What walks like a duck and quacks like a duck yet may not be a duck dealing drugs out of his house?

January 23, 2009 11:16 AM

What walks like a duck and quacks like a duck yet may not be a duck dealing drugs out of his house?

I'm certain my next door neighbor is dealing drugs out of his house. Yay! I think I'm taking all the appropriate actions, though. But, what if I'm wrong? What else can inspire random people to go to a house any hour of the day and night and stay for only twenty minutes or so and leave? Could my neighbor be so fabulously charismatic yet terse in his relationships? I'm not looking for advice or confirmation of my situation. I know what is going on. For a moment I would like to be Mr. Roper, though, and for this to be just a big misunderstanding.

posted by anonymous to human relations (23 comments total)

Maybe he's a prostitute.
posted by box at 11:23 AM on January 23 [2 favorites has favorites]

Perhaps a fortune teller or psychic? Maybe he does body piercing in home? These are both things I often see open late night in strip malls & the like.
posted by kellyblah at 11:30 AM on January 23

A prfessional dominant? A friend had a neighbor who had a dungeon in her spare room for clients, though 20 minutes may be speedy for that sort of thing.
posted by pointystick at 11:33 AM on January 23

The people coming out looking all happy might have just gotten a really good massage. You know, the therapy kind. Or maybe the prostitution kind. But probably the therapy kind.
posted by mudpuppie at 11:36 AM on January 23

I meet at my friend's house every week for a 30 minute personal training section.

It could be anything, so basically seconding gnutron.
posted by drjimmy11 at 11:37 AM on January 23

My dad teaches music lessons out of the house. People coming over all times of the day (and night) carrying strange cases and leaving after half an hour sounds like an accurate description of what goes on. Assume nothing.
posted by internet!Hannah at 11:41 AM on January 23

Yeah, it seems like there are LOT of non-sketchy options here. Maybe he's a tailor--my tailor sees clients in his home, and when I visit him I stay for about 20 minutes, and leave. Maybe your neighbor has a business where he buys old cellphones on ebay, refurbs them, then sells them on Craigslist. Maybe he's fixing jewelry. Maybe he does reiki. Maybe he takes professional headshots for wannabe actors. Maybe he sells homemade dog sweaters on Etsy and local folks come to pick them up at his house. I'm with gnutron--unless you actually see legit proof, it's not fair to assume.
posted by ethorson at 11:43 AM on January 23

You should probably watch the 30 Rock episode where Liz Lemmon thinks her neighbors are training to be terrorists, so she rats on them to Homeland Security, but then it turns out their obstacle course training was for a video resume to send in for the Amazing Race. Whoops! It turns out that its kind of awkward dealing with a neighbor after you've incorrectly narced on them, what with you feeling guilty and them feeling pretty angry.

With stuff like this, the best option really is better safe than sorry - which is why our legal system is based around the idea of reasonable doubt. Right now you have reasonable doubt, so let a sleeping dog lie. Besides, if you told a cop what you told us, I'm not sure they could get a warrant because it is, technically, still legal to have guests in your house in America.
posted by Kiablokirk at 11:50 AM on January 23 [1 favorite has favorites]

My dad teaches music lessons out of the house. People coming over all times of the day (and night) carrying strange cases and leaving after half an hour sounds like an accurate description of what goes on. Assume nothing.

Yes, this can seem even more suspicious if there are no cases being carried or strange sounds emitting from the house. I've never thought of the possibility that music theory or music composition teaching could be confused for drug-dealing, yet here we are.
posted by ob at 11:53 AM on January 23

[a few comments removed - take it to metatalk if you'd like to gripe about the question, thanks]
posted by jessamyn at 11:54 AM on January 23

My parents had a neighbour who sold grey-market satellite tv service. People would come by at all hours, block my parents' driveway because they were only staying a few minutes (yes, but if there's a steady stream of people staying a few minutes, the driveway is always blocked!), go to the door, clearly engage in some exchange and leave.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 11:56 AM on January 23

I've been putting off creating an account for a while now, but thought I'd chime in on this one and say that I think you should let your neighbor continue conducting their business--whatever it is--without interference. If he/she is impacting your life negatively the appropriate action would be an attempt to discuss a reasonable solution with him before taking any legal action. That would be the neighborly thing to do. And that's what this is all about, right? Being neighborly?

Also, @Kiablokirk, I think you've confused 'reasonable doubt' with 'probable cause.' Neither of which apply to the situation unless our poster here is a jury member or a police officer. Probable cause as I understand it does not justify civilians taking actions against others.
posted by Gainesvillain at 11:58 AM on January 23

Isn't 20 minutes kinda a long time for drug deal? I mean you don't want to hang around chatting when you're doing something illegal.

Unless they are actually getting a hit of something - like a steroid injection or a stop-smoking therapy session or acupuncture.

To help you get though this consider doing some, all or none of the following:
- time each visit. If each visitor really does stay for the same duration, it's something else.
- record the visit times. Maybe there is a pattern and you just think it's random and anytime.
- record the car's tags. Maybe it's the some 15 people coming back at the same time each x days.

Do this for a long time to establish patterns.
And then keep or don't keep your data accordingly.

OR

Go and ask them?
posted by Xhris at 1:39 PM on January 23

Could be craigslisting a bunch of stuff.
posted by jabberjaw at 1:54 PM on January 23

Actually Xhris, staying for twenty minutes isn't unusual for dealing drugs. A little chit chat, and social visit. I know this clearly from the movies, obvs.
posted by Gor-ella at 2:29 PM on January 23

Just call the cops and tell them that they are dealing drugs next door. Most likely cops won't do anything, but if they do and come by then it will be sorted out quickly. Cops won't tell it was you.
posted by zeikka at 2:35 PM on January 23

Just call the cops and tell them that they are dealing drugs next door. Most likely cops won't do anything, but if they do and come by then it will be sorted out quickly.

If you're going to go this route, you might as well tell them that they're committing ritual sacrifices of kidnapped children on the kitchen table. It'll get them out there a lot faster.

(Put another way, this is horrible advice. Don't call the cops and *tell* them anything you're not sure of. If you really are considering getting cops involved, call them and *ask* them for advice. Explain that you really aren't sure what's going on, but that you're suspicious. But mostly, stay out of it. There are lots of explanations that are equally plausible, as you can see above. And if it's not affecting your health or safety, you're being a nosy jerk by calling the cops.)
posted by mudpuppie at 2:46 PM on January 23

Call the cops, tell them what you know and what you only suspect - and make a clear distinction between the two. I had the same situation with a neighbor when living in an apartment. I first approached the landlord, who lived next door. They were concerned as well, and I offered to speak to the local police chief (small town, we knew each other). When I did, it turned out they were already watching the place on that very suspicion. (The chief also accepted my offer to help by recording license plate numbers.)

To those who say stay out of it, it's none of your business if it doesn't affect you - drug dealing is often associated with other criminal activities, violence, etc. I don't want that next door to me; and I wouldn't recommend to anyone else to wait until it comes across the fence, any more than I would wait until there was a drive-by or something of mine was stolen or damaged.
posted by attercoppe at 3:07 PM on January 23

nthing craigslist - that is what is going on at my house.
my other neighbor runs a contracting company out of her house. it isn't advertised, people come by all the time, block my driveway, and collect their paychecks.
i have a friend who is a seamstress, girls come by and pick things up and/or model for her all the time.
posted by Acer_saccharum at 3:48 PM on January 23

Very fast or cut-rate psychotherapy? Many people can't afford $100 an hour.

Do a reverse White Pages lookup using your neighbor's address and if he is listed as a service provider you may find him. Many professionals are perfectly legit but do not advertise.
posted by bad grammar at 5:25 PM on January 23

When I was just out of college and had my own apartment for the first time, I had friends visiting me *constantly*. I gave every person I knew from out of town carte blanche to crash at my place and in New York City that means you get a lot of people. I was putting up indie rock bands on the circuit. I did not have predictable hours. I came and went multiple times a day and night because of all of the activities I was involved in and all the jobs I was holding at the time. My best friend was a student at Columbia and she had a key because she worked downtown and it was easier a lot of the time to crash at my place than go back to the dorm.

The preppy girl next door to me decided that i was a hooker and I was turning tricks out of my apartment, and letting other girls use my place for sex-for-money. In her mind, everything I did justified it - the quantity of people coming and going, inconsistent times leaving and coming back, my late hours, my "odd dress" (it was the 80s and there was punk rock). She called the cops, she called my landlord, and *she told everyone in the neighborhood* about it first.

I had to move. Even though when the cops came over and knocked on my door, they started laughing after talking to me for three minutes, and told the nosy parker next door (who was of course almost falling through her peephole) that nothing illegal was going on in my apartment.
But she told everyone I was a hooker, including the guys at the freaking bodega, so now my pink hair and short skirts and fishnets said something else to them, and it became dangerously uncomfortable.

I guess I'm wondering how this actually impacts your quality of life or your right to quiet enjoyment of your property. I would have some sympathy if that was the case. Right now you're just a nosy parker who's going to cause your neighbor to go through a lot of heartache and inconvenience.

I have lived near drug dealers. I have friends who had a crack dealer move in across the street from them, to a very quiet neighborhood in the Midwest. In all of those cases, it wasn't quiet coming and going. The people were not always discreet, people were double-parking, a pet got hit, someone's girlfriend got propositioned as she was walking home - shit actually happened. I'm not saying that it's not your business. Just that there has to be more to it than "people coming at all hours of the day and night".
posted by micawber at 6:23 PM on January 23 [1 favorite has favorites]

Why does my neighbor have so many guests?
posted by peggynature at 7:00 PM on January 23

In my town, drug dealers generally meet their customers in a parking lot and the transaction takes less than five minutes, except for when it's marijuana and they are selling it to their friends. In that case, you might go to a friend of a friend's house, buy a bag, smoke a joint, and leave, which often turns into hanging out, listening to music, and giggling for an hour or so.

It's either that or your neighbor is providing some other kind of service, or maybe is selling some of his stuff and having people come over to look at it. I very much doubt that it's hard drugs. However, pot is illegal, and if that's what it is you're within your rights to report him. But I think you need a bit more certainty before you do.
posted by xenophile at 9:29 AM on January 26