How can I stop feeling resentment toward my ex?
December 26, 2008 6:22 AM Subscribe
I'm troubled by unresolved ex issues. How can I move on from these feelings of resentment?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (32 answers total) 7 users marked this as a favorite
My ex and I broke up over a year ago, and I still feel angry because of things I never got to say. I put up with a lot in the relationship and got very little, and the breakup was sudden when I woke up and realized I was wasting my time. It was liberating for me, but maybe traumatic for my ex. I hardly grieved over the relationship, but my ex clung to what was for a long time, to the point where I felt I was being harassed and cut off all communication.
Now that I have had all this time to think about the situation, I realize I'm still resentful and angry because I never got to express to my ex exactly what I had been unhappy about for so long: my ex's serious faults, and how neglected and lonely I felt in the relationship.
I want to pour this all out to my ex in an attempt to share what my perspective was at the time. But I also remember how hard it seemed to be for my ex to let go, and the great effort I went to in breaking all communication between us. I feel that re-establishing contact might set my ex off again, and create the impression that I want to talk it out, start up a friendship again, etc.
I really just want to tell my ex off like I never had the chance to do. But, this doesn't seem wise. I would like to resolve some of the feelings I am having... how can I do this?