Afraid of being fired: how do I keep the fear from crippling me?
January 20, 2014 7:54 AM Subscribe
I have crippling, perhaps justified fear of being fired. My fear is making my performance suffer, causing me misery and probably making firing more likely. How do I stop thinking like this?
posted by Marered to Work & Money (21 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
My workplace, a formerly pleasant place with leadership I really respected, has gone downhill in the last year. Really bad stuff is coming down the pike. I've been here for several years. My boss of about a year is young, inexperienced, and in over her head. I have tried to support her in her new role, but our working relationship has deteriorated. My coworkers in our department are universally miserable and are looking to leave asap. I am job hunting too.
I feel like I have some cause to fear firing. Despite positive performance reviews, I have started to receive several written warnings about my performance (mostly for coming unprepared to meetings). Requests for vacation have been turned down.
I have been fired once before and it triggered a major depressive episode, and I relive that firing often, on a loop. I know we would probably be fine financially as long as my husband is gainfully employed. While I provide our health insurance, I think we can afford COBRA without too much pain, and can investigate Obamacare. I'm more afraid of the psychological/career ramifications.
Maybe I'm right and they are planning on terminating my employment but I also know that dwelling on it is making me really miserable and has turned a challenging and stressful situation into a daily panic attack situation. I know all the right things to do, but they don't seem to be helping.
There are many great things in my life: a loving spouse who has a great job, challenging/engaging hobbies, a strong, caring network of friends and family. I am really big on taking care of myself: eating well, good workout routine, sleeping enough, seeing a therapist. I am on medication for Bipolar 2, and have xanax for panic attacks.
I know I'm getting good advice from my therapist, friends and loved ones, I just can't seem to implement it.