Mis-fortune teller
October 12, 2024 6:04 AM Subscribe
My kid signed up to work the fortune teller’s booth at her elementary school’s Halloween fair. Help us come up with brief, funny predictions suitable for kids age 5-10. She wants about an equal mix of good luck and minor bad luck.
At that age I loved The Witch's Handbook which contains a lot of amusing sayings and old wives' tales, many of which I still quote.
posted by Ardnamurchan at 6:15 AM on October 12 [1 favorite]
posted by Ardnamurchan at 6:15 AM on October 12 [1 favorite]
You may find fortune cookies inspirational.
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:45 AM on October 12 [2 favorites]
posted by Tell Me No Lies at 6:45 AM on October 12 [2 favorites]
Short fortunes followed by …”in the bathtub”. Any fortune will then be funny!
posted by waving at 7:11 AM on October 12
posted by waving at 7:11 AM on October 12
If she's ever lost for a fortune, the good old standby of either "the letter/number [x] will be very important to you next month" always has legs.
posted by phunniemee at 7:19 AM on October 12 [6 favorites]
posted by phunniemee at 7:19 AM on October 12 [6 favorites]
"Your next haircut will be... amazing"
posted by patricio at 7:48 AM on October 12 [4 favorites]
posted by patricio at 7:48 AM on October 12 [4 favorites]
Look at each kid and pick a color they are wearing, but not the most common color they have on. That can be their lucky color. So for example, little kid all in pink but with blue hair barrettes - “blue will be your lucky color next month.” Or, kid wearing blue jeans and a black tshirt but they have a green Minecraft backpack - “wear green to help boost your good fortune this season.” Because they will be wearing this color but it won’t be their immediate go-to, they will notice it at a bit of a delay.
They could also do the reverse. Pick a color they are not wearing at all and tell them to avoid it for a week so their luck will improve.
posted by Mizu at 8:03 AM on October 12 [2 favorites]
They could also do the reverse. Pick a color they are not wearing at all and tell them to avoid it for a week so their luck will improve.
posted by Mizu at 8:03 AM on October 12 [2 favorites]
“Free candy is in your future.”
“Work hard and good luck will follow.”
“One million dollars will be yours…someday.”
“You will receive bad advice from a fortune teller.”
“A request will be denied.”
“You will make a mistake soon…but will learn from it.”
posted by DB Cooper at 8:24 AM on October 12 [7 favorites]
“Work hard and good luck will follow.”
“One million dollars will be yours…someday.”
“You will receive bad advice from a fortune teller.”
“A request will be denied.”
“You will make a mistake soon…but will learn from it.”
posted by DB Cooper at 8:24 AM on October 12 [7 favorites]
Not mine, but I am still laughing about the fortune “you will fart a snail” that one of my students wrote in a cootie catcher many years ago. (Possibly better for slightly older kids.)
posted by corey flood at 8:50 AM on October 12 [7 favorites]
posted by corey flood at 8:50 AM on October 12 [7 favorites]
Might any of the teachers collude by tipping her off about their plans? It would absolutely astound and delight many of my kid's similarly-aged schoolmates if, say, the fortune teller successfully predicted an upcoming field trip prior to the general announcement, or that a staff member would do something implausibly quirky.
posted by teremala at 9:21 AM on October 12 [11 favorites]
posted by teremala at 9:21 AM on October 12 [11 favorites]
Watch out for…
…untied shoe laces
…uneven pavement
…large puddles
…Friday the 13th
Something good will happen if you…
…choose kindness
Get lost…
…in a good book
…in a good movie
posted by oceano at 9:48 AM on October 12 [4 favorites]
…untied shoe laces
…uneven pavement
…large puddles
…Friday the 13th
Something good will happen if you…
…choose kindness
Get lost…
…in a good book
…in a good movie
posted by oceano at 9:48 AM on October 12 [4 favorites]
A stitch in time saves nine
A wrinkle in time saves a dime
Pennywise, pound foolish
A fool and his money are easily parted
A fool and his money are soon partying
Fortune favors fools
Fortune favors the bold
A penny saved is a penny earned
(apologies to Ben Franklin)
Something something.. knee-high to a grasshopper. ((My granny used to say this and it kept me thinking about how giant the knees of a grasshopper can be as a unit of measure)
Something something ... Bee's Knees (There must have been a knee fetish in my family history... oh, no, I've said too much...)
Playful rhyming stuff would be great for kids with language skills.
Hunger is the best pickle. Franklin again. Dead presidents talk. (metaphor for bribing.)
Fun to riff on this stuff.
posted by effluvia at 10:41 AM on October 12
A wrinkle in time saves a dime
Pennywise, pound foolish
A fool and his money are easily parted
A fool and his money are soon partying
Fortune favors fools
Fortune favors the bold
A penny saved is a penny earned
(apologies to Ben Franklin)
Something something.. knee-high to a grasshopper. ((My granny used to say this and it kept me thinking about how giant the knees of a grasshopper can be as a unit of measure)
Something something ... Bee's Knees (There must have been a knee fetish in my family history... oh, no, I've said too much...)
Playful rhyming stuff would be great for kids with language skills.
Hunger is the best pickle. Franklin again. Dead presidents talk. (metaphor for bribing.)
Fun to riff on this stuff.
posted by effluvia at 10:41 AM on October 12
You will be lucky when you least expect it.
posted by effluvia at 10:43 AM on October 12 [2 favorites]
posted by effluvia at 10:43 AM on October 12 [2 favorites]
Patience is the Key to Joy. Chinese proverb.
When the game is over, the king and the pawn return to the same box. Russian proverb.
posted by effluvia at 11:07 AM on October 12
When the game is over, the king and the pawn return to the same box. Russian proverb.
posted by effluvia at 11:07 AM on October 12
You will be older tomorrow.
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:34 AM on October 12
posted by toodleydoodley at 11:34 AM on October 12
Your battery will suddenly lose power when you least expect it.
That thing you thought about trying out for? You're going to make it.
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 12:57 PM on October 12 [1 favorite]
That thing you thought about trying out for? You're going to make it.
posted by Former Congressional Representative Lenny Lemming at 12:57 PM on October 12 [1 favorite]
- Someone will ask you a strange question and you won't know the answer, but you will try to help find the answer anyway as a kindness.
- You will never win the big Lottery
- You will eventually see a car license plate that includes part of you name
- You will make a new friend soon
- The number 42 seems to be significant in some aspects of your future (or any number really)
- Self-confidence will serve you well during upcoming months
posted by forthright at 1:50 PM on October 12
- You will never win the big Lottery
- You will eventually see a car license plate that includes part of you name
- You will make a new friend soon
- The number 42 seems to be significant in some aspects of your future (or any number really)
- Self-confidence will serve you well during upcoming months
posted by forthright at 1:50 PM on October 12
Tomorrow is your future.
posted by mmascolino at 3:24 PM on October 12
posted by mmascolino at 3:24 PM on October 12
You're going to stub your toe while eating an ice cream cone; but it won't hurt too bad.
posted by achrise at 6:18 PM on October 12
posted by achrise at 6:18 PM on October 12
One day in the future, you will see a very green page on the internet, and this fortune will make sense to you.
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:40 PM on October 12 [1 favorite]
posted by Calvin and the Duplicators at 6:40 PM on October 12 [1 favorite]
"A person in disguise will give you a gift".
posted by fiercekitten at 10:01 PM on October 12
posted by fiercekitten at 10:01 PM on October 12
Mod note: One removed; we ask that people not use AI for answers in Ask Metafilter. (If posters want ChatGTP, etc., answers, they can just do that directly.) Thanks!
posted by taz (staff) at 10:18 PM on October 12 [1 favorite]
posted by taz (staff) at 10:18 PM on October 12 [1 favorite]
Sometime in the next three months you're going to try a kind of cookie you've never had before.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:59 AM on October 13
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 7:59 AM on October 13
I did this a few years back at my kids' elementary school and it was a blast! Some fortunes I shared...
*This year in school you will read a book that you will love for the rest of your life.
*There is a subject in school that, right now, you think you don't like. By the end of the school year, you will be surprised how much you like it.
posted by Sublimity at 6:47 PM on October 13
*This year in school you will read a book that you will love for the rest of your life.
*There is a subject in school that, right now, you think you don't like. By the end of the school year, you will be surprised how much you like it.
posted by Sublimity at 6:47 PM on October 13
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posted by SaltySalticid at 6:13 AM on October 12 [3 favorites]