There's a hole in the bucket, dear Liza, dear Liza...
July 6, 2009 1:26 PM Subscribe
Asking for a friend: I am at my wits end. How can I get my husband to get back on track and do what needs to get done?
posted by bolognius maximus to human relations (30 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My friend and her husband have been married for 35 years. He lost his job about 5 months ago and since then has done nothing to change the situation. She works full-time, and he stays at home and collects unemployment. Her job does not provide health insurance.
About 7 years ago, they decided to raise elk as an investment. He was planning on selling stock and meat. After they invested a lot of money in starter stock, he never took it past that. Now they have a large herd that eats a lot, and it takes about $700/month to feed them. For my friend, this is a lot of stress, because she says they were barely getting by, and now they are getting behind. She has been asking him for about a year to sell the elk. Whenever she tries to talk to him about his finding another job, he gets moody and pouty and "doesn't want to talk about it". According to my friend, each time she has a discussion with him about the elk or anything financial, he agrees with her. Then he does nothing.
She doesn't know what to do. She is fed up (with everything-she is having difficulty coping as well). She doesn't believe in divorce, but she has threatened to leave him. Nothing seems to work. So what can she do? Has anyone on the green experienced something similar? I advised her that he is probably depressed and needs therapy, but he is the sort that doesn't really go for that type of thing (think very typical midwestern farm couple).
So I am asking on her behalf for suggesions, thoughts, ideas of any sort. I have tried to write down all the important info, but if you think of a detail or something that I missed, please ask me. What can she do to save her marriage?