A very depressed teenager needs help..
August 12, 2007 2:44 PM   Subscribe

Help me with these crippling mental disorders.. please.

For the past 4 or 5 years, I've been dealing with depression. Lately it's been coming back, because of these other disorders that have recently developed. I've been diagnosed with Panic Disorder, and I know I have Social Anxiety Disorder and Insomnia. I've also been told that I have Chronic Fatigue, but I believe it's just a mix of Depression and Anxiety. I'm 19 years of age, and I dropped out of high school because of the depression and anxiety. It's been getting worse lately since I've developed the Panic Disorder, since it makes me sweat uncontrollably when I feel pressured.. and often I feel pressured for no reason at all. I've thought of writing on here about this many times, because I can't reach out to my own family or friends because I fear the worst.. I fear that they'll see me in a different light and think bad about me. It's crippling at work, because I get pressured and I sweat a lot, so it's hard to feel confident while talking to people and getting to know them. I've never really had any close friends, and only a couple of people know about my conditions. I drink sometimes to help me open up, and once I told my friend all about my Panic Disorder when I was drunk, which helped a lot. My family and friends are all very conservative Christians, as am I. It's rare around here, with such a perfect life.. I've only had one death that was close to me, but that happened a couple of years after my depression started. I've gone to a mental hospital for help, but it scared me into trying to act normal more than it helped. I've been on every anti-depressant you could think of, but I honestly think they're the reason that I'm now having panic attacks. I'm now only on supplements and Klonopin, which seems to help a little, but not enough. Even when I'm comfortable, I sweat more than anyone should sweat from my armpits, and I've chosen to wear different clothing because of it. When people make comments about me sweating, I freak out and it causes me to want to cry and run away. When people mock me for the littlest things, things that are playful and shouldn't be taken seriously, I want to leave and never talk to them again because it hurts me so deeply, even though it shouldn't. I've wanted to talk to my older sister for a long time now about it, because I think she'd understand, but I can't find the courage to. Whenever I try to get over this, it seems to come back and bring me back down. I'm a strong believer in God, but I don't know why he's doing this to me. I just want to be "normal", I want to be able to talk to people and not break out in sweats, I want to be able to talk to my sister and my other family and friends about my condition, and have them understand, but I feel like I can't. Please help me to battle this. Anything will help at this point, anything encouraging. I've tried everything, and it never seems to get me anywhere. I just want it to be over.. finally. Thanks for listening.
posted by CliffDiving44 to Health & Fitness (27 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
Find a therapist.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 2:48 PM on August 12, 2007


Response by poster: I've been to a few psychologists, with little benefit, because of my inability to open up.
posted by CliffDiving44 at 2:55 PM on August 12, 2007


Best answer: Just point them to this post. Most shrinks have internet access these days.
posted by IronLizard at 3:02 PM on August 12, 2007 [3 favorites]


Ditto to the first comments and I will add a therapist.

If you haven’t been told this already…..
Mental Illness on its base level is like an injury, say a broken leg. Unfortunately the healing can go on for a long time. It does not mean you are bad or less of a person. You have imbalances in your brain that, along with learned behavior, increase anxiety that is crippling you.

Clearly, you need professional help. Support from a site like this is best taken as a simple guide.

There is probably no single pill that will work. Instead, a combination of therapies including group and one on one counseling.

You need to get a professional who can assist you. You also have the responsibility to work through whatever therapy you need. Sometimes, it can take a while for “it” to “kick in”, and I am not talking about just the drugs. There will be moments of clarity for you and if you have given yourself the “tools”, you will be able to take advantage of those times when you are not feeling so down. However, if you do not start somewhere, those moments will pass you by.

Good luck to you. As a person who finally started getting help after years of banging my head against the wall, I can relate to your situation.
posted by lampshade at 3:15 PM on August 12, 2007


The association between anxiety and sweating could go either way.

It sounds like you believe that your anxiety disorder is causing you to sweat excessively, however it is also possible that you’re someone who suffers naturally from excessive sweating and then as you and others become aware of your sweating your anxiety increases.

The reason I think this matters is if you are an excessive sweater then you should get help for this problem first. Ask your medical doctor about hyperhidrosis treatments. For underarm sweating you can get “super” deodorants like Drysol or OdaBan. Also, your doctor may be able to prescribe Robinul to help control generalized sweating. Make sure your doctor also checks your thyroid.

Hyperhydrosis is a physical problem and therapy probably would most likely have little or no effect. If you just go to therapy and don’t look into whether you suffer from hyperhydrosis when in fact you do, you’ll only become more depressed and anxious as the therapy will be ineffective.

But, yes you should go to therapy. Also, check out the book Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. In the book there is a story about a doctor who suffered from excessive sweating and how he dealt with it using a technique called paradoxical intention.
posted by Jasper Friendly Bear at 3:27 PM on August 12, 2007


just a suggestion - but why not talk to your vicar or priest? sounds like you might trust them, and i suspect they would be glad to help.
posted by andrew cooke at 3:28 PM on August 12, 2007


Hang in there, buddy. Seconding what IronLizard said about sharing this post, even if it's just with a family member or your clergy. Without getting too theological about this, any Christian worth their salt will at least try and take the time to listen and hopefully be compassionate about your struggles.

And PLEASE remember this: you are not alone and you will get through this. In times of trouble, I have often been comforted by the words of the great Frederick Douglass: "Without struggle, there is no progress."

[you should pick a less forboding username next time :-)]
posted by dhammond at 3:30 PM on August 12, 2007


No one else is going to tell you this, and I expect to be attacked for saying this, but in my opinion, as long as you're a Conservative Christian, this won't end and you will be in pain forever (unless you can find a concoction of drugs powerful enough to put you into a state where you can't feel it, but is that really living?) because it's a fundamentally contradictory lifestyle that lends itself to this type of pain.

My advice:

1. Get an Ativan prescription which will help you get your panic disorder under control. It will go away very quickly.

2. Dump religion* and conservatism, and explore life in loving and productive ways that make you feel good (volunteer at a hospital, join a gym, make every interesting thing you can find on instructibles.com, go teach in The Gambia, etc.).


* That was Jesus's advice as well, in my opinion — a direct path to experiencing the divine and a simple, loving, and accepting religion.
posted by glider at 3:32 PM on August 12, 2007


Response by poster: @glider

My religion is simple, and it helps me a lot. To be honest, it was the only reason I didn't attempt suicide a few years ago, and that would be the last thing I would ever do. Thanks for your opinions though.
posted by CliffDiving44 at 3:39 PM on August 12, 2007


Response by poster: @dhammond

My username is related to a song by +44, not suicide, so don't worry.
posted by CliffDiving44 at 3:40 PM on August 12, 2007


Response by poster: @ Jasper Friendly Bear

I've recently begun trying Certain Dri, but it doesn't seem to help. I'll continue trying these types of things though, and I was on thyroid medicine, and I'm cutting it out because I think it may be causing me to sweat.
posted by CliffDiving44 at 3:47 PM on August 12, 2007


Best answer: Are you supposed to be on thyroid meds (perhaps because of a malfunctioning thyroid?)? If so, please stay on them. In fact, depending on what condition of thyroid problem you have, you might want to consult your doctor about it. You may need an increase or a decrease in meds. I can see the depression being related to hypothyriodism, whereas the sweating could be hyperthyriodism. Anyhoo, if they are prescription meds and you have been diagnosed with a thyroid problem, don't cut them out. Also, while you are at your doctor's office discussing what you should do about your thyroid meds, you should ask them if they have any prescription antiperspirants. I've known a bunch of people who use them, and *damn* they are effective.

Good luck.

Oh, ps, I have anxiety/panic type stuff too. Email's in the profile if you would like to ask a medical semi-professional (nursing student close to your age) about anything.
posted by nursegracer at 3:54 PM on August 12, 2007


Response by poster: Thank you all for your advice. I'm going to look into seeing another psychologist, and hopefully I'll be able to either show him/her this post or open up. I'll find a way, and if I get prescription antiperspirants and they work, that will help tremendously with my anxiety. Thank you again, I really appreciate it.
posted by CliffDiving44 at 4:17 PM on August 12, 2007


Please note that excessive sweating can be linked to adrenal problems. Also, if you should be on thyroid replacement but your adrenals aren't treated and supported first, that can cause all sorts of unpleasant physical and psychological problems. This often overlooked in "modern" medicine.

I'm aware of this site: STTM

And for reference, their forums are also good; mental health (directly impacted by the endocrine axis) is here.

Take this caution, please. Do not underestimate the power of these hormones, and take care not to be treated with meds for ancillary problems if the underlying cause is not addressed.
posted by vers at 4:31 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Like lampshade, I can relate to your apprehensions about getting help for this.

Definitely try another psychologist, and maybe you can start out by simply telling them that you find it extremely difficult to open up. If you go to a doctor/therapist whose help doesn't truly help you, then keep searching until you find one who does.

You sound really overwhelmed by things in your life (and who wouldn't be?). Maybe it will help if you focus on one or two things at a time. Like first getting the prescription for antiperspirants and finding a new psychologist. Once you have taken those two steps, then you can think about your first appt. with the psychologist, and how you're going to talk to him/her about how it's hard for you to open up. Maybe later on you can visualize talking to your older sister about this stuff, and then building up the courage to have that conversation. Take it slow, though...trying to do everything at once is impossible, anyway.

Rumination can be a big part of the depression experience. Try to get away from that as much as you can. Distract yourself with things you like to do. Realize that most people are not thinking about you (or judging you) nearly as much as you imagine. We're all too busy worrying about ourselves, you know?

Above all, be kind to yourself. Take care of yourself. This can be hard to do when you're feeling like this, and it might even sound silly. I have found, though, that changing my attitude ("I'm going to treat myself with compassion, rather than being judgmental and harsh to myself") actually helps. Sometimes it helps to think about how you'd treat someone close to you (parent, friend, sibling, etc.) who felt the way you're feeling now. Then, treat yourself that way.

I feel for you...it's no fun feeling how you are right now. It's great that you've been trying to address the problems, though - keep trying, and don't give up. You'll make it.
posted by splendid animal at 4:45 PM on August 12, 2007


I recommend (along with the other good advice already posted) more drinking with your friends. No, really. At your age, there's no harm in lushing it up a bit.

Obviously, you'll swap one problem for another if you end up relying on it, but the majority of people are not rendered alcoholic by drinking at 19.
posted by kmennie at 4:57 PM on August 12, 2007


If you're not in a small group or fellowship group I highly, highly recommend getting involved in one. Monsters live in the dark and if you get involved with a group of like-minded believers who will support you and not judge you, you can tell them exactly what you told us. Telling your secrets is enormously healing. The Christian life is based on this, in my opinion. Intervarsity is a big campus fellowship group, but if you are involved in a church there is probably something similar.
posted by selfmedicating at 5:04 PM on August 12, 2007


Best answer: I know you said you've tried everything, but have you tried everything?

What I mean is, getting therapy and taking medications is not the same as getting therapy that works for you and taking medications that work for you. You say you've tried every anti-depressant out there, which you probably do mean at face value, but you haven't described any therapy you've gotten. Have you tried a number of different therapists with a number of different approaches?

And lifestyle changes? The benefits of a healthy diet and especially excercise, in the morning, for someone with depression can be very great. And I realize getting yourself to exercise might be very difficult, but maybe not. And how about various types of social situations? It may be difficult to be in social situations around people you know, but how about at meetings of some sort where you don't know people all that well, so that there is a different kind of pressure (I know it may seem counterintuitive, but who knows? And that's the point: try everything. Or I find it helpful to just go places, like a park or coffee shop, where there are people who I have no intention of talking to. But that way I get out, am around people, but feel little pressure.

By now hopefully you see where I'm heading with this. Don't just go to therapy. Try to find therapy that works for you. Likewise for medications, lifestyle changes, ways of approaching people about it, etc.

Also, seconding splendid animal on tackling one or two things at a time. Obviously trying everything may be a very lengthy process, that seems daunting, and rightfully so. But chances are (I think), you know one or two things that work, and that you can handle, right now. Start with those. Then work on finding a third thing, and a fourth, and so on.

Best of luck.
posted by gauchodaspampas at 5:14 PM on August 12, 2007


Response by poster: @gauchodaspampas

I've done that type of therapy a lot. I've gone to Barnes & Noble just to look around and to be around people, and I feel so happy doing that. I go bowling with friends and do other things with them, but the sweating is what's really holding me back. I think I'll talk to my doctor about the prescription antiperspirants first, and keep working on the Panic Disorder, and then hopefully that will go away and I'll have the confidence I need to.. ask a girl out/meet new people/get closer to my friends and family. I'm convinced I can beat this, but it gets very discouraging at times. Thanks for your advice.
posted by CliffDiving44 at 5:29 PM on August 12, 2007


I'm not sure what form of conservative Christianity you belong to, but some of them can be quite judgmental about individual differences or perceived weaknesses. Depression and anxiety may be perceived as weakness of faith. This may not be your situation at all, but if you feel you cannot talk to the people close to you about your depression, then I wonder if this might apply to you. If so, you may have to look outside your community for support.

You've probably read some of the threads here about depression and and seen the various self-help books and suggestions. Finding a good medical doctor is where I'd start as well. Let me throw in a new book I'm reading now "The Mindful Way Through Depression" by Williams, Tesdale, Segal, and Kabat-Zinn. It includes some meditative exercises to bring the mind out of the rumination habit to a fuller appreciation of the life we are living at the moment.
posted by DarkForest at 5:31 PM on August 12, 2007


If you do have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, it might help to educate yourself on what that actually is. A lot of assholes misinformed people still think of it as a psychosomatic disease from the late 80s that only overprivileged women get, when it is in fact now well established as an actual (though still medically baffling) physical condition, more in the spectrum of immune disorders like AIDS. It won't respond to the same treatments as Depression and Anxiety disorders, though it certainly can exacerbate them when present.
posted by Lentrohamsanin at 5:43 PM on August 12, 2007


A relative I'm very close to suffers from panic attacks, mostly under control though they occasionally recur. When they first started the two things that seemed to do the most good were relaxation and breathing exercises provided by a therapist, and an anxiety disorder group that his therapist also connected him to. It was really helpful for him to be able to talk and listen to people who could relate to his experiences. And people with more experience had good ideas about coping strategies.

Unless they've proven to be unreliable or judgmental, I hope you'll try to get past your anxiety about opening up to your family. You have to remember that the idea that something terrible will happen if you reveal the troubles you're having is itself a product of your anxiety.

It might help to think about who you've had the closest and easiest relationship with, and starting with them. They can then help you opening up to the rest of the family. If you family are decent, compassionate people they are not going to think ill of you, they are just going to want to help you solve your problems. It wasn't always easy for me to understand what my relative was going through, but all I have ever felt for him is compassion and a desire to help, and I'd like to think that being able to provide a more objective viewpoint on his situation, but from a loving perspective, did some good: we have talked a lot about his condition and I think they were useful conversations for him.
posted by nanojath at 7:06 PM on August 12, 2007


One other thing - please be VERY careful about self-medicating with alcohol. It cannot ultimately provide any long term benefit and it is habit-forming and unhealthy in excess.
posted by nanojath at 7:12 PM on August 12, 2007


Yes, listen to nanojath. Self medicating with alcohol is how many a wino lost everything and died in a ditch. Most examples aren't that extreme, but you don't want to be anywhere in that spectrum. Remember you took this step to get help, I think you're going to be fine in the long run.
posted by IronLizard at 7:39 PM on August 12, 2007


Best answer: I'm so sorry that you're going through all of this. Having gone through the same type of thing for years, I know how awful it can be, and it feels like it will never end. I, too, am a conservative Christian, and my feelings of shame about how depressed I was kept me from getting help. I assumed that God hated me because I wasn't a "good enough Christian" and that others would too. But when I did finally talk to some others, they didn't feel like it was a huge spiritual failing on my part. As someone said upthread, depression and panic disorders, etc. are neurologically based, and can be treated.

Also, you said you would like to talk to your sister about this, but feel like you can't. Maybe, like I was, you're afraid that she might judge you because of what you're going through, but that might not be true. Why not try to open up a little and let her know how much you are hurting, and see how she reacts? She may really surprise you. I was so convinced that if people knew what I was really like, they would hate me, but that was my depression talking, and it turned out not to be true. Also, I would agree with the person who suggested that you talk to your pastor. Most churches these days are quite attuned to helping people who are depressed.

You can get better - I know it doesn't seem like it, but you can. I cling to Jer. 29:11-13.

Best wishes.
posted by la petite marie at 7:53 PM on August 12, 2007 [1 favorite]


Please do not make the error that some ostensibly Christian folk do of blaming those who suffer (yourself in this case) for their own misfortunes. In the parable of Job, God condemned Job's friends for that assumption.

I have an anecdote that may not be related, but you might want to rule it out.

I dated a woman for a while who seemed bipolar, with depression very frequently in the morning, and anxiety attacks often. It turned out that her anxiety issues were usually triggered by hypoglycemia. Whether or not that is the case with you, healthy eating and daily exercise can't hurt.

Good luck.
posted by BrotherCaine at 2:33 AM on August 13, 2007


A sympathectomy for facial hyperhidrosis radically improved my career, social life, and mood generally. You should at least find out to what extent the sweating is just a physical and not a psychological issue. Some people just sweat a lot.
posted by Mr. Justice at 4:50 AM on August 13, 2007


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