Help me thief-proof my Obama sign!

October 8, 2008 1:02 PM

ObamaFilter/AustinFilter: Obama yard signs keep getting stolen in Austin--including mine! Please help me set up humiliating and/or just-less-than-fatal deterrents for would-be thieves!

Here's what I have: (1) the yard sign, which consists of a metal wire and the plastic sign part, (2) a free-standing mailbox, and (3) a big oak tree. I thought about chaining the sign to the mailbox, but because there is no wire going across the bottom of the sign, a thief could just slip the sign off the chain. I considered making a hole at the top of the plastic and putting the chain through that, but a thief would just have to tear the plastic. (My friend tells me you can't attach things to a mailbox, though. I could attach it to an in-ground stake.) I considered stapling the sign to the tree, but again, all you have to do is tear. (Nota bene: I refuse to put Quikrete in my yard.) My friends (who are meaner than I am) suggest coating the sign with Vaseline and chili powder. Please use your devious minds to thief-proof my sign!

posted by chaplinesque to home & garden (59 comments total)

I was just going to say Vaseline, but Vaseline and chili powder is better!!
posted by Green Eyed Monster at 1:09 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

I like your friends idea. If you have a canine friend who can lend you some, you might consider circling your sign in lovely poo; then if the sign gets ripped off at least the perp will have poopy shoes to go with his/her poopy attitude about freedom of speech and candidates people can actually admire.
posted by littlerobothead at 1:10 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

How tall is the tree? Putting it up high would discourage casual theft.
posted by zamboni at 1:11 PM on October 8, 2008

Last election I saw a picture online where someone put a homemade sign out reading ""For every sign stolen, I will donate another $100 to the Kerry campaign" along with several more Kerry signs. The photo poster claimed it was effective.
posted by piedmont at 1:11 PM on October 8, 2008 [21 favorites]

Paint your mailbox blue w/ Obama logo.
posted by mikepop at 1:11 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Regardless of any additional yard sign solution, I'd hope a yard sign propped up inside your front window would be safe.
posted by adiabat at 1:13 PM on October 8, 2008

Damn, we've only been married six weeks, and already Green Eyed Monster is reading my mind!

Vaseline would be a good deterrent.


(of course, so would a spray gun filled with gasoline rigged to a photo eye.)
posted by notsnot at 1:16 PM on October 8, 2008

Video?
posted by and hosted from Uranus at 1:21 PM on October 8, 2008

"For every sign stolen, I will donate another $100 to the Kerry campaign"

I would consider potential unintended consequences before doing this. It might only encourage Obama supporters to steal your signs.
posted by DevilsAdvocate at 1:22 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Also, I absolutely refuse to pussy-out and put the sign in my window. I want the Republicans down the street to see it every time they go outside. I want it in their face, loud and proud!
posted by chaplinesque at 1:24 PM on October 8, 2008

While the Vaseline + chili powder might be "mean", plain Vaseline should work as a deterrent. No one would want to put that sign in their car, carry it anywhere or even try to rip it up.
posted by mikepop at 1:27 PM on October 8, 2008

If it won't rain, you could apply something like this to the back side of the sign, probably using a light spray adhesive or something to hold it on there. You'd have to test; I'm not sure if the adhesive would trigger it, or if perhaps vaseline might work, etc. etc.
posted by aramaic at 1:27 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

A coworker cut a piece of plywood to size and slipped his plastic Obama sign over the top, then put the plywood on metal pipe legs which he drove very deeply into the ground.

Seems to have worked.
posted by anastasiav at 1:31 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Alternately, take the sign off the metal poles, rubber cement it to a piece of sheet metal with attached pole, then chain that to something.
posted by mikepop at 1:32 PM on October 8, 2008

How hard is it to get more signs? This will all be water under the bridge in a few weeks, so I wouldn't do anything too elaborate... if you were able to get a small supply you could just keep putting new ones out and get revenge by frustrating them. I wonder if explaining the situation to a local campaign office might net a boatload of extras. Otherwise if they keep it up you or a neighbor are much more likely to catch them in the act.

And yeah, I'd do the vaseline/chili powder trick (but on the back of the sign where they don't see right off it's contaminated).

Is it disappearing at a certain time of day? You could case it while you chill out near a window or near the back gate and bust them in the act. Are you indoors? Run a string with no slack indoors to some pots and pans -- instant mischief alarm.
posted by crapmatic at 1:39 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

plain Vaseline should work as a deterrent.

Oh, is the point to foul up their hands? Use marine grease! That's a mess to get off, even with Lava.
posted by crapmatic at 1:40 PM on October 8, 2008

Be warned that boobytrapping your property is illegal.

On that note, it might be the same bastards who put a Bush/Cheney sign in my yard on election night 2004. So, I wouldn't mind watching them hang.
posted by Seamus at 1:41 PM on October 8, 2008

tanglefoot

much nastier than vaseline and it will get on everything!
posted by special-k at 1:42 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

How hard is it to get more signs?

My mom just waited 3 weeks to get Obama signs.
posted by ALongDecember at 1:43 PM on October 8, 2008

Crapmatic, getting a new Obama sign in Austin is like trying to find fresh seafood in the Sahara. My one from the primary rotted away and I have been unable to find a replacement (even though we have been generous supporters of the campaign). Bumperstickers, however, seem to fall from the sky.
posted by Seamus at 1:43 PM on October 8, 2008

Paint your mailbox blue w/ Obama logo.

Love this suggestion. That way if someone messes with it, it's a federal crime!
posted by PhoBWanKenobi at 1:46 PM on October 8, 2008 [5 favorites]

Saran Wrap it to the tree. Use lots and lots of Saran Wrap so the thieves would need some heavy-duty scissors to get the sign off. Hide a note behind the sign reading "the least you could do now is recycle the Saran Wrap, assholes."

I actually like the Vaseline idea better, though chili powder wouldn't blend into the blue. Maybe mix it with a ton of blue Kool-Aid powder to stain the deterrents' hands/clothes?

Or put a giant sign on your roof... though that might come across to some people as a challenge. Perhaps razor wire would help?
posted by Metroid Baby at 1:48 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Rub poison ivy on the sign. No need to be nice to undemocratic thieves.
posted by malp at 1:51 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Be warned that boobytrapping your property is illegal.

As are trespassing and theft. Vaseline and chili powder.
posted by Blazecock Pileon at 1:52 PM on October 8, 2008 [10 favorites]

Motion detector light with a BIG flood light, goes on as the person gets X number of feet within your lawn?
posted by Freedomboy at 2:03 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Why not build a motion-activated squirt gun?

I'd add a speaker and video camera that announces that they have been recorded, and will be prosecuted.

And then I'd smear vaseline on the signs.
posted by liquado at 2:08 PM on October 8, 2008

Vaseline and chili powder is nice because it's not necessarily booby-trapping. You might just be keeping the termites off, after all.

Poison ivy is also funny, if you're careful in applying it and remember to keep your own hands off. If you forget one day... not so funny.
posted by rokusan at 2:09 PM on October 8, 2008

Vaseline and chili powder is brilliant.

Axle grease (available at most hardware stores and Auto parts stores) is a much nastier substance though. And once it's on your clothes, a typical home-usage style washer will not get it out. (The local trouble maker-kids no longer sit on the corner in front of my building).
posted by peewinkle at 2:14 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Oh, and neither would be considered booby-trapping. They cause no physical harm.

My other idea would be some DMSO-50 mixed with some sort of hallucinogenic, but that would be illegal and therefore not recommended.
posted by peewinkle at 2:19 PM on October 8, 2008

I considered stapling the sign to the tree, but again, all you have to do is tear.

If you go to your local wood stockist $15 should get you twelve feet of extremely study wood. With your sign twelve feet in the air, stealing it will become more challenging.

Vaseline and chili powder is brilliant. Axle grease [...] is a much nastier substance though.

You can get stuff called 'anti-vandal paint' which is designed to be slippery, brightly coloured and hard to get off your hands or out of clothes.
posted by Mike1024 at 2:23 PM on October 8, 2008

I agree that most of this is not "boobytrapping".

Spraying someone with something damaging would be.

Passive applications should be fine.
I love the idea of vaseline, blue kool-aid and some high-test capsaicin.
posted by Seamus at 2:30 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Screw Vaseline. The heavier axle greases can give you skin burns. Still, the most effective thing would be to hide outside with a big, blunt object.
posted by dunkadunc at 2:34 PM on October 8, 2008

Rub poison ivy on the sign.

Or Myrtle Spurge, evidently.
posted by XMLicious at 2:35 PM on October 8, 2008

I would strongly suggest you do NOT place anything on or around the sign that would raise someone's ire to do something more than just steal a sign.

If I could channel my inner sign thief, if I felt I'd been booby-trapped with something, even something as innocuous as Vaseline, I'd throw a rock through your window.

My suggestion: Hang a small sign near the Obama sign. Just small enough that you'd actually have to approach the sign to read it. This small sign should say:

SMILE FOR THE HIDDEN CAMERA!

posted by Cool Papa Bell at 2:55 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Vaseline and chili powder are a fantastic deterrent. I used this in a local election where my signs were being stolen. Once my replacement signs were gunked up, they didn't move for the remainder of the election. The one downside to vaseline is that it dries out in a day of hanging out in the sun. Go with a heavier grease, as others have suggested.
posted by rand at 3:00 PM on October 8, 2008

SMILE FOR THE HIDDEN CAMERA!

Or, you know, actually set up a real surveillance camera or two and record them in the act. I bet the local police or news station would be very interested.
posted by empyrean at 3:02 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

i would set up a camera and just record. once you get the perp on tape, capture a screenshot and post flyers around the neighborhood saying, "this guy keeps stealing my obama sign. mccain must be so proud."
posted by thinkingwoman at 3:13 PM on October 8, 2008 [3 favorites]

Put up a "no trespassing" sign at the edge of your yard, then put the Obama sign a few feet in from that.

Per our forward-thinking state laws regarding trespassers, that should at least give them pause before they continue forward and encounter your cayenne & grease coated sign with a surveillance camera pointed at it.

Plz upload results.
posted by batmonkey at 3:37 PM on October 8, 2008

Why chili powder? I thought that cayenne pepper was the proper ingredient.
posted by shinybeast at 3:48 PM on October 8, 2008

I would double whammy. Do the vaseline/capsaicin combo, but then install a couple of these. I had them to get rid of deer that were eating my shrubs. Unfortunately, they also were, uh, attacking Mr. dancinglamb when he had to accompany our eldery Frenchie outside in the middle of the night. Let's just say I'm putting it mildly when I tell you that he was not a happy camper after they caught him off guard on more than one occasion.
posted by dancinglamb at 4:47 PM on October 8, 2008 [1 favorite]

Put an NRA sign next to it... or a copy of that news article about the dude in Texas that killed the two people who were robbing his neighbors' house and didn't get in any trouble.

The Obama sign-stealing in Austin seems to be pretty bad from what I hear. I kept mine close to the house when I was living in a house earlier this year and nobody stole it, but I lived in Hyde Park at the time.
posted by fructose at 5:12 PM on October 8, 2008

dog poop.
posted by micawber at 5:43 PM on October 8, 2008

Two words: Castle Doctrine.

(OK, I don't think shooting someone for stealing your yard sign is really defensible. In lieu of that, I'm seconding the cayenne pepper.
posted by fiercecupcake at 5:46 PM on October 8, 2008

)
posted by fiercecupcake at 5:46 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

I will gladly come over and drive some 2x4s deep into the dirt, build a frame, then screw the sign with some plexiglass over it (so they cannot just cut and rip into the sign) onto said frame. Cost you a couple of bucks for the 2x4s and plexiglass and a cup of good coffee. The thieves might just see it as a challenge but perhaps they'd let off if/when they see you are serious. (Extra credit, and extra fun: put flashing holiday lights on the newly built frame also.)
posted by dancestoblue at 7:03 PM on October 8, 2008 [2 favorites]

Why not make things harder for them? Decorate your entire house in Obama stuff. Put a huge banner on the roof. There are cardboard cut-outs of Obama. You could create a whole yard scene that tells a story. I like the idea of painting your mailbox, especially since it will be easy to paint it back if you want. I like dancestoblue's idea of flashing holiday lights, too; you can find some blue ones. Try and get multiple yard signs (this may be difficult, but if you can get the rest of the stuff it'd be easy).

You know, I bet you could get on the news. As a fellow Austinite, I think that would be likely. You could probably convince the field offices to give you the materials necessary to do it, too, by telling them you want to get on the news.

And then once you're on the news, you can say it started because someone kept stealing your Obama signs.
posted by Nattie at 7:59 PM on October 8, 2008

I think dancestoblue, Nattie and every other Austin-area MeFite who's up for it should come together at chaplinesque's place and make it into an unmesswithable Obamarama.

But I would advise against any sort of grease/irritant combo. I deplore theft as much as the next guy, but I feel you would be sending the wrong signal. Put simply, I doubt you want sign the sign thieves of America to think of Obama supporters as a bunch of lubricant-wielding spicemongers with a vindictive streak.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 1:58 PM on October 9, 2008 [5 favorites]

If you guys do this, I want pictures, so would everyone else in my field office.
posted by piedmont at 2:45 PM on October 9, 2008

So would I, I might add. Please do follow up.
posted by goodnewsfortheinsane at 6:03 PM on October 9, 2008

I'm up for goodnewsfortheinsane's suggestion, chaplinesque. Show 'em we're the stand-up types who aren't easily cowed.
posted by batmonkey at 6:11 PM on October 9, 2008

Yes, please followup, with pictures or video if possible
(Also, I think Spicemongers was perhaps my favorite of the Dune series)
posted by blueberry at 11:24 AM on October 10, 2008

STP Oil Treatment is much more slippery than Vaseline and almost impossible to rub off. I've seen it put on flagpoles for climbing contests, and nobody can get even an inch off the ground.

For a nastier trick, spread it on the ground around the signs, and nobody will be able to stay on their feet.

And if you daub the sign with pine pitch (which seems to be dripping from the trees these days), unless they know to use acetone, they'll never get it out of their clothes or hair.
posted by KRS at 1:32 PM on October 13, 2008

Obama sign cam catches gnome abuse
posted by XMLicious at 11:06 PM on October 13, 2008

I doubt you want sign the sign thieves of America to think of Obama supporters as a bunch of lubricant-wielding spicemongers with a vindictive streak.

Where is your sense of hospitality? This should not be about you getting the kind of world you want, it should be about the perpetrator being gifted with the kind of world that he wants.
posted by Kid Charlemagne at 8:21 PM on October 19, 2008 [1 favorite]

Here is a way to alarm your sign, if you prefer audible deterrents:

HOW TO Alarm your Yard Sign to Prevent Theft & Vandalism

What You'll Need
• Duct tape
• A wire hanger
• Fishing line (string or twine can also be used)
• A personal alarm (more on this below)
posted by mikepop at 6:01 AM on October 20, 2008

Why not smear it with poison oak oil, or something along those lines?
posted by Mokusatsu at 6:30 AM on October 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

I am a proud lubricant-wielding spicemonger with a vindictive streak. Also, coating it with poison oak oil would be pretty damn awesome, speaking as someone who is crazy allergic to leaves-of-three plants.
posted by bitter-girl.com at 1:43 PM on October 20, 2008 [1 favorite]

I realize this is a bit old, but is it possible that chaplinesque is the same person featured here http://www.kxan.com/dpp/news/politics/Woman_paints_lawn_after_sign_is_stolen. If so, kudos to you. A very creative, non-lethal solution to the problem. No pictures with the article though. Shame.
posted by BeReasonable at 9:18 AM on October 29, 2008

Pssst... BeReasonable, even better, there's video!
posted by lioness at 12:57 PM on November 3, 2008