How do I mentally persevere through the last 5 years of work?
December 18, 2024 7:30 AM Subscribe
Are you retired? How did you mentally handle the last 5-ish years of working? I feel like I am slowly dying of ennui and apathy but need to hold on a little longer.
I'm on track to retire in about 5 years. I just had my mid-year review and the things they are asking me to work on -- I just don't care about. For example, they want me to refine my project management skills. Totally fair critique and ask of me. The problem is, I don't really want to or care about being better at it. I've been working for 40+ years and have reached some success in my field. There is nothing left career wise I aspire to be or do except coast into retirement.
I have a great WFH job. My boss is wonderful. I've been there 10 years. My work is valued and respected. I get regular cost of living raises each year. I have decent benefits. I believe I am what the kids are calling a knowledge worker. I have nothing to complain about other than the work is occasionally tedious but daily just feels like a grind because I know I can walk away in 5 years and I am just kind of white knuckling it. While the work I do is interesting, nothing I do is interesting to me anymore. I just don't care. I'm in a position where I rarely make decisions but am often consulted for my opinion/analysis, and for the last year I have been defaulting to whatever everyone else wants to do because I just don't care what they do as long as it doesn't impact me in a negative way or is anything unethical (which never happens here). I legit don't even want to have my brain think about what they want a decision about. It makes me angry that they want me to think. If we had nationalized healthcare, I could retire today, which stirs all of my anger about billionaires.
I can fake a smile and maintain professionalism in all of my work interactions, and I get my work done, but I am hating every second of it. It's not the actual job, it's the fact that I still have one and need one for 5 more years. A different job would just be a different job with the same feeling, and I am too old to voluntarily walk away from the good thing I have just for something different. And honestly I don't think I can get a better job than the one I have right now all things considered.
I don't need life advice -- I eat healthy and have a therapist (for other things and I am not muddling that work with this), I exercise regularly, have many hobbies that I do when not working (which actually makes this worse because I would rather being doing all of the things I love doing), have friends and a husband and a social life.
I'm not depressed --- just more angry that I have to get out of bed every day to still do this. I know this is all in my head. But how did you stop feeling like you were white knuckling it for the last stretch? Or is it just what happens and you have to live through it to come out the other side. Am I destined to just smile hate my way through these last years?
I'm on track to retire in about 5 years. I just had my mid-year review and the things they are asking me to work on -- I just don't care about. For example, they want me to refine my project management skills. Totally fair critique and ask of me. The problem is, I don't really want to or care about being better at it. I've been working for 40+ years and have reached some success in my field. There is nothing left career wise I aspire to be or do except coast into retirement.
I have a great WFH job. My boss is wonderful. I've been there 10 years. My work is valued and respected. I get regular cost of living raises each year. I have decent benefits. I believe I am what the kids are calling a knowledge worker. I have nothing to complain about other than the work is occasionally tedious but daily just feels like a grind because I know I can walk away in 5 years and I am just kind of white knuckling it. While the work I do is interesting, nothing I do is interesting to me anymore. I just don't care. I'm in a position where I rarely make decisions but am often consulted for my opinion/analysis, and for the last year I have been defaulting to whatever everyone else wants to do because I just don't care what they do as long as it doesn't impact me in a negative way or is anything unethical (which never happens here). I legit don't even want to have my brain think about what they want a decision about. It makes me angry that they want me to think. If we had nationalized healthcare, I could retire today, which stirs all of my anger about billionaires.
I can fake a smile and maintain professionalism in all of my work interactions, and I get my work done, but I am hating every second of it. It's not the actual job, it's the fact that I still have one and need one for 5 more years. A different job would just be a different job with the same feeling, and I am too old to voluntarily walk away from the good thing I have just for something different. And honestly I don't think I can get a better job than the one I have right now all things considered.
I don't need life advice -- I eat healthy and have a therapist (for other things and I am not muddling that work with this), I exercise regularly, have many hobbies that I do when not working (which actually makes this worse because I would rather being doing all of the things I love doing), have friends and a husband and a social life.
I'm not depressed --- just more angry that I have to get out of bed every day to still do this. I know this is all in my head. But how did you stop feeling like you were white knuckling it for the last stretch? Or is it just what happens and you have to live through it to come out the other side. Am I destined to just smile hate my way through these last years?
I deal with this too, but have more years ahead of me at work. Is there any part of your work that you can discover a sense of motivation from? I work in public service and it is bureaucratic and frustrating on a daily basis. When I lack motivation, which happens a lot, I try to reconnect with the people that stand to benefit from my doing good work. If you can follow your work to what the end impacts are, you may be able to find a goal to lean into that gives you more to care about at work.
posted by happy_cat at 7:55 AM on December 18 [3 favorites]
posted by happy_cat at 7:55 AM on December 18 [3 favorites]
Five years is a long time. Do you have to do it at this particular job?
posted by *s at 7:55 AM on December 18 [3 favorites]
posted by *s at 7:55 AM on December 18 [3 favorites]
It's not "just what happens," though it is understandable. But the way I have seen people maintain energy and passion for their job when they approach retirement is that they stop thinking of it as just about their own career advancement and kudos, and start trying to leave their domain, whatever it is -- the office, the business, the field - a little better than when they came in. Legacies don't have to be grand. But they can make how you look back on what you left for others coming up behind you feel gratifying after you're gone.
posted by Tim Bucktooth at 7:56 AM on December 18 [20 favorites]
posted by Tim Bucktooth at 7:56 AM on December 18 [20 favorites]
Helpful reminder that you could be fired tomorrow and would be in a much much worse position.
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 8:00 AM on December 18 [5 favorites]
posted by MisantropicPainforest at 8:00 AM on December 18 [5 favorites]
Are there any younger people in your company that might like having a mentor type of relationship? By helping them hone their skills, you would likely be doing the same for yourself.
Maybe the best motivation would be to kick ass such that you get more than a cost-of-living adjustment and, in doing so, might be able to shave a year off of that 5 years.
posted by dawkins_7 at 8:07 AM on December 18 [3 favorites]
Maybe the best motivation would be to kick ass such that you get more than a cost-of-living adjustment and, in doing so, might be able to shave a year off of that 5 years.
posted by dawkins_7 at 8:07 AM on December 18 [3 favorites]
Best answer: You and I sound very similar in terms of our situations. Just about everything you have laid out, I have felt, am feeling and will continue to feel. Everything.
I have about six years until my full pension kicks in, and another two before the state pension does (assuming we still have anything left by then). Going back to work after any sort of break is harder every time, because I am just so done with it.
One of the things that works for me is knowing that I'm doing all of this to keep our tiny little family together, in a way I couldn't if I quit now. I do think it is a bit of gritting my teeth and getting through.
Any pleasure I derive from the work I do is really generated by taking joy from most of the people I work with, certainly my immediate colleagues. We make each other laugh, we share the trials and they ask me for advice because I'm a wizened old wise woman and thus experienced.
And although it sounds ever so twee, I am working in an area with huge amounts of deprivation and poverty and ill health and I'm doing a tiny bit to help alleviate some of those issues. I decided before I got a job that I wanted to work in the public sector, not make profits for shareholders, and I've nearly completed that goal.
So, some combination of all of the above helps, but it is really difficult to bear in mind sometimes.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 8:09 AM on December 18 [15 favorites]
I have about six years until my full pension kicks in, and another two before the state pension does (assuming we still have anything left by then). Going back to work after any sort of break is harder every time, because I am just so done with it.
One of the things that works for me is knowing that I'm doing all of this to keep our tiny little family together, in a way I couldn't if I quit now. I do think it is a bit of gritting my teeth and getting through.
Any pleasure I derive from the work I do is really generated by taking joy from most of the people I work with, certainly my immediate colleagues. We make each other laugh, we share the trials and they ask me for advice because I'm a wizened old wise woman and thus experienced.
And although it sounds ever so twee, I am working in an area with huge amounts of deprivation and poverty and ill health and I'm doing a tiny bit to help alleviate some of those issues. I decided before I got a job that I wanted to work in the public sector, not make profits for shareholders, and I've nearly completed that goal.
So, some combination of all of the above helps, but it is really difficult to bear in mind sometimes.
posted by Martha My Dear Prudence at 8:09 AM on December 18 [15 favorites]
When was the last time you took a week’s (or more) vacation? I always found that a substantial break improved my attitude significantly.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:09 AM on December 18 [1 favorite]
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 8:09 AM on December 18 [1 favorite]
A different job would just be a different job with the same feeling
Is there really no kind of job, or employer, where the work would feel meaningful in itself? (I mean, maybe not. But if you've mostly brushed off the idea, maybe it's worth thinking about some more. A job advancing advocacy for a not-dysfunctional healthcare system?)
Also, I love WFH and it sounds like you do too, but the last time I had a job that felt totally meaningless, it was the fun spending time with coworkers aspect of it that kept me from losing my mind.
posted by trig at 8:12 AM on December 18 [1 favorite]
Is there really no kind of job, or employer, where the work would feel meaningful in itself? (I mean, maybe not. But if you've mostly brushed off the idea, maybe it's worth thinking about some more. A job advancing advocacy for a not-dysfunctional healthcare system?)
Also, I love WFH and it sounds like you do too, but the last time I had a job that felt totally meaningless, it was the fun spending time with coworkers aspect of it that kept me from losing my mind.
posted by trig at 8:12 AM on December 18 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Does it matter if you don't super work on refining your skills? If you get "meh" reviews for the next five years, does it matter? If you quiet quit/work your wage and don't put "extra" into the job, will it matter? It sounds like the entire thing is that you resent work and having to work in general and putting more time and effort into a job hunt isn't going to fix your "bleah," and I agree that I'd stay where you are.
I can't retire for another 20 years or so (if retirement still exists then), but this sounds to me like a lot of my retiree friends. They just had to suck it up and white knuckle it until they couldn't take it any more or got forced out. (As a caveat, if you have five years to go, management changes for the worse, etc. that might happen someday too.)
As someone who hated their job for years, yes, you white knuckle. I quiet quit. If there were slow periods during WFH, then I'd go do something else to entertain myself. I took a lot of mental breaks.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:27 AM on December 18 [4 favorites]
I can't retire for another 20 years or so (if retirement still exists then), but this sounds to me like a lot of my retiree friends. They just had to suck it up and white knuckle it until they couldn't take it any more or got forced out. (As a caveat, if you have five years to go, management changes for the worse, etc. that might happen someday too.)
As someone who hated their job for years, yes, you white knuckle. I quiet quit. If there were slow periods during WFH, then I'd go do something else to entertain myself. I took a lot of mental breaks.
posted by jenfullmoon at 8:27 AM on December 18 [4 favorites]
Is there something you could do AT work that might help your work but also your life outside of work? For instance, if I could let go of my focus on tasks, I would probably focus on understanding people: what are their motivations, how can I more deeply connect with them, what helps them feel supported, etc.
posted by slidell at 8:59 AM on December 18
posted by slidell at 8:59 AM on December 18
Best answer: Are you in a position where you can WFH somewhere that's not home? I find that just leaving the house every day to go to a coffee shop or cafe and get a couple of hours of work out makes starting the day that much less obnoxious. Something that's much harder to orchestrate but definitely shocked me out of my rut was to go somewhere very far afield once a year and work remote for a couple of months. I find places that are friendly but not mobbed by digital nomads in their twenties is good. (And feel free to DM me for suggestions.)
Also, If you're mostly sticking around for health insurance, I'm guessing you've ruled out a marketplace / ACA plan for good reason?
(I do struggle with this myself in general, although I'm in a different position than most people here. I spent most of my twenties and thirties saving like a demon and living in a relatively LCOL area. While I don't have enough buffer to retire for another five or ten years, my portfolio now returns an average yearly amount in the same ballpark as my gross salary. I work in a field that isn't generally socially harmful and may do some good, but it takes a long time to see results. The ennui and sameness of the job get tiring after a while, and it's a lot harder to motivate myself since I'm not strongly dependent on income from a job. I've talked to therapists, who mostly just focus on things like gratitude and mindfulness. Which helps, but hasn't been a cure all for me. I don't know what to say other than you're not alone in having these feelings.)
posted by ayerarcturus at 9:23 AM on December 18 [4 favorites]
Also, If you're mostly sticking around for health insurance, I'm guessing you've ruled out a marketplace / ACA plan for good reason?
(I do struggle with this myself in general, although I'm in a different position than most people here. I spent most of my twenties and thirties saving like a demon and living in a relatively LCOL area. While I don't have enough buffer to retire for another five or ten years, my portfolio now returns an average yearly amount in the same ballpark as my gross salary. I work in a field that isn't generally socially harmful and may do some good, but it takes a long time to see results. The ennui and sameness of the job get tiring after a while, and it's a lot harder to motivate myself since I'm not strongly dependent on income from a job. I've talked to therapists, who mostly just focus on things like gratitude and mindfulness. Which helps, but hasn't been a cure all for me. I don't know what to say other than you're not alone in having these feelings.)
posted by ayerarcturus at 9:23 AM on December 18 [4 favorites]
I focus on accelerating how quickly I can retire. Making more money is not viable for me for Reasons, so I focus on doing things which reduce expenses now (not eating out, etc.) and in the future (energy efficiency, etc.). In your specific case, I would try to save enough money in the next two years so you can pay for your own healthcare for three years.
posted by metasarah at 9:36 AM on December 18 [1 favorite]
posted by metasarah at 9:36 AM on December 18 [1 favorite]
Best answer: Hi! I'm 55, on what I'm calling a glide path to retirement (probably about 5 years as well), and at this point, I absolutely do. not. care. to. grow. my. career. I'm good at what I do, I'm respected by my peers and I respect them, and reading your description of your job/life, well, yeah, I'm you, except for the anger part. I'm not angry, I'm just already kinda checked out. I do my job well, I take on new assignments as they're given to me, but I absolutely do not engage in any "career path" discussions or do anything involving "upskilling" or any other dumb corporatespeak at this point in my career.
Reading your description, one thing stuck out:
I have nothing to complain about other than the work is occasionally tedious but daily just feels like a grind because I know I can walk away in 5 years
That's it. That's your whole takeaway. You can walk away in five years.
Do you have any idea how quickly 5 years will go by? last time I looked, it was like 2009. Here we are in almost 2025, and I have no idea where all that time went. 5 years is nothing compared to the time you've already put in. For me, that's not a source of anger - it's exciting! I've been working in an office for over 30 years, working for 39. I'm SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE. 5 more years? That's nothin'. I can close my eyes and imagine what I will be doing in five years, and it sure as hell ain't "work".
I can, at this point, start to think about the answer to the question "what does retirement look like for me?" in actual, concrete terms, not as a thought experiment! That's exciting! And I don't mean that in just financial-planning terms. I mean, like, "what will I do with my days"-type questions. Because that's tangible now. And it's something I can start to figure out, and it sounds like you have as well.
Any time you start to feel angry about still having to work, maybe turn your thoughts to what your days will look like when you don't. Fantasize about that the way some people fantasize about what they'll do when they win the lottery.
You are in a unique position in that your job doesn't seem to care that you're coasting, and you're in a stable position emotionally, financially, and career-wise. Ride that wave, coast, and don't stress it, because you're almost done.
posted by pdb at 9:41 AM on December 18 [22 favorites]
Reading your description, one thing stuck out:
I have nothing to complain about other than the work is occasionally tedious but daily just feels like a grind because I know I can walk away in 5 years
That's it. That's your whole takeaway. You can walk away in five years.
Do you have any idea how quickly 5 years will go by? last time I looked, it was like 2009. Here we are in almost 2025, and I have no idea where all that time went. 5 years is nothing compared to the time you've already put in. For me, that's not a source of anger - it's exciting! I've been working in an office for over 30 years, working for 39. I'm SO CLOSE TO BEING DONE. 5 more years? That's nothin'. I can close my eyes and imagine what I will be doing in five years, and it sure as hell ain't "work".
I can, at this point, start to think about the answer to the question "what does retirement look like for me?" in actual, concrete terms, not as a thought experiment! That's exciting! And I don't mean that in just financial-planning terms. I mean, like, "what will I do with my days"-type questions. Because that's tangible now. And it's something I can start to figure out, and it sounds like you have as well.
Any time you start to feel angry about still having to work, maybe turn your thoughts to what your days will look like when you don't. Fantasize about that the way some people fantasize about what they'll do when they win the lottery.
You are in a unique position in that your job doesn't seem to care that you're coasting, and you're in a stable position emotionally, financially, and career-wise. Ride that wave, coast, and don't stress it, because you're almost done.
posted by pdb at 9:41 AM on December 18 [22 favorites]
Are there changes you could make now, so that you could retire sooner?
If you stopped working tomorrow (by choice or not) could you make the retirement financials work? If no, then you need to at least try to appease the powers at be, in a way that minimizes the pain to yourself.
Is there a non profit that you would like to get more involved with after retirement? Perhaps you are learning about project management for this non profit. Or maybe you are learning about project management for a post retirement project.
To address the feedback, consider finding a professional development opportunity on project management. Try to find an opportunity that is relevant to your experience level and interests. Bring back the takeaway points from the professional development to your greater team and implement some best practices over the course of the review cycle.
I think it also might also be helpful to ask your boss to be a bit more specific about which elements of project management that are in need of improvement. It’s possible that improve your skills in x, is a polite wording for stop doing y and z.
Can you find some joy in mentorship of your more junior colleagues?
Are you taking full advantage of resources / opportunities / benefits provided by your employer? Some employers may offer sabbaticals for example. Does your employer offer a phased retirement option?
posted by oceano at 9:45 AM on December 18
If you stopped working tomorrow (by choice or not) could you make the retirement financials work? If no, then you need to at least try to appease the powers at be, in a way that minimizes the pain to yourself.
Is there a non profit that you would like to get more involved with after retirement? Perhaps you are learning about project management for this non profit. Or maybe you are learning about project management for a post retirement project.
To address the feedback, consider finding a professional development opportunity on project management. Try to find an opportunity that is relevant to your experience level and interests. Bring back the takeaway points from the professional development to your greater team and implement some best practices over the course of the review cycle.
I think it also might also be helpful to ask your boss to be a bit more specific about which elements of project management that are in need of improvement. It’s possible that improve your skills in x, is a polite wording for stop doing y and z.
Can you find some joy in mentorship of your more junior colleagues?
Are you taking full advantage of resources / opportunities / benefits provided by your employer? Some employers may offer sabbaticals for example. Does your employer offer a phased retirement option?
posted by oceano at 9:45 AM on December 18
Like happy_cat, I'm like you, only I have 15 years to go instead of 5. I'm a reasonably smart cookie, and I know exactly how smart I am, and what I am capable, and what I am not. That's not going to change going forward.
My manager, who is my age, and I started the same week, and we joke about how she is capable of doing the bullshit that comes with management, and I am not. And that is mostly dealing with the bullshit reviews every year: "How can you improve? What goals to you want to achieve? Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?" This is exactly why I can't be a manager. During our review meeting each year we just chat and I mutter "I see myself in exactly the same place in 3-5 years" and she magically comes up with fluffy words that satisfy the bean-counters.
So, I do two things: 1) mentor the young 'uns; and 2) fake things a lot. I am absolutely aware of what I need to do to get my raises and "Better than average" ratings on my review, and I make sure that I don't fall below that. The only people who say "money can't buy happiness" are the ones who have plenty of money, and I also don't have a spouse to back me up. Plus I live in an expensive area, and it costs more to be a woman anyway. I need the money to continue to be more, not less, and that's not optional.
When a young 'un learns something that I learned 30 years ago, I gush and say excellent job! When the engineers are arguing for the millionth time about some trivial matter that I need to pay attention to, I say my automatic words of encouragement. I do what I need to do, and remind myself that yeah, in the history of the universe none of it matters, but it can't hurt to leave here in a better place than when I first started.
posted by Melismata at 9:49 AM on December 18 [5 favorites]
My manager, who is my age, and I started the same week, and we joke about how she is capable of doing the bullshit that comes with management, and I am not. And that is mostly dealing with the bullshit reviews every year: "How can you improve? What goals to you want to achieve? Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years?" This is exactly why I can't be a manager. During our review meeting each year we just chat and I mutter "I see myself in exactly the same place in 3-5 years" and she magically comes up with fluffy words that satisfy the bean-counters.
So, I do two things: 1) mentor the young 'uns; and 2) fake things a lot. I am absolutely aware of what I need to do to get my raises and "Better than average" ratings on my review, and I make sure that I don't fall below that. The only people who say "money can't buy happiness" are the ones who have plenty of money, and I also don't have a spouse to back me up. Plus I live in an expensive area, and it costs more to be a woman anyway. I need the money to continue to be more, not less, and that's not optional.
When a young 'un learns something that I learned 30 years ago, I gush and say excellent job! When the engineers are arguing for the millionth time about some trivial matter that I need to pay attention to, I say my automatic words of encouragement. I do what I need to do, and remind myself that yeah, in the history of the universe none of it matters, but it can't hurt to leave here in a better place than when I first started.
posted by Melismata at 9:49 AM on December 18 [5 favorites]
Similar situation, but with months instead of years. The shorter timespan makes it less stressful, as you'd expect. But previously, I've been in your position too. I'd just add a couple of things.
Spending more time with friends and acquaintances away from work is heathy, and should set you up for a better retirement when the human (or inhuman) interactions in work life go completely away. Friends are a valuable asset. Even just coffee can be great.
Find personal validation outside of work. Hobby, family, volunteering...anything. I find a lot of satisfaction in a couple of my non-work pursuits, and I'm hoping it makes it easier when work goes away. My take is that I'm not defined by my job or career, and I won't let myself look back too much on them when they're gone.
May sound...kind of obvious? But they've worked for me.
posted by gimonca at 10:34 AM on December 18 [5 favorites]
Spending more time with friends and acquaintances away from work is heathy, and should set you up for a better retirement when the human (or inhuman) interactions in work life go completely away. Friends are a valuable asset. Even just coffee can be great.
Find personal validation outside of work. Hobby, family, volunteering...anything. I find a lot of satisfaction in a couple of my non-work pursuits, and I'm hoping it makes it easier when work goes away. My take is that I'm not defined by my job or career, and I won't let myself look back too much on them when they're gone.
May sound...kind of obvious? But they've worked for me.
posted by gimonca at 10:34 AM on December 18 [5 favorites]
What do you care about outside yourself and your family?
It can be hard to care if we don't believe we can affect anything.
You can have more of an effect than you may now believe.
posted by amtho at 10:41 AM on December 18
It can be hard to care if we don't believe we can affect anything.
You can have more of an effect than you may now believe.
posted by amtho at 10:41 AM on December 18
The only thing I've found effective is a big energy-sucking project outside of work. For example, taking a hobby to the next level with collaborators, preparing for a big event, or taking care of a sick family member.
Suddenly I felt fine with my steady boring job. If I was asked at work to provide analysis on a decision, I was able to do it robotically without getting emotionally drawn in because all my emotions were already going to the project outside of work.
posted by vienna at 11:08 AM on December 18 [7 favorites]
Suddenly I felt fine with my steady boring job. If I was asked at work to provide analysis on a decision, I was able to do it robotically without getting emotionally drawn in because all my emotions were already going to the project outside of work.
posted by vienna at 11:08 AM on December 18 [7 favorites]
I'm missing something here. The only thing that has ever made work worthwhile in most of the soulless jobs I have had is the people I worked with and the relationships and connection thereof. It's the one thing I miss in retirement. I don't hear that as part of your question. Maybe you are missing relationships at work. Can you cultivate those on a deeper level for five years?
posted by Xurando at 11:12 AM on December 18 [4 favorites]
posted by Xurando at 11:12 AM on December 18 [4 favorites]
I've been at my current employer for 15 years, and while my job has shifted, much of it is the same as it's always been, and I might still be here another 15 (!) years. One thing I have seen modeled, that I really want to avoid, is the close-to-retirement cynical, angry, burnt out person. They often have a lot of institutional knowledge and make much more than early career folks but are trying to coast, with some bitterness, to retirement. That energy can be really hard to be around, so I want to avoid creating it, when I'm in that situation.
A few ways that I can feel energized again at work:
-Mentor or even just engage with younger or newer colleagues
-Work on a new project
-Learn a new skill that is related to work
-Engage with professional development and colleagues doing similar work at other organizations
-Think about what I want to leave behind and what I want people to think about me when I go
It's okay if you don't want to brush up on project management skills. But, could it be interesting you just, you know, decided to learn some project management? Perhaps it's an area where you could shift your work to, or perhaps you could bring those skills to post-retirement volunteering?
You've been at your employer for 10 years. Another 5 is 50% of that and will be 1/3 of your time there. Five years is plenty of time to accomplishment something meaningful, if you can find something that will inspire you even a little bit.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:21 AM on December 18 [7 favorites]
A few ways that I can feel energized again at work:
-Mentor or even just engage with younger or newer colleagues
-Work on a new project
-Learn a new skill that is related to work
-Engage with professional development and colleagues doing similar work at other organizations
-Think about what I want to leave behind and what I want people to think about me when I go
It's okay if you don't want to brush up on project management skills. But, could it be interesting you just, you know, decided to learn some project management? Perhaps it's an area where you could shift your work to, or perhaps you could bring those skills to post-retirement volunteering?
You've been at your employer for 10 years. Another 5 is 50% of that and will be 1/3 of your time there. Five years is plenty of time to accomplishment something meaningful, if you can find something that will inspire you even a little bit.
posted by bluedaisy at 11:21 AM on December 18 [7 favorites]
"If we had nationalized healthcare, I could retire today..."
I don't know about where you are, but here in MA, there's a tier of healthcare for those who earn too much for Medicaid but too little for even a subsidized ACA plan. It's affordable, great coverage. For example, if you and a spouse make less than about $61K/year, really excellent coverage on a ConnectorCare plan is about $1400. That's per year, total for the couple, with 0 deductible, ultra-low OOP maxes, low co-pays, a good network, etc. (You can choose an even cheaper ConnectorCare carrier, but their network is worse.) If you earn even less, it costs even less.
When we were planning our retirement, we did all kinds of projections and calculations, some with a financial advisor, and then another financial advisor when the first one retired. Neither told us that our estimates for health expenses were an order of magnitude too high, because our retirement income would be low enough that we'd qualify for ConnectorCare. So if you're in a similar situation, maybe you don't have to make it another five years after all?
posted by daisyace at 12:00 PM on December 18 [2 favorites]
I don't know about where you are, but here in MA, there's a tier of healthcare for those who earn too much for Medicaid but too little for even a subsidized ACA plan. It's affordable, great coverage. For example, if you and a spouse make less than about $61K/year, really excellent coverage on a ConnectorCare plan is about $1400. That's per year, total for the couple, with 0 deductible, ultra-low OOP maxes, low co-pays, a good network, etc. (You can choose an even cheaper ConnectorCare carrier, but their network is worse.) If you earn even less, it costs even less.
When we were planning our retirement, we did all kinds of projections and calculations, some with a financial advisor, and then another financial advisor when the first one retired. Neither told us that our estimates for health expenses were an order of magnitude too high, because our retirement income would be low enough that we'd qualify for ConnectorCare. So if you're in a similar situation, maybe you don't have to make it another five years after all?
posted by daisyace at 12:00 PM on December 18 [2 favorites]
"If we had nationalized healthcare, I could retire today."
So you don't need your salary at all? You're only there for the health insurance? I don't know how many people are on your health insurance, but google says the average private insurance for an individual is about $9000 per year. In 2019, I paid $900 per month for COBRA (about $16,200 total for 18 months).
So, how about work just long enough (say, a year) to pay for 18 months of COBRA ($900 per month for 18 months = $16,200), and then live life "a little dangerously" for a short time by getting private insurance for the remaining 2.5 years ($9000 x 2.5 = $22,500)?
$16,200 + $22,500= $38,700. (I assume you bring home at least $38,700 per year?)
posted by SageTrail at 12:03 PM on December 18 [3 favorites]
So you don't need your salary at all? You're only there for the health insurance? I don't know how many people are on your health insurance, but google says the average private insurance for an individual is about $9000 per year. In 2019, I paid $900 per month for COBRA (about $16,200 total for 18 months).
So, how about work just long enough (say, a year) to pay for 18 months of COBRA ($900 per month for 18 months = $16,200), and then live life "a little dangerously" for a short time by getting private insurance for the remaining 2.5 years ($9000 x 2.5 = $22,500)?
$16,200 + $22,500= $38,700. (I assume you bring home at least $38,700 per year?)
posted by SageTrail at 12:03 PM on December 18 [3 favorites]
I know you said that another job would have you feeling the same way but hear me out. If you find another job, you can definitely absolutely mentally check out at your current job for at least 2 weeks. Depending on your health insurance, you might be able to give your 2 weeks notice and also have coverage for the rest of the month, giving yourself an extra 2 weeks off before starting the new job. Or some jobs make you leave the day you give your notice but continue paying you for 2 weeks. And I don't know about your industry, but in my experience starting a new job has less expectations for the first few months before you're given responsibility. And I know training at a new job kind of sucks but it does get you out of your rut. And maybe you'd get paid more, which would mean you can retire in 4.5 years even if you have to buy your own health insurance for 6 months before your pension kicks in.
Can you ask for a rotation in another department? You'd be learning stuff with minimal responsibility and it would get you out of your rut. Of course, you'd have to come back and report back on all you learned and train your group and all that, but again, it's something different.
Since your expertise is so valued, can you do consulting / freelancer work in your industry? Honestly, being able to earn money from your actual skills and from jobs you got on your own (instead of having them assigned to you by your boss) has been so much more exciting.
Can you travel somewhere fun and work remotely? Can you ask for a sabbatical/personal leave? Does your job have paid volunteer time you can take? Some large companies allow 40 hours of volunteering a year. If yes, do that during work time.
Can you find things in life to look forward to? Like dreaming of a new house for retirement (browsing Zillow), or planning an elaborate vacation. Just planning a vacation for several months from now will lift your spirits, I promise.
Can you start a blog and work on that during work hours? Can you do any of your hobbies during work hours? Your boss won't notice you being away for a total of 15 minutes throughout the day but it might feel like you're sticking it to the man if you get to practice your cello or whatever during work time.
Honestly I remember feeling the same way in my 20s — just feeling so depressed at the thought of having to work for another 30-40 years even though my job was good, boss and coworkers were good, raises were good, work was meaningful, personal life and family were going well. Just having to wake up for someone else for 40 years depressed me. I did all the things that I listed above and all of them helped for a while. And since you only need to get through 5 years, all the above tips might get you there without feeling too bummed out. I lucked out that I happened to start a blog that is quite successful and I was able to quit my corporate job, but I am still angry at the healthcare system that my husband cannot quit his job to work with me simply because we need his insurance.
posted by dabadoo at 12:43 PM on December 18
Can you ask for a rotation in another department? You'd be learning stuff with minimal responsibility and it would get you out of your rut. Of course, you'd have to come back and report back on all you learned and train your group and all that, but again, it's something different.
Since your expertise is so valued, can you do consulting / freelancer work in your industry? Honestly, being able to earn money from your actual skills and from jobs you got on your own (instead of having them assigned to you by your boss) has been so much more exciting.
Can you travel somewhere fun and work remotely? Can you ask for a sabbatical/personal leave? Does your job have paid volunteer time you can take? Some large companies allow 40 hours of volunteering a year. If yes, do that during work time.
Can you find things in life to look forward to? Like dreaming of a new house for retirement (browsing Zillow), or planning an elaborate vacation. Just planning a vacation for several months from now will lift your spirits, I promise.
Can you start a blog and work on that during work hours? Can you do any of your hobbies during work hours? Your boss won't notice you being away for a total of 15 minutes throughout the day but it might feel like you're sticking it to the man if you get to practice your cello or whatever during work time.
Honestly I remember feeling the same way in my 20s — just feeling so depressed at the thought of having to work for another 30-40 years even though my job was good, boss and coworkers were good, raises were good, work was meaningful, personal life and family were going well. Just having to wake up for someone else for 40 years depressed me. I did all the things that I listed above and all of them helped for a while. And since you only need to get through 5 years, all the above tips might get you there without feeling too bummed out. I lucked out that I happened to start a blog that is quite successful and I was able to quit my corporate job, but I am still angry at the healthcare system that my husband cannot quit his job to work with me simply because we need his insurance.
posted by dabadoo at 12:43 PM on December 18
I've worked with a bunch of good folks who Could. Not. Wait. to retire, and yet were doing their jobs pretty dang well. It surprised me how helpful and ...pleasant they could be to work with, given their oft-stated focus on retirement. You make me think of the guy who was a runner, and (back when folks still worked in the office in their own cubicles), he had a little paper cut-out of himself that he moved along a chain of paper on the wall presenting his time left as a marathon, with milestones for maybe every 3 months progress? It was a weird little thing, but it seemed that he, like these other folks I'm thinking of, Embraced the anger at still being there, working, when they were so ready to move on. And that helped them to still do good work in the meantime.
So - embrace being done - discuss it with others who are in a similar spot. Maybe create a calendar or something that helps you X off each week you slog through. Celebrate your milestones. And do some good work (and living!) in the meantime.
posted by ldthomps at 1:57 PM on December 18 [4 favorites]
So - embrace being done - discuss it with others who are in a similar spot. Maybe create a calendar or something that helps you X off each week you slog through. Celebrate your milestones. And do some good work (and living!) in the meantime.
posted by ldthomps at 1:57 PM on December 18 [4 favorites]
As with others here, I'm in a similar situation. Until this past year, I couldn't imagine retiring, because I'd never been able to put together enough money to live without a job. I'm 69, and my Social Security maxes out at 70.
Then my mom died, and left my sister and I a substantial amount of money. I've known for years this would save me from working until I die. It sounds awful, but leaving money for my sister and me was her intent.
So now I have a year until I turn 70. My job often feels like a drag, but I'm good at it and I'm well liked. My boss knows I'm leaving at the end of 2025, and she told me my job for the next year is to take on some small projects, but to concentrate on turning over my work to others, and trying to impart the things I know about life and work to them. I work with a lot of much younger people who are very good at what they do, but lack my experience and already see me as something of a mentor.
One thing that I think makes a difference is that I have a great in-office job. Working from home during the pandemic was fine, but I like my co-workers and look forward to seeing them every day. They energize me. I think this will make a big difference for the next year. Does your employer have a way for you spend some time in the office? If nothing else, the change of place and faces might help you as well.
posted by lhauser at 6:57 PM on December 18
Then my mom died, and left my sister and I a substantial amount of money. I've known for years this would save me from working until I die. It sounds awful, but leaving money for my sister and me was her intent.
So now I have a year until I turn 70. My job often feels like a drag, but I'm good at it and I'm well liked. My boss knows I'm leaving at the end of 2025, and she told me my job for the next year is to take on some small projects, but to concentrate on turning over my work to others, and trying to impart the things I know about life and work to them. I work with a lot of much younger people who are very good at what they do, but lack my experience and already see me as something of a mentor.
One thing that I think makes a difference is that I have a great in-office job. Working from home during the pandemic was fine, but I like my co-workers and look forward to seeing them every day. They energize me. I think this will make a big difference for the next year. Does your employer have a way for you spend some time in the office? If nothing else, the change of place and faces might help you as well.
posted by lhauser at 6:57 PM on December 18
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If nothing else, maybe focus on "paying it forward". See if there are younger folks you can mentor, or some less-advantaged people you can uplift through your connections at this organization.
posted by ananci at 7:37 AM on December 18 [13 favorites]