I want to help

December 27, 2024 9:48 AM

I'd like to be a kinder, gentler, softer person to those around me and would like to volunteer in some capacity. However, I'm very much an introvert, have terrible social anxiety, and struggle with feeling trapped when I have a commitment with a set time. Can you help me figure out how I can both be of help to others, while also taking care of myself (but maybe also stretching myself a little bit)?

I'd like to go out of my comfort zone a little bit for the better good of helping others. But, I'd also like it not to be so terribly uncomfortable that I give up and retreat back into myself. What might be a good fit for me, volunteer-wise? Another caveat - I need a lot of direction/instruction and practice at first until I get comfortable at my "job," so something that is maybe structured would be good? I plan on volunteering 1-4 times a month. I have volunteered for animal groups in the past, but I am more interested in helping people now. I feel drawn to the unhoused and Native American struggles. But, at the same time, I am wary of coming across as some white privileged savior. I really just want to help. Ideally, it would be in-person help.

Any ideas of ways I can volunteer or be helpful in a structured way?

posted by Sassyfras to Human Relations (11 answers total)

In my area the local food bank is set up incredibly well for volunteers. The times and schedules are very clear and the tasks and instructions are very clear, the impact on underresourced people, especially families, is very clear. In my area, the tasks are in a big warehouse, packing produce for other, smaller food charities. It’s not socially taxing and you would generally be able to show up same day without a commitment and work, as long as there are spots available and you hit the start of shift.
posted by vunder at 10:16 AM on December 27 [14 favorites]

A lot of environmental volunteering is very light on the social interaction. Often there is an intro session going over whatever the agenda is that day (trash pickup, tree planting, invasive species removal, trail maintenance, etc.) and then people are basically set loose to do the task. Even while some tasks might involve a bit of on-going coordination between people, you don't need to have great social skills. There is generally a couple of point-people who are happy to help if questions arise. While it's not specific to the issues you list, everyone benefits from a clean environment, and the climate crisis often impacts the vulnerable the most, so I'd say it's a good way to help a range of communities.
posted by coffeecat at 10:56 AM on December 27 [3 favorites]

+1 to food bank. Feeding America is a huge non profit that has relationships with major grocery chains and warehouses around the nation where food is regularly sorted and distributed to food banks in the area. There may be one in your city. In my experience it is the easiest way to get started because you can just pick up a shift and you get a lot of guidance. You can keep to yourself with no problems, too.
posted by pazazygeek at 11:15 AM on December 27 [2 favorites]

My shyer kid has been training and then volunteering as a meal helper at a senior's home - I don't know if they have that role at seniors homes in the US but up here, it's just coming in to sit with a senior during one of their meals and talking to them and sometimes a small amount of helping, like holding a spoon or adding ketchup or reminding them to take a sip of a drink between bites - that kind of thing. (That's the training part.)

Being able to be methodical and patient and quiet some of the time, and have quiet conversation some of the time is a real benefit in that role.
posted by warriorqueen at 12:17 PM on December 27 [2 favorites]

I was coming to say food bank! Volunteering in the sorting warehouse tends to be pretty solitary, although there are other people working (independently) around you. And the first time someone will give you guidance on how to do it, and then be around for any questions once you get going. They also usually have a fair amount of flexibility for individuals in terms of when and how long you work.
posted by Missense Mutation at 2:03 PM on December 27

In my community the Friendship Centre offers volunteer opportunities and their primary focus is the Indigenous peoples of the area

Your community may have a mentorship program that pairs you with a Gr. 3 or 4 student, one hour per week. Can be very meaningful.

Is there an adult literacy program? These programs often help newcomers gain language and cultural exposure. Your public library may be a good place to check out for volunteer opportunities.
posted by ginger.beef at 3:08 PM on December 27

Regarding getting out of your comfort zone, the thing that worked for me was to create an alternate me. Doing it online is easier than IRL, but the principle is the same - it's not you , it's your alter. The process is simple: pick a (nick)name and introduce yourself as that. Nickname is not you, they're whatever you need them to be at the time. It's a little bit pretending, a little bit acting, a little bit letting go, and a whole lot being what you want to be in the moment. You don't have to fear the consequences as much because it's not you - the people you interact with will remember Nickname and never even knew you even existed.

One day, you'll find that you can't tell the difference between you and Nickname.

I am Gible Fog.

PS a nickname that has a surname is much easier when it comes to filling in forms.
posted by gible at 5:52 PM on December 27 [6 favorites]

+1 for environmental volunteering, it's definitely less social interaction but still a lot of fun! Also, the alternate me that the other commenter 'gible' mentioned reminded me of my old job. I used a different name for my phone calls when I worked at a call center, and it actually helped me interact with customers way better than how I talk in real life. You might want to try it! You'd be surprised at how much more comfortable you can get over time.
posted by liza97 at 4:11 AM on December 28

In terms of ideas… consider looking for organizations that provide opportunities for those in need to “shop” for clothes and other necessities.

You might also consider volunteering with an organization that helps individuals get housing… whether it’s habitat for humanity or the local chapter that assists refugees.

You might also want to consider joining a group that does volunteer work.

If your local school system requires community service for graduation, there may be orgs that offer drop in opportunities for students needing that credit.
posted by oceano at 3:30 PM on December 28

I volunteer at a social justice bike shop, getting started by going to their volunteer nights which are very well structured, and graduating into doing more complex rebuilds of bikes from the ground-up. What very much attracted me when I got started was the work was very physically based -- taking bikes apart, sorting parts, moving things -- and that is was "come if you can" since the volunteer night sign-ups were rarely full. For where I was in my life at the time (really, really burnt out), both of those were super helpful.

So, perhaps look for opportunities that are more a "come if you can" to start. Don't be afraid to try out a few different ones until something fits and makes you want to become a regular.
posted by chiefthe at 10:13 AM on December 29

Animal shelters, fostering animals.
posted by Barbara Spitzer at 5:00 PM on December 29