Recommend me pillows!
December 17, 2024 1:16 PM Subscribe
I don't know if pillow quality has gone down (probably) or I'm just getting old (definitely). I had the same pillow for many years as a child and into young adulthood but now I can't seem to be satisfied with a pillow for more than a year. What great pillows are out there?
So typically I've been purchasing feather/down pillows, as firm as I can get them, relatively upmarket (on sale) but not the very most fancy kind.
What I like about feather and down pillows - they scrunch into shape extremely well, so that I can tuck them under my neck to read or lie around in weird positions and have my head supported.
What I don't like: they get flat! Pretty quickly for something that can be quite expensive!
How I take care of them: I have washable feather ones now, I have a pillow protector and I change my sheets weekly.
What I'd like: a pillow with the squishyness and compactability of down which stays firm and comfortable for more than a year or so.
What I have tried and do not want:
old-fashioned polyester or foam ones where there's just a chunk of standard polyester wadding or foam in the pillow - these basically do not scrunch or compact at all.
wool-filled pillows where you can adjust how much wool is in them - don't scrunch enough, too springy
pillows with torn up little pieces of microfoam in them - felt weird and synthetic and kind of chunky
~~~
If I really had to, I'd buy a super-expensive feather pillow, but only if it were very highly recommended.
I would also buy separate pillows for reading support and sleeping, or a stack of pillows (wedge and regular?).
Solve my problem! I just want to conduct escapist reading while lying on my side with a pillow under my neck - that shouldn't be so difficult!
Also if I buy a weird pillow, how do I pillowcase?
So typically I've been purchasing feather/down pillows, as firm as I can get them, relatively upmarket (on sale) but not the very most fancy kind.
What I like about feather and down pillows - they scrunch into shape extremely well, so that I can tuck them under my neck to read or lie around in weird positions and have my head supported.
What I don't like: they get flat! Pretty quickly for something that can be quite expensive!
How I take care of them: I have washable feather ones now, I have a pillow protector and I change my sheets weekly.
What I'd like: a pillow with the squishyness and compactability of down which stays firm and comfortable for more than a year or so.
What I have tried and do not want:
old-fashioned polyester or foam ones where there's just a chunk of standard polyester wadding or foam in the pillow - these basically do not scrunch or compact at all.
wool-filled pillows where you can adjust how much wool is in them - don't scrunch enough, too springy
pillows with torn up little pieces of microfoam in them - felt weird and synthetic and kind of chunky
~~~
If I really had to, I'd buy a super-expensive feather pillow, but only if it were very highly recommended.
I would also buy separate pillows for reading support and sleeping, or a stack of pillows (wedge and regular?).
Solve my problem! I just want to conduct escapist reading while lying on my side with a pillow under my neck - that shouldn't be so difficult!
Also if I buy a weird pillow, how do I pillowcase?
Er, exactly how much are you willing to spend?
I've had very good luck with all things down related from Feathered Friends (sleeping bags, jackets, and down comforters). But they also make pillows with soft, medium, and firm options in the usual standard/queen/king sizes.
posted by SegFaultCoreDump at 1:49 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
I've had very good luck with all things down related from Feathered Friends (sleeping bags, jackets, and down comforters). But they also make pillows with soft, medium, and firm options in the usual standard/queen/king sizes.
posted by SegFaultCoreDump at 1:49 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
Have you ever tried a cervical pillow? They are not moldable but are good at cradling your head and are somewhat adjustable since they have 2 directions. I've had a Sleep Innovations one similar to this for 15 years (and a different brand for the 15 years before that). If the measurements are the same, which seems correct, it's only compressed 1/2 an inch on each side over 15 years.
My Grandpa was a chiropractor and gave me my first one (I know saying he was a chiropractor is basically the same as saying he kicked puppies to a lot of MeFites, but he was absolutely correct about these pillows helping with proper alignment). You can flip it one way for back sleeping and the other for shoulder sleeping. These days I also use another very thin pillow underneath for shoulder sleeping. In my experience with this type of pillow, it's really important to get one that dips down significantly in the middle. The whole thing compresses when used, but it goes down evenly. I just measured mine and it's 4 1/2" on the high side, 2 1/2" in the middle, and 3 1/2" on the low side.
posted by Eyelash at 2:00 PM on December 17
My Grandpa was a chiropractor and gave me my first one (I know saying he was a chiropractor is basically the same as saying he kicked puppies to a lot of MeFites, but he was absolutely correct about these pillows helping with proper alignment). You can flip it one way for back sleeping and the other for shoulder sleeping. These days I also use another very thin pillow underneath for shoulder sleeping. In my experience with this type of pillow, it's really important to get one that dips down significantly in the middle. The whole thing compresses when used, but it goes down evenly. I just measured mine and it's 4 1/2" on the high side, 2 1/2" in the middle, and 3 1/2" on the low side.
posted by Eyelash at 2:00 PM on December 17
Daily fluffing, and when washing you have to take the feathers out first and wash and dry them without squashing them, IME.
(Can’t remember how long I could keep a down pillow this way, as my long term sweetie is too allergic to sleep next to one.)
posted by clew at 2:09 PM on December 17
(Can’t remember how long I could keep a down pillow this way, as my long term sweetie is too allergic to sleep next to one.)
posted by clew at 2:09 PM on December 17
I grew up with old-fashioned down pillows, but after mine wore out, I ended up with this down alternative pillow, "Indulgence by Isotonic". It has squishy polyester inside that I can scrunch or fluff. Sort of medium density, not soft or firm. Currently on sale for $26 according to that site. Mine lasted at least 5-7 years before it got too lumpy, and I recently got a new one to replace it.
posted by dreamyshade at 2:13 PM on December 17
posted by dreamyshade at 2:13 PM on December 17
A buckwheat hull pillow can be crunchy and loud but it's matchless for scrunching into a shape and staying put.
(I wish I had an actually soft recommendation but I haven't solved that problem for myself!)
posted by fountainofdoubt at 2:23 PM on December 17 [3 favorites]
(I wish I had an actually soft recommendation but I haven't solved that problem for myself!)
posted by fountainofdoubt at 2:23 PM on December 17 [3 favorites]
I have Cuddledown brand down pillows (specifically I have the 700 fill power in Queen size and Medium fill) and I have had your problem.
I've had success alternating pillows (I do weekly). I also realized that the pillow case is very important: a too-large pillow case lets the pillow flatten too much. I agree on fluffing them every morning.
posted by miscbuff at 2:40 PM on December 17
I've had success alternating pillows (I do weekly). I also realized that the pillow case is very important: a too-large pillow case lets the pillow flatten too much. I agree on fluffing them every morning.
posted by miscbuff at 2:40 PM on December 17
I am with you on not liking this:
"pillows with torn up little pieces of microfoam in them - felt weird and synthetic and kind of chunky"
But as someone who has struggled my entire life to find a "good" or "comfortable" pillow it felt like I should throw in my pillow answer just in case.
A friend swore this one was "the only pillow to buy" and after years of trying and hating dozens of other pillows I gave in and ordered one, and it has now become the only brand of pillow I will ever buy. It comes with extra stuff to put in if you want your pillow thicker (I normally pull some out when I get them), and its zippered and then in a zippered case. The brand is Snuggle-Pedic and the type to look for is "adjustable."
It does not feel like pieces of microfoam. It sometimes can get too compact but if you just pick it up and floof it around a second its perfect again.
posted by routergirl at 3:15 PM on December 17 [2 favorites]
"pillows with torn up little pieces of microfoam in them - felt weird and synthetic and kind of chunky"
But as someone who has struggled my entire life to find a "good" or "comfortable" pillow it felt like I should throw in my pillow answer just in case.
A friend swore this one was "the only pillow to buy" and after years of trying and hating dozens of other pillows I gave in and ordered one, and it has now become the only brand of pillow I will ever buy. It comes with extra stuff to put in if you want your pillow thicker (I normally pull some out when I get them), and its zippered and then in a zippered case. The brand is Snuggle-Pedic and the type to look for is "adjustable."
It does not feel like pieces of microfoam. It sometimes can get too compact but if you just pick it up and floof it around a second its perfect again.
posted by routergirl at 3:15 PM on December 17 [2 favorites]
I had to switch away from down pillows because of a partner with allergies and have found the Beyond Down brand down alternative pillows to be the only non-down ones I've ever liked for their squishability.
posted by kbuxton at 3:32 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
posted by kbuxton at 3:32 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
Came to recommend buckwheat, seconding that for shape-moulding + firm.
I’ve got a padded pillow protector over mine under the pillow cover, which mitigates the rustling and softens it a touch!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:26 PM on December 17
I’ve got a padded pillow protector over mine under the pillow cover, which mitigates the rustling and softens it a touch!
posted by Jon Mitchell at 4:26 PM on December 17
Yeah, buckwheat is extremely unlike down in that it is HEAVY and CRUNCHY but I do want to say that I too adore my buckwheat pillow as a person who previously was very devoted to trying to find just the right ratio of feather to down. So I think it is at least worth a try! You might enjoy one of your flattened feather pillows over a buckwheat guy.
posted by redfoxtail at 5:59 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
posted by redfoxtail at 5:59 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
I have and like a pillow filled with torn up latex foam shreds. It's squishy but moldable in a way the memory and other plastic foam shred pillows aren't.
Buckwheat hull pillows also might do what you want but I find them noisy enough to require earplugs (which I do regularly wear when sleeping).
posted by pullayup at 8:00 PM on December 17
Buckwheat hull pillows also might do what you want but I find them noisy enough to require earplugs (which I do regularly wear when sleeping).
posted by pullayup at 8:00 PM on December 17
I have similar pillow needs as you, and for years just made do with the second-cheapest pillow at Ikea. I'd tear up the clumpy polyfill a little bit so I could rearrange it under my neck just right, and it'd work for a while before the stuffing separated too completely into discreet clumps, which usually meant my middle-of-the-night pillow plumping ended in even more flat spots than I'd started with.
I just got this Nectar pillow from Costco (and it cost me under $40, despite the higher price listed on the website). The filling is torn-up foam, and though it's not latex, it does feel very moldable to me. It's not marketed as adjustable but I discovered a hidden zipper on the side that'll let you remove as much stuffing as you'd like (I removed almost half!). It also has prominent zippers along both long seams that open into "gusset pleats," I guess you could call them, which allow you to adjust the pillow's firmness further. I unzip both of these, which makes the pillow into a sort of rectangle. Then, if I position the pillow standing up on the flat "base" that an opened gusset creates, I can sleep with my neck resting on the opened upper gusset, which creates an almost perfect neck rest. Or I can mold the stuffing so I can read on my side while rest my neck on the upper base/gusset. It sounds like we have pretty similar pillow preferences, and, with the caveat that I haven't tried fancier pillows recommended here (and avoid down pillows because they're always either too tightly stuffed to mold, or have already gone flat after a few months of moldability), in my opinion this is the most comfortable solution I've found yet.
One caveat: this pillow is enormous — much too large for regular pillow cases (which just constrain it into unshapeable firmness, even with a lot of stuffing removed), so I ended up buying a 26"x26" European-style pillow case. If you sleep like me with both zippers open, it gives the pillow a shape that isn't conducive to actually staying inside a pillow case, so I recommend not only the extra-large pillow case, but to make sure it has a zipper. (And if you get it from Costco, you can take advantage of their absolutely excellent return policy if the pillow doesn't turn out to work for you.)
posted by knucklebones at 8:26 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
I just got this Nectar pillow from Costco (and it cost me under $40, despite the higher price listed on the website). The filling is torn-up foam, and though it's not latex, it does feel very moldable to me. It's not marketed as adjustable but I discovered a hidden zipper on the side that'll let you remove as much stuffing as you'd like (I removed almost half!). It also has prominent zippers along both long seams that open into "gusset pleats," I guess you could call them, which allow you to adjust the pillow's firmness further. I unzip both of these, which makes the pillow into a sort of rectangle. Then, if I position the pillow standing up on the flat "base" that an opened gusset creates, I can sleep with my neck resting on the opened upper gusset, which creates an almost perfect neck rest. Or I can mold the stuffing so I can read on my side while rest my neck on the upper base/gusset. It sounds like we have pretty similar pillow preferences, and, with the caveat that I haven't tried fancier pillows recommended here (and avoid down pillows because they're always either too tightly stuffed to mold, or have already gone flat after a few months of moldability), in my opinion this is the most comfortable solution I've found yet.
One caveat: this pillow is enormous — much too large for regular pillow cases (which just constrain it into unshapeable firmness, even with a lot of stuffing removed), so I ended up buying a 26"x26" European-style pillow case. If you sleep like me with both zippers open, it gives the pillow a shape that isn't conducive to actually staying inside a pillow case, so I recommend not only the extra-large pillow case, but to make sure it has a zipper. (And if you get it from Costco, you can take advantage of their absolutely excellent return policy if the pillow doesn't turn out to work for you.)
posted by knucklebones at 8:26 PM on December 17 [1 favorite]
A kapok pillow sounds perfect for you. One with a wool outer layer is a good idea because kapok is very flammable, but wool is flame retardant.
posted by Hex Wrench at 11:48 PM on December 17
posted by Hex Wrench at 11:48 PM on December 17
I felt the same way until I started using memory foam pillows. You really shouldn't be scrunching your pillows for support, it will leave your neck in weird positions if you shift. With memory foam, the support is just *there* and I shift a lot less. I'm shocked by how much more comfortably I sleep when Im not fighting my pillow all night to support my head properly. I have two on my bed at all times. One is a side sleeper contour and one is a regular pillow shape (that yes, is moldable if you're really feeling the need) and I alternate between the two as needed during the night, as I'm trying to train myself to sleep on my back to save my shoulders as I get older.
posted by ananci at 7:43 AM on December 18
posted by ananci at 7:43 AM on December 18
Instead of a standard cervical pillow I use this particular travel pillow that has an articulated shapeable spine inside it. That goes inside my main pillow's pillowcase and I can manipulate it around inside there with no problem.
posted by Lyn Never at 8:04 AM on December 18
posted by Lyn Never at 8:04 AM on December 18
Seconding the kapok suggestion. I'm typically a down pillow user, but I often find them too squishy and like you I find that they typically get too flat too quickly. I tried a kapok pillow at a store some time ago and was instantly smitten. It had a somehow wonderful-feeling density that down does not, but still had a down-like lightness and loftedness to it. I haven't gotten around to actually buying one yet, but it's on my wish list. It'd be worth trying one out I think, and seeing if you like it.
posted by marlys at 3:04 PM on December 18
posted by marlys at 3:04 PM on December 18
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posted by koahiatamadl at 1:34 PM on December 17 [3 favorites]