Quitters never win?

June 15, 2007 7:42 AM

I'm about to resign from my job. The problem is I only started two months ago. How do I break the news?

I like the people. They like me. It's a small start-up company with under 50 people. I do software development. I'm a salaried employee.

I joined because I was told there was a big project that I would specifically be working on, but it's not even on the radar. Instead, beyond really basic coding projects, I've been asked to work on documentation, research "projects", and other things that could have just as easily been handled by an office temp. Basically, I get the feeling they don't know what to do with me and yet I'm discouraged from doing things that aren't explicitly assigned.

The good news is, I was offered another job at a large, well-known company. It fits my background a lot more closely, and I know some of the people there already so I know what to expect. I've accepted an offer and it starts in a little over 2 weeks.

The bad news is, I now have to tell the people at my current company (who I really like), that I'm resigning. They will not be expecting it what-so-ever. Further complicating the matter, there is a planned launch at the end of the month. All my projects (including the aformentioned) are either done, or at least 99% of the way there.

I admit that it's bad timing, but I'd like to not completely burn bridges with the people there if at all possible, or at least break the news gently and walk away peacefully. This is definitely a "It's not you, it's me" type situation. I'd be happy to give two weeks notice and stick it out, however I'm torn on whether or not they'd just ask me to leave same day.

How do I break the news to them? When do I break the news to them? What are the chances they'll want me to stick around if I give them notice?

posted by anonymous to Work & Money (13 answers total)

If you are on your full contract, then give notice according to the terms of th contract. Be businesslike and professional, don't sound angsty and tortured about the decision unless prompted. This is a business relatioship you have with this company, not a bunch of friends you're letting down, however much you might like them. It is bad luck for them. These things happen. Once notice is handed in, work like the blazes to ensure that you are not screwing them over before this launch. That's not an obligation, but it's common courtesy and will make this company less likely to stink up your references. You may be obliged to work your full notice - you signed a contract. Your new employer should understand this, the would expect the same.

If you are still on probation, however, you might be able to do without notice. This is worth checking.
posted by WPW at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2007

Tell them now. Don't wait for the project launch. Tell them that the match between you and your role within the company were not a good fit despite the fact that you enjoyed the opportunity to work with them. Make it short and polite.

You're only two months in; they've not invested much into you as an employee. In some companies, you'd still be in a probationary period in which either you or the company could easily walk away.
posted by onhazier at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2007

If your projects are 99% done, then you are not screwing them over too much. Just tell them although you love the company and people, you need more challenging work and you are leaving out of consideration for professional development. You can be honest with them about everything you said here, it sounds pretty reasonable.

Talk to your boss and tell him you'd like to stick around and finish what you started, and that you can tie up all the loose ends over the next couple weeks. Go in with a written outline that covers what your next two weeks would look like and how that makes his job easier.
posted by voidcontext at 7:57 AM on June 15, 2007

I would make sure you have the new offer in writing (I think there was a recent AksMeFi dealing with a withdrawn offer), and just tell your boss that you are leaving. It sounds like from what you've written that you aren't integral to company in the way you were expecting to be. During your exit interviews, just discuss candidly and professionally what your expectations were when signing on to the job.
posted by chookibing at 7:58 AM on June 15, 2007

It's okay -- this sort of stuff happens all the time. I think employees quit more often during the first three months than probably at any other time. It's perfectly normal and probably even expected, especially if you are younger. Don't fret -- this has happened to your company dozens of times before. It's NOT personal, for either you or for them.

So be polite about your resignation, tell them you got a great offer at your dream job that you just can't turn down, that you've really enjoyed your time there and are regretfully leaving, etc. Don't mention that you have any dissatisfactions or that you weren't doing what you wanted to do. Be friendly and upbeat in your exit interview.

After two months, don't expect anyone to cry for you. But you can remain as a pleasant memory in people's minds, someone they wish had stayed longer -- thats about as good as it gets in life anyway.
posted by bluenausea at 8:02 AM on June 15, 2007

The explanation above is excellent. Give them the same explanation, just the highlights. Be very specific about your positive feelings and experience, but the work isn't what everyone expected, through no one's fault. Be available for wrapping up loose ends, but don't be surprised if they want you to leave now. Don't be apologetic; in the current world of employment, employees are a commodity, so companies can't complain that jobs are a commodity, too.
posted by theora55 at 8:11 AM on June 15, 2007

Be friendly and upbeat in your exit interview.

This defeats the whole purpose of the exit interview and does a disservice to the company. I don't think you should be an indignant ass in the interview, but you should absolutely find a way of diplomatically stating your reasons for leaving. It will help them in the future.
posted by xmutex at 8:12 AM on June 15, 2007

1. First, no matter when you leave a company, you'll always leave something undone, so don't sweat that.

2. Give at least two weeks notice. It's not required but it's considered the base minimum of "I'm not trying to fuck you", and if the new company can't wait those two weeks, then you don't want to work for them.

3. A posture of "I've been here about 60 days, I like the people I work with, but I don't think the company is a fit for where I'm at in my career" is the polite/profesional way of handling your specific situation. If you're in an at-will employment state you can throw in a polite mention of that as well.

4. There's a good chance they'll either try and guilt you into staying longer, or guilt you into providing extended support. You don't owe them that, but if you feel you have to then set specific dates and specific things you'll do, and in no uncertain terms leave the management of existing projects to them.
posted by alana at 8:17 AM on June 15, 2007

Be friendly and upbeat in your exit interview.

I actually think this is important for the whole not burning bridges "it's not you, it's me" part.
posted by onepapertiger at 8:26 AM on June 15, 2007

Alan's #4 was the hardest part for me.

Be ready for them to make excuses for why they've been having you do the menial work and how "just around the corner" all the work that you really wanted to do is coming. That was the hardest part for me. I liked everyone but didn't like what I was being asked to do. I was honest with them and they did their best to make me feel like what I wanted was coming up and they needed me.
posted by cmm at 8:48 AM on June 15, 2007

I was in a similar situation about a year ago. I'd been with the company 6 months but I wasnt really being challenged. The work was mundane and there were no deadlines so everything was really slow paced. I got an email offering me a job at a startup on a lot more money and the work would be a lot more challenging.

It was horrible but I went to see the boss and we sat down and I explained I'd been offered a great opportunity to get in on the ground floor on a major project and that I really didnt want to leave them because they were all such wonderful people but I had to go with the best interests of my career. They were really understanding and said that if I didnt go I'd always be wondering 'what if' - which is true and they said if it didnt work out with the new company I could always come back.

you say they wont be expecting it but if its a small company then someone will have noticed your boredom and obviously the issue of you not doing the job you were hired for will be in someones mind I'm sure.

You just have to be honest and straight forward with them. Hand your notice in straight away so they can look to replacing you.
posted by missmagenta at 9:08 AM on June 15, 2007

Agreed that you should move forward as soon as possible with informing them of your new opportunity. I also doubt they'll be shocked. In my experience, a company knows when they hire someone whether the "big projects" they promise are actually on the horizon, or if they're just using them as a carrot. It happened to me in my last corporate job, and I stayed for two years doing gruntwork.
posted by justonegirl at 9:09 AM on June 15, 2007

Hey, I just did that. Not from a job that I liked, but from one that apparently did not anticipate my leaving. Keep it positive, and if your reasons for not being satisfied with the current job come up, keep them on you as much as possible. "You aren't providing enough opportunities" can sound accusatory, even if it is true, and it gives them an opening to entice you with promises of those opportunities. Be clear on your needs and on the fact that this isn't a negotiation or an "I'm leaving unless you ___" conversation. It's final. Be polite and express your desire to work with them in the future, if something that would meet both your needs becomes available (but only if it's true!). Take care of yourself and don't feel guilty.

My former boss was glad that I took the time to speak to her and was willing to put in more time to finish things up. It sounds like you are a good employee and are taking all of the steps that you need to. If your current employers don't recognize that, it's through no fault of your own. Good luck!
posted by ramenopres at 2:55 PM on June 15, 2007