Ways to make a hospital stay better
November 2, 2024 10:30 AM   Subscribe

A friend is going to be in hospital for 3 weeks (cancer related) and she's really not looking forward to it. She's also generally had a shitty year above and beyond the whole cancer thing. I am a long way away and looking for suggestions on things I can send to help make their stay more tolerable. Maybe even occasionally pleasent.

They're nerdy, read a lot (I will be getting an apple gift card for them to buy ebooks), their first hospital stay started as an emergency and ended up as several month long stay while the Dr's tried to figure out what was wrong. They're very much not looking forward to another 3 weeks voluntarily.
posted by platypus of the universe to Health & Fitness (39 answers total) 14 users marked this as a favorite
 
Best answer: * Really long phone charging cord so that it can be easily plugged in no matter the geometry of the room.
* A backup battery would be great too.
* Noise cancelling earphones/headphones if she doesn't have a pair already.
* A soft fleece jacket she can put on to stay warm if the room is cold.
* Snacks that she likes, if not medically contraindicated.
posted by Blue Jello Elf at 10:35 AM on November 2 [10 favorites]


Echo the long charger cable.
Really excellent slipper socks.
An eye mask for sleeping, if it doesn't interfere with any tubes, etc.
posted by gingerbeer at 11:09 AM on November 2 [2 favorites]


The entire Project Gutenberg collection will fit on just one SD card.

A Game Dad.
posted by mhoye at 11:10 AM on November 2


I was constantly cold in my hospital room so I asked family to bring me an old twin comforter that was ok if it got stained. It made all the difference!
posted by Arctostaphylos at 11:23 AM on November 2 [5 favorites]


A really nice pillow + a pillowcase that is bright or wildly patterned. (Because my friend's really nice pillow had a white pillowcase and accidentally got left behind because it blended in with the hospital linens.)
posted by BlahLaLa at 11:26 AM on November 2 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Really good water bottle if she doesn't have one. Ditto vacuum insulated spill proof mug. If she's a tea person, a travel tea flask with infuser may be welcome.

Very fluffy blanket, it gets cold when you're immobile a lot. Socks ditto, try to get some that don't apply pressure to the skin (diabetic is a good search word). Extra pillows.

Spa stuff if she's at all into scents, because hospitals smell and getting away from that even for five minutes is a relief. Good thing is that it's advent calendar season - check if one of her favourite companies is doing a fun one. (I was going to recommend Rituals, but apparently Rituals doesn't do Canada and isn't selling the calendars in the US, unless you have someone who can smuggle one from Europe?)

21 vs 24 days is basically no difference - get her a fun advent calendar, period. Lego does one. Or roll your own, tiny things that double as a daily surprise and a countdown to Get Me Out Of Here.

Left field, but I know someone who really enjoyed getting an extra comfy chair and side table - that would require roping in local help for delivery if you aren't local.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 11:31 AM on November 2 [3 favorites]


Encourage your friend to get to know the names of their nurses and something about them. Where are they from? Do they have kids?

If you are visiting, you could the same thing.

Three weeks is a long time. Your friend will have a much better time if she establishes relationships with the nurses as people rather than as interchangeable cogs. If she does that, they will also relate to her more as a person who they know, rather than some patient who is here now and will then be replaced by someone else.

I learned this lesson from my sister during the last years of her life. Whenever I visited she’d introduce me to whichever caretaker came into the room. “She’s from the islands and has a daughter going to Boston College! Isn’t that great? And her son does IT work.”

It made it all much more bearable.

I realize not everyone has the personality to do that, but if she can at least learn their names and treat them as such, that will help.
posted by Winnie the Proust at 11:36 AM on November 2 [6 favorites]


Earplugs with a little case. Hand cream and lip balm (it can get cold and dry). In another thread, I read that photos of the patient can affect how the staff treat them, so photos would be nice.
posted by hooray at 11:43 AM on November 2 [2 favorites]


Previously.
posted by saturdaymornings at 11:44 AM on November 2


Having spent a month in a hospital, coming up on exactly two years ago...

It sucks.

Any kind of good sleep is impossible. Pumps going into alarm mode, nurses coming in all the time to get some blood, residents doing their rounds and stopping by at 6AM. So anything sleep related, thumbs up.

Tell her to engage with the nurses. They do all the heavy lifting. Don't piss off your nurse. Lesson learned.

Also agree with long charging cords.

Hope the hospital has decent TV channels.
posted by Windopaene at 11:45 AM on November 2 [1 favorite]


Magazines and pencil puzzles - anything that accommodates limited attention spans and cognitive fatigue.

Top up data on cell phone plan if needed.

If it wasn’t cancer I’d suggest food delivery gift cards, if you think the person would be interested in food at all you should get some.

High quality tea bags if your person drinks tea and an insulated travel mug.
posted by shock muppet at 11:48 AM on November 2


Edibles?
posted by latkes at 11:53 AM on November 2 [1 favorite]


I had to spend 9 days in the hospital on bedrest, and some of the things that helped pass the time: a DVD player and DVDs. Some hospitals have DVD players built into their televisions, but mine didn't at the time. I also really appreciated some craft kits (for me, I specifically really got into latch hook projects, but I would have been happy with embroidery or something like that). A journal, adult coloring book/colored pencils, collection of books to read, good snacks, a variety of tea (the hospital only had peppermint and chamomile in my case), a warm blanket and my own pillow, word searches and crossword puzzle books), nice slippers and cozy socks, and a decent bathrobe.
posted by I_love_the_rain at 12:33 PM on November 2


Best answer: What about an adult coloring book? I bought a friend a “Cheer the F Up” coloring book when she was in the hospital with cancer and it was well received.
posted by ticketmaster10 at 12:34 PM on November 2 [1 favorite]


On advent calendars: Amazon has a bunch of inexpensive puzzles that are broken into sections that look like they'd fit on a tray table: Grinch, cats, dogs, one of many scenes.
posted by aincandenza at 12:37 PM on November 2


Big fluffy fleece lined reading socks with grippy bottoms. The floors are always cold and shoes are a hassle when you've got IV.
posted by foxtongue at 12:44 PM on November 2


Hospital beds are generally super uncomfortable, and pillows are often hard to come by. A pillow, and, as noted above, very distinctive pillowcase

For the love of everything holy, do NOT send her any supplements or edibles. She should not be having any bioreactive chemicals of which her care team is unaware.

Will she have someone doing her laundry? The more changes of socks/underwear/etc she can get, the less often it will have to be done. Is she does not, then that's a whole other thing, but a laundry bag may be nice.

Sharpies and Expo markers are worth their weight in gold.
posted by DebetEsse at 12:56 PM on November 2 [1 favorite]


If sending any soft fabric things, make sure they can be sanitized. Avoid wool and down, go for cotton, linen, tencel, hypoallergenic down alternative, recycled synthetics.

A really nice eye mask so they can block out overhead hospital lights, and also a small rechargeable lamp that casts warm soft directed light, so they can have better lighting in bed to do activities or talk with visitors.

If you send coloring books, be sure to include coloring tools that are nice to hold and use. If you want to splurge, send prismacolor pencils, tombow markers, a good sharpener that has a cover that catches pencil shavings, and a pencil bag so everything can be contained.

If coloring is not their thing or their treatment might make it unfun, or to just send variety, check out these incredible sticker books. There are also things like sticker jigsaw books, sticker activity books, etc. A lovely way to pass some time without having to hunt for the green pencil lost under the hospital bed or whatever.

If you know what kind of headphones they use, you could find a stand or holder for them as they can be more easily found.

Best wishes to your friend! I was in the ER yesterday, so the myriad aggravations of the hospital are fresh on my mind.
posted by Mizu at 1:23 PM on November 2


In the hospital, I yearned for Stridex pads (or Sea Breeze and cotton balls). You’re not able to shower as much as you’d like, so that brisk fresh feeling goes a really long way toward feeling clean.
posted by mochapickle at 1:40 PM on November 2


Please do not give her edibles, nothing gets you unnecessary CT scans like changes in level of consciousness or odd behavior. Some pictures of herself and her family/friends, so the staff see her as other than a patient. Lots of entertainment - movies, crossword books, small jigsaw puzzles even, that can be done on a bedside table. Anything that helps sleep is huge, hospitals, even on a quiet cancer floor, are terrible for sleep hygiene.
posted by Pantengliopoli at 1:58 PM on November 2 [1 favorite]


My brother was in the hospital for an extended stay. The item he appreciated from me was a box of "Hot hands" his hands and feet were perpetually cold. Socks helped his feet. Those hand warmer things helped his hands.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 2:01 PM on November 2


thirding NO EDIBLES. I can't even count the ways in which this could wreak havoc on her care.

Definitely cozy socks and hand warmers, maybe a throw blanket or scarf as well.

If there are podcasts she likes, maybe see if any of them have subscriptions for bonus episodes, which perhaps you could gift to her?
posted by paper scissors sock at 2:51 PM on November 2


Will they have dietary restrictions? Because good chocolate makes everything better.
posted by Thorzdad at 3:02 PM on November 2


Good lip balm, moisturizer, long charging chord, sleep mask, earplugs and/or noise-canceling headphones, nice hairbrush/other toiletries - for awhile mom had a hospital "go bag" with most of these things in it, because otherwise she was cold, kept awake, and dried out.
posted by ldthomps at 3:07 PM on November 2


depending on the chemo, they may not be in the mood for snacks -- but tasty broths, kefir, protein drinks (maybe a variety to try), lil ice creams all may be nice. if they're a vegetarian probably some home-cooked stuff bc hospital options are typically poor.

cozy socks with grippies on the bottom and/or some nice long but like not intense compression socks if there's a lot of fluids with their chemo.
if they have a picc, port, or central line, a roll of glad press-n-seal for wrapping up during showers.
scent-free lotion for sensitive skin, though they typically have this to dispense in pharmacy.
lip balm
maybe one of those little finger teeth brusher things for babies, it can be hard to get motivated to do self care when you're in it.
dry shampoo
maybe a small network of people to check in via text or whatever with low expectations about chatting -- loneliness and boredoms are hallmarks of hospital stays.

hospital usually has a heating pad available if you ask also.
posted by sibboleth at 3:15 PM on November 2


Check in with her when you can—even just texting is good. If she wants to vent about her days, let her.

I rarely get manicures and pedicures, but a friend advised me to get them before my c-section years ago, and it really did give me a bit of a boost, even when I was feeling awful and unable to shower. Can you get her a gift card for that prior to her hospital stay?
posted by TEA at 3:16 PM on November 2 [1 favorite]


Does she like video games? A Nintendo Switch can make just about any environment fun.

If she already has one, try getting her a new game in a genre she likes.

(Bonus: unless you're playing online multiplayer, any game can be 'paused' at any time by pressing the home button, so no worries that interruptions will ruin things.)
posted by demi-octopus at 3:38 PM on November 2


She *definitely* needs to borrow or buy an iPad if she doesn't already have one. Probably an iPad Air for weight reasons.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 4:34 PM on November 2


Response by poster: So many helpful ideas, thank you! And advent calendar as a countdown is an excellent idea!
Couldn't mark everyone as best answer but I wanted to!
(Also no worries about sending edibles, I figure if those are working for her then that's something she can get locally in consultation with her doctors.)
posted by platypus of the universe at 5:02 PM on November 2 [1 favorite]


Soft pleasant lighting at night! You need Incandescent white fairy lights - get “incandescent white icicle lights” on a white cord and they MUST be incandescent not LED - these give off lots of warm pretty light, don’t get too tangled, and look the best by daylight. And a switch extension cord that easily reaches her bed. I always bring this setup for all hospital stays of my loved ones, and everybody raves on how nice it makes the room feel!
posted by nouvelle-personne at 6:03 PM on November 2


something to watch movies/shows on like a tablet and a gift card to rent/buy things on Amazon/Apple/whatever... chemo messes with your mind and they may not be up for reading, but shows can pass the time

nthing noise canceling headphones... also earplugs and a cozy eye mask for sleeping... hospitals are loud and bright (even at night with lights off the machines glow)

basically anything that helps with sleeping... chemo is exhausting... a stuffy to curl up with, cozy pillows and blankets... cozy pjs and layers to wear... hospital gowns are a drag

grubhub credit... sometimes you can get food delivered and picked up by a visitor... having a change of pace from hospital food is nice (to the extent they even have an appetite and aren't on a restrictive diet)... tho depending on the hospital, the nicer hospitals in nyc (msk, nyu) actually have pretty decent food from my experience

(i have way too much experience with cancer hospitals because of my kiddo)
posted by kokaku at 7:05 PM on November 2


Forget the long charging cords. I found they just got tangled around me, my wires, etc. Portable power banks are the way. 2, so one is always charging and one is always available. That way you can charge your devices next to you in bed.

Good headphones, not earbuds. Little things get lost too easily. I now have ones that are built into a wide headband so you can wear them in bed, and I wish I had that for my hospital stay!

Snack, snacks and more snacks. Portion packaged, easy to grab and eat. Hospital food is horrible. Anything they sell in the hospital is overpriced.
posted by cgg at 11:02 PM on November 2 [1 favorite]


Hospital delirium happens partly because/when people are in 1 unchanging environment for many days on end.

So: send fresh flowers a few times - different arrangements.

Wall calendar and clock, if there isn't one already in there.

Art for the wall (prints for instance).
posted by brainwane at 1:38 AM on November 3


I spent three months in hospital and if your friend is doing intensive chemo/radiation therapy she may not have the energy or inclination for activities. I know I didn't. I had no interest in reading, watching, or listening to anything. I also had no interest in food of any kind.

What I did really appreciate was my pillow from home with silk case and lots of clean pajamas. Hospital cancer stays often involve various icky 'fluids' getting onto your clothes. I eventually gave up and wore their stupid pajamas because we couldn't keep up on laundering my own but they are nice to have.

I loved having my soft pink blanket for warmth and comfort, and nice bed socks with grippy soles. Grippy soles are essential if she is going to be getting up at all, even for the bathroom. I had a nasty fall in hospital and broke two ribs, you don't want that! Also agreeing on the really long phone charging cord, it was a lifesaver! And lip balm -- I used so much lip balm(watch that there is no mint or eucalyptus in the balm, it really stings if your mouth is sore from chemo).

Scented items are really a no-go in most hospitals so although they would be nice, they're not allowed in most cancer wards. Something I would have liked, though, would have been like an antique vinagrette, a little pad in a container that you could soak in an essential oil or perfume and just open it and sniff it -- that would not violate non-scent directives because the scent is not getting dispersed at all.

I couldn't handle phone conversations at all -- I went non-communication with everyone but texting was something I could do. Although it sometimes took a while to get back to people, I liked reading my texts and looking at pictures people sent to me of their pets, etc. Frankly, I looked like hell, so I didn't want to Zoom or FaceTime at all. Your friend may be more comfortable with this but don't feel bad if they don't want to. But do send pictures. It's nice to see the outside world, even on a phone.

Little packets of drink crystals are nice, if your friend can have them. Water gets pretty boring after a week or so but avoid anything too acidic if they are doing chemo. A special stuffed animal or other talisman is nice. You can look at it from bed. I found my little Paddington Bear a great comfort, just sitting on the bedside table watching me.

Hospitals generally supply good strong non-scented, hypoallergenic moisturizers. Again, scented stuff is often frowned upon and chemo skin is very sensitive, so don't go overboard on nice lotions. I lost all my hair, so shampoos weren't needed but a warm fuzzy hat was great. I just used a regular fleece beanie because to me it looked 'normal' and not like some kind of 'cancer hat'.

I love flowers but alas, flowers and plants are not allowed in many parts of a hospital. especially if anyone is immune-compromised or on chemo. Do check with the hospital for guidance on what is and what is not allowed on the ward.

Good luck and best wishes to your friend. Extended hospital stays are a drag, but you're a great friend to try to make her stay more pleasant.
posted by alltomorrowsparties at 2:24 AM on November 3 [1 favorite]


I would not trust to the hospital's guest WiFi for music or audiobooks. Or for downloading books from your library's app, come to that. Make sure her phone (and any phone-connected tablet) has a robust data plan.
posted by SemiSalt at 4:05 AM on November 3


Recommending Gripjoy for lots of kinds of nonslip gripper socks.
posted by humbug at 6:27 AM on November 3 [1 favorite]


and for the record, based on their post-tags, alltomorrowparties and I are describing a similar chemo situation, which is often the most intensive, longest hospital duration chemotherapy. not all of our rules apply but it's helpful to remember that for some types of cancers/chemo regimens, you can't do the same nice things for people (but there are plenty of nice things to do!)
posted by sibboleth at 8:34 AM on November 3 [1 favorite]


my mom has a chronic condition that puts her in the hospital - not regularly, but unavoidably, and we've gotten a lot better at making sure she's comfortable. I have a "go bag" prepacked, much like you do before you go into the hospital to have a baby. Most of whats in it has already been mentioned here, but two things that she uses a lot are a purse organizer thing - https://a.co/d/3AC6LOn - something like this - it makes it much easier to keep all these little things close at hand, even next to her in the bed, but easily moved to the tray or nightstand. Also, a trash container originally meant for a car, so it has straps, and I attach it to the bed railing. You'd be surprised how much trash you accumulate in the hospital, and this way it's not cluttering up the bed tray.

If your friend wears glasses or readers, a spare pair of them. A nail file, nail clippers, lip balm, hand sanitizer and lotion. Mom likes to have a clock on her tray because she can't see the wall clock at night. Stuff that she's allowed like tylenol, because that can be a big production to get from busy nurses. Cough drops or vitamin c drops for dry mouth. She loves her coffee, so I make sure to have a travel mug and shelf stable creamer, because they'll often give her coffee from the nurse's station but the fixings aren't as easy to get. And spares - hairbrush, comb, headphones, all the little things that can get lost in the sheets or knocked under furniture- sure you can bring a replacement when you visit but that can take a long time, and time already passes so slow in the hospital, and little things like that become huge when you have nothing else to occupy you. The hospital will provide non slip socks but they're awful, really, so nicer ones are great.
posted by lemniskate at 9:19 AM on November 3 [1 favorite]


Response by poster: I'm just going to note this for future question havers: handwarmers aren't allowed for my person because chemo changes sensitivity and it increases the chances of burns from such products. So check in advance if that's on your list
posted by platypus of the universe at 12:16 PM on November 6


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