Crimes committed by Ferris Bueller during his Day off.

April 25, 2009 9:14 AM

Seeking list of crimes committed by Ferris Bueller during his Day off.

I would like a comprehensive list of each offense Ferris and his friends commit during the movie "Ferris Bueller's Day Off". Ideally, please list the offense (criminal trespass to vehicle, battery, etc.) and the category of crime if it was committed by an adult (eg, felony, Class A Misdemeanor, etc.) Illinois jurisdiction. Thank you very much.

posted by steinwald to media & arts (81 comments total)

Well, just to get the ball rolling...

At the restaurant, on the phone with the Maitre D' he says, "This is Sgt. Peterson, Chicago Police."

Violation of 720 ILCS 5/32-5.1: False Personation of a Peace Officer. A person who knowingly and falsely represents himself or herself to be a peace officer commits a Class 4 felony.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:39 AM on April 25, 2009

Add a couple of federal laws…

Odometer fraud (tampering): 49 U.S.C. § 32703(2)
Odometer fraud (conspiracy): 49 U.S.C. § 32703(4)
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:47 AM on April 25, 2009

Fantastic! keep it up!
posted by steinwald at 9:49 AM on April 25, 2009

Also, in the movie Ferris was a graduating Senior, while Sloan still had a year left. It is entirely possible Ferris could have been older than 18, which introduces more-than-a-few wrinkles like contributing to the delinquency of a minor (though no statutory rape, at least on-screen).
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:52 AM on April 25, 2009

I don't remember the movie well enough to count every single moving violation, but we can presume there's at least some speeding, right?
posted by box at 9:59 AM on April 25, 2009

720 ILCS 5/Art. 16D - 3 - computer tampering (when he changes his attendance record).
posted by limon at 10:17 AM on April 25, 2009

Truancy, small potatoes compared to Class 4 felony, but still.
Some trespassing as well
posted by edgeways at 10:25 AM on April 25, 2009

At the restaurant, on the phone with the Maitre D' he says, "This is Sgt. Peterson, Chicago Police."

I think it is Cameron, not Ferris, who impersonates the cop on the phone. The voice and accent sound the same as when Cameron pretends to be Sloan's father in the call to the principal.
posted by thinman at 10:41 AM on April 25, 2009 [7 favorites]

Stealing, destroying, altering, or secreting public record -- A.R.S. § 38-421
posted by puckish at 10:41 AM on April 25, 2009

I would like a comprehensive list of each offense Ferris and his friends commit

It seems that the asker doesn't just want Ferris' crimes, but Cameron's and Sloan's as well. I'm not sure whether the taking of Cameron's father's car can be considered stealing, but I suppose the father could press charges if he really wanted to. I mean, it wasn't their car and they didn't get permission to use it.
posted by Green With You at 11:10 AM on April 25, 2009

Trespassing - how many yards did he cut through as he was trying to race Jeannie (and his mom) home at the end?
posted by hangashore at 11:26 AM on April 25, 2009

... and edgeways beats me to it. Geez.
posted by hangashore at 11:28 AM on April 25, 2009

There are many cases of fraud in the movie. For example, when one kid is asked, "Do you know Ferris Bueller," he responds, "Yeah, he's getting me out of summer school."

How? Via computer, or just talking to the right person? Has Ferris already put a plan into action? Is Ferris getting paid to do this, either in cash or (more likely) a favor? Or is the kid merely deluded, in which case, is Ferris perpetrating a fraud against him?

Oh, and in theory, Cameron's father could go after both Ferris and Cameron for grand theft auto of the Ferrari.
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 11:58 AM on April 25, 2009

There's got to be some kind of disorderly conduct involved in stepping onto someone else's parade float, singing your own songs, and generally disrupting the planned program.

And I have to wonder, with all of the "Save Ferris" efforts, can he be prosecuted for fraud?
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:24 PM on April 25, 2009

what kind of beef can you get for impersonating the Sausage King of Chicago?
posted by timsteil at 1:29 PM on April 25, 2009 [13 favorites]

There's got to be some kind of disorderly conduct involved in stepping onto someone else's parade float, singing your own songs, and generally disrupting the planned program.

720 ILCS 5/26‑1 Minimum 30 hours' community service.

Lots of statutes and case law regarding fraudulent charities. IANAL.

Please tell me this question is for the most awesome law school term paper ever.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:36 PM on April 25, 2009 [2 favorites]

Excellent! Thanks for the statute cites, everybody!
I'm actually planning an attorney training event about how to handle juvenile criminal record expungement cases, so I need some adorable and sympathetic examples of teenage crime. After all, if Ferris (and his friends) had been successfully prosecuted for all the things they did it would have been such a tragedy.
posted by steinwald at 1:47 PM on April 25, 2009 [22 favorites]

Simply possessing certain breeds of dog can makes you liable by default, so is he on the hook for bodiliy injury by allowing his dog (is it a Rottweiler?) to attack Ed Rooney?

His sister Jean tries to pass herself off as "Shawna." Not sure if that counts, or how old she is.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 1:49 PM on April 25, 2009

Whose pool do they swim in? Not clear if they are at Ferris' house or Cameron's or Sloane's.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 1:50 PM on April 25, 2009

I'm not sure you could go after Ferris for fraud specifically for all the "Save Ferris" shenanigans, because they seem to happen spontaneously, without his knowledge, just because he's such a righteous dude. And, beyond the piles of flowers left for him, he doesn't receive any benefits (at least none that we see in the film).

When I mention fraud, I'm talking about things like misrepresenting himself as Abe Froman, and taking his reservation. Presumably, if the real Abe Froman had showed up (which we don't see in the film, so he may not have), he may have left the restaurant in a huff, resulting in the restaurant losing future business and business considerations from "the sausage king of Chicago."
posted by Cool Papa Bell at 3:02 PM on April 25, 2009

You should check out the movie "Superbad" as well. Lots of loveable violations in it as well.
posted by elle.jeezy at 4:01 PM on April 25, 2009

For examples with African Americans committing loveable crimes, try "House Party" and "Money Can't Buy Me Love".
posted by elle.jeezy at 4:19 PM on April 25, 2009 [1 favorite]

Of course Ferris's sister Jeanie gets arrested by the cops for making what they think is a prank phone call. That's how she winds up at the police station for her movie-stealing scene with Charlie Sheen.

There might also be a property or even environmental crime involved when Cameron smashes his dad's Ferrari out the back of the garage.

And Rooney thinks that Sloane and her "father" (ie, Ferris) are committing some sort of incest when he picks her up from school....). Alright, I think I went a bit too far, huh.
posted by DavidNYC at 5:11 PM on April 25, 2009

Assuming that Sloane is legally a minor and that Ferris is eighteen and thus a legal adult, wouldn't falsely signing her out of her school (who are acting in loco parentis) technically be considered kidnapping?
posted by Asparagirl at 8:32 PM on April 25, 2009

Considering how hard he egged Cameron into going, and that he also got Sloane to go along, he might also be guilty of contributing to the delinquency of a minor.

Frickin' awesome askmefi question!
posted by azpenguin at 10:45 PM on April 25, 2009

Yeah.
720 ILCS 130/2a, contributing to the delinquency of children. Class A misdemeanor.
posted by Plutor at 7:44 AM on April 26, 2009

My guess is that the computer related crimes were not yet law in 1986.
posted by anathema at 8:22 AM on April 26, 2009

Couple minor items - seems like the 2 guys at the garage who took the Ferrari for a joyride could be up for some breach of contract. Or some interaction with the parking garage. Also Rooney's admin, Grace - sniffing the white out seems like a drug violation.
One small point - with the car wrecked I'm not sure if they ever cracked open the odometer since running it in reverse wasn't working.
What a great question - I'm replaying the movie in my head!
posted by bhdad at 8:24 AM on April 26, 2009 [1 favorite]

He's jaywalking near the beginning of the chase home scene.
posted by DU at 9:04 AM on April 26, 2009 [2 favorites]

Ed Rooney's bona fide suspicion of incest between Sloane and her "dad" triggers his duty to notify authorities under the Illinois mandatory reporting law. His failure to do so is a Class A misdemeanor. (Poetic license: it looks like this law was not yet in effect in 1985).
posted by Saucy Intruder at 9:57 AM on April 26, 2009 [9 favorites]

As far as the whole float thing goes I think inciting a riot might hold ground. "Plea down to jaywalking Ferris".
posted by Kale Slayer at 11:08 AM on April 26, 2009

anathema wrote:
My guess is that the computer related crimes were not yet law in 1986.

You guess wrongly. The first federal law against computer trespass, amongst other things, was passed in 1984.
posted by wierdo at 11:08 AM on April 26, 2009

The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, 1984. But originally it only covered computers belonging to the US government or to financial institutions.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 11:30 AM on April 26, 2009

@wierdo:

The first may have been passed in 1984, but these specifically were likely not law in '86.
posted by Precision at 1:08 PM on April 26, 2009

The laws about unauthorized use of computers were substantially revised after the Morris Worm in 1988.
posted by Chocolate Pickle at 2:30 PM on April 26, 2009

The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act, 1984. But originally it only covered computers belonging to the US government or to financial institutions.

Yeah, that was a different Matthew Broderick vehicle. Ferris can't be held responsible for David Lightman's crimes.
posted by dammitjim at 4:52 PM on April 26, 2009 [17 favorites]

He's jaywalking near the beginning of the chase home scene.

He is? I thought he was crossing the street. Jaywalking, to my understanding, is crossing on a red, not crossing a street where there is no light--otherwise, we'd never be able to cross a street that didn't have a streetlight.

How about the car theft that the parking attendants (Richard Edson!) pull?
posted by You Should See the Other Guy at 7:43 PM on April 26, 2009

Could they have been drinking beer at Wrigley? I seem to remember them with clear cups full of amber fluid, but I can't find video of it.
posted by Rock Steady at 8:20 PM on April 26, 2009

When it comes to commandeering the float, I always got the feeling that he did that with the permission and participation of the float crew -- either he was friend with them, or just charmed his way into it. After all, they provided the music for both of his songs.
posted by scrowdid at 11:17 PM on April 26, 2009

Just a point of clarification - Sgt Peterson is Sloan's father (she's Sloan Peterson), hence Cameron using the same voice for both phone calls.

Fun question!
posted by goo at 1:06 AM on April 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

I can't help but think that the little old lady who can barely be seen above the steering wheel is committing some sort of moving violation involving driving with an obstructed view.

Also, did anyone mention Rooney's home invasion crime? He does, after all, enter the house illegally.
posted by Joey Michaels at 4:01 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Not to get grim, but at one time, suicide/attempted suicide was a crime in Illinois. In 1986? Not sure. However, it is a crime to induce someone to commit suicide.

Way to screw with Cameron's dad's car, Ferris.
posted by Durn Bronzefist at 6:17 AM on April 27, 2009 [2 favorites]

Might there have been a copyright violation for the public performance of Shake It Up Baby on the float? I can't imagine that he paid for the rights to sing it in public. However, this would probably just bring a civil suit with the very unlikely chance of criminal prosecution. Sadly, I'm too Canadian to effectively look up the appropriate USian laws...
posted by evadery at 7:21 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

Shake It Up Baby = Twist and Shout, obviously...
posted by evadery at 7:25 AM on April 27, 2009

If the float had the music ready for performance, though, presumably the company sponsoring the parade had paid for the rights.
posted by Karmakaze at 8:36 AM on April 27, 2009

Rooney feeds the dog some potentially noxious plant life, causing it to pass out, which is probably a crime.
posted by nitsuj at 9:37 AM on April 27, 2009

Or wait. Maybe he hit the dog over the head with the vase? Either way...
posted by nitsuj at 9:40 AM on April 27, 2009

Not sure about the laws at that time, but I don't think they wearing their seatbelts in the Ferrari and I think at one point Cameron even stands up.
posted by odragul at 10:43 AM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure the leopard-skin vest Ferris wears at one point is some sort of fashion crime.
posted by mikepop at 10:57 AM on April 27, 2009 [11 favorites]

In 1986? Not sure.

This is an interesting point, actually. I suspect that some stuff (like the seatbelts) was not a crime when the movie was made but is now illegal.
posted by anastasiav at 11:05 AM on April 27, 2009

"Heard that you were feeling ill, headaches, fever, and a chill. I've been sent to restore your pluck..cause I'm the nurse that likes to.. (door slam)"

The Save Ferris campaign might be liable for soliciting under the 740 ILCS 128 Predator Accountability Act.
posted by roofus at 12:13 PM on April 27, 2009 [3 favorites]

In the running home scene, Ferris not only cuts through people's yards, but their houses as well. He steals (!) a beer (!) from a barbecuing father, and proceeds to chug it as he runs.
posted by Sys Rq at 12:22 PM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

SAVE FERRIS painted on the water tower could be construed as a crime caused by Ferris
posted by seanaes at 12:48 PM on April 27, 2009

Don't forget speeding in a school zone ("hey Ferris, don't go so fast!")
posted by Lord Kinbote at 1:43 PM on April 27, 2009

Ferris's sister gets two tickets on the way home for speeding.

Ferris can be cited for driving with an unbelted passenger in the car (Cameron, under the convertible cover).

Don't forget Ed Rooney breaking and entering (or at least trespassing) into the Bueller residence.

The English department for solicitation (paying for 'the nurse who likes to ####'). (oops, looks like that one was already noted by roofus)

Theft for the gang running out on their tab at Chez Quis.

The girl playing video games who was approached by Rooney could be charged with assault for spitting her drink at him.

The two parking attendants were clearly speeding (closeup on the odometer cracking 90) on their joyride, in addition to reckless driving.

I can't wait for someone to compile this all into a nice list and post it somewhere.
posted by kfury at 3:35 PM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I don't know if any laws were broken, but it seems to me you're probably not allowed to stand on the railing and lean your head on the glass at the top of the Sears Tower. It sure doesn't seem safe.
posted by wabbittwax at 3:51 PM on April 27, 2009 [1 favorite]

I'm pretty sure the leopard-skin vest Ferris wears at one point is some sort of fashion crime.

Nah that was ok in '86. I think it became a crime on January 1st, 1990.
posted by mannequito at 5:03 PM on April 27, 2009 [4 favorites]

His sister Jean tries to pass herself off as "Shawna." Not sure if that counts, or how old she is.

Actually, her full character name is Shauna Jean (or at least that's what's suggested by the dialogue and the doo-wop song in the background), so no crime committed there:

Boy in Police Station: What's your name?
Jeannie: It's Jean, but most guys call me Shauna.
Boy in Police Station: Okay Jean.

Semi-related: A quick persual of the wiki page taught me that FBDO finished its opening weekend in second place, beaten by Back to School. How that much cinematic awesomeness could've been contained in one single weekend just about blows my mind.
posted by shiu mai baby at 7:28 AM on April 28, 2009

The English department for solicitation (The English department sends flowers, not the nurse)
Theft for the gang running out on their tab at Chez Quis (Where is the evidence for this? We don't see them "running out", only escaping detection by Mr Bueller)
posted by Lord Kinbote at 8:27 AM on April 28, 2009

I don't think there is a good basis for any odometer-related offense.

Ferris proposes, but Cameron rejects, messing with the odometer directly.

They do, on the other hand, run the car in reverse. Even if that attempt to roll the odometer back worked (it does not) -- and even if an attempt to commit the crime counted, such that the failure was irrelevant -- it is hard to see how that was "intending to change the
mileage registered by the odometer." It would be exploiting a (supposed) feature of the odometer, not tampering with it, no worse than driving a car around a block in reverse with a mind toward mitigating the effect of driving one lap forward.

The fault, dear Brutus, is in the cars, not in ourselves.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 9:30 AM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

"intending to change the mileage registered by the odometer"

driving a car around a block in reverse with a mind toward mitigating the effect of driving one lap forward

These two statements are equal.
posted by Sys Rq at 10:12 AM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

"intending to change the mileage registered by the odometer"

driving a car around a block in reverse with a mind toward mitigating the effect of driving one lap forward

These two statements are equal.

No. Driving in reverse is changing the input to the odometer, but not changing the mileage actually registered.

If the statements are equal, then it follows that driving the car forward around the block with an intention to put miles on it is a criminal offense. And had the original scheme worked, and had the car not been destroyed, Cameron's father would have been criminally liable if he had driven it an equivalent amount of miles in order to erase the temporary alteration.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 10:17 AM on April 28, 2009

Dude, they were doing it to erase evidence of a crime.
posted by Sys Rq at 11:00 AM on April 28, 2009

Sys Rq,

I am nothing if not vigorous in saving Ferris. You may have them on an attempted concealment crime -- if that is a crime -- but that depends on the existence of an underlying crime (I believe it would be some species of theft) OTHER THAN odometer tampering. They were not monkeying with the odometer in order in hide evidence of monkeying with the odometer. The effect of reducing mileage by running in reverse -- if it worked -- would be a feature of the odometer.

Again: The fault, dear Brutus, is in the cars, not in ourselves.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 12:59 PM on April 28, 2009

I don't know if any laws were broken, but it seems to me you're probably not allowed to stand on the railing and lean your head on the glass at the top of the Sears Tower. It sure doesn't seem safe.

You are, in fact, allowed to do this. At least--no one stopped a group of uniformed Boy Scouts from doing this in 1987. Though, if it is a crime, I'm happy to turn myself in.
posted by ColdChef at 6:12 PM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

I can't believe that no one has mentioned that if Ferris is indeed a youth, we all should be arrested for watching him take a shower.
posted by ColdChef at 6:13 PM on April 28, 2009 [3 favorites]

He is? I thought he was crossing the street. Jaywalking, to my understanding, is crossing on a red, not crossing a street where there is no light--otherwise, we'd never be able to cross a street that didn't have a streetlight.

Jaywalking is the term used to describe any time a pedestrian enters the roadway in a dangerous or careless manner. That includes:

- crossing the street outside or between intersections if the intersection is marked/signaled. (Not going to the corner to cross)
- Crossing at a signaled intersection without waiting for the appropriate indicator (crossing at a Don't Walk or on red)
- Crossing diagonally across a street or intersection
- Stopping on the median of a street
- Failing to yield to drivers in the roadway while crossing outside of a marked intersection (Pedestrians only have the right of way at a marked intersection or if they are already in the roadway.)
posted by aristan at 9:03 PM on April 28, 2009 [1 favorite]

Has no one mentioned truancy, somehow? True, it's a "status offense" more than an actual "crime," but that's true of the entire juvenile justice system, to an extent.
posted by Navelgazer at 9:41 PM on April 28, 2009

I can't believe that no one has mentioned that if Ferris is indeed a youth, we all should be arrested for watching him take a shower.

But I think if you acknowledge the movie/viewer aspect, you need to acknowledge that we're watching Broderick instead of Bueller. And he was, what, in his early fifties when this was made?
posted by mannequito at 2:27 AM on April 29, 2009 [3 favorites]

I can't believe that no one has mentioned that if Ferris is indeed a youth, we all should be arrested for watching him take a shower.

But I think if you acknowledge the movie/viewer aspect, you need to acknowledge that we're watching Broderick instead of Bueller. And he was, what, in his early fifties when this was made?

This is an excellent point. I'd add that to my knowledge, watching someone take a PG-13 shower is not a criminal offense. Many's the time I have sat and watched someone shower and thanked the dear Lord that my gaze was magically blocked from seeing their nethers -- or, in some cases, that when my eyes did involuntarily stray thataway, it appeared that their privates were composed of strange, but wholly benign, black boxes.

Next up: criminal offenses committed by the characters in Being John Malkovich.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 6:34 AM on April 29, 2009

but that depends on the existence of an underlying crime (I believe it would be some species of theft) OTHER THAN odometer tampering

The underlying crime which they were attempting to cover up by odometer fraud was the unauthorized use of a motor vehicle.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 9:31 AM on April 29, 2009

Removing hands from the steering wheel while on a highway can be considered reckless driving, right? Ferris was doing that to scare Cameron.
(625 ILCS 5/11‑503) (from Ch. 95 1/2, par. 11‑503)
Sec. 11‑503. Reckless driving; aggravated reckless driving.
Also, Cameron has no seatbelt and no actual seat when he is perched in the back of the car while they are driving.
posted by 8dot3 at 11:21 AM on April 29, 2009

I think that they sneak into the Art Museum with a group of school children, therefore getting in for free. That can't be legal.
posted by fyrebelley at 1:39 PM on April 29, 2009 [1 favorite]

A quick persual of the wiki page taught me that FBDO finished its opening weekend in second place, beaten by Back to School.

I did my part to save Ferris that weekend. I saw FBDO four times opening day.

(I also had a Massachusetts vanity plate that read NRVOUS while I lived there in the first half of this decade. Sadly, another fan has it in Colorado where I now live. Thinking of getting 4FBDO, but I'm not sure I want the license plate from Edward Rooney's car, especially since Jeffery Jones is now a registered sex offender. But I digress...)
posted by bpm140 at 7:50 PM on April 29, 2009

Late to the party, but Rooney's secretary was also shown sniffing her Wite Out.
posted by dancinglamb at 11:38 AM on April 30, 2009

Everyone keeps mentioning that Ferris may be of age and Sloan below it, and that being possibly criminal. But remember when Cameron was coming out of his little fugue state, Sloan asked if he was aware and watching while she was changing, and he smiles knowingly? Isn't looking at a nude (or nearly nude) minor illegal in many places?
posted by Xoder at 12:52 PM on April 30, 2009

You know, it seems to me that it's impossible for Ferris to be older than 18. Jeannie is his older sister, right? And she is also a senior in high school.

Now, presuming that neither of them were held back or jumped a grade, the only way they could both be seniors is if they were twins (which I think would have been mentioned) or born as close together as possible (Irish twins). Even so, the only way they would still end up in the same grade is if they were born on either side of the cutoff date: Jeannie just after, Ferris just before in the same year.

Many schools use the calendar year, which would put Jeannie in January-February and Ferris in November-December. Either way, a gorgeous spring day in his senior year would happen long before his 18th birthday. Same reasoning if the cutoff is around start of school year/Labor Day, which would still put his birthday in late summer.

I hereby declare Ferris not guilty of statutory rape, contributing to the delinquency of a minor, and any other laws which pertain only to legal adults.
posted by timepiece at 4:25 PM on April 30, 2009 [1 favorite]

Singing Danke Schoen in the shower is criminal, isn't it? As is inventing the "faux hawk" with soap bubbles.

In the running home scene, Ferris not only cuts through people's yards, but their houses as well.

Home invasion?
posted by bwg at 2:07 AM on May 1, 2009 [1 favorite]

it seems to me you're probably not allowed to stand on the railing and lean your head on the glass at the top of the Sears Tower

Coincidentally....
posted by dhartung at 11:47 PM on May 2, 2009

>"seems like the 2 guys at the garage who took the Ferrari for a joyride could be up for some breach of contract. Or some interaction with the parking garage."

[Apologies for the following, I have a final coming up and this is good practice.]

Breach of contract could work, but Cameron has a good looking cause of action for conversion against the garage. This can vary between states, but the kids' leaving the car with the garage very likely creates a bailment relationship.* In such a relationship, the bailee may only perform the duties the bailor has assigned to it. Bailees who go beyond these duties are strictly liable for conversion**. An enclosed garage with security personnel was held to have a bailment relationship with a customer who parked his car there in Allen v. Hyatt-Regency Hotel. The court here will have to determine (1) if there was a bailment and (2) if the attendants are liable for conversion. Allen was a Tennessee case, but IL courts are likely to see it that way, especially since our case looks even more bailment-like than Allen: Ferris had to hand the keys to the attendant, who was supposed to take it to a parking spot Ferris & co. wouldn't be able to see, when the garage in Allen was the kind where you park it yourself and take a ticket. The garage is only allowed to park the car under the relationship. When the attendants took a joyride, they went beyond their duties and took it for their personal use, which brings up a claim for conversion in Cameron.

There are other things that make this more complicated, e.g. the fact that it is Cameron's father's car and not his own or whether IL holds bailees strictly liable for conversion, but I'll try to avoid overstaying my welcome.

*a temporary grant of possession for the purpose of returning it later, performing a service, or delivery to someone else; like getting your shirts cleaned at a dry cleaners.

**Just pretend there's a citation here. I don't know IL caselaw at all.
posted by Grimp0teuthis at 6:02 PM on May 3, 2009

DavidNYC: "There might also be a property or even environmental crime involved when Cameron smashes his dad's Ferrari out the back of the garage."

If you'd like to act that scene out yourself -- and have a spare $2,300,000 -- the house is available.
posted by The corpse in the library at 8:18 AM on May 26, 2009