How do you deal with casual racism/prejudice?

May 27, 2006 1:25 PM

How do you deal with casual racism/prejudice without starting trouble?

I moved to a new area a while ago, and at least twice a day people of race Y mutter insults, try and stare me out or knock into me deliberately. I can only assume it's cause I'm a young guy of race X. Either that or some other feature of how I look.

I 'd like to ignore them as I don't care what they think, but it wears you down if it's happening all the time. It's a bad area - not that I won't stand up for myself, but I'm not really keen on escalating any situations.

posted by lunkfish to Human Relations (28 answers total)

There was an anecdote of a youngish black man who was tired of having white people (women especially) move to the other side of the street while walking near him. So he learned to whistle classical music. This comforted people.

So, maybe have some way of making it immediately obvious that you "fit" this "skin color y" culture, or are not a threat? Because I know nothing about what these cultures are, or even your geographic location, I can't in good conscience suggest any.
posted by bilabial at 1:38 PM on May 27, 2006

Aggressive friendliness? You could try and catch people's eye as they approach, call out a cheery "Good afternoon! How are you today?"

Bonus: If you bump this up a notch you'll come across as crazy.
posted by LarryC at 2:10 PM on May 27, 2006

Yeah, I have to say that I think it's important to know whether race X is traditionally the oppressor or the oppressed.
posted by TonyRobots at 2:11 PM on May 27, 2006

I don't mean to ignore that your question is about racism. So please don't take my comments as dismissing the racism you feel. But could the problem possibly also be due to your age, and that you might be perceived in a threatening way because of that?

In my personal outlook, the fact that you are a young guy, regardless of race, would give me pause if I was in a "bad area." Not that I would bother crossing the street, but I would certainly pay closer attention to you.

Some random suggestions - carry a book (especially a textbook?) with you, listen to music on headphones, carry a briefcase, dress a little more "older" to try to be perceived as less threatening?

Can you ask a friend to tell you honestly if you walk around with a mean or grim or "ready for a fight" expression on your face? (Do people ever tell you to smile, even when you feel perfectly happy inside? Maybe that's just me...) I'm not saying walk around smiling all the time, but at least try to maintain a somewhat pleasant expression when you are out in public.

I admit these are superficial suggestions. I am unqualified to comment on exactly how to combat the racism at a deeper level.
posted by SuperSquirrel at 2:13 PM on May 27, 2006

Response by poster: Nah, the suggestions are relevant. I have been told I look mean, but I can't really do much about it consciously. Just got one of those faces I spose. To be honest though, noone round here looks happy so I don't think that's the main reason.

I could change how I look, but I just think it would be crap to do that just cause of some idiots. For some reason, smarter clothes are more likely to get me hassle.

I don't think I could pull off the aggressive friendliness unfortunatley.
posted by lunkfish at 2:29 PM on May 27, 2006

I notice you posted the question in a race neutral format, but the answer probably depends on what the two races and cultures are.

I can envision the questioner as a young black man in a white neighborhood, a young jewish man in a black neighborhood, a young asian man in a latino neighborhood, etc.
posted by justkevin at 2:32 PM on May 27, 2006

I've been in your position plenty of times. You will get used to your new area, and right now you probably just appear extra-foreign because you're nervous. Be calm and relaxed, and greet strangers with whatever your normal greeting is in neighborhoods where you feel less out of place (for me that's eye contact with a minor smile or nod).

Eye contact is really great if it feels natural (and you don't have the problem I have as a girl, which is when guys I make eye contact with think that's an invitation to follow & harrass me -- but actually those guys are the same issue as the people muttering at you, since they're just trying to get a reaction and the best way to neutralize them is to walk on by).
posted by allterrainbrain at 2:42 PM on May 27, 2006

Say "god loves you" to them and smile. Watch them feel like shit.
posted by 517 at 3:47 PM on May 27, 2006

these people are being aggressive towards lunkfish. carrying books or whistling classical music probably isn't going to do so much to help that out. i'm with allterrainbrain. if this is just a neighborhood thing, eventually they'll get used to you - "oh, its just that ol' race X guy again."
posted by soma lkzx at 4:03 PM on May 27, 2006

My feeling is that you shoudn't have to change an aspect of yourself to please people who are making you feel uncomfortable - they're the ones with the problem. But I do appreciate like you said, it's wearing if this happens every day and you'd like to avoid it if possible.
Perhaps just (like others said) catch their eye and smile a genuine, unthreatening smile? Sometimes if I feel people giving me dirty looks I give them a direct smile, and it seems to shame them out of their rudeness!!
posted by schmoo at 4:03 PM on May 27, 2006

It makes a tremendous difference what the races are and whether one of the two (or more) races dominates the neighborhood.
posted by bingo at 4:12 PM on May 27, 2006

I moved to a new area a while ago ... It's a bad area ...

Move out of this bad area. You can reconcile yourself that there are idiots in the world and they shouldn't be able to bring you down. But actively engaging with said idiots if you have the means to leave is just not worth your time, effort and personal safety.
posted by frogan at 4:12 PM on May 27, 2006

Say "god loves you" to them and smile. Watch them feel like shit.

When strangers on the street say this to me, it makes me want to punch them in the face as hard as I can. Something to consider.
posted by bingo at 4:13 PM on May 27, 2006

Yeah, it is only in response to an aggressive or insulting act, never unsolicited. The idea is to react in to the aggression in an unexpected way. I've found it to be very disarming.
posted by 517 at 4:30 PM on May 27, 2006

Move.

This isn't "casual racism" you're running into. It's straight up racist hatred. You said that they're a)insulting you, b)staring you down and c)knocking into you on purpose.

Unless a whole bunch of folks like you suddenly move into the area, you're going to be outnumbered. And you also run the risk of them kicking things up a notch if the current harrassment seems to be ineffective.

The kinds of folks that will go out of their way to act like this are assholes.
posted by drstein at 5:01 PM on May 27, 2006

I guess this all comes down to a worry that there could be a confrontation leading to violence at some point. It sounds like you're trying to avoid this situation, which I applaud.

I think you will have more peace of mind if you decide how this confrontation will unfold ahead of time. I suppose your options include:
1) fighting and winning, even against superiour numbers. This probably involves carrying a weapon that you're willing to use.
2) out-running at least a handful of people.
3) getting your ass beat.

I've had 2 and 3 happen to me once or twice. Choice 1 is so unlikely to work in most cases that I hesitate to even bring it up. But, if it's something you can pull off, perhaps you should think about it.

Choice 2 is not always feasible (like you're stuck on a subway car with some thugs). Choice 3 may be inevitable.

So, I think your best bet is to do everything you can to avoid choice 3. Do not make eye contact. Learn to walk and carry yourself with a sense of urgency, self confidence, and purpose. Do not come off as threatening, but don't come off as a pushover, either.

The worst part about having your ass beat is the surprise factor. You usually don't see it coming, so you're not prepared. Make a conscious effort to not get comfortable in your new surroundings, and to always know which way you're going to run. If you can't run, take steps to minimize the amount of damage the beating is going to do. (curl up in a ball, protect your head, scream like a banshee).

Even in incredibly crummy neighborhoods, these kinds of attacks are pretty rare.
posted by popechunk at 5:11 PM on May 27, 2006

Just ignore it, don't escalate.
posted by delmoi at 7:48 PM on May 27, 2006

I don't think this is a specific race thing, I think it's a young man thing (I'm making the assumption here that the people hassling you are other young men so I could be wrong). You're an obvious outsider in their neighbourhood and they're trying to intimidate you and, yeah, it'll probably stop evantually if you live there long enough, especially if you get to know some of your neighbours.

Of course it may not be worth it to you to deal with the animosity every day. But if it is, I'd probably try to meet more of your neighbours, play a pick up game, volunteer at some neighbourhood thing or just chat to some of the less threatening types like families or old ladies and see how it goes.
posted by fshgrl at 8:52 PM on May 27, 2006

If you look mean, people will think you're mean.

Enjoy life, and smile because of it, is my advice. Then people will think you're happy and won't avoid you.
posted by aubilenon at 9:16 PM on May 27, 2006

I can envision the questioner as a young black man in a white neighborhood, a young jewish man in a black neighborhood, a young asian man in a latino neighborhood, etc.

True. I was having a conversation with a black friend of mine a few years ago, and he made a comment that really stopped me for a bit..
" So I walk through your neighborhood at night - what happens? Nothing, unless a policeman decides to pull me over, thinkin' I'm gonna rob someone. But if you - as a white guy - walk through MY neighborhood at night? Somebody's gonna beat your ass."

I've lived in neighborhoods like this. In Texas, where I am from, I have never had a real problem with this type of thing. ( Yeah, I know, Texas is somewhat known for racist attitudes.) I've lived in some pretty rough neighborhoods in Dallas and Houston, and I always managed to "deal" with the locals.
However, in California, I lived right off of Hollywood Boulevard for a few years, and I feared for my life everytime I walked to my car.
My solution was to move back to Texas - where people weren't so racist.
posted by bradth27 at 10:43 PM on May 27, 2006

The "Frown Power" campaign seemed to do decently, as I recall it was pioneered by Stetson Kennedy.

I can't find a reference, but I read of it in "Freakonomics" as I recall the whole A to Z of the campaign was to react negatively with your face when people would make racist remarks or pro-klan remarks.

Mild, not at all impolite, but definitely conveys the message.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 10:43 PM on May 27, 2006

The 'frown power' campaign is about white people influencing other white people. It has nothing to do with protecting oneself in a dangerous situation.
posted by bingo at 11:26 PM on May 27, 2006

I've travelled pretty extensively in the US (I'm Canadian, and uh, beige-coloured) and the only place anyone ever gave me any shit about anything, or made me feel threatened in any way, was when I was 18 and walking around in central Los Angeles one nice summer day. I didn't really have any idea what to expect, or how to react to it at all. I'm pretty laid-back, but also quite tall, so I never really get any trouble. It was ... eye-opening, at least.

So... uh. I don't know if I'm Race X, Y, or Z here, but I think I can understand how that might make you feel and how the effects would accumulate. You really don't want to cause any trouble, though, I don't think, you'll just draw more attention to yourself, and it won't help a thing.

Find situations around your neighbourhood (perhaps when you're at a store or something) where one might naturally make pointless small-talk, and ... you know, make pointless small-talk with people. Find common ground. I think the best way to approach this would be to make a very strong effort to live in your new community, and show that you're just doing your thing like everyone else there, and you're a okay guy or girl, and don't deserve to be messed with.

I can't really suggest anything about the assholes who are shoving themselves into you on purpose, you just need to avoid them—what are they, teenagers? There's really no reason to bother with physically obnoxious teenagers even if you're not dealing with racism, so you probably just need to avoid them.

This all sort of boils down to people being asshole bullies, it would be the same if you were unusually fat, or unusual in any other way, it just probably cuts more this way because race is such a loaded thing. But treat it the same way. Don't deal with assholes, and get acquainted with the people who aren't. And don't let it get you down.
posted by blacklite at 12:15 AM on May 28, 2006

Oops, misread the question... Yeah frowning would not particularly help.
posted by Matt Oneiros at 1:12 AM on May 28, 2006

It is impossible to tell from this distance but I get the impression this has more to do with territory than race.

If you're a guy in your 20's and you're walking through a bad estate then it's very likely you'll get this kind of hassle from youths. They may toss racist insults at you but really, like the staring and the pushing thats just another way to get to you.

They're proving that they control the area and they're proving themselves to the other members of their crew.

You can reduce the extent to which they do this by making it seem like you may respond if they push you too far, but depending on circumstances this can be very risky.

Generally when you enter the area I think you should make eye contact with them very briefly rather than ignoring them completely just don't hold their stare. After you've done that try to ignore them without giving the impression you're going out of your way to do so. Don't walk too quickly, wear headphones (as long as they're not ipod ones).

It does wear you down but theres not much else you can do. If it's any comfort bear in mind that they probably don't want to fight you, they'll just mess around with you to prove it's their patch. That said, if you do something to a member of the group that causes him to lose face in front of the others he may attack you to regain their respect.

How serious all this is depends on how bad the neighbourhood really is, which area of London are we talking about here?
posted by Olli at 6:38 AM on May 28, 2006

Response by poster: Thanks for the replies. If it was just teenagers I would understand it, but it's middle aged women, working men the lot. That's the baffling bit, cause in London people usually keep themselves to themselves apart from the kids. I'm in East London, a slightly different bit to where I grew up, so I thought I knew the rules of the game. Hmm...
posted by lunkfish at 9:14 AM on May 28, 2006

Strange. If the expectation based on your race is that you're going to be aggressive or untrustworthy, then a polite smile-nod to the middle-aged women and a businesslike nod to the working men should identify you as respectful.

But if it's a neighborhood where the folks are just determined to be rude and ignorant, just ignore it best you can and remind yourself that you have more class than these people.
posted by desuetude at 1:32 PM on May 28, 2006

Could it possibly in any way be because you're not following the "rules" of the sidewalk? Maybe you're taking up too much space, walking too slowly, walking on the wrong side of the sidewalk, not giving the proper right of way?

It certainly wouldn't excuse their racist comments, but it might explain why you're getting bumped into so much. When I'm frustrated by people using the sidewalk badly, I sometimes knock into them (gently!) to remind them there are other people around and they're in the way.

I had a friend who determined the best way to navigate tourist crowds was to look for the negative space between people and head into it, more or less lumping all the peopled space into a undifferentiated mass of "things to avoid." I'm just wondering if a similar strategy would help you here -- it might give you an expression of "I'm actively going somewhere" (because you're scanning for where to walk) rather than a scowl, and it might help you tune out any nasty expressions people are throwing your way (and I bet that the more you expect a nasty reaction from people, the more likely they are to give you one, so this might break the chain a bit?)
posted by occhiblu at 9:54 AM on May 30, 2006