Man with no personality
July 27, 2009 5:50 AM Subscribe
Boyfriend's Strange Personality-What Could it Be?
posted by ~Sushma~ to Human Relations (66 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I've been seeing'John' for five years. He has strong body language which I can decipher but I can't figure out the rest. He claims to be 'shy' and would prefer to be a 'wallflower' and not even let people know he is there, however when he drinks (beer-every evening) in a bar setting, he becomes very outgoing and loud. On a normal day, he gets angry if you ask him personal questions, even belligerent and defensive. It took me three years to make sure he was not married, he keeps in very close contact with his ex wife and she is his best friend. He has a home in another state and is contracting here-300 miles away, and when I ask to go to his home he gets angry and deflects, like he doesn't want me in his other life, but can't live without me here. It's like he is married, but claims he isn't. His affect is neutral, doesn't really look me in the eye, unaffectionate and even cold. He has little emotion, no empathy, no love, just anger when I push his buttons. I know how to get him pissed off and do so just to get some emotion out of him. I HAVE seem him cry, when I broke it off with him because he would not make a long term commitment with me, yet he keeps coming back in synch with our sick co-dependency ever present. He will NOT say he loves me, either he cannot do so or really doesn't, he sends mixed messages. He is meticulous with his automobiles, they are never dirty, and is a creature of habit. His sister is a spinster and his mother are the same, nothing is out of place in the home. He will not let me meet his mother. I've never met anyone that is as closed as he, yet he tells me that I am the only person that knows as much about him then anyone in the world. Am I a fool number one, and number two, what is his type of personality called?? It's driving me nuts.
Example: I was in a horrific motorcycle accident, and now have PTSD and my own hell to deal with. I wanted to talk to him about it but he turned the radio up in the car to shut me out, and told me to accept what happened and move on,"It is what it is". He had an easy childhood and told me once that "His ex wife is his best friend, number one in his life, she is the mother of his children, his mother was number two, and I'd be lucky if I ever made number three" in anger. That is the only emotion I get out of him, even when we make love. No personality, yet the man cannot sleep at night or show any affection at all.