. Whatever you do, do not blink.
posted by afx237vi at 1:41 PM on September 20

If you had two, however, you could trick them into facing each other and the problem would sort itself out.
posted by Flipping_Hades_Terwilliger at 1:57 PM on September 20 [4 favorites]

Beware what eldritch secrets you may unearth when inquiring into the origins and significance of strange and frightening statues...
posted by Lifeson at 3:15 PM on September 20

I think it looks like a kind of Green Man. I love it - you should put it nestled in a shrub... it's beautiful. It's like someone left you a little treasure.
posted by lottie at 4:19 PM on September 20

So, now that it's identified can we talk about what you should do with it? Because I think it needs to become a bathtub shrine.
posted by contraption at 4:21 PM on September 20

It's really not bad...they did a good job with the hands. You should keep it..even though it seems despondent, I think it has a nice spirit--not a creepy one. I think it is lucky!
posted by naplesyellow at 4:54 PM on September 20

Halloween is coming up. Anyone with a fake tombstone in their front yard would love this to look like a body coming out of a grave.
posted by stray thoughts at 6:00 PM on September 20

The half-buried nature of the statue causes me to wonder if it's someone's attempt at St Joseph. There's a fairly recent (and, especially given recent market conditions, increasingly popular) superstition that burying a figure of St Joseph on your property will cause it to sell faster. A somewhat curious eHow step-by-step here (read through to the last step). It's also a topic previously covered by Metafilter.
posted by Bora Horza Gobuchul at 6:50 PM on September 20

Put a football in her hands and set her on the TV. Hail Mary
posted by Acacia at 9:14 PM on September 20

Early 3rd century, Persian - the green glaze is characteristic of Parthian ceramics. There's probably a script on the bottom to indicate why the figure - perhaps some temple virgin - is wailing. Ah, here it iŹ̡À͟L̴G̷̛Ò̡͡
posted by obiwanwasabi at 3:50 AM on September 21