Help: My life is a rut but I feel too sad to get out
March 7, 2009 7:30 AM Subscribe
Lost my current life and all of my friends: how can I let go and move forward?
posted by Hina to Human Relations (31 answers total) 27 users marked this as a favorite
It all started last autumn, when my best friend returned from taking a break from school. I didn't mind much that she was spending less time with me. She was simply making new friends. Then she told me that she had abruptly broken up with her boyfriend to start dating... my long-time secret infatuation. Because I had never revealed this directly to anyone, I could not express the grief that I felt. They broke up abruptly though, concluding with my friend quitting school entirely. I was left very upset by this and have not seen both of them since.
I am 23; I recently changed my major so my school friends are all graduating this Spring, and are all currently in love, too busy with degree projects or their greater social lives to make time for hanging out.
Most recently, I found someone that I really wanted to get to know but he disappeared before I got up the courage to make the first conversation.
I try to think clearly and realize that I haven't one person I can confide with or spend time with regularly. People don't usually warm up to me, and because I had almost no friends for 5 years up until college, I am socially out-of-practice. These recent losses feel that much more momentous for me.
I was advised into take a semester off and quite frankly, it isn't relaxing at all, since I spend more time alone than ever. I'm compensating by taking extracurricular classes and attending public gatherings, but I pretty much encounter the same group of people from school or those outside of my age group. The experience of trying to find a job was a dismal one.
So recently, I have been taking bus trips out of town just to walk around and to think, or not think, because I end up crying sometimes. I feel unmotivated and I know that next semester will be challenging with me moving into a difficult living situation in a city I dislike, in a school I am taking forever graduating in with much younger peers. In the back of my mind, I feel inclined to take off and start my life over somewhere far away, so that I won't be constantly reminded of this place and the people I loved and have lost.
What should I do?