All day, I can’t wait to get home and rest…
March 20, 2025 1:13 PM Subscribe
… as soon as I get home, I’m energetic, restless, and bored. What gives?
Yeah, it sounds from what little you say as if you are either bored at or dislike your job. Maybe explore that a little bit?
posted by pdb at 1:32 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]
posted by pdb at 1:32 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]
You're bored when stuck at work doing what you don't want to do. Once you get to leave, you have possibilities and options! I do this all the time.
Don't ask me why "go home and watch shit on my computer and read" at work vs. at home is slightly different, mind you.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:34 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]
Don't ask me why "go home and watch shit on my computer and read" at work vs. at home is slightly different, mind you.
posted by jenfullmoon at 1:34 PM on March 20 [1 favorite]
A different approach to the issue from others. I don't know whether you have a job that is primarily physical labor, or mental labor or both. My job is mental labor so my answer comes from that perspective.
During my workday I need to manage anxiety, demand avoidance, my emotions, executive function challenges, focus issues, and produce intellectual output. I need to do it in a balance and nuanced way, which requires a lot of hard thinking and self-restraint. I crave a break or an outlet or a relief from that, and so I crave getting out of work, watching TV, relaxing, reading a book, whatever kinds of things do the equivalent of putting my brain in a happy little hammock.
But it turns out that once I am out of work and no longer forced to perform mentally, then I am .... well, no longer as tired mentally. Then my body's natural need for stimulation, movement, interesting things, etc. rears its head. Continuing to be sedentary doesn't appeal anymore. I can get irritable and grumpy around this, because the emotional whiplash of "I thought I just wanted to chill but now it feels like I am crawling out of my skin" is confusing and frustrating.
The answer, for me, is doing something I want to do that is at least slightly physical and which satisfies my senses in some way. The past few days, it's been an inexorable urge to go do yardwork. Lawyer all day, shovel mulch all night (while listening to happy music, watching the sunset, seeing the little plant sprouts, etc.). This keeps me busy but I am delighted, I am resting my mind, while giving my body the physical outlet that its hyperactive nature very much wants and needs.
During your day, see if you can figure out whether it is your MIND that is tired or your BODY that is tired. That will help you know which one of them needs what kind of help.
As an add on, keep in mind that some of us were raised in a culture that has big feelings around the Protestant work ethic type stuff. If your family environment often punished inactivity, resting, doing nothing, relaxing ... or denigrated it in some way ... then it may actually just be hard to give yourself permission to rest.
posted by fennario at 1:45 PM on March 20 [24 favorites]
During my workday I need to manage anxiety, demand avoidance, my emotions, executive function challenges, focus issues, and produce intellectual output. I need to do it in a balance and nuanced way, which requires a lot of hard thinking and self-restraint. I crave a break or an outlet or a relief from that, and so I crave getting out of work, watching TV, relaxing, reading a book, whatever kinds of things do the equivalent of putting my brain in a happy little hammock.
But it turns out that once I am out of work and no longer forced to perform mentally, then I am .... well, no longer as tired mentally. Then my body's natural need for stimulation, movement, interesting things, etc. rears its head. Continuing to be sedentary doesn't appeal anymore. I can get irritable and grumpy around this, because the emotional whiplash of "I thought I just wanted to chill but now it feels like I am crawling out of my skin" is confusing and frustrating.
The answer, for me, is doing something I want to do that is at least slightly physical and which satisfies my senses in some way. The past few days, it's been an inexorable urge to go do yardwork. Lawyer all day, shovel mulch all night (while listening to happy music, watching the sunset, seeing the little plant sprouts, etc.). This keeps me busy but I am delighted, I am resting my mind, while giving my body the physical outlet that its hyperactive nature very much wants and needs.
During your day, see if you can figure out whether it is your MIND that is tired or your BODY that is tired. That will help you know which one of them needs what kind of help.
As an add on, keep in mind that some of us were raised in a culture that has big feelings around the Protestant work ethic type stuff. If your family environment often punished inactivity, resting, doing nothing, relaxing ... or denigrated it in some way ... then it may actually just be hard to give yourself permission to rest.
posted by fennario at 1:45 PM on March 20 [24 favorites]
Avoiding being in the moment. At work and at home.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:18 PM on March 20 [3 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:18 PM on March 20 [3 favorites]
You spend all day wishing you were home, then you get home and you're jumpy and bored. That doesn't sound like a fulfilled, happy person. I think it's time to ask yourself some deep questions. Try to figure out what you really want to do with your time off, and it might also be time to look for a new job.
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:21 PM on March 20 [2 favorites]
posted by Ursula Hitler at 3:21 PM on March 20 [2 favorites]
Honestly it just sounds like you need some hobbies and activities outside of work? Like, I would love to have energy after work, so I can actually do the stuff I like to do. What do you like to do?
posted by btfreek at 3:26 PM on March 20 [2 favorites]
posted by btfreek at 3:26 PM on March 20 [2 favorites]
One possibility is that there are too many options. You spend all day putting extra weight on what you will choose to do when you get home, when you have me time. Then when it comes around, what do you do? The world is your oyster, and that can be really stressful!
If this is what's causing your issue, finding a Responsibility can be useful. This can be a fun project that takes multiple sessions to complete. Or it can be a group you are committed to like a volunteer organization or a pickleball team. It can be a commitment to something purely fun like watching every movie in some list of cool movies. No matter which of these you choose, the decision on what to do is made in advance so when you get off of work you can do it and enjoy it.
Another possibility, as someone said above, is simply too much coffee. In that case, I recommend a relaxing cocktail or CBD drink.
posted by tofu_crouton at 3:47 PM on March 20 [3 favorites]
If this is what's causing your issue, finding a Responsibility can be useful. This can be a fun project that takes multiple sessions to complete. Or it can be a group you are committed to like a volunteer organization or a pickleball team. It can be a commitment to something purely fun like watching every movie in some list of cool movies. No matter which of these you choose, the decision on what to do is made in advance so when you get off of work you can do it and enjoy it.
Another possibility, as someone said above, is simply too much coffee. In that case, I recommend a relaxing cocktail or CBD drink.
posted by tofu_crouton at 3:47 PM on March 20 [3 favorites]
Do you live alone? Are you possibly feeling lonely and having a social urge when you get home, so that you can't relax and rest?
posted by lizard music at 7:33 PM on March 20 [2 favorites]
posted by lizard music at 7:33 PM on March 20 [2 favorites]
Can you break up your day at work with physical activity? Either a run at lunchtime or getting in some 15 minute walks around the building? Might burn off a little of the energy while also giving your mind a rest (or if you need stimulation, listen to some podcasts while doing it?), so that at the end of the day you feel more balanced.
posted by cali59 at 7:23 AM on March 22
posted by cali59 at 7:23 AM on March 22
I don't know your circumstances, but I experience the same. Do you find that your ability to organize the future is exhausted at work, and then when you get home and need to organize some fun, your organizing ability is gone? You spend the evening spinning your wheels and then at 11pm you suddenly panic about wasting the last few hours? Haven't found the solution to that yet.
posted by SnowRottie at 12:14 PM on March 27
posted by SnowRottie at 12:14 PM on March 27
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posted by We put our faith in Blast Hardcheese at 1:16 PM on March 20 [16 favorites]