Sober people who don’t drink caffeine or smoke cigarettes…
July 17, 2024 12:29 PM Subscribe
… what’s your thing? You know exactly what I mean. What do you occupy your hands and mouth with, what do you enjoy outside on a nice day? I’d prefer to avoid too much sugar.
I have probably six caffeinated drinks a year and I never took up smoking so I feel mostly qualified to answer this question.
My phone was stolen a couple days ago and I haven't replaced it yet and it has made me uncomfortably aware of how often my hands and attention are occupied by an Apple product.
One of my friends has pointed out that I drink water like I'm angry at it. I'm basically always drinking water.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 12:44 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
My phone was stolen a couple days ago and I haven't replaced it yet and it has made me uncomfortably aware of how often my hands and attention are occupied by an Apple product.
One of my friends has pointed out that I drink water like I'm angry at it. I'm basically always drinking water.
posted by Parasite Unseen at 12:44 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
Kombucha
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:45 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
posted by St. Peepsburg at 12:45 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
You know exactly what I mean
Not sure I do, actually
what do you enjoy outside on a nice day
Do you mean what's something that lets me stand or sit idle outside without either facing the reality of my own thoughts 100% full-on, or diving fully into ego-less meditation on the reality of the natural world? Or an excuse to be outside without looking like a weirdo? Then music, if I'm alone. Maybe conversation if I'm not. A phone or book or notebook or daydreams if I want to focus away from reality.
If we're talking about more active ways to spend time outdoors, then exploring, photographing, etc.
If I feel a need to fidget I'll fidget with whatever's on hand. Usually it's enough to have pockets to put my hands in. If I'm bored and there's a glass or bottle of something I drink, I'll drink it even if I'm not thirsty, and if there's food I might eat it even if I'm not hungry. If there isn't and I still feel the need to chew something, there's gum.
But often, I don't feel those needs. And if I go a while without external distractions, I start needing them less too. Then again, as a kid before I had phones and music players, daydreaming and staring at things were always huge.
posted by trig at 12:51 PM on July 17 [7 favorites]
Not sure I do, actually
what do you enjoy outside on a nice day
Do you mean what's something that lets me stand or sit idle outside without either facing the reality of my own thoughts 100% full-on, or diving fully into ego-less meditation on the reality of the natural world? Or an excuse to be outside without looking like a weirdo? Then music, if I'm alone. Maybe conversation if I'm not. A phone or book or notebook or daydreams if I want to focus away from reality.
If we're talking about more active ways to spend time outdoors, then exploring, photographing, etc.
If I feel a need to fidget I'll fidget with whatever's on hand. Usually it's enough to have pockets to put my hands in. If I'm bored and there's a glass or bottle of something I drink, I'll drink it even if I'm not thirsty, and if there's food I might eat it even if I'm not hungry. If there isn't and I still feel the need to chew something, there's gum.
But often, I don't feel those needs. And if I go a while without external distractions, I start needing them less too. Then again, as a kid before I had phones and music players, daydreaming and staring at things were always huge.
posted by trig at 12:51 PM on July 17 [7 favorites]
Water with lemon, if you mean what do I drink. Used to also love a Clearly Canadian sparkling water, but my store stopped carrying them, and LaCroix isn’t the same for me.
posted by moosetracks at 12:53 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
posted by moosetracks at 12:53 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
Former smoker here. I still fuck with caffeine, but only first thing in the morning. For the other sober thing to keep my hands and mouth occupied, I like La Croix or similar fizzy zero-calorie waters. I also enjoy experimenting with different cold brew teas (green, mint, those Celestial Seasoning fruit "zinger" flavors, singly or in combination).
posted by little mouth at 1:07 PM on July 17
posted by little mouth at 1:07 PM on July 17
Take up a musical instrument.
posted by SaltySalticid at 1:18 PM on July 17
posted by SaltySalticid at 1:18 PM on July 17
For me it's definitely Perrier. It is so wonderfully fizzy.
posted by urbanlenny at 1:35 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
posted by urbanlenny at 1:35 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
Not sober, just drinking a lot less on purpose, but flavored cold brew coffees. Currently sipping on a hazelnut-flavored brew over ice, in a shaker pint glass.
Decaf is an option, although that's not my thing.
posted by emelenjr at 1:48 PM on July 17
Decaf is an option, although that's not my thing.
posted by emelenjr at 1:48 PM on July 17
Back when I did not drink alcohol, if I wanted to sit outside with a drink on a sunny day, it was a fizzy drink - Coke at a pub, sparkling elderflower pressé or similar at home.
However, there's a limit to how many fizzy drinks anyone wants to drink of an evening, so it was not exactly unknown for me to sit in a pub folding a succession of little origami models to keep my hands busy while everyone else drank beer.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 1:49 PM on July 17
However, there's a limit to how many fizzy drinks anyone wants to drink of an evening, so it was not exactly unknown for me to sit in a pub folding a succession of little origami models to keep my hands busy while everyone else drank beer.
posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 1:49 PM on July 17
Not sure what you’re asking - can you follow up with a moderator to make that clear?
posted by punchtothehead at 1:49 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
posted by punchtothehead at 1:49 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
I'm interpreting your question as "what do you do to satisfy the urge to consume something, either in order to have a small break or to have something to do while you're doing something else, but without drinking alcohol or caffeine or smoking a cigarette?".
I do consume caffeine (mostly green tea), but if I have caffeinated tea later than around 17h00, I'm going to regret it deeply at 01h00, so around that time I switch to an uncaffeinated substitute (rooibos, because I live in South Africa and that's a popular option here). It's nutritionally about the same as the green tea -- I drink all my hot teas with no sugar or milk. So it just provides the pleasant experience of drinking something warm.
A lot of my favourite cold drinks are tea-based, but I can get various kinds of uncaffeinated iced teas or kombuchas here as well. I seldom order anything other than plain water (still or sparkling) in restaurants, because I find most commercial cold drinks to be disgustingly sweet. I very occasionally drink beer, and have recently discovered that my favourite craft brewery makes a very good zero-alcohol beer (even though I drink alcohol, it's nice enough that I have picked it over alcoholic beers in a style I like less).
posted by confluency at 2:18 PM on July 17
I do consume caffeine (mostly green tea), but if I have caffeinated tea later than around 17h00, I'm going to regret it deeply at 01h00, so around that time I switch to an uncaffeinated substitute (rooibos, because I live in South Africa and that's a popular option here). It's nutritionally about the same as the green tea -- I drink all my hot teas with no sugar or milk. So it just provides the pleasant experience of drinking something warm.
A lot of my favourite cold drinks are tea-based, but I can get various kinds of uncaffeinated iced teas or kombuchas here as well. I seldom order anything other than plain water (still or sparkling) in restaurants, because I find most commercial cold drinks to be disgustingly sweet. I very occasionally drink beer, and have recently discovered that my favourite craft brewery makes a very good zero-alcohol beer (even though I drink alcohol, it's nice enough that I have picked it over alcoholic beers in a style I like less).
posted by confluency at 2:18 PM on July 17
Hot mint tea in cold weather, iced hibiscus tea in the summer. Fizzy water year round, with lime if I have some. Also a huge fan of the pellegrino limonata cans.
The glass or cup you choose makes a big difference in the overall experience, btw.
posted by mochapickle at 2:23 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]
The glass or cup you choose makes a big difference in the overall experience, btw.
posted by mochapickle at 2:23 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]
When I was newly sober, I drank a lot of coffee and smoked cigars. I also ate candy whenever I was having the urge to self-soothe. Now I just am constantly busy with things. Perhaps I am addicted to lists of things to do. Whenever I'm at a loss, I sit down and either add to my list of things to do, do something on my list, or write in my journal about how I'm feeling.
Doodling is my refuge of choice, though. If I'm in a situation where I can't get out, I pull out a tiny journal or a piece of paper and draw elaborate doodles.
posted by Peach at 2:24 PM on July 17
Doodling is my refuge of choice, though. If I'm in a situation where I can't get out, I pull out a tiny journal or a piece of paper and draw elaborate doodles.
posted by Peach at 2:24 PM on July 17
I assume this is what Liquid Death was made for. Looks and feels beer-ish, is fizzy water.
posted by daikaisho at 2:35 PM on July 17 [5 favorites]
posted by daikaisho at 2:35 PM on July 17 [5 favorites]
Diet Coke! And caffeine free after 4pm.
posted by ellieBOA at 2:39 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
posted by ellieBOA at 2:39 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
Crochet for the hands, Assorted Beverages for the mouth. I have a slightly jaw-dropping library of herbal teas and also drink water almost compulsively. Honestly I also do a lot of stuff that fits in the broad category of “stimming” — usually stuff that reads more restless than neurodivergent — so on the one hand I guess I don’t feel occupied enough and on the other hand I do always find *something* to do with my hands even if it’s not always seen as polite.
Really it’s crochet though, at the end of the day.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 3:08 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]
Really it’s crochet though, at the end of the day.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 3:08 PM on July 17 [3 favorites]
If you're asking about what do I consume instead of caffeine or cigarettes, it is sugar, sorry, usually in the form of chocolate.
If you're asking about what do I do to occupy my hands outside like while I'm waiting for the train, it's usually scrolling social media. Or reading a physical book.
If you're asking about what gets me outside on a nice day, it's going for a bike ride, whether around the neighborhood or down to the beach.
posted by Pandora Kouti at 3:20 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
If you're asking about what do I do to occupy my hands outside like while I'm waiting for the train, it's usually scrolling social media. Or reading a physical book.
If you're asking about what gets me outside on a nice day, it's going for a bike ride, whether around the neighborhood or down to the beach.
posted by Pandora Kouti at 3:20 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
Good decaf coffee* black in the mornings. And if you've got that decaf; a splash of cold brew concentrate, over ice and tonic....uh, I'm not sober but that's one of my go-to's on a summer evening. It doesn't sound like it should work, but it is phenomenal. Goddamn goddamn; better than most cocktails.
I keep a polished cabochon of common opal in my pocket. Some folks call it a worry stone. It is larger than a quarter, oval, and beveled on one side. It's smooth, pretty, and part of it catches light nicely. It's just a fidget. Better than a phone.
*Ethyl Acetate process, or using the market term 'sugar cane' process decaf; best there is.
posted by furnace.heart at 3:30 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
I keep a polished cabochon of common opal in my pocket. Some folks call it a worry stone. It is larger than a quarter, oval, and beveled on one side. It's smooth, pretty, and part of it catches light nicely. It's just a fidget. Better than a phone.
*Ethyl Acetate process, or using the market term 'sugar cane' process decaf; best there is.
posted by furnace.heart at 3:30 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
In the morning, coffee. In the evening in the summer I've been drinking a lot of trendy "adaptogen mocktails" like DeSoi and Recess Mood. On winter evenings, herbal tea.
posted by potrzebie at 3:32 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
posted by potrzebie at 3:32 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
Mod note: From the OP:
By "thing", I mean... what do you use to motivate yourself to get through a difficult day, like "Once this is over I can go home and [thing]!" or look forward to on a pleasant day "I'm going to have some friends over and sit outside and talk and [thing]!"posted by travelingthyme (staff) at 3:51 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
Right now, for me, that's some sort of substance, and I'm wondering if it's possible to find an equally compelling replacement - like, "Everything went wrong and was absolute shit today but at least I can [thing] later tonight, so the day isn't totally ruined." Your default thing that you know will always make you feel better.
I'd recommend a fancy drink (alcoholic or not) if you want a reward treat-y thing. I seriously just lounge outside with yarn and a drink if I have nothing to do after work.
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:54 PM on July 17
posted by jenfullmoon at 3:54 PM on July 17
Hot tub! I got myself a hot tub last fall almost exactly for this reason. Now that it's too hot outside for a good soak I'm really feeling it, but until summer really hit I looked forward to quitting work, hopping in the tub with a good book and relaxing through the sunset. Every day.
posted by Illusory contour at 3:57 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
posted by Illusory contour at 3:57 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
If it's a totally awful day, ice cream. Super fancy ice cream if I can justify the expenditure. Shaved ice if you have a shaved ice place local.
If I want a cold drink, a Shirley Temple. Or the grenadine or lime syrup with caffeine free Diet Coke over a lot of ice. OJ and Fresca. La Croix or other fizzy water; I told myself when I sobered up (6 years this past April!) that I could drink all the fizzy water I wanted, it's still cheaper than drinking. I don't kombucha, even 2% is WAY too boozy for me. Same with NA wine; I had some at a party one night (because a loving friend wanted me to have the sangria too) and even at less than 2% in theory, I about choked on it and said "are we SURE this isn't the real thing?"
If I want a hot beverage, decaf coffee or herbal tea or hot chocolate (negligible caffeine, but up to you).
But I agree with a lot of other commenters that when you sober up, it becomes a lot less about the end of the day beverage and a lot more about the World, or the knitting, or the bird watching, or whatever. And the ice cream. :)
posted by joycehealy at 3:58 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
If I want a cold drink, a Shirley Temple. Or the grenadine or lime syrup with caffeine free Diet Coke over a lot of ice. OJ and Fresca. La Croix or other fizzy water; I told myself when I sobered up (6 years this past April!) that I could drink all the fizzy water I wanted, it's still cheaper than drinking. I don't kombucha, even 2% is WAY too boozy for me. Same with NA wine; I had some at a party one night (because a loving friend wanted me to have the sangria too) and even at less than 2% in theory, I about choked on it and said "are we SURE this isn't the real thing?"
If I want a hot beverage, decaf coffee or herbal tea or hot chocolate (negligible caffeine, but up to you).
But I agree with a lot of other commenters that when you sober up, it becomes a lot less about the end of the day beverage and a lot more about the World, or the knitting, or the bird watching, or whatever. And the ice cream. :)
posted by joycehealy at 3:58 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
Coffeeeeeee! La Croix. And freakin' snacks.
posted by pazazygeek at 4:17 PM on July 17
posted by pazazygeek at 4:17 PM on July 17
Walks with the dog, hot tea, bubbly water, escapist novels, hot baths, food.. But none of these are the same as intoxication. I think if you want to reduce or remove substance use and smoking from your life, it will involve re-orienting yourself away from that idea of "when I get home I'll finally get to check out and dissociate!" and move toward "I am gaining a feeling of freedom, lightness, engagement with the world, etc by being more embodied and open". Practices that help with this reframe are yoga, meditation, aerobic exercise, singing or dancing with others, art-making, walking in nature.
Good on you for figuring out how to make some big changes!
posted by latkes at 4:25 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
Good on you for figuring out how to make some big changes!
posted by latkes at 4:25 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
"By "thing", I mean... what do you use to motivate yourself to get through a difficult day, like "Once this is over I can go home and [thing]!"
That's hobbies. So for me its reading, games or whatever craft I've picked up. Sometimes its a nap or a hot shower (or a cold one in summer!) or any other number of little pleasures. One trick taking the time to look for the small pleasures as you go, too, through the day. I don't drive so there's a lot of joy for me in walking past other people's gardens, spotting interesting birds and just connecting with my neighbourhood.
"or look forward to on a pleasant day "I'm going to have some friends over and sit outside and talk and [thing]!""
I just do the sit outside and talk part. You don't need to have the thing. You can just have mates round for a chill.
posted by Jilder at 6:08 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
That's hobbies. So for me its reading, games or whatever craft I've picked up. Sometimes its a nap or a hot shower (or a cold one in summer!) or any other number of little pleasures. One trick taking the time to look for the small pleasures as you go, too, through the day. I don't drive so there's a lot of joy for me in walking past other people's gardens, spotting interesting birds and just connecting with my neighbourhood.
"or look forward to on a pleasant day "I'm going to have some friends over and sit outside and talk and [thing]!""
I just do the sit outside and talk part. You don't need to have the thing. You can just have mates round for a chill.
posted by Jilder at 6:08 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
I am currently on a restricted diet so I no longer motivate myself with these things, but I didn't drink alcohol or coffee prior to my elimination diet and I used to treat myself with hot or iced tea, soda, candy, and chocolate. I would finish a rough meeting and then make myself a cup of my favorite loose leaf tea. Now, similar to some people above, I just drink a ton of water.
Gum and lollipops are good for oral needs. I also like just regular rings/jewelry for fidgeting in public spaces.
At the end of the day, I look forward to going on a walk, playing video games, watching something I've been looking forward to, reading, or working on one of my projects (e.g., writing or crochet).
posted by dearadeline at 7:23 PM on July 17
Gum and lollipops are good for oral needs. I also like just regular rings/jewelry for fidgeting in public spaces.
At the end of the day, I look forward to going on a walk, playing video games, watching something I've been looking forward to, reading, or working on one of my projects (e.g., writing or crochet).
posted by dearadeline at 7:23 PM on July 17
Seconding dog walking! It gets me out of the house every day. I LOVE walking my pup while listening to my favorite music or podcasts. Ok also somewhat random but I subscribe to The Week magazine and I LIVE for their crossword puzzles! So I look forward to them. Also tbh every day I look forward to laying in bed and reading before I fall asleep. I'm an avid library user; I do not mean any disrespect whatsoever to people who have more common issues like substance use or hoarding etc but sometimes I truly think I'm addicted to books/reading. Like I can have SO MANY on my kindle and it's just never enough.
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:06 PM on July 17
posted by bookworm4125 at 10:06 PM on July 17
Everything Jilder said. But also...
I think if you want to reduce or remove substance use and smoking from your life, it will involve re-orienting yourself away from that idea of "when I get home I'll finally get to check out and dissociate!"
I dunno, if checking out is the goal then TV, books, movies, and music work pretty well for me.
Sometimes I go through periods where I eat a lot of cheese, and the cheese kind of becomes the taste and texture that I focus on when eating. So when I think of some dish it's the cheese that I'm imagining, and when I cook it it's a given that I'll add cheese to it, and the thought of eating it without cheese seems more than boring - something important would be missing. But then there'll be long stretches where I don't eat any cheese at all, and (after a transition period) I don't actually miss it and the thought of adding it to the same dishes seems weird, like why would I need this, it would just bury the flavors and textures that I love. I came to cheese relatively late in life so it's very easy for me to revert to (and seriously enjoy and savor the flavors of) cheeseless living - like a large part of the planet! - but I think it's hard to imagine for people who've just always relied on it. This is all literally true and not a metaphor, but it kind of works as one.
posted by trig at 10:58 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
I think if you want to reduce or remove substance use and smoking from your life, it will involve re-orienting yourself away from that idea of "when I get home I'll finally get to check out and dissociate!"
I dunno, if checking out is the goal then TV, books, movies, and music work pretty well for me.
Sometimes I go through periods where I eat a lot of cheese, and the cheese kind of becomes the taste and texture that I focus on when eating. So when I think of some dish it's the cheese that I'm imagining, and when I cook it it's a given that I'll add cheese to it, and the thought of eating it without cheese seems more than boring - something important would be missing. But then there'll be long stretches where I don't eat any cheese at all, and (after a transition period) I don't actually miss it and the thought of adding it to the same dishes seems weird, like why would I need this, it would just bury the flavors and textures that I love. I came to cheese relatively late in life so it's very easy for me to revert to (and seriously enjoy and savor the flavors of) cheeseless living - like a large part of the planet! - but I think it's hard to imagine for people who've just always relied on it. This is all literally true and not a metaphor, but it kind of works as one.
posted by trig at 10:58 PM on July 17 [2 favorites]
Sorry to repeat post but in light of OP’s clarification:
Seriously, crafts hit that button for me. At least once I found the right one for me (crochet). If I’m having a shit day, I absolutely turn to crochet + podcasts/audiobook to soothe myself/check out/get some time in flow state. “When this is over I’m gonna go home and crochet” is the new “when this is over I’m gonna go home and smoke a bowl or three”. Of course I still (nearly 7 years later) get urges and cravings and days where I’m just like FUCK I miss the entire process and experience of getting high. But I have cultivated a sufficient behavioural addiction to crochet that it really, really works for me, plus I get beautiful objects at the end.
The other thing, sometimes, is a long bath with an Assorted Beverage and something fun and indulgent on Kindle.
But that’s not nearly as reliable as crochet. For me it’s all about accessing The Zone. For you The Zone might be making art or music, or some form of physical exercise, or gardening, or or or. Whatever gets you into a place where you’re in your rhythm, and focused on the task at hand, and not paying attention to the passage of time.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 10:58 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
Seriously, crafts hit that button for me. At least once I found the right one for me (crochet). If I’m having a shit day, I absolutely turn to crochet + podcasts/audiobook to soothe myself/check out/get some time in flow state. “When this is over I’m gonna go home and crochet” is the new “when this is over I’m gonna go home and smoke a bowl or three”. Of course I still (nearly 7 years later) get urges and cravings and days where I’m just like FUCK I miss the entire process and experience of getting high. But I have cultivated a sufficient behavioural addiction to crochet that it really, really works for me, plus I get beautiful objects at the end.
The other thing, sometimes, is a long bath with an Assorted Beverage and something fun and indulgent on Kindle.
But that’s not nearly as reliable as crochet. For me it’s all about accessing The Zone. For you The Zone might be making art or music, or some form of physical exercise, or gardening, or or or. Whatever gets you into a place where you’re in your rhythm, and focused on the task at hand, and not paying attention to the passage of time.
posted by cabbage raccoon at 10:58 PM on July 17 [1 favorite]
(and a sufficiently portable craft also works for something nice to do with your body while socializing, existing quietly outdoors etc)
posted by cabbage raccoon at 11:04 PM on July 17
posted by cabbage raccoon at 11:04 PM on July 17
That explanation helped a lot! NA beers do scratch that itch for me. Really hard workouts, too, but those aren't always possible. Puzzles and embroidery for "I want to enter a mindless state for a while" because they demand enough of my attention to be absorbing and it gives my hands something to do.
Ice creaaaaaaaam for the "I deserve a treat, goddammit" days. I went through about 2 cartons of ice cream a week when I was newly sober, and that was fine. My motto was what baby wants, baby gets (except for alcohol.)
But when I need to bring out the big guns, it's a massage, acupuncture, or a foot rub. Or sex.
posted by punchtothehead at 6:15 AM on July 18
Ice creaaaaaaaam for the "I deserve a treat, goddammit" days. I went through about 2 cartons of ice cream a week when I was newly sober, and that was fine. My motto was what baby wants, baby gets (except for alcohol.)
But when I need to bring out the big guns, it's a massage, acupuncture, or a foot rub. Or sex.
posted by punchtothehead at 6:15 AM on July 18
travelingthyme: what do you use to motivate yourself to get through a difficult day, like "Once this is over I can go home and [thing]!" or look forward to on a pleasant day "I'm going to have some friends over and sit outside and talk and [thing]!"
I do drink alcohol, but only on weekends, and coffee, but only one cup a day, so neither of those really plays this role in my life. The things I use to motivate myself to get through a difficult day are more like, once this is over I can go home and watch travel videos on YouTube. I can cook a new recipe, and maybe I'll go to the ~fancy~ hipster grocery store (it's called "Odd Provisions" and I can feel myself being successfully marketed to) for ingredients this time. I'll sit on my balcony and read a book, and if there's a drink in my hand it's going to be a sparkling water or, because it's currently in stock, Trader Joe's jalapeño limeade. I can walk or take the bus down to the waterfront and watch people feed the hilariously aggressive ducks. I can take a nap! I can go to the pool and have a lazy swim. I can scroll through real estate listings and daydream about what house I would buy if I had $1.5M to spend.
posted by capricorn at 6:16 AM on July 18
I do drink alcohol, but only on weekends, and coffee, but only one cup a day, so neither of those really plays this role in my life. The things I use to motivate myself to get through a difficult day are more like, once this is over I can go home and watch travel videos on YouTube. I can cook a new recipe, and maybe I'll go to the ~fancy~ hipster grocery store (it's called "Odd Provisions" and I can feel myself being successfully marketed to) for ingredients this time. I'll sit on my balcony and read a book, and if there's a drink in my hand it's going to be a sparkling water or, because it's currently in stock, Trader Joe's jalapeño limeade. I can walk or take the bus down to the waterfront and watch people feed the hilariously aggressive ducks. I can take a nap! I can go to the pool and have a lazy swim. I can scroll through real estate listings and daydream about what house I would buy if I had $1.5M to spend.
posted by capricorn at 6:16 AM on July 18
Crafts, playing board games, seeing friends, exercise, going for a walk and nature- or people-watching, video games, taking a nap, enjoying my pet, baking (and eating), TikTok scrolling (I’ve curated a pretty positive playlist), reading enjoyable books, dancing, going to the movies, a concert, a game, or a play, laying in my hammock. It may be that you associate some of those things with drinking or smoking, but as someone who actively avoided those things due to family history, I promise they are all fun on their own, and way cheaper too.
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:40 AM on July 18
posted by tchemgrrl at 6:40 AM on July 18
In the Eugene O’Neill ‘everybody’s gotta be drunk on something’ way, for me it’s transcribing, arranging and playing guitar tunes. For hours. No other thoughts can get in.
Oh and LaCroix or topo chico.
posted by umbú at 7:08 AM on July 18
Oh and LaCroix or topo chico.
posted by umbú at 7:08 AM on July 18
I stood in the break room yesterday drinking a bottle of chilled water while chatting to people. I adore the mouthfeel of still, very chilled water. Not sure that would do much for most people but it made me very happy.
So I'd focus on figuring out what I enjoyed about my old 'pick me ups'. If you can identify that you can focus on replicating that effect.
For example, intoxication is only one effect of alcohol. But there are plenty of alcoholic beverages that people enjoy for a range of reasons other than intoxication. So if I wanted to emulate a specific alcoholic beverage, I'd hunt around for an alcohol free/virgin version I enjoyed. It may take trial and error and time to perfect the recipe. That'd allow me to control sugar for example as well.
If I wanted to eliminate caffeine, I'd find a nice decaff version of the drink in question. I only drink caffeinated fizzy drinks when I have not reached my baseline level of caffeine and there is no other option. But I do enjoy coffee a lot and I am not very sensitive to caffeine. I had to conclude that in many ways it is not the caffeine but the hot, smooth drink aspect I enjoy. I will also happily drink black tea with milk. If it is very hot, I will drink my coffees iced or cold brew but I always add a splash of milk or cream. It's a mouthfeel thing. I do use sweetener in my coffees but the only sweetener I enjoy in hot beverages is erythritol and that took some trial and error to identify...
If I wanted to find something to do with my hands, I'd find an unobtrusive craft like knitting I could do while sitting somewhere chatting.
posted by koahiatamadl at 7:30 AM on July 18
So I'd focus on figuring out what I enjoyed about my old 'pick me ups'. If you can identify that you can focus on replicating that effect.
For example, intoxication is only one effect of alcohol. But there are plenty of alcoholic beverages that people enjoy for a range of reasons other than intoxication. So if I wanted to emulate a specific alcoholic beverage, I'd hunt around for an alcohol free/virgin version I enjoyed. It may take trial and error and time to perfect the recipe. That'd allow me to control sugar for example as well.
If I wanted to eliminate caffeine, I'd find a nice decaff version of the drink in question. I only drink caffeinated fizzy drinks when I have not reached my baseline level of caffeine and there is no other option. But I do enjoy coffee a lot and I am not very sensitive to caffeine. I had to conclude that in many ways it is not the caffeine but the hot, smooth drink aspect I enjoy. I will also happily drink black tea with milk. If it is very hot, I will drink my coffees iced or cold brew but I always add a splash of milk or cream. It's a mouthfeel thing. I do use sweetener in my coffees but the only sweetener I enjoy in hot beverages is erythritol and that took some trial and error to identify...
If I wanted to find something to do with my hands, I'd find an unobtrusive craft like knitting I could do while sitting somewhere chatting.
posted by koahiatamadl at 7:30 AM on July 18
Martial arts classes are mine. Or chips or popcorn. But hitting things is the best.
posted by warriorqueen at 7:46 AM on July 18 [1 favorite]
posted by warriorqueen at 7:46 AM on July 18 [1 favorite]
Your default thing that you know will always make you feel better.
Ah! In that case, that's the hammock in the back yard. Iced tea, mystery novel, foot dangling with my toes buried in the soft fur of my dog. Eventually the stars come out and it gets chilly enough for a light blanket. Heaven.
posted by mochapickle at 8:11 AM on July 18 [1 favorite]
Ah! In that case, that's the hammock in the back yard. Iced tea, mystery novel, foot dangling with my toes buried in the soft fur of my dog. Eventually the stars come out and it gets chilly enough for a light blanket. Heaven.
posted by mochapickle at 8:11 AM on July 18 [1 favorite]
pokemon go! It's always there when you need it and sometimes demands that you step outside or take a little walk, just like a smoke break. It even has the standing-around-in-a-cluster-with-like-minded-outcasts thing that smoking has.
posted by eraserbones at 9:39 AM on July 18
posted by eraserbones at 9:39 AM on July 18
Sleeeeeep.
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:19 AM on July 18
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:19 AM on July 18
I don't smoke or drink anymore. Instead I walk in the forest, or nap on a mossy hill, or dip myself into a creek. I collect stones from the lakeshore or bones from the meadow. If I'm having a bad day, I go home and sit in my lovely little house in my favorite chair and read a book that makes me feel cozy. Or I make some fun snacks to share with my friends, or maybe I make some art or plan a party.
posted by ananci at 9:07 PM on July 18
posted by ananci at 9:07 PM on July 18
Tea is magic. Just having the option to enjoy varied and delicious flavors and temperatures throughout the day is so lovely.
I make tea when I wake up, of course. Often gyokuro -- a really delicious, shade-grown, high-caffeine green tea brewed at 140 F that doesn't make me feel jittery or "caffeinated", unlike coffee. But lately, since it's been hot, I've been into making cold-brewed sakura sencha in the fridge, using a special bottle with a filter.
Then, at work, I keep a collection of all different kinds of delicious, carefully selected looseleaf teas: oolongs, pu-erhs, black teas (often with cream and honey but sometimes plain; I also like to mix a yunnan hong cha with dried candy cap mushrooms and make a latte from it), white teas, many different Japanese green teas (plus a few Vietnamese and Chinese green teas), matcha I order from a Japanese company I like, various herbal teas including herbal chai blends I make with cream. For my teas, I have a cute mug that makes me happy with a large, spacious tea strainer that fits inside the mug. For the matcha, I have a little matcha kit with a scoop, sieve, whisk, and matcha bowl.
So it's less an *after* work coping strategy and more *during* the workday -- but I make myself different cups of tea throughout the day to just make my day better. When I was in field construction, I just had one thermos with one kind of tea, but now that I'm in the office I can have five different teas in a day if I want to! I pivot towards lower-caffeine options or herbal towards the end of the day.
At home in the evening, I crack open a La Croix or Spindrift. What I want to do when I have the money is to buy a carbonator and make my own sodas. I think making my own shrubs in different flavors and adding them to soda water or otherwise making them into fancy non-alcoholic beverages would be delightful for imbibing alone and also with friends, and a fun creative cooking outlet too!
posted by cnidaria at 9:23 AM on July 19 [4 favorites]
I make tea when I wake up, of course. Often gyokuro -- a really delicious, shade-grown, high-caffeine green tea brewed at 140 F that doesn't make me feel jittery or "caffeinated", unlike coffee. But lately, since it's been hot, I've been into making cold-brewed sakura sencha in the fridge, using a special bottle with a filter.
Then, at work, I keep a collection of all different kinds of delicious, carefully selected looseleaf teas: oolongs, pu-erhs, black teas (often with cream and honey but sometimes plain; I also like to mix a yunnan hong cha with dried candy cap mushrooms and make a latte from it), white teas, many different Japanese green teas (plus a few Vietnamese and Chinese green teas), matcha I order from a Japanese company I like, various herbal teas including herbal chai blends I make with cream. For my teas, I have a cute mug that makes me happy with a large, spacious tea strainer that fits inside the mug. For the matcha, I have a little matcha kit with a scoop, sieve, whisk, and matcha bowl.
So it's less an *after* work coping strategy and more *during* the workday -- but I make myself different cups of tea throughout the day to just make my day better. When I was in field construction, I just had one thermos with one kind of tea, but now that I'm in the office I can have five different teas in a day if I want to! I pivot towards lower-caffeine options or herbal towards the end of the day.
At home in the evening, I crack open a La Croix or Spindrift. What I want to do when I have the money is to buy a carbonator and make my own sodas. I think making my own shrubs in different flavors and adding them to soda water or otherwise making them into fancy non-alcoholic beverages would be delightful for imbibing alone and also with friends, and a fun creative cooking outlet too!
posted by cnidaria at 9:23 AM on July 19 [4 favorites]
13 years of sobriety here. In my early years of sobriety, I didn’t fully understand the relationship between dopamine and addiction. It is really common to replace one addiction for another, for example us alcoholics tend to lean into eating or smoking cigarettes.
I noticed I leaned into end of the day cupcakes. Unfortunately, when stressed I’d overeat cupcakes and feel gross.
What’s key is finding a healthy dopamine release you like (it’s not a punishment), use it in moderation, and work on the addictive behaviors (therapy, journaling, AA meetings whatever works for you).
I know people who got into running or cycling. I know folks who masturbated at the end of the day for the dopamine hit. I know folks who went to live music and concerts every week.
At this point in my sobriety, I like to end my day with either a non alcoholic beer (it doesn’t jeopardize my sobriety now like it would have in the beginning) or a cup of Hot Cinnamon Sunset tea.
There have been studies about non alcoholic drinks triggering dopamine release. Definitely worth reading if you are curious in learning more.
Good luck on your journey!
posted by msladygrey at 3:57 AM on July 20 [1 favorite]
I noticed I leaned into end of the day cupcakes. Unfortunately, when stressed I’d overeat cupcakes and feel gross.
What’s key is finding a healthy dopamine release you like (it’s not a punishment), use it in moderation, and work on the addictive behaviors (therapy, journaling, AA meetings whatever works for you).
I know people who got into running or cycling. I know folks who masturbated at the end of the day for the dopamine hit. I know folks who went to live music and concerts every week.
At this point in my sobriety, I like to end my day with either a non alcoholic beer (it doesn’t jeopardize my sobriety now like it would have in the beginning) or a cup of Hot Cinnamon Sunset tea.
There have been studies about non alcoholic drinks triggering dopamine release. Definitely worth reading if you are curious in learning more.
Good luck on your journey!
posted by msladygrey at 3:57 AM on July 20 [1 favorite]
I know people who got into running or cycling
That’s me. I replaced alcohol addiction with exercise (addiction). I also still eat a lot of sugary treats tho.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 2:02 PM on July 20
That’s me. I replaced alcohol addiction with exercise (addiction). I also still eat a lot of sugary treats tho.
posted by ClarissaWAM at 2:02 PM on July 20
Bublé (flavoured sparkling water) is really big in Canada right now.
Apart from that, iced decaf latte hits the spot. I have also been making chai from scratch lately which is amazing hot or cold, and I use decaf black tea for that.
posted by winterportage at 5:18 PM on July 20
Apart from that, iced decaf latte hits the spot. I have also been making chai from scratch lately which is amazing hot or cold, and I use decaf black tea for that.
posted by winterportage at 5:18 PM on July 20
« Older Interesting, safe Chicago neighborhoods | Mass Communication devices through the years, to... Newer »
You are not logged in, either login or create an account to post comments
posted by tafetta, darling! at 12:42 PM on July 17