Can I get my friend back?
October 24, 2008 2:29 PM Subscribe
I found out why a friend cut off contact with me. More details below. Can this friendship be saved?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (29 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
A longtime friend cut off contact with me back in July and sent me the following e-mail today after I e-mailed him as to why we don't talk anymore.
1. He says I did some minor damage to his house while living there. I'm fully willing to reimburse him for this.
2. He says I'm always late for appointments. This is true, and I admit I need to be better about being on time.
3. I spent a good portion of time lying about my sexual experience. I finally came clean with all my pals back in Feb. This friend seemed to stand by me, but says that I kept lying. I don't think I did, but I am in therapy now for my self-esteem issues that lead me to lie to people. I used to tell my guy friends I was having a lot of sex with women when in actuality I was a virgin. This went on for a number of years. I also would give my friends relationship advice, which this friend found fault with. I think I'm qualified because I've had a couple of relationships that could be called long-term.
3a. He says I'm a two faced person. There were two weekends we hung out before he cut contact. He said that the first weekend, when I was hanging out with the boys, I was acting as if I were a playboy, loved strip clubs, etc. The next weekend, we went to see a movie with an older lady from my work. He says with this lady I was acting as if I was sensitive about women, thought stripping was wrong, etc. I don't see it this way. When I'm out with the guys, I'll say and do things I wouldn't do with an older lady.
4. I inadvertently revealed a bit of personal information about my friend while we were hanging out with the lady from my work.
He closed by saying he doesn't want to hang out with someone like me on a consistent basis.
Is there anything I can say and do to repair the damage, or is this a friendship I should write off?
If you have any questions or need followup, you can e-mail me at liarandloser at gmail dot com.