Sex on drugs

November 24, 2008 5:23 AM

What are your experiences having sex on drugs?

I'm curious about any experiences you all may have had having sex, well, on drugs. Mostly I'm curious about the subjective psychological effects it had on your emotions/sensations/etc. -- what did it feel like?

For instance, I've had sex stoned, and while it certainly augmented my physical sensations, it also made me feel a lot more spacey and less emotionally involved in the act. And it made me feel a little anxious and guilty when I realized I'd been off in la-la land.

This page is kind of in the vein of what I'm looking for, but it's pretty worthless. I'm much more interested in descriptions of the subjective experience than the physiological explanation.

Disclaimer: I have no plans to engage in the illegal or dangerous use of controlled substances, which is why I'm curious to hear other people's stories. I'd be interested to hear about pharmaceutical as well as, uh, other substances.

posted by DLWM to grab bag (16 comments total)

It may be difficult to get a non-clinical answer since most people I know/knew (including myself) were usually under the influence of more than one drug, including alcohol, during sex. For me, sex was a complete waste of time when drunk or high. My sense of excitement was still very, very strong but physically I was not there. At at least it felt like it. I was numb from the neck down and found it extremely difficult to perform or carry out the things my head wanted to. There was a lot of fumbling around and grunting but I can honestly say that there was never ever a "payoff." It was always quite frustrating.

Thats why I'm grateful to A.A. ;)
posted by KevinSkomsvold at 5:48 AM on November 24, 2008

Sex on crystal meth, cocaine or any stimulant really is, quite frankly, amazing (and can go on all day in the case of the former)
posted by dydecker at 5:59 AM on November 24, 2008

Sex on shrooms is pretty great because I feel more sensual. I felt a stronger emotional connection to my partner. Heck, just thinking about sex while on shrooms is awesome.
posted by saucysault at 6:08 AM on November 24, 2008

OTOH sex on ecstasy isn't happening at all. Suddenly it becomes more interesting to cuddle
posted by dydecker at 6:17 AM on November 24, 2008

is, quite frankly, amazing

that depends on the person. let's take cocaine as an example: some can go through frozen ground with their members and others can't get anything going at all, much like a severely drunk person isn't very capable in bed. some find the ability to maintain a state close to climax appealing, others find that it can get difficult to actually 'get it over with' frustrating and excruciating. similar arguments can be made for sweating and dizziness. one person's ecstatic joy is another one's torment. I never made up my mind on where I stand on this issue because quite frankly I realized I liked that stuff too much to be able to consume it without falling for it.

I tried to have sex on acid in college and while it was a very pleasing experience I rather doubt we got anywhere beyond exploring every last micrometre of our bodies for hours. not that I really recall all that many details.
posted by krautland at 6:18 AM on November 24, 2008

For instance, I've had sex stoned, and while it certainly augmented my physical sensations, it also made me feel a lot more spacey and less emotionally involved in the act. And it made me feel a little anxious and guilty when I realized I'd been off in la-la land.

This is an example of how subjective these things are. I've had sex while very high and thought that my orgasms were stars going supernova. That is to say, it was really, really awesome.
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 6:25 AM on November 24, 2008

Try Erowid
posted by daksya at 6:28 AM on November 24, 2008

Sex on cocaine didn't work at all for me...
posted by bonobothegreat at 6:50 AM on November 24, 2008

2nding Erowid. The link that daksya provided above is what you're looking for specifically, but the site in general contains a wealth of information about drugs, and the 'Experience Vault' can be quite informative/entertaining, whether sex-related or otherwise.
posted by mistikle at 6:56 AM on November 24, 2008

Of all the drugs you'd think would be custom-engineered for mega-bonding sex, it'd be Ecstasy, but as dydecker notes, it is far more of a love drug than a sex drug. MDMA pretty much perma-kills erections (except perhaps in very light doses), and doesn't even really set the stage emotionally for passionate exchanges of the kind you'd associate with hot sex. The touching, stroking, etc., is pretty fucking astronomical, and it feels like you're fulfilling a universe-ordained function with that particular person at that very moment, but it has nothing to do with sex, and more to do with "OMG, I've never connected with someone so deeply before." You may say "I love you" for six hours straight, and you'll have a fabulous time getting there, but good luck taking it to the next level.

I enjoyed the physical sensation of sex on 'shrooms, for sure, but as KevinS also notes, I didn't feel like I was 100% there. I felt like I was driving a body having a really hot experience, but I couldn't totally inhabit it. And, unlike E, I felt more ... selfish, perhaps? It was more about my body craving the sensation rather than bonding with the person involved - just another thing to try while I was high to see what it felt like.

(Data point 1: I wasn't actually partnered with or emotionally attached to this person.)
(Data point 2: I've since given up drugs.)
posted by mykescipark at 7:06 AM on November 24, 2008

Sex on LSD is very strange. It's been at least 12 years - WOW - with both a long term GF and flings. Very distracted... I would be performing downtown and just stop and space out on the KILLER walls patterns or not realize that I was sucking her nipple to the point of pain! With the LTG, I remember pretending that I was dead for some reason, just allowing her to crawl all over me, doing her thang (she was tripping balls as well), leaving a number of vicious hickeys that my family freaked out over for the next month (I was "dead"(no, I didn't tell her that I was dead) so she just sucked and sucked and sucked while I lay prostrate - it was brutal to look at my neck).

Sex on ecstasy is, like said above, more likely to happen when you're coming down. While high, it's just fucking awesome to hold hands. BUT - the sex on the way down is amazing. Ecstasy helps to get rid of stupid inhibitions/hangups and it's just crazy fun. Some of the best sex I've had has been because of ecstasy, and some of the best non-sex has been because of it, too.

Sex on coke/meth is good, but the drug themselves are shit. It's sweaty, fast, dirty and plentiful. It can be difficult to get it up when you're full blown... I had a friend that always liked to get high with me because I COULD get it going (unlike her BF/booty calls), and she just wanted to fuck all night.

Sex on weed is nothing special to me. Outside of the normal "making everything better because it seems cooler" effect, that is.

Never had sex on heroin, though I've tried smoking the drug. Not cool. Stay away. The appeal is strong.
posted by dozo at 7:40 AM on November 24, 2008

Had a girlfriend who was a recovering addict. She said she was never able to come while on coke, but after she sobered up, she would spontaneously go flying over the edge of the HappyWetJoyCliff, almost without warning (nor provocation!). It kinda sounded like her body/brain was storing up the energy...

Now, she's on other, prescribed meds (SSRIs), which are known to have a side-effect of inhibiting orgasm... and they do for her, alas. But for her, the positive effects are worth it.

FWIW. Obviously, developing a coke habit isn't the brightest path to sexual experimentation.
posted by IAmBroom at 7:42 AM on November 24, 2008

The very nature of drug experiences makes them extremely personal - there are already statements in the above comments that I disagree with entirely, based on my own subjective experience.

Sex is easily my favourite objective for drug use. There are few environments that I find more conducive to a positive drug experience than a bedroom (or beautiful open space) and a sexual partner. Opportunities for physical sensations are opened up as well as the possibility for spiritual / emotional bonding and intimate conversation.

GBL, the precursor to GHB, is my favourite recent sex-drug discovery. Probably most famous as the drug that George Michael was doing before he got caught with crack. Note that GBL is physically addictive and I have met one person who did become addicted. It is a solvent that you drop into drink in a liquid form - a drop or two (measured properly with a pipette) in a glass of juice barely tastes of anything. Onset is about ten minutes. Psychologically it a very strong disinhibitor, like alcohol but with a far more priapic, sexual angle. Some people become very cocky and talkative, like on cocaine; other people report feeling loved up like very mild ecstasy. At higher doses there are physical sensations like ecstasy, too.

After a couple of hours (or too high a dose) GBL puts you to sleep, so sex can finish up with a cosy sleep. However it does not work as a long term sleep aid, because as doses compound there is a "dopamine bounceback" effect whereby you can actually wake from sleep and feel alert, even if it's the middle of the night and you want to be asleep. In my experience, though, there's no kind of physical after-effect or hangover from GBL.

On GBL I've seen gay men have sex with straight women and I've had extraordinarily passionate and intense lovemaking with a committed partner. It works well in combination with ecstasy.

Ecstasy (MDMA) is my second favourite sex drug. Be careful now that MDMA powder (at least in the UK) seems to be the staple delivery mechanism. You have to really get the dose right or it's possible to have very overpowering, sticky, trippy experiences. At the correct dosage ecstasy can be a beautiful transformative experience - read any of Terence McKenna's books on the subject - but too much can be hard going.

Some people report that ecstasy stops them from being able to get an erection but I find it's quite the opposite...as soon as I feel the ecstasy rush I get a hard-on that doesn't seem to go during the whole time that I'm playing with a sexual partner. It also becomes harder for me to come, but that's a good thing. I find that ecstasy's empathic quality can lead to some very frank and honest moments in conversation as well as some meaningful and profound sexual connections. It lends itself to a feeling of love and understanding that can be valuable in long term relationships and can help establish new sexual friendships. Though it can also be deceiving as few people can carry the same level of empathy that they discover on ecstasy into the sober, sane real world.

Cannabis - Quite underrated as a sex drug in my book. In many ways I have found it to be the most spiritual of all, even in small doses, but I'm a lightweight. A lot of people smoke dope recreationally on a fairly regular basis, whereas I don't, so when I have it there is a very powerful effect.

With a group of friends it can be all about music or laughter, but with a sexual partner I usually feel a very strong sexual energy around them - something similar to tantric or kundalini energy. I have felt myself "merge" into the body of a sexual partner without even touching them physically. I have also felt the joining of my body with a sexual partner on a first date under the influence of cannabis - and she experienced the same thing. It can be slightly scary to feel a physical and emotional sensation of bonding your very cells to another human being.

LSD - I wouldn't recommend LSD as a sex drug as it's too unpredictable and lasts too long. It something goes wrong you're left in a very different universe for twelve hours, whereas on the others you can be back to earth in a couple of hours easily. However I have had a bonkers sex session on LSD that felt a lot like cannabis except with added religious connotations and a feeling of making love to the universe that would probably only make sense to other LSD users.

Cocaine - "Have you ever fucked on cocaine, Nick? It's nice." Sex on coke can be good - it's another good way of getting a hard-on, at least initially, and it lends itself to a more bestial, feral type of sex. Some people like the perceived glamour or the way it levels off alcohol. The downside is that too much can make you edgy, nervous and breathless - not what you want in sex. Also while it will help you have sex for hours - or for as long as you've got the coke around - the more you do, the more mechanical and "robotic" the sex seems to feel. A lot of people describe this slightly heartless aspect of coke, which does in my experience become more apparent at high doses.
posted by skylar at 8:27 AM on November 24, 2008 [3 favorites]

Marijuana: Generally, I have found that I need to maintain a high level on concentration to engage in sex while high, and the high detracts from the experience. I find myself thinking something like "THIS IS FUCKING WEIRD!" and communication becomes difficult. Easy to get distracted. Tactile sensation greatly increased.

LSD: I haven't done LSD in a long time, but I remember sexual experiences being very unusual, but not in a creepy way as with marijuana. I found myself extremely aware of a dirty, organic, animal quality to sex. Also, it was easy to be distracted and totally forget about it. Desire increased as the drug wore off.

Mushrooms: I don't recall sex entering my head at all on a mushroom trip. The high didn't seem to lend itself to sexual contact for me, and more often that not I've been negatively impacted.

Ecstasy: During the majority of a roll, actually performing would have been difficult. Sex on the downswing was great -- but in my case the moral component to sex went out the window (i.e. I was doing something I wasn't supposed to be doing). I think inhibition is greatly diminished. Many people report not wanting sex or preferring cuddling, but I never found this to be the case.

Dextromethorphan: I felt so unsettled and weird, sex would be rather unappealing.

Ketamine: Not a sex drug.

Cocaine (insufflated): A cocaine high will generally completely eradicate inhibition for me, and desire generally increases as the high wears off. Very hard to orgasm.

Cocaine (smoked): You don't need sex when you feel that good.

(Male, BTW.)
posted by Ultra Laser at 9:07 AM on November 24, 2008

Best sex I ever had was while tripping on acid. I felt like I was going to climax with every, eh, thrust? The other party involved had taken ecstasy and he looked as if he was having a pretty good time too, as far as I could tell! It seemed to last for hours, although I have no idea how long we were actually at it for ;0)

It...worked

Also used various others: coke - great, if you can stop talking long enough to get it on!
speed - good, but try not to get too carried away and injure each other.
other drugs are not necessarily so good, but obviously it depends on the person. If it stops me overthinking the situation then it usually works a treat.

Of course, now that I'm a responsible adult I restrict myself to grass. Unfortunately I can't give you a comparison of sex while stoned and sex without drugs because I have some long-term fucked-upedness that makes it difficult to get down and dirty without it. I have a friend with similar problems and she also finds self-medication lowers her inhibitions about sex. Thank FSM for the weed or else I'd never be relaxed enough to get laid!
posted by meosl at 9:42 AM on November 24, 2008

Marijuana is the only substance I've found to work really really really well with sex.
posted by Thorzdad at 11:49 AM on November 24, 2008