Help me dress as an old going to a concert
September 1, 2024 2:00 PM Subscribe
Mrs Abehammerb bought Glass Beams tickets up in SF.
I’m a 50 year old white dude. A very large and tall 50+ year old white dude with short hair. I already look like a narc. (I smell like a dispensary). I don’t want to look like a “try hard” too.
Any hints from more junior people?
Not sure if my good old black jeans, contrasting dark t-shirt, and Docs is going to make me look like a weirdo. I don’t do music crowds much because when I was younger I always felt like the cool kids were sneering at me.
Not sure if my good old black jeans, contrasting dark t-shirt, and Docs is going to make me look like a weirdo. I don’t do music crowds much because when I was younger I always felt like the cool kids were sneering at me.
I feel like the same problem from when you were younger, is robbing your joy now that you are older. I'm 51 and go to all kinds of shows. It takes quite a bit of outfit effort to get anyone to look at you at all at most concerts. You're fine.
posted by shadygrove at 2:06 PM on September 1 [17 favorites]
posted by shadygrove at 2:06 PM on September 1 [17 favorites]
Comfortable shoes.
posted by kickingtheground at 2:09 PM on September 1 [23 favorites]
posted by kickingtheground at 2:09 PM on September 1 [23 favorites]
I personally think that "black jeans with tshirt and Docs or converse" is exactly, precisely what people of our generation wear to shows now that we are old, and will be absolutely normal and appropriate. Maybe cuff the jeans for a retro vibe, depending on the jeans?
As an Old, I aim for sort of a Steve Albini vibe - like, reliable and classic in a subcultural way. You don't want to look like you've gotten to fifty and are still chasing the trends but you don't want to look dowdy, so a sort of workwear/punk/skate look is a default, especially since that's kind to those of us who are not perhaps so trim or flexible as we were twenty-five years ago.
Some people, of course, really like fashion or are deeply into vintage styles, etc, but we're not talking about them here.
posted by Frowner at 2:12 PM on September 1 [9 favorites]
As an Old, I aim for sort of a Steve Albini vibe - like, reliable and classic in a subcultural way. You don't want to look like you've gotten to fifty and are still chasing the trends but you don't want to look dowdy, so a sort of workwear/punk/skate look is a default, especially since that's kind to those of us who are not perhaps so trim or flexible as we were twenty-five years ago.
Some people, of course, really like fashion or are deeply into vintage styles, etc, but we're not talking about them here.
posted by Frowner at 2:12 PM on September 1 [9 favorites]
I'm only slightly more junior, but I still go to a variety of live music shows with younger audiences, audiences around my age, and mixed (with very few exceptions, most audiences are more mixed in age than you might expect). I can assure you that black jeans, dark t-shirt, and boots is still a pretty standard rock concert outfit for all ages.
It may be helpful to know that a) you will not be the only 50-year-old person there so you won't stick out as much as you're worrying you might, and b) the vast majority of people will not be paying attention to you or care what you look like. In fact, if you wear something outside of your normal comfort zone to try to look cooler, you're more likely to feel awkward and therefore look awkward, and that is what might actually risk drawing attention to you -- but even then, most people just won't care.
Basically as long as you're not, like, dressing paramilitary or wearing a stuffy business suit, or obviously carrying tactical equipment, no one's going to think you're a narc. Smelling like a dispensary will probably work in your favor here, too.
(Also, while I'd rather my concert neighbors did not partake of smelly substances while we're crowded together at a show, even an outdoor one and even though I wear face masks to shows, I have accepted it as a risk of the concert-going experience, especially here in the Bay Area. If you plan to partake during the show, first observe what others are doing to gauge the general risk level, and be both discreet and respectful of your neighbors.)
posted by rhiannonstone at 3:45 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
It may be helpful to know that a) you will not be the only 50-year-old person there so you won't stick out as much as you're worrying you might, and b) the vast majority of people will not be paying attention to you or care what you look like. In fact, if you wear something outside of your normal comfort zone to try to look cooler, you're more likely to feel awkward and therefore look awkward, and that is what might actually risk drawing attention to you -- but even then, most people just won't care.
Basically as long as you're not, like, dressing paramilitary or wearing a stuffy business suit, or obviously carrying tactical equipment, no one's going to think you're a narc. Smelling like a dispensary will probably work in your favor here, too.
(Also, while I'd rather my concert neighbors did not partake of smelly substances while we're crowded together at a show, even an outdoor one and even though I wear face masks to shows, I have accepted it as a risk of the concert-going experience, especially here in the Bay Area. If you plan to partake during the show, first observe what others are doing to gauge the general risk level, and be both discreet and respectful of your neighbors.)
posted by rhiannonstone at 3:45 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
I live quite close to a large outdoor venue in my city. That allows me to observe the concert going public walking to the stadium a few times each summer while I am stuck in traffic trying to get home. Said concert going public is surprisingly diverse in age, less so in terms of clothes. But you would not stick out as old or wearing black jeans, dark t-shirt and boots.
posted by koahiatamadl at 4:53 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
posted by koahiatamadl at 4:53 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
In my 30s, regular concertgoer in the Bay. What you are describing is still the standard uniform for people everywhere. You’re good, just dress how you want to dress. PS every time I see someone in Docs I seethe in envy, they’re so well made!!
posted by peppercorn at 6:22 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
posted by peppercorn at 6:22 PM on September 1 [1 favorite]
Glass Beams? There are gonna be a hundred other 50 year old white guys at a Glass Beams show. You're good. (I like Glass Beams)
posted by capricorn at 7:19 PM on September 1 [5 favorites]
posted by capricorn at 7:19 PM on September 1 [5 favorites]
Worst comes to worst, some 22 year old snickers at their friend about the old guy at the show. You'll never hear it. Who cares? Enjoy the show. Also, the outfit you're describing is pretty standard concert wear - I'm 55 years old and have been wearing that to basically every show since I was that snickering 22 year old. Except now I wear super comfortable shoes because Docs hurt my feet.
posted by pdb at 8:00 PM on September 1
posted by pdb at 8:00 PM on September 1
FYI apparently the young people like to wear the band shirt to the show. They’re maniacs! It’s as though they want people to know they like the band they paid to see, not just rep some more obscure band! Honestly, the YOUTH.
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:33 PM on September 1 [8 favorites]
posted by chesty_a_arthur at 8:33 PM on September 1 [8 favorites]
I am in my 60s (low 60s) and go to about 30 shows a year. Some are for older bands (The Dead, Neil Young, etc)and some for younger jam bands like Goose. Because of a prior commitment, I wore a suit and tie (loosened at the show) to a JRAD show. Dude bought me a beer because he said I looked like I needed to loosen up. Have worn khakis and a button down shirt to countless shows, but at a Drive By Truckers show, a young pretty woman starts standing next to me when there was a decent amount of room on the floor. She finally looked up at me and asked me how long I had been standing there. Since I got here? She then told me that the way she was going to meet her friends was she told them to meet her at the guy with the blue button down and khakis on and a short haircut since I stood out amongst the long haired southern boys. She also bought me a beer when her friends arrived.
Wear whatever you want. No one cares. What you have picked out, sounds like you will blend in nicely. The only rule I have is one from many years ago attending Grateful Dead shows in the 70s and 80s. Only bring in what you are willing to lose. Back then, driver's license and a $20 bill. Now, phone and credit card.
As for looking like a narc, that can be beneficial. In 1982 I went to a Grateful Dead show, general admission at the Nassau Coliseum with a friend who had a weekend pass from the Marines. He was built like a Marine and had the high and tight haircut. I had short hair too then, but was not built in any way that would make people think I was a Marine. Anyway, we were both wearing plain white t-shirts and dungarees (blue jeans for you youngsters). We started at the back of the floor and within about 20 minutes had made our way to about 10 people back without once moving around people. They would look back, see us, and part ways thinking we were narcs. We would take a few steps forward and fill the void. We could hear people pointing out the "narcs". My friend was stone cold sober (had to pee in a bottle every week), but I was high as a kite. I even considered cutting my hair and doing it again at another show.
Again, wear whatever. No one cares. Really.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:46 PM on September 1 [7 favorites]
Wear whatever you want. No one cares. What you have picked out, sounds like you will blend in nicely. The only rule I have is one from many years ago attending Grateful Dead shows in the 70s and 80s. Only bring in what you are willing to lose. Back then, driver's license and a $20 bill. Now, phone and credit card.
As for looking like a narc, that can be beneficial. In 1982 I went to a Grateful Dead show, general admission at the Nassau Coliseum with a friend who had a weekend pass from the Marines. He was built like a Marine and had the high and tight haircut. I had short hair too then, but was not built in any way that would make people think I was a Marine. Anyway, we were both wearing plain white t-shirts and dungarees (blue jeans for you youngsters). We started at the back of the floor and within about 20 minutes had made our way to about 10 people back without once moving around people. They would look back, see us, and part ways thinking we were narcs. We would take a few steps forward and fill the void. We could hear people pointing out the "narcs". My friend was stone cold sober (had to pee in a bottle every week), but I was high as a kite. I even considered cutting my hair and doing it again at another show.
Again, wear whatever. No one cares. Really.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 9:46 PM on September 1 [7 favorites]
I'm a fat middle-aged woman who usually dresses for comfort and went to concerts that way in the before times
posted by brujita at 12:25 AM on September 2 [2 favorites]
posted by brujita at 12:25 AM on September 2 [2 favorites]
I'm 52 and last Friday accompanied my teenage daughter to a packed Thxsomch concert, where the average age was probably under 20. She wanted me to wear eyeliner and black nail varnish but in my opinion that would've been inappropriate at my age. Wore dark jeans and a t-shirt and jumped up and down with everyone else, wasn't aware of any second glances, nor did I care.
(It was nice being at a gig where the band doesn't even have an album yet - there's a different level of enthusiasm than the ones I usually go to, acts who've been around for decades.)
posted by snarfois at 2:08 AM on September 2 [2 favorites]
(It was nice being at a gig where the band doesn't even have an album yet - there's a different level of enthusiasm than the ones I usually go to, acts who've been around for decades.)
posted by snarfois at 2:08 AM on September 2 [2 favorites]
My partner and I are late 40s and go to concerts where there are lots of youngs (depending on the act). Jeans, T-shirt, and boots/sneakers are standard attire and you'll fit right in. Have fun!
posted by emd3737 at 4:38 AM on September 2
posted by emd3737 at 4:38 AM on September 2
64, F, I have a great ticket for David Gilmour at MSG in November. I plan to wear jeans and a 40 year old DSOTM t shirt which is barely holding together! Comfort and vintage style!
posted by antiquated at 8:10 AM on September 2 [1 favorite]
posted by antiquated at 8:10 AM on September 2 [1 favorite]
Response by poster: Thanks, everybody!
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 3:03 PM on September 2 [1 favorite]
posted by Abehammerb Lincoln at 3:03 PM on September 2 [1 favorite]
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