Corporate America's got it's grubby little hands on the internet dating sites. What do I do now?
June 1, 2007 10:53 AM   Subscribe

Are there still dating websites that feature actual interesting people? seems to be perfect if you want the nice guy/nice car/nice job/no personality type. But what if you want the edgy/smart/spiritual/black-girl dating white boy type?

Before Springstreet snatched up all the good sites, you could rely on places like Nerve, etc. What now? Oh..and yes, I've done Craigslist (not bad but I'm sick of the cock shots) and a couple of the interracial dating sites (interracialmatch, afroromance (yes, that is the real name of the site). So what am I missing?
posted by notjustfoxybrown to Human Relations (28 answers total) 19 users marked this as a favorite
How about consumating or okcupid?
posted by MsMolly at 11:00 AM on June 1, 2007

I'm a member of Consumating, and it really isn't the same as what it used to be. Most of the interesting people have been replaced by scene kids, and it is more of a popularity contest than ever. It may be worth a try, but don't expect much.
posted by Loto at 11:07 AM on June 1, 2007

I had success with okcupid, but after meeting my wife on there haven't tried it (been about two years). It's free, so what's the worse that can happen?
posted by drezdn at 11:08 AM on June 1, 2007

There's also Plentyoffish but it's not as nice as OkCupid.

Good luck; I've tried most of them and they just aren't that hot (though I am curious about the interracial ones and will have to look into them). I think it's become too much of a "water water everywhere" problem.
posted by mjbraun at 11:10 AM on June 1, 2007

there's also, although consumating is cute, and okcupid has more of the 'matching compatibility' factor going for it.
posted by rmm at 11:20 AM on June 1, 2007

But what if you want the edgy/smart/spiritual/black-girl dating white boy type?
You in DC, by any chance? My wife met a guy exactly like that via the Washington CityPaper ads. Before that, though, other women met him via You just have to look carefully, I guess, to find such a wonderful, amazing, and, of course, modest guy.
posted by MrMoonPie at 11:31 AM on June 1, 2007

I honestly met my edgy-tattooed-non religious-artist-foriegn film loving-football hating fiancee on Yahoo personals. It took a while and, like looking for good used records, you have to weed through a lot of trash.

And I've seen ads for but haven't looked for obvious reasons.
posted by santojulieta at 11:53 AM on June 1, 2007

I'm also a black woman who goes for white guys and while I don't really date, I have met some really interesting people on okcupid.
posted by eunoia at 12:03 PM on June 1, 2007

there's also --via projects even
posted by acro at 12:08 PM on June 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

I've tried most of them too and really did have the best luck with Craigslist. The thing about CL is that you have to really make it work for you and you do need to weed a lot of people out. Be very specific in your ad about what you're looking for and be prepared to be relentless in your deletions. Match totally sucks in my view and I STILL can't get those bastards to stop emailing me. Lavalife was amusing but really just entertainment. Okcupid was pretty good, I have to agree.

You might also take a look at my similar question from last year.
posted by otherwordlyglow at 12:15 PM on June 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

Yay Impersonals!
(Thanks for the shout out.)
posted by the jam at 12:16 PM on June 1, 2007

Sorry, I screwed up the url: here it is.
posted by the jam at 12:19 PM on June 1, 2007

Have you tried Metafilter?
I hear there are a couple edgy/smart/spiritual/white-boy dating black-girl types.
posted by Baby_Balrog at 12:34 PM on June 1, 2007

Dating is a lot like job hunting. You will find some decent options on the Internet, but the real gems will only be unearthed if you take the effort to seek them out.

Talk to friends, relatives, and co-workers to see if they know anyone suitable. Go out to parties if invited. Talk to people at said parties. If someone seems interesting when you're out and about, take the chance to talk to her. It's a lot scarier to actually approach people than to just initiate an e-mail exchange, but I find that I meet a lot better quality of woman face to face. Like the hidden job market, the best people often don't advertise that they are available.

The worst that can happen is that the person is with someone or is not interested. It's not the end of the world.
posted by reenum at 12:35 PM on June 1, 2007 [1 favorite]

"And I've seen ads for but haven't looked for obvious reasons."

Don't waste your time. sucked so bad that I demanded a refund.
posted by drstein at 12:38 PM on June 1, 2007

Maybe it's just my end of the country or something, but I've found okcupid to be chock full of polyamory people, to the near exclusion of other interests. Which is fine, but it's not exactly my thing. I also suggest the local alterna-paper, assuming they haven't had their dating operation acquired by Springstreet.
posted by aramaic at 12:50 PM on June 1, 2007

Response by poster: Baby_Balrog: If said edgy/smart/spiritual/white-boy dating black-girl types lived anywhere in the Southwest, preferably near Phoenix, I'd say...where are you????
posted by notjustfoxybrown at 1:03 PM on June 1, 2007

Nthing Okcupid: I met my edgy-tattooed-atheist-super intelligent-hot boyfriend there. Their matching percentage test really works well (I doubted it for a year, then I finally met my bf in person. We have been dating for 1.5 years now).
posted by nursegracer at 1:46 PM on June 1, 2007

Well, the first thing I did when I saw this question was check your profile to see where you might be located, but it wasn't listed. Alas, Phoenix is a little far from SoCal to make dating practical, but it couldn't hurt to make it easier for people from MeFi to contact you.

Interestingly enough, the last black-girl-dating white-boy type I was with recently moved to Phoenix to be with a guy she met on, but she's a better fit for those mainstream guys anyway. :)
posted by InfidelZombie at 1:49 PM on June 1, 2007

Another vote for OKCupid, even with their crummy new redesign. The site's humorous attitude creates a good environment.
posted by qvtqht at 3:02 PM on June 1, 2007

How about ?
posted by lalochezia at 3:48 PM on June 1, 2007

Response by poster: Infidel..You make a good point. I'm update my profile. Thanks for the tip. Looks like I should check out OKCupid and Impersonals. Keep'em coming folks. I am celebrating my late 30s birthday today and feeling a little like "Um..OK..he can come out of hiding now."
posted by notjustfoxybrown at 3:57 PM on June 1, 2007

Response by poster: that should be "updating." Wont' get too many smart men talking like that.
posted by notjustfoxybrown at 3:58 PM on June 1, 2007

I hate to say it, because I have mixed feelings about social networking sites, but friendster and facebook seem to be pretty good for this kind of thing. I met my brilliant wife on friendster, and there are more people hooking up on facebook than you can shake a stick at, these days. And you can delete your carefully pruned account when you acquire a sexy-manz.
posted by Lieber Frau at 4:12 PM on June 1, 2007

I met someone through the jam's, immediately after posting his project to the blue. She found the site when she saw my FPP lurking on MeFi, and later signed up. Webcest?
posted by blasdelf at 6:07 PM on June 1, 2007

After trying the online thing (I like okcupid and CL), I met my wonderful boyfriend at a meetup. It looks like there are tons of meetups in Phoenix - go to some and flirt like crazy is my advice! A lot of people at meetups seem to be looking for love.

Happy birthday!!
posted by hazyjane at 1:28 AM on June 2, 2007

Impersonals would be better if searching for a zip code consistently yielded profiles of people who lived in the specified distance near that zip code. Instead, it yields some correct results and others from random places. Until they get this under control (and it looks like a really cool site otherwise), I'd go for OKCupid, the only intelligent and free dating website that I know of.
posted by jejune at 12:59 PM on June 2, 2007

FYI, you might want to have a look at this new site, conceived by eye magazine's Sasha von Bon Bon. It's not fully functional yet, but should be interesting.
posted by greatgefilte at 12:08 AM on June 3, 2007

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