I like to make plans, he doesn't. What now?
August 25, 2009 9:14 AM Subscribe
What do you do when one partner likes to make advance plans and the other likes to be spontaneous, in a relationship?
posted by CatherineK to human relations (26 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
A little bit of background info: Dating one year, don't live together (about 20 mins away from each other), see each other about 1-2x during the week and at least one weekend day/night together.
I'm having some conflict in my relationship because I like to plan out my week as far as what activities I'm doing, what friends I'm hanging out with, and when I see my BF. On the opposite end of the spectrum, my BF likes to make plans to see each other on the day of or only about one day in advance. His friends are the same way as him and my friends are the same way as me. Some months, I have every weekend and many weekdays planned with events and activities.
Lately, this has become an ongoing, repetitive fight between my boyfriend and I. We both want to understand each other's styles more and somehow find a way for both of us to win. We're looking for a middle ground solution here.
Has anyone had any experience within a relationship where two people have opposite ways of functioning?