Friction baby.

June 15, 2009 12:42 PM

If my fiancée and I are trying to conceive, what type of lubrication should we use?

The wedding is less than a month away and she and I are trying to get a jump start on the process. One of the things I've learned is that lubrication can "gum up the works" so to speak, so I was wondering if there was a lubrication that was sperm friendly.

Google has not been a big help on this. Most of the results simply tell me "try to avoid using lubrication", but mechanically, that's just not an option (without going into the painful details). One message board suggested olive oil, but I can't help but think that's a stupid idea, nor can I get the image of Marlon Brando and a stick of butter out of my head.

So, either experiential or biological insight would be a big help.

posted by Bathtub Bobsled to health & fitness (23 comments total)

Fertility and TTC veterns will tell you: PreSeed. I'm so sorry about the name, but it it makes you feel better, you can buy it online very easily.
posted by DarlingBri at 12:47 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]

http://www.goaskalice.columbia.edu/2977.html

FWIW, when they were doing my post-vasectomy sperm analysis, pharmaceutical-grade mineral oil was the only allowed lubricant, and even then, "as little as possible".

Would it be possible to do some sort of masturbate-until-just-before-ejaculation-and-then-insert circus?
posted by trevyn at 12:49 PM on June 15

You also want to avoid commercially available water-based lubricants. According to the American Society for Reproductive Medicine, commercially available water-based lubricants, such as Astroglide, KY Jelly, and Touch may inhibit sperm motility by 60% to 100% within 60 minutes of incubation. Canola oil, however, did not have the same effect.

8 Ways to Boost Your Fertility - WebMd
posted by doorsfan at 12:50 PM on June 15

For your purposes, there are two types of over the counter lubrication, ones with spermicides and ones without them. I suggest using the latter.

Unless you'd like to perhaps deal with errant bacteria being placed in your nether regions, I'd use a over the counter lubricant because "food safe" does not mean "groin safe."

As long as her hormones are normal, (i.e. a significant time has passed since she's been on the pill, IUDs or other such birth control methods) follow her reproductive cycle.
posted by Nanukthedog at 12:52 PM on June 15

Preseed claims to be exactly this, but the science that suggests it's necessary seems extremely dubious (at least for couples who don't have fertility problems)

I've known a number of people who've gotten pregnant while using Astroglide and other typical lubes (as long as it isn't specifically a spermicidal lube)... so while au-natural may be better, don't believe everything you hear about gumming up the works -- especially if you hear it on the internet, and might include a link to buy a product that "solves" this "problem".
posted by toxic at 12:53 PM on June 15

Is saliva not effective enough? I'd think that would be sperm-friendly.
posted by palliser at 12:59 PM on June 15

Thank you DarlingBri, and everyone else.

Toxic, might I refer you to doorsfan's post?

Palliser, this link, outlines a study done in 1998 that found all lubricants had a toxic effect on sperm, the most toxic of which being *drum roll* saliva.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 1:03 PM on June 15

Whoa. Well, this changes my advice. Namely: don't worry about it, because some people get pregnant the first month they're off birth control while using the most sperm-toxic lubricant IN THE WORLD.

Twice.
posted by palliser at 1:07 PM on June 15 [2 favorites]

Would it be possible to do some sort of masturbate-until-just-before-ejaculation-and-then-insert circus?

The use of the word circus is preposterously misleading, as you and I know how much fun circuses are, and how "not fun" your suggested process would be.

Possible? Yes. Degrading? You damn well better believe it.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 1:07 PM on June 15 [2 favorites]

Sorry, I just realized my comment was unintentionally insensitive-- I meant don't worry about it yet, if you're just starting out and there's no reason to suspect a problem. Well aware that there are many people who have to worry about it.
posted by palliser at 1:14 PM on June 15

No offense taken, palliser. Don't worry about it.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 1:16 PM on June 15

There is anecdotal evidence that taking guaifenesin (normally used as a cough expectorant) may help thin and increase cervical mucus. No hard scientific evidence that this is truly effective, though.

Leaving aside the question of lube, though, I would say the best way for you and your partner to boost your chances at conception is to learn the Fertility Awareness Method to track her cycle, so that she can determine the days she has the best chances of conceiving (which, depending on several factors, is not necessarily the exactly halfway point between her periods). Taking Charge of Your Fertility is the go-to book on this score. (The author also recommends PreSeed for couples trying to conceive, BTW.)
posted by scody at 1:20 PM on June 15

While scody is exactly right, I think her advice is perhaps a bit premature. I mean, by all means, read TCOYF if you want; it's really very interesting. But trying to concieve with Fertility Awareness is probably more stressful than it need be at this stage - which should be more about exciting! And fun! And maybe less about thermometers! And charts! And timing!
posted by DarlingBri at 2:54 PM on June 15

Oh sure, I definitely think it should more about fun right now... I just think it's worth reading up on ahead of time to perhaps save any premature worries from creeping in if conception doesn't happen right away. The misconception (haha, I make joke) that women are always fertile right in the middle of their cycles can often make couples think they have an actual fertility problem if they don't conceive right away -- when in fact it can be a simple (and perfectly natural) matter of the woman happening to be someone who ovulates earlier or later in her cycle. A couple of cycles of charting can show the future Mrs. Bobsled pretty quickly if they should be making an extra point of having fun on Day 12 vs. Day 18, for example.
posted by scody at 3:05 PM on June 15

guh, last sentence got cut off: I totally agree that the Bobsleds should not feel any big pressure in terms of Timing Conception Just Right, though -- like "oh, it's Day 16 and I'm obviously fertile, so we have to have sex even though I have a cold and don't feel like it."
posted by scody at 3:11 PM on June 15

Well, with how things are going (oh dear, here comes TMI) right now, I don't think we'll have to worry about timing.

She REALLY is all about having a kid at this point, so we're working with a saturation bombing strategy. I doubt we'll miss the right day.

I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for putting the image/idea out there like that, but I was more worried that the discussion was going to veer into the conception calendar discussion.
posted by Bathtub Bobsled at 4:17 PM on June 15

Just thinking...it's weird if you are using something that's going to restrict mobility. I'm guessing that in general the strongest sperm is going to be the best sperm? But really, do you want to mess with that selection process? What if the good sperm is in the back but it gets caught in the lubricant?

I don't know what I'm talking about, obviously, but never heard that lubricants slowed down sperm. That's sort of selecting your sperm for you a bit.

Apropos of nothing, this radio lab episode about sperm was really fascinating.
posted by sully75 at 6:37 PM on June 15

I'm guessing that in general the strongest sperm is going to be the best sperm? But really, do you want to mess with that selection process? What if the good sperm is in the back but it gets caught in the lubricant?

But maybe the lubricant picks off the slow, lame ones -- like lions chasing gazelles on the savannah. So then you're left with the proto-ubermenschen. Lube up for the betterment of mankind!
posted by palliser at 7:00 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]

Basic primer: the texture of a woman's cervical fluid changes throughout her cycle. Generally speaking, it goes from being nonexistent to sticky to creamy to clear/slippery over the course of the cycle; the slippery fluid coincides with the point at which she is most fertile.

The reason this is relevant is because the clear/slippery cervical fluid actually helps facilitate conception by helping the sperm survive longer and thus swim further, which obviously maximizes the numbers of sperm that get past the cervix and have a go at fertilizing the egg. Microscopically, this cervical fluid has a fundamentally different texture than cervical fluid during the non-fertile phases. The clear/slippery cervical fluid is essentially the female equivalent of seminal fluid.

Cervical fluid during the non-fertile phase does not facilitate sperm movement and survival; its texture impedes sperm -- good and bad -- from movement and generally keeps it from living more than a day or two. Lubricants (like Astroglide) may appear to be the same as fertile cervical fluid at the gettin'-it-on level (that is, lubes are clear and slippery, just like cervical fluid during the fertile phase) but at the microscopic level, they in fact tend to kill sperm -- both good and bad.

Now, it's obviously not the case that it's impossible to get pregnant while using regular lube, but it's also not the case that using regular lube will actually "select" better sperm for conception. It just means you have fewer sperm in total getting past the cervix to say hello to the egg.
posted by scody at 7:12 PM on June 15 [1 favorite]

oops, left out half a sentence -- should have been: "but at the microscopic level, they [lubricants] in fact function more like non-fertile cervical fluid and tend to kill sperm".
posted by scody at 7:15 PM on June 15

Now, it's obviously not the case that it's impossible to get pregnant while using regular lube, but it's also not the case that using regular lube will actually "select" better sperm for conception.

I was completely, utterly joking -- lions, gazelles, etc. But the primer was great nonetheless, thanks!
posted by palliser at 7:45 PM on June 15

no worries, palliser, I got that you were joking -- sorry not to have made that clearer, as I actually laughed out loud at "lube up for the betterment of mankind!" -- but I didn't know whether sully75 was joking, or whether he thought that might actually make some sort of physiological sense, given his mention of "That's sort of selecting your sperm for you a bit."
posted by scody at 7:59 PM on June 15

I was actually sort of serious. From that radio lab episode, it sounds like there are all kinds of interactions between individual sperm, and it's far more of a team effort than I thought previously. (Tell me if I'm wrong).

Anyway, there's no I in Team. When that day comes, I want the whole team to swim together to the goal.
posted by sully75 at 3:00 AM on June 16