What's it like to be a psychotherapist?
March 3, 2009 11:16 AM Subscribe
What is it like to be a psychotherapist? Sometimes I think about becoming one. What are the good and bad things about it? What character/personality traits should a therapist have?
I'm on an ever-elusive quest to find a career I enjoy. I've cycled through several ideas over the years, and one of them is the idea of becoming a psychotherapist. I'm interested in what makes people tick, and I believe I'm compassionate and empathetic, and the idea of going to work every day knowing that I'm helping people is appealing.
I have lots of experience being a psychotherapy patient, so I know what things are like from that side, but not so much from the other side.
Some questions I have are:
* What are the good and bad things about being a therapist?
* What traits are essential in a good therapist?
* How many patients do you typically see per week?
* Is it all about seeing patients, or do you do other things with your work time?
* What are the salaries like?
Also, as someone who tends to be very cautious and self-defeating when it comes to career choices, I tend to think of the things that worry me about being a therapist. Some of the worries are:
* What if you don't like a patient?
* What if your mind wanders during a session and you drift off?
* What if you have a patient who's extremely neurotic and continually calls you in the middle of the night?
* What if you have to deal with someone who's suicidal?
* What if you feel attracted to a patient?
* Do you get bored just listening to people all day?
* How do you remember all the details of the various people you see? If someone talks about "Joe," how do you remember who Joe is?
Do they teach you about all these things when you're studying to become a therapist?
I'd also be interested in knowing what makes a therapist different from a counselor or coach. I get a sense that the latter two careers might be less emotionally intense than being a therapist.
Anyway, I'm just exploring right now and trying to gather information. Thanks!
I'm on an ever-elusive quest to find a career I enjoy. I've cycled through several ideas over the years, and one of them is the idea of becoming a psychotherapist. I'm interested in what makes people tick, and I believe I'm compassionate and empathetic, and the idea of going to work every day knowing that I'm helping people is appealing.
I have lots of experience being a psychotherapy patient, so I know what things are like from that side, but not so much from the other side.
Some questions I have are:
* What are the good and bad things about being a therapist?
* What traits are essential in a good therapist?
* How many patients do you typically see per week?
* Is it all about seeing patients, or do you do other things with your work time?
* What are the salaries like?
Also, as someone who tends to be very cautious and self-defeating when it comes to career choices, I tend to think of the things that worry me about being a therapist. Some of the worries are:
* What if you don't like a patient?
* What if your mind wanders during a session and you drift off?
* What if you have a patient who's extremely neurotic and continually calls you in the middle of the night?
* What if you have to deal with someone who's suicidal?
* What if you feel attracted to a patient?
* Do you get bored just listening to people all day?
* How do you remember all the details of the various people you see? If someone talks about "Joe," how do you remember who Joe is?
Do they teach you about all these things when you're studying to become a therapist?
I'd also be interested in knowing what makes a therapist different from a counselor or coach. I get a sense that the latter two careers might be less emotionally intense than being a therapist.
Anyway, I'm just exploring right now and trying to gather information. Thanks!
Best answer: Read anything by Irvin Yalom. His primary interest is group psychotherapy, but also has an individual therapy practice. He has a couple of novels and a few books consisting of case studies. Suitable for layperson or someone with more knowledge of the subject.
He believes a therapist must strike a balance between the 'therapist' and 'being my authentic self' roles; he's honest about the struggles he has had throughout his career, and the ones many therapists will face throughout.
I'd suggest starting with The Gift Of Therapy; it is written a little more towards the relationship of a therapist to a patient and I think will provide what you are looking for.
posted by variella at 12:42 PM on March 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
He believes a therapist must strike a balance between the 'therapist' and 'being my authentic self' roles; he's honest about the struggles he has had throughout his career, and the ones many therapists will face throughout.
I'd suggest starting with The Gift Of Therapy; it is written a little more towards the relationship of a therapist to a patient and I think will provide what you are looking for.
posted by variella at 12:42 PM on March 3, 2009 [1 favorite]
Heh... Do not read Irvin Yalom. His primary interest is sex and lust between therapist and patient. My experience as a clinical psych grad student is insufficient to handle the scope of this question, but being in the position of trustworthiness, when people are immediately willing to disclose their deepest thoughts, emotions, fears and secrets, is incredible. I'm thankful for it every day.
posted by namesarehard at 1:32 PM on March 3, 2009
posted by namesarehard at 1:32 PM on March 3, 2009
Now I wonder if they have to live under some kind of code where they aren't allowed to answer questions like this on Ask Metafilter, or are they just too busy to?
posted by Kirklander at 6:29 PM on March 3, 2009
posted by Kirklander at 6:29 PM on March 3, 2009
It's possible there are too many questions, or this was posted when every Mefi therapist was in session? It's odd that this question had so many favorites but so few answers.
posted by sweetkid at 6:45 PM on March 3, 2009
posted by sweetkid at 6:45 PM on March 3, 2009
That's what I was wondering, were the MeFi therapists all counseling people during the hours this was posted?
posted by Kirklander at 9:06 PM on March 3, 2009
posted by Kirklander at 9:06 PM on March 3, 2009
Response by poster: Maybe there are no therapists who read AskMeFi? Or maybe nobody wants to give the secrets away because they're afraid their patients might be reading and will figure out who they are. I may just have to read Yalom's book (I think I've actually read a different one of his before) or ask my own therapist.
posted by Tin Man at 7:22 AM on March 4, 2009
posted by Tin Man at 7:22 AM on March 4, 2009
Hm. IANAT, but I've asked mine some of these questions. And apparently no experts are chiming in, so I may be the best you can do here.
* What if you don't like a patient?
If the patient drives you nuts, you stop seeing them as a patient, or don't take them on in the first place. You're not obligated to take everyone.
* What if you have a patient who's extremely neurotic and continually calls you in the middle of the night?
My shrink has voice mail for this. She doesn't answer that phone line, but you can leave as long of a message as you like and she checks it "frequently." (Don't ask me how frequent, seems to depend on how busy she is.) If you need her to call back, she wants you to mention that early on in the call or if it's just "listen to my rant." She told me there's one guy who calls it to rant 3-4 times a day, but it's better that he rant to voice mail than otherwise. I don't think she checks it in the middle of the night. She does NOT hand out her personal phone number.
* What if you have to deal with someone who's suicidal?
Go to emergency services.
* What if you feel attracted to a patient?
You can't date them. I think the rules say you would have to stop seeing them as a patient and then not see them at all whatsoever for a couple of years before you date them...which seems to me like it would kill all attraction anyway. But in general, HUGE no-no.
* How do you remember all the details of the various people you see? If someone talks about "Joe," how do you remember who Joe is?
Same way anybody else remembers the people their friends talk about- you partially remember and ask for a reminder when you don't recall who Joe is.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:01 PM on March 4, 2009
* What if you don't like a patient?
If the patient drives you nuts, you stop seeing them as a patient, or don't take them on in the first place. You're not obligated to take everyone.
* What if you have a patient who's extremely neurotic and continually calls you in the middle of the night?
My shrink has voice mail for this. She doesn't answer that phone line, but you can leave as long of a message as you like and she checks it "frequently." (Don't ask me how frequent, seems to depend on how busy she is.) If you need her to call back, she wants you to mention that early on in the call or if it's just "listen to my rant." She told me there's one guy who calls it to rant 3-4 times a day, but it's better that he rant to voice mail than otherwise. I don't think she checks it in the middle of the night. She does NOT hand out her personal phone number.
* What if you have to deal with someone who's suicidal?
Go to emergency services.
* What if you feel attracted to a patient?
You can't date them. I think the rules say you would have to stop seeing them as a patient and then not see them at all whatsoever for a couple of years before you date them...which seems to me like it would kill all attraction anyway. But in general, HUGE no-no.
* How do you remember all the details of the various people you see? If someone talks about "Joe," how do you remember who Joe is?
Same way anybody else remembers the people their friends talk about- you partially remember and ask for a reminder when you don't recall who Joe is.
posted by jenfullmoon at 12:01 PM on March 4, 2009
Best answer: If anyone's still checking out this thread, I found a couple of relevant books that I'm planning to read:
On Being a Therapist by Jeffrey A. Kottler
Becoming a Therapist: What Do I Say, and Why? by Suzanne Bender and Edward Messner
posted by Tin Man at 11:28 AM on March 10, 2009
On Being a Therapist by Jeffrey A. Kottler
Becoming a Therapist: What Do I Say, and Why? by Suzanne Bender and Edward Messner
posted by Tin Man at 11:28 AM on March 10, 2009
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sweetkid at 11:45 AM on March 3, 2009