Body Image... Ugh.
December 8, 2008 1:50 PM Subscribe
Tips for improving persistently miserable body image? Warning: emo.
posted by Ambrosia Voyeur to health & fitness (56 answers total) 54 users marked this as a favorite
This is sort of hard to write and explain.
I have, overall, GREAT self-esteem. I accomplish things in a fashion I can be proud of, mostly, I have healthy relationships, etc. I've been in therapy on and off several times, and I feel highly self-actualized. I mostly can control how I feel about myself. I am all successfully post-CBT for generalized anxiety, could that work for body image too?
BUT my body image just always makes me miserable unless I'm like, actively defeating the thing about it that bothers me (my weight). Unless I'm dropping a pound a week, I am in a state of "don't think about it you're fabulous don't think about it you're fabulous don't think about it OH GOD SOB SOB SOB."
There has never been a time when I didn't feel like my body was the worst problem in my life. I remember being called fatso in the schoolyard at preschool, in fact. I always fear that my weight is the source of unseen social judgments. Of course, there has been plenty of input from the outside world to confirm that yes, I am overweight but nothing unusually cruel. Really, I probably shouldn't think that this is constantly threatening to make me a pariah and prove me unlovable, despite all evidence to the contrary, but I do. These fears remain. And I'm almost thirty. The weakness of it makes me kind of sick.
I want, more than an anything, to show how powerful and capable I am by being in charge of this, by having that determination and control to either FIX the weight or FIX my head, but so far, I am not, not to my satisfaction. I feel like a failure for not being able to, and I have to SEE this failure on me as fat that I think makes me LOOK like a loser. Do I see other overweight people as losers? No, not really. But I think a lot of people do. I seriously have been thinking that it's making a bad impression on my new grad school classmates, for example. I dunno, that's probably crazy.
So, I'm not asking for tips on staying on a good diet. I'm asking for tips on fighting this fear and self-hate that has had me in tears now and then, and not infrequently, for over 20 years. My mother still hates her body, too. I don't want to do this forever. I don't want to stay on the rollercoaster. I would like to stabilize my body image, and accept my body as it is. HELP!!
I've been to Weight Watchers, they don't really address the body image.
I've been in therapy and not really addressed body image, what work could be done there for this? I can't imagine.