I hate my condo. Now what?
October 31, 2024 10:53 AM   Subscribe

In spring of 2022, I bought my first home (a condo). I hate it, I hate home ownership, and I want out. What are my options?

I put 20% down (almost all of my money) and have very little in savings now. I make additional payments to chip away $500 per month off of the principal. Still, there's no way that I'll be able to sell it for what I bought it for for a very long time (bought for $300k, owe $270k, nothing is moving right now and I'd expect to get $200k before fees if I put it on the market right now). I do not want to be a landlord (can't rent it for the price I'd need, am lazy, and have class objections to the idea of it). I want to return to the world of renting going forward. In this situation, what do people do? Or is this a job for a financial advisor?
posted by sugarbomb to Work & Money (30 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
 
Sounds like you need a financial advisor, if only to clarify some of the math. If you put 20% down then it looks like your mortgage is for 240k. if you've additionally been paying on the principle for , say, 18 months, that's another 9k in your favor, so you should owe 231k.
I don't follow the real estate market that closely, but casual reading indicates very very few markets have lost 20-30% in the past two years, rental markets are tight, and inventories are low, rates are starting to go down. Those conditions seem favorable, in general, but your market may indeed be different.
So yes, get a professional to see which read is correct, mine or yours.
posted by OHenryPacey at 11:07 AM on October 31 [20 favorites]


What do you hate about home ownership? It seems a little unclear.

If you sell it for less than the mortgage amount then generally you will have to pay that money (the difference between the mortgage and the selling price) to the lender. Paying more, as you have done, reduces that delta, so you are on the right track. Will your area ever regain to the price where you bought it?
posted by saucysault at 11:09 AM on October 31


Stop putting the extra money against your mortgage and use it to make your life happier or in savings so that you can move out.

Try to figure out exactly what you dislike about your place, is it the neighbors? location? Feeling permanently tied someplace?

See how much places in your condo are being rented out for, and decide if losing 300$-500 a month renting it out is worth your mental health and have a plan for how long you'll rent it out for. Also try to find a place that would cost the same amount of rent, so you'd break evenish that way.
posted by Art_Pot at 11:10 AM on October 31 [15 favorites]


As saucysalt points out, you want to make sure you have a clear assessment of the situation and the numbers you are dealing with so that you have the information you need to make an informed decision. So step 1: get accurate numbers for the available options.

Until then, let's assume all your numbers are correct as stated. You will need to reconcile whether you hate home ownership more or losing money on the sale of your condo more. Put another way, which option will be easier for you to accept or feel better about? This takes time, deep thought, and understanding yourself and what you're willing and able to put up with temperamentally and financially.
posted by Goblin Barbarian at 11:16 AM on October 31


Response by poster: To answer a few questions:

@saucysault: The things I hate about home ownership:
-Feeling trapped (this is huge for me)
-It’s far more expensive than I had anticipated, even for a condo. I am spending much more than I would on renting
-The building itself is noisy af due to poor construction and I can’t get clearance from the HOA to add insulation
-I’m tired of my city
-It feels like a thing that is expected of you as some benchmark of success, and I’m increasingly questioning whether or not those are the things that I actually want for myself, or if they’re just what society tells me to want.

@OHenryPacey: Apologies, you are correct! I should have checked my math more closely before posting. I owe $229k.

Ok, back to lurking. Thank you all! This has already been helpful.
posted by sugarbomb at 11:28 AM on October 31 [2 favorites]


Things to consider: What are the factors which have apparently caused the housing market in your area to plunge? Are they likely to change anytime soon? How much of an economic loss can you tolerate?
posted by metasarah at 11:38 AM on October 31 [1 favorite]


You can sell for less than you owe - that's called a 'short sale', and you have to get your lender to agree to it, but with the currently positive housing market, they will probably require you to stop paying and foreclose. This wrecks your credit, so rent a place beforehand if you are considering it, and see if you live in a non-recourse state.

The other option is to live there for 1 more year, and that should be enough to drive some price appreciation for a regular sale.
posted by The_Vegetables at 11:43 AM on October 31 [2 favorites]


A good real estate agent with recent experience in the local condo market could help you learn more about your options and make a plan. If you bought this place with an agent and had a good experience with them, you could contact them and tell them you're considering selling it. If you weren't happy with them, you could ask people you know for referrals to new potential agents. You could ask: what do they think is a realistic market price for the unit? Is there anything you could do to improve the price at a low cost? (Maybe there are minor DIY updates that could help it appeal to a buyer.) What timing would they recommend for selling?
posted by dreamyshade at 11:58 AM on October 31 [1 favorite]


@ferrari228: OP explicitly said they don't want to be a landlord, and also if OP can't rent it for what their monthly payment would be, which they also said, it can be assumed underwater renting PLUS paying a management company is off the table.

OP: definitely talk to both a financial advisor and a realtor - there may be options here you haven't considered yet. Stop putting extra money to your mortgage and put that extra in your savings, though, so you can have money to pay rent in a place once you are in a position to move.

Also, don't worry about what society says - if you're happier renting, rent! You have to live in a way that makes you happiest.
posted by pdb at 12:09 PM on October 31 [2 favorites]


Landlords mostly suck, but it is technically possible to be a not-sucky landlord (and, hopefully you'll find one when you move out.) It sounds like renting the place out with a rental agent might be your best bet at this point. Probably you'll end up running a little short every month, but that might be your best option (short of coming up with $70k up front) and lets you hedge against the housing market recovering.

For an example, I pay an agent 1 month's rent + $130/month for complete hands-off management of a condo in Minneapolis.
posted by eraserbones at 12:11 PM on October 31 [5 favorites]


I do not want to be a landlord (can't rent it for the price I'd need, am lazy, and have class objections to the idea of it).

Can't help with the price or effort issues, but as a lifelong renter - where would I live if there were no owners renting out spaces?

I think the best answer to class objections about being a landlord - when you're already an owner to begin with - is to be a good and fair landlord, charge less than the market rate if the market rate is not reasonable, maybe look for tenants who would have a hard time renting ordinarily, etc. Or course, these all make the profit/breaking-even and no-work aspects harder.

I am spending much more than I would on renting


What's your actual financial situation? Can you afford to just take a loss on the property?
posted by trig at 12:13 PM on October 31 [6 favorites]


To hell with the idea that you need to rent to be a grownup or wtf-ever, but I too am lightly puzzled as to where you could be living that home prices have deflated like 25% in the last two years, so strongly endorse the idea of speaking to a financial advisor and a realtor.
posted by praemunire at 12:29 PM on October 31 [13 favorites]


Fundamentally, you only have a few options:

1) Keep living there.
2) Sell, it sounds like with a loss that you'll have to cover somehow (if the location in your profile is accurate, you live in a recourse state and your lender can come after you for the difference) or causing bankruptcy or at least scorched credit, depending on how far underwater you are, your other assets, etc.
3) Rent it out.

If you don't want to live there anymore and selling doesn't seem like a good option now, then maybe it's time to investigate the economics of renting it out, even it's not what you'd prefer. This is an unpleasant situation, I hope you are able to move forward and accept the least bad option.
posted by ssg at 12:31 PM on October 31 [3 favorites]


Response by poster: @pramuniere: My estimate is based on the fact that I believe I’d need to aggressively undercut myself in order to sell. A unit in my building (that is more attractive than mine, with the same layout) has been sitting on the market for 8 months now at the price that I paid and no takers. I live in a city that was overhyped and now has more people leaving than coming. I live near a downtown that people have soured on. And I overpaid two years ago, so the $200k is more in line with asking prices for comparable condos at the moment if I want to sell quickly, at least until interest rates go down.

I appreciate all of this wisdom.
posted by sugarbomb at 12:41 PM on October 31 [1 favorite]


Back when you could get 100% mortgages in the UK I bought a flat. Then the market collapsed …whatever, I was an owner occupier and could wait … then I started a secondment overseas, market had not yet recovered so I could not afford to sell my flat and realise the loss. So I was stuck with letting it and hiring an agency to manage it. For the first few years the rental income after fees was less than my mortgage, blessedly the difference was low enough for me to cover on my salary. I have no moral objections to being a landlord.

Consider that this may be one of those situations where you can’t have it all.

You can live in your condo until the market recovers and then sell. Accept your discomfort as price for avoiding significant financial losses.

You can let the place and instead of making overpayments you use some or all of that money to make up the difference between post agency fee rental income and your mortgage/condo fees. You moral objections to being a landlord are the price for leaving the place for avoiding a significant financial loss.

Or you wreck your finances and accept the loss. Unless you have rich friends/family you’re unlikely to get anybody to give you a loan to fund the loss over time. So you’re not just incurring the loss but also wrecking your credit for many years.

You might have to pick whatever you’ll find easiest to deal with.
posted by koahiatamadl at 12:45 PM on October 31 [7 favorites]


Mod note: A few comments deleted. The OP stated that they don't want to be a landlord, please respect that.
posted by loup (staff) at 1:04 PM on October 31


There are things you can do for noise abatement that don’t involve the HOA. For example, leave their shared wall alone and build out your own drywall (either with insulation or with a noise dampening space). Lowering the noise levels will help with your ambient stress.

The first five years of ownership are the worst. You are investing in your long term future. Consider what rent will be 20 years out. Unless you camp out in a rent controlled apartment, you will be exposed to market increases in rent that could outpace your early year outlays in your home. Since you mentioned not wanting to be stuck or trapped, rent market forces will get to you.

Try to take the long view, do not prepay extra, focus on taking some time for recreation and things you like. Your feelings may change over time.
posted by shock muppet at 1:13 PM on October 31 [4 favorites]


Would bringing in a roommate change how you feel about the living space? Would it feel more like "I am renting again"?

I know this functionally might be landlord-y but somehow it feels different to me when you yourself are also living in the space.
posted by BlahLaLa at 1:30 PM on October 31 [2 favorites]


RE feeling trapped: I get this, I really do. I have felt this way in the past about other major life choices (not housing necessarily but things like changing cities, getting a dog, choosing a partner, etc) I think that this question is a good one to help you explore the ways you might not actually be trapped, and that some of the info you gather here can help you draft a full list of your choices (no matter how suboptimal some of those choices may be).

I encourage you to remind yourself that you ALWAYS have a choice. Now, is letting the unit go into foreclosure and ruining your credit your preferred choice? Probably not, but there are situations when that actually might be the preferred choice for you, and frankly that’s ok. Remind yourself that if you stay in the condo, it is a decision you are making freely after considering all of your choices.
posted by samthemander at 1:36 PM on October 31 [4 favorites]


My uninformed opinion- suck it up for a year or two until the property value rises to more than what you owe, then sell and go back to being a renter again. I don't really see any other viable options, unless finances aren't a concern for you. Not ideal but at least you're not stuck there forever. You could always try a house swap or something creative in the meantime to feel less trapped.
posted by emd3737 at 1:36 PM on October 31 [2 favorites]


I think a financial advisor is a good idea because the math in play here isn't just the math of the condo today, it's the math of your life in retirement too. (I do not want to be paying rent in my retirement.)

But if you do decide that in terms of the life you want and the money you have, renting is for you, I would absolutely talk to a realtor to get an idea of the market value of your condo before going to see the financial advisor. You need those figures to have a realistic conversation with the FA.
posted by DarlingBri at 1:44 PM on October 31 [1 favorite]


I am hearing a lot of emotion in this (feeling trapped) so maybe address that first and then you will see the financial / plan a lot more clearly and make a solid decision from there. Otherwise you’re just bouncing with emotion. As said above, think of the mortgage as a forced retirement savings + some bank fees (interest) and this may help too.

Without a future plan (where you would move next / which city / what job) consider that you may be fixating on this condo as a channel for bad feelings. I know I do this. Consider what emotions led you to make this purchase a few years ago may possibly help.
posted by St. Peepsburg at 2:40 PM on October 31 [3 favorites]


The place in your building is listed at $300,000 and hasn't moved for months. Have you been in it? Could it have some weird smell or a terrible kitchen or other renovation? Also, not selling at $300,000 doesn't mean you can't get, say, $260,000 for yours. You might still be able to come out ahead, no?

I agree with others to stop putting $500 more a month towards your mortgage. Would having that extra money in your pocket help compensate for all the other stuff you don't like?
posted by bluedaisy at 2:49 PM on October 31 [3 favorites]


Given your constraints, it sounds like the only option is to take a bath and suck up the pain. What else is there to say?
posted by 2N2222 at 2:56 PM on October 31


I agree with the comments about the trapped feeling. 3 of your points are feelings and 2 are facts. Here's what I would do:

1. I think you've decided you're leaving. So that decision is done. It's now just a question of when.

2. One approach would be to set a price/threshhold. It could be 'if I can get out of here and break even I'll do it" or it might be "I'm okay to ruin my credit" or it could be "I can scrape up 10k in loss."

3. Talk to an agent and explain what you need to get out of your condo (remember to take fees and taxes and all that into account) and that you will happily list and sell as soon as they believe you can get that dollar amount.

4. Map out, given that you're still making payment (stop pre-paying) a chart that shows your principal so you can see it going down a bit each month.

5. Work on making your life currently as great as it can be - join a new hobby group or take your $500 for the odd weekend away or whatever.

6. Take steps towards your new life - maybe that's upping your credentials and skills to get work elsewhere or maybe you work remotely and instead it's building muscles for skiing in your new place or learning to scuba dive for your new oceanfront life or whatever.

At some point the dots on the graph will line up and then you'll be ready. Remember, you can always pull the rip cord and ruin your credit in between. You're not trapped. You are leaving.
posted by warriorqueen at 3:27 PM on October 31 [4 favorites]


I think to get out of this you just need to adjust the way you are looking at it. So, you owe $229,000 on the mortgage. Therefore, all you really need to get out of a sale is $229,000 - then the mortgage is paid and you're free and clear. Stop worrying about making a profit on the place and consider this: you've lived there for two and a half years. Think about the money you have already spent as rent. You didn't lose money: you just paid the bank rent. A lot of rent - $2,333 a month to be specific - but hey, that's practically market cost. You are breaking even when you leave and it's done. The condo will no longer be costing you money.

Find a real estate agent you like (you have to really like them, don't go with someone you just think is kind of okay, trust me on this) tell them this is what you have to net out of a sale and ask them to put the condo on the market for whatever the amount is that covers that net plus any taxes, fees, etc. Tell them you won't negotiate - that's just the price. I don't know where you live but $229,000 is pretty dang cheap. In my city at that price it would sell in hours. (The rest of the building is going to HATE you for dropping the property values but, hey, whatever - you're moving.) If you can possibly swing it, go ahead and move out. Places sell better and faster if they are empty and living in a house that's being shown is pure unmitigated hell: skip that if you can. Then you're done. You're free. You didn't make any money but you learned something. Remember, you didn't actually lose any money either: all the money that is gone was just rent.
posted by mygothlaundry at 3:57 PM on October 31 [3 favorites]


I dislike being a homeowner for most of the same reasons you mention, except I'm on the other side of the market, where property values and rents have gone up enough that I couldn't really rent more cheaply than keeping my mortgage.

I'm making the best of it and keeping an eye on the market and my finances so I'll know if/when it makes sense to sell up. Sometimes my neighbors are quiet enough I sleep through the night and my garden is doing well and I like it here. Sometimes I go camping because I can't take it any more. I know there are financial benefits to staying, and I do that math every once in a while to check that I'm still making the right choice.
posted by momus_window at 3:59 PM on October 31


It doesn't sound like you want to sink more money into this place, but since you mention noise as a factor that makes you unhappy, you might look at some other options for soundproofing that are not insulation. Since those kinds of repairs are likely solely to the interior of your space, your HOA shouldn't be able to object.

Some upgrades might make staying a bit longer more tolerable while adding value to your home once you are in a better position to sell.
posted by brookeb at 4:57 PM on October 31 [1 favorite]


It can help to talk through the trapped/hopeless/unfixable feelings with your mental health care team before making any major financial decisions. Your current home may be making you feel those things OR your brain may be misidentifying the cause as something in your environment when it's really brain chemistry, stress, hormones, or anything else going on in your body that you only have a chance to feel when you're trying to relax at home. Either way they can help you talk through the short, medium, and long term planning. It would absolutely suck to move only to find you still feel the same way in the next place.
posted by Gable Oak at 6:00 PM on October 31


I might switch up the thinking a bit. Put a dollar amount on how much getting out of this situation is worth to you. How much money can you afford (or are you willing to spend) to return to a life of renting? Then talk to a financial advisor and figure out the magic condo number. If I can sell my condo for X, i will end up spending no more than I wanted to. Make sure this sell value X includes real estate fees, cost of moving, etc etc. Selling for anything less isn't worth it to you / isn't affordable for you. You've already decided on that number. Now it's just math - theres no emotion in play.

Then when you have that number you're willing to sell for, talk to a real estate agent who knows the area, and see if thats a reasonable goal. If it is, sell for that amount and your done. If not, now you're working to figure out how to get to that goal. Maybe that means waiting for the market. Maybe it means finding ways to invest in your place that will increase its value without you spending more than you gain. Maybe it means finding ways to earn extra money so you can afford to take a bigger loss. Maybe it means re-evaluating how you could rent your place out and be ok with it until the market is better. Or maybe it means just accepting that the cost of returning to the renter lifestyle just isn't in the cards for you right now, and instead you can work on ways to find happiness in other ways.
posted by cgg at 7:41 PM on October 31


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