Like the one ring, but with less evil.

October 3, 2008 10:32 AM

EngagementRingFilter: I'm coming upon that time in my life - I'm going to buy a ring and propose to my wonderful girlfriend. My problem is, though, that no matter how much I look up, and what I read, I still can't wrap my head around buying an actual ring. She wants something like this, but I can't see to find anything. Help!

Issues: I'm looking for something within the next few months. She doesn't care if it's a real diamond or man-made, but no cubic zirconium. She does want a diamond, though, so recommendations for other stones aren't entirely helpful. She prefers the three stones as in the photos linked above, and no solitaires. The ring in the photos was purchased as Wal-Mart as an example of something she'd like. It doesn't have to match perfectly, though, just the general aesthetic.

The Quest: I've looked at various online websites, and nothing seems to match up. I feel like I'm going about this whole search wrong. I've been avoiding mall stores, because I was told that, but most of the local diamond dealers seem to be less than helpful. I'm in the Dallas/Fort Worth area, if that matters at all.

Question: Does anyone have any suggestions as to where to find something, either real or man-made in that style? My price range is somewhere under $3000, but I can go higher if I find something I absolutely love. Size of the stone isn't a big deal... I just feel completely out of my depth in finding this.

Thanks Hivemind - I've looked at past questions, but they all seemed to be not quite what I was looking for.

Any suggestions/advice/general recommendations for engagement ring shopping is much appreciated.

posted by SNWidget to shopping (32 answers total)

Have you browsed at any local pawn shops? You can find an amazing selection of diamond rings at very good prices. If you find the style you're looking for, you can always have it sized at a jewelry shop after the fact. They'll also clean it up nicely, and your fiancee doesn't have to know that it is a "used" ring.
posted by Oriole Adams at 10:43 AM on October 3, 2008

BlueNile.com has a large number of custom three-stone settings available- the example pictures have a large middle stone with two smaller side stones, but I would think you could just order three stones that are closer to the sizes in the example ring.
posted by ThePinkSuperhero at 10:44 AM on October 3, 2008 [1 favorite]

I bought my fiancee's ring at BlueNile.com, and other jewelry as well. I can't recommend it highly enough. The customer service is fantastic as well (an actual, very helpful PERSON picks up the phone every time, usually in less than two rings).
posted by Grither at 10:48 AM on October 3, 2008

Does the color the diamonds matter? Here is a similar ring offered on greenKarat. They deal only in recycled/reused metals and stones, alleviating any concerns you and yours may have about the nature of the diamond and precious metal industry (if it matters, it might not to you).

greenKarat also does custom work, and they would likely be willing to set white diamonds in the ring.
posted by wg at 10:48 AM on October 3, 2008 [2 favorites]

Recruit a female friend who has an eye for fashion/jewelry, preferably someone who has been through the process of choosing an engagement ring (but won't impose her own taste on you). Take her, and the ring, and go shopping--pawn shops, jewelry stores, online, wherever. She can "see" the rings you're missing, and then you get to make the final decision. This takes the pressure off of you without taking you out of the equation.
posted by Meg_Murry at 10:51 AM on October 3, 2008

To continue the custom work notion - not everything has to be purchased off the shelf.

You can find a jeweler to design and make it. A unique ring for a unique fiancee. You have a few months. The cost wouldn't necessarily be exorbitant, either. But hey, if she's worth it, it's worth it.
posted by coffeefilter at 11:05 AM on October 3, 2008

I would check out Costco. No, seriously. They carry some very nice, quality diamond jewelry (including the 3 stone style you reference) and I know I've seen a very similar style ring at my local Costco. You get a lot of bang for the buck.

You might also check their website too - they often carry different inventory online. See here, and more specifically, here.

Custom design is also a great way to go as well, since you can have more choice over the diamond grade, metals, and overall design/style. This would allow you to add a personal touch and to prioritize and focus your money on what's most important to your partner and you.

Good luck!

(P.S. - My mom is a jeweler (and has GIA Diamond Certification) and has custom design experience so if you would like to chat with someone knowledgable about these types of things (with no sales pressure/stress or obligation whatsoever - she does not live anywhere near Texas), MeFiMail me and I can put you in touch.)
posted by karizma at 11:07 AM on October 3, 2008

My ring looks a lot like that, but with two shoulder stones on each side rather than one on each side. It's a Scott Kay design, and my husband bought it at Bailey Banks and Biddle.
posted by ersatzkat at 11:08 AM on October 3, 2008

Thanks for the initial glut of advice!

Oriole Adams: I'd never thought of pawn shops, but I'll admit, I've got an aversion to the idea of a used ring. Although, if I find something I like, I guess I won't complain.

wg: Color isn't that important, I don't think. She's never mentioned it, so I figure that a diamond is a diamond, and if it's a nifty color, maybe that's even better? I'll ask her.

Meg_Murry: I've done just that, and I keep getting different advice from different people. Most of the girls I end up going shopping with end up looking more for themselves than for something my girlfriend would like, even with the sample ring next to them. Then again, that may just speak to the type of girls I've been taking!
posted by SNWidget at 11:08 AM on October 3, 2008

Try searching "anniversary ring"? The gimmick they were using awhile back was that the 3 stones are for your past, present, and future.
posted by fiercecupcake at 11:08 AM on October 3, 2008

My husband bought my engagement ring from BlueNile.com and some other jewelry from them too, so we are big fans. What about something like this? My ring looks just like that, except the stone in the center is a sapphire, not a diamond.

Apparently it came in like 2 days by FedEx, shipping was free and they followed up with a phone call to make sure me and my husband were satisfied. So I second or third the recommendation for Blue Nile. My ring is really gorgeous.
posted by sutel at 11:14 AM on October 3, 2008

Believe it or not, this is one of those purchases where it's a really good idea to go to a brick&mortar shop. Ask around to find stores with good recommendations, then go in and explain what you're looking for. Any shop worth their salt will be able to find what you want within your budget. The bonus is, if there's a problem, you have an actual person at an actual store to help resolve the problem.

My fiance and I did exactly that and based on our experiences, I'd steer away from any chain jewelry store or any store that advertises regularly on TV. The really good places get enough business from word of mouth that they don't need to advertise in the media.

Most jewelers understand that your nervous and don't really know what you're doing. If they're good, they will explain the different gem grades and ring options and give you the pros/cons of each.

If you're really struggling with the style of the ring, consider getting a proxy ring, or get the diamond, but put it in a very inexpensive setting. Then the 2 of you can go together and she can pick out exactly the design she likes. Whether or not this will work for the 2 of you depends on her, more than anything else.

Congrats, and good luck! I can give you a great recommendation for a jeweler in Chicago if that's where you live. :)
posted by specialnobodie at 11:15 AM on October 3, 2008

Second, third, fifteenth bluenile.com. We didn't get my engagement ring there (the husband designed mine) but we did get our wedding bands because we wanted uber-simple white gold without being gouged which fit in with my engagement ring. We are very happy with them. They have all kinds of 'design your own' setups and at the very least you can use them for comparative shopping.

you can also check out http://www.tiffany.com/ - they have a special engagement section but you could browse the options of this style all over the place... and any girl is going to love a tiffany's ring.
posted by eatdonuts at 11:19 AM on October 3, 2008

I'll chime in with a vote in favor of Blue Nile. I bought my fiance's ring there just a month and a half ago and could not have been more pleased with the experience. Not only was the ring of exceptional quality and value for the price paid, but their customer service was excellent as well (in addition to the information they provided prior to the purchase, I also had to ship it back to have it resized.) Further, I bought a three stone ring quite similar in design to the one in your photo. Here is their page showing their three stone settings. That's a good place to start.

I, too, looked at some of the the local stores offerings and found them helpful enough, but they had pretty limited return policies (which was important to me, since I had no idea what style my fiance might have liked) and their prices were a little bit higher.

In addition, there are a gazillion other engagement ring threads on AskMeFi that are helpful - particularly on what to look for in the actual diamond. Feel free to MeFi mail me as well if you want specifics/further advice.
posted by Rewind at 11:19 AM on October 3, 2008

Agree about going to a store. That type of ring is pretty standard and you should be able to find it anywhere. In fact, I have about four friends with pretty much that exact settng. Two of them I know were purchased at Zales.

Although... I encourage you to check out the setting on the "green" jewelers sites, as seen here and here
posted by smalls at 11:26 AM on October 3, 2008

I'd heard of BlueNile, but I'd never checked it out - for some reason, I had it in my mind that it was shady. Guess not!

I'll look through there, but keep the advice coming. I think I've learned more in this thread already than I've learned in my bit of previous research!
posted by SNWidget at 11:34 AM on October 3, 2008

Since your fiance isn't opposed to man-made diamonds, then I would recommend Miadonna. They are conflict-free, man made diamonds, and the company donates a portion of sales to The Greener Diamond Foundation which funds humanitarian programs that are working in countries to help those affected my earth mined diamond industry. This page has several three stone ring.
posted by kimdog at 11:55 AM on October 3, 2008

I bought an engagement ring very much like that one for an unbelievable price from Overstock.com. It was excellent quality, as well.
posted by camworld at 12:43 PM on October 3, 2008

That looks similar to my ring, which I LOVE! Here's a pic, though kind of hard to see:

my ring


I think DH got it at the PX or something military-related, and the wedding band is from Bailey Banks and Biddle in one of the Dallas malls.
posted by texas_blissful at 12:44 PM on October 3, 2008

So my ring purchasing routine started off something like yours. I had this idea of what I wanted, did a few sketches even, and then shopped *all over* at brick and mortar stores, and on line. Really, I went to probably 20 stores which, if you've been in to one store and said "I'd like to buy an engagement ring" you *know* how excruciating that is. So after I had decided to give up on what I wanted, I went to the corner jewelry store and picked something out but the guy could tell I really wasn't too excited about it. "What's wrong?" he asked. Then I pulled out my crumpled up sketch and explained what I wanted and why. "Hell I could make something like that, easy" he said. It wound up costing me less than I was going to pay and my wife loves telling her family and friends, "Yeah, he designed it himself for me, I love it!"
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:15 PM on October 3, 2008

ps. my budget was less than yours is.
posted by Slarty Bartfast at 1:16 PM on October 3, 2008

Here's the Overstock page for diamond 3 stone rings.
And here is one that looks pretty similar in your price range.
posted by rmless at 1:20 PM on October 3, 2008

I'm in the Dallas area as well. If the shop in question wasn't owned by my ex's best friend's parents, I'd go there for my own engagement ring but it'd make things very awkward. Go to Euless Gold and Silver. Good and varied selection - they have a lot of estate stuff, as well as newer stuff. And if I remember correctly, they'd be able to order something if they don't have it in stock for you.
posted by damnjezebel at 1:32 PM on October 3, 2008

Sounds like designing the ring might be the best option, seeing as you have something so specific in mind. My friend's fiance designed hers and for her, it made it even more special that he did that. Go to a proper, mom-and-pop jewelry store and see what they can do for you.
posted by pised at 2:03 PM on October 3, 2008

My daughter has a very similar engagement ring: it started out as a solitaire ring, and a local jeweler added two smaller diamonds for her wedding (she did not want to wear two rings).
A reputable non-chain jeweler could be of help.
posted by francesca too at 2:08 PM on October 3, 2008

Antique rings might be up your alley.
posted by electroboy at 2:22 PM on October 3, 2008

Amazon actually has a pretty good jewelry selection, and does a good job explaining the differences between diamonds.
posted by designbot at 2:34 PM on October 3, 2008

I've been happy with the Shane Co.'s retail stores. They have quite a few three-stone settings listed online...

http://www.shaneco.com/freetext/default.aspx?Cat|category_root|1=Rings&Cat|cat_1|3=Engagement&Page|1=32&Sort=&Cat|cat_3|5=Three+Stone

My wife wanted a ring very similar to the one you've pictured, but with a sapphire in the middle. We went to a local jeweler and had it custom made for about what you're looking to pay.

Good luck!
posted by lalas at 3:09 PM on October 3, 2008

If you are planning on insuring the ring, you'll most likely need for it to be re-appraised every two years. Some local jewelers will appraise rings that they sold you for no charge, others will charge up to $100. It's a slightly annoying process, and I'm not sure how well Blue Nile handles it. If you don't get appraisals included, you are probably better off investing the insurance/appraisal payment and buying a new ring in the event this one is damaged, lost or stolen.
posted by BrotherCaine at 4:49 PM on October 3, 2008

Nth Blue Nile.
posted by callmejay at 10:23 AM on October 4, 2008

No one's watching this probably, but I just wanted to let anyone that stumbles upon this know that I did buy a ring from Blue Nile. It was a three stone, platinum ring that was absolutely beautiful. I pulled it out last night, and I got a yes!

So thanks MeFi, ya got me engaged. Or, at least, helped me along the way.
posted by SNWidget at 10:28 AM on October 26, 2008 [1 favorite]

Yay! Congrats!!!
posted by spinturtle at 5:14 PM on November 2, 2008