I'm stuckz. Help me figure out how to get unstuckz.

November 11, 2008 12:28 PM

I need to decide whether to move from Maine to Boston or not for school. (extended explanation below).

As most of my recent questions will make clear...I'm planning on going to nursing school. I'm currently living in Portland, Maine, taking prerequisite classes. I'm facing a few alternative situations and wondering about how to decide between them.

Sorry for the ramble below but I do appreciate your attention

Givens: I've applied to two accelerated nursing programs, one here and one in MA, both of which start in May of next year, both of which need a lot of prerequisites that I would need to complete next semester. The one here is quite affordable, but is very competitive. My guess is that I will not get in, however, in the past I've gotten into a lot of grad programs that I didn't expect to get into (I'm a little older, and I write a killer essay...I think that's what it is anyway).

The program in Boston seems quite expensive (about $80k all together). It would require more prerequisites.

I don't find out about the Boston program till at least mid-december. The Maine program will be towards the end of december.

I lived in Boston for 8 years and have a lot of really good friends there. I moved to Portland last year after a year in rural Maine and had a good time although it was really hard to find a job last winter. It's even worse now and I'm struggling to pay my bills at all. I'm really depressed here and pretty miserable. I had a few great friends living around here, and had an ok time while they were here but they're gone now and I'm really lonely and not enjoying myself at all. I'm a musician too, and most of my musician friends are in Boston and for the obscure music I play, it's a way better scene by many orders of magnitude. I know a lot of people here, but haven't made many friendships that I think will last. That makes me sad.

But Boston is also stressful and expensive and it's really hard to find a place to live. I know the grass is always greener, but I'm finding that this place is not clicking with me at all and every day I think about how nice it would be to be back in Boston.

Although I'm broke, my parents will help me move to Boston if I so choose. There is also the possibility of a well paying full time job in Boston with a company that a lot of my friends work for.

So I'm faced with a couple of scenarios and all of them suck in one way or another.

1) I make plans to move to Boston in December regardless. If I get into the program there, I immediately register for the prereqs I need (maybe preregister even before I get down there). I take out loans to live for the spring semester, then enter the program in May.

If I don't get in, I take the full time job that I line up and take 2 classes in the evenings, and 2 more in the summer, and enter a different program in the fall (there will be a lot more options in the fall for programs, but the programs will take a lot longer at least 2 years from next september, vs 15 months from next May for the accelerated programs).

Benefits: I get to Boston soon and can get out of this period of my life. I may get done with school very quickly.
Drawbacks: I have to ask my parents to bail me out a bit, which I'm not psyched about. Not sure about the loan situation if I move to Boston. Not sure about the health insurance situation if I go to Boston (although I think I'm poor enough right now to get it for free there). I think I'm no longer going to qualify for any MA resident discounts (haven't lived there for 2 years), although if I don't get into either program, it starts my residency clock there for a different program. The program there that I'm applying to is really expensive and I'm not sure how I feel about the debt load.

2) Stay here in Portland at least until May. Get the school decisions and make a decision from here, take prerequisites at the community college I'm currently at. If I get into the program here and not the one in MA, think about sucking it up, stay here for the 15 months of the program and then go wherever I want afterwords.

benefits here: possibly the fastest scenario for finishing school. Could be very cheap too. I don't have to move on the fly to Boston and I'd have way more time to figure things out. I may have no time to take advantage of music or friendships in Boston. (Although there is so much music in Boston right now, it would be really to take advantage of it).

Drawbacks: I'm terribly depressed here, miss all my friends, dying for some more musical challenges and really feel the need to get out of here as soon as I can. If I decide to stay and then don't get into the program up here, I've kind of stayed for nothing, as there aren't any other alternatives, and I haven't built up that MA residency thing for other programs there.

3) Decide that the program in MA is too expensive, and that it's more important to take my time and be in Boston than it is to get school over with as soon as possible. Move to Boston, plan on not going to either program, get a job, work through my prereqs over two semesters and enroll in a non-accelerated program in the fall.

advantages: less harried than any other approach. Less debt (possibly anyway). Gets me to Boston and allows me to get my feet on the ground there. More choice of programs.

disadvantages: I'm old (33, I feel old). I like school well enough but really it's a means to an end and I'd like to get it done with sooner than later. The prospect of slowly working through school is not that appealing to me. Plus with the economy the way it is, I'd rather be in school right now, and in the position to get a better paying job as soon as possible.

Other details: I have almost no debt at the moment, just owe for the two classes I'm taking now. Single, no kids, pets, etc.

I really appreciate you reading this far. Thanks in advance for any advice.

posted by sully75 to education (7 comments total)

woah that was long. sorry. It's what on my mind all the time at the moment and kind of driving me crazy.

To sum up, I'm wondering if I'm just having escapist fantasies, and really should just stick it out here and see what happens. Or if my problems here really are to do with this place (not many older single people, super small town, everyone my age seems to have babies, my sarcastic NY/MA sense of humor totally missing everyone here, not jobs to work at, etc) are real issues and if I should just cut my losses and get out of here.
posted by sully75 at 12:35 PM on November 11, 2008

I'm terribly depressed here, miss all my friends, dying for some more musical challenges and really feel the need to get out of here as soon as I can.

You definitely know where you don't want to be.

It doesn't sound reckless or risky to go to Boston. It seems like you have some good plans and a good support system waiting for you there.

Don't compromise your happiness for "cheap" or "fast" education.

Good luck!
posted by ginagina at 1:30 PM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

My sister recently graduated from a similar accelerated nursing program. A few of the things I know about her experience:
1) She had her choice of two programs, and chose one based on its better clinical offerings and better city to live in. She's very happy she made that decision. Some other programs only offered one or two hospitals; she was in a huge medical center that sees patients come from all around the world for treatment. Her oncology rotation was at a world-famous cancer hospital; her peds was ditto children's hospital, etc. Her program has a reputation for graduating nurses who are ready to go right to work, which made it easier to get a job.
2) Although she liked living in her chosen city better than she would have liked the other one, she didn't have a lot of time to take advantage of it. Clinicals kept her very very busy. On the other hand, she was able to enjoy what little time off she did have, which made the program and its accelerated pace more tolerable.
3) Even taking out the full amount of student loans available, her budget was quite tight. She had to live in a pretty ghetto apartment building and watch her spending very carefully, even in a city with a low cost of living. It was doable for 15 months, but wouldn't have been acceptable for much longer than that. Given the higher cost of living in Mass., I would assume the same would hold true there.
4) If you're concerned about the cost of the Mass. program, you should look into what your options might be regarding loan repayment assistance programs. My sister gets some percentage knocked off her loans for every year she works in an underserved area -- all that means for her is working in a hospital in a poorer part of her chosen town, not anything crazy like working at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.
If you have any more specific questions for her about going through the 15 month program, feel free to mefimail me and I'll have her answer.
posted by katemonster at 1:32 PM on November 11, 2008

It sounds to me like you want permission to go to Boston. You don't need permission. You already know what's going to be hard about it. I think you already know what you want to do; everything in your post suggests that you really don't want to stay in Maine and you really do want to be in Boston.

Good practical advice above.
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 1:57 PM on November 11, 2008

Get.
Out.
Of.
There.

I can't address the practical end of things--leave now, or leave later? What are the implications re: health insurance, et cetera?--; I just don't know. It seems to me that you've given umpteen thousand reasons for leaving and basically only one for staying in Maine: the "I could take care of the education-related thing faster were I to get into the program in Maine than I could if I were to move to Boston" rationale (and it's a valid one; I don't mean to merely dismiss it).

But the moment you switch into "What would things be like if I moved to Boston?"-mode, everything reads like...well, like something you're trying to talk yourself out of doing because you should, at your age(!), be taking the most direct route possible towards your academic goal.

(Meanwhile, whenever you toss in the "I could/should patiently stay in Maine and..." commentary, I feel as though you can see your reflection somewhere there in the room, and every time you look up from your keyboard, there's that feeling that the person you see is...just...wasting...away.)

I think you did a good job of balancing out the pros and cons. (Then again, what do I know?) But it seems to this reader that the difficulties of moving back to Boston are more than outweighed by the supportive atmosphere and network of friends you've got waiting for you to arrive. Yes, the entire process will take longer than you think (even if you plan for it taking longer than you think). But in the meantime, you'll have found a job, you'll be in an environment more to your liking (despite the expense, et cetera), you'll have more of the sort of interactions that will hopefully make you happy. And sure, there's the issue of being in debt to your parents--but I think they'd actually rather be helping you get ahead in your life than to be worrying about how depressing it is to be around you while you tough it out in Maine. Go to Boston, get settled in, make sure that at some point they get to see you perform and see that you're okay, and they'll be okay with continuing to help you out, because they'll see what progress you're making, however much longer it might take than it would if you stayed in Maine.

You're only 33. I don't know what actuarial tables you've been looking at, but as far as I know, you've still got plenty of time to take risks, @#$% up, and take risks again.
posted by t2urner at 1:57 PM on November 11, 2008 [1 favorite has favorites]

It seems to me the only plus of staying in Maine is cost, and if the good job that awaits you with friends in Boston is, in fact, a good job, you've most likely removed the last barrier to staying there. C'mon down.
posted by jalexei at 8:55 PM on November 11, 2008

Thanks all....I guess that's unanimous...I decided yesterday to get out of here as soon as classes are over.
posted by sully75 at 7:37 AM on November 12, 2008