A reading celebration for 4 year olds

June 26, 2024 8:25 AM

So I promised my 4.75 year old that if he finished all of the Bob books (102 in our set), that we would have a small party for him. Maybe 2-3 other kids, visiting a bouncy castle, and homemade cupcakes. He's rounding the corner, and almost finished. I expect he'll be party ready in a couple of weeks. Help us plan the party please.

I don't know how to invite kids to this party without it being awkward - most kids in our circle aren't reading yet, and I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable (conversations with close friends and their reactions suggest that this could make people uncomfortable).

So question 1) how to frame this for 2-3 other kids to make it less braggy. Maybe just not mention the reading at all, just that we're inviting and paying for 2-3 kids? Normally parents around here don't pay for other people's kids unless it is a birthday or something.

Question 2) any fun reading theme ideas for the party, especially if we don't worry about potential awkwardness?

posted by cacao to Education (13 answers total)

I don't think it would be awkward or braggy, especially if you describe it the way you have here. Parents understand sticker chart-style reward systems. It could be anything: potty training, sleeping through the night, learning to put his clothes on by himself. All kids have their own thing they need a little bribe to learn.

"We used the reward of a bouncy castle party with his friends as an incentive to get him into reading. We've booked tickets for this day/time, so no expense on your side. Hope your kid can make it."

(btw aren't Bob books awesome?? I taught our kid to read with those too! I'm not from the US and had never heard of them before, but they were so good for something so simple looking!)
posted by EllaEm at 8:59 AM on June 26 [1 favorite]

I agree with EllaEm. You could also just do a low-key play date at a park with picnic. Bring all the Bob books (or a few favorites), have a plate of healthy option (strawberries, banana, carrots, sugar snap peas) and some mini cupcakes (vanilla and chocolate) and have some balls to kick around and maybe do a Bob story time?
posted by amanda at 9:34 AM on June 26

Best answer: Oh gosh, embrace this accomplishment and have a full on BOB party! I'm completely unfamiliar with the Bob books, but my immediate thought was to let your kid find a bunch of good words that start with BOB, and theme the party around that! Celebrate your child and celebrate phonics, all at the same time.

You can have boba tea as a snack, play pin the tail on the bobcat, send bobbleheads home as party favors, bobsledding is probably out of season, but you get the idea!
posted by phunniemee at 9:42 AM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I’d include a quick trip to the library to meet the children’s librarian, have a readaloud and get library cards!
posted by carterk at 10:59 AM on June 26

I’d include a quick trip to the library

I just saw an Instagram reel while I was eating lunch (I scrolled, so of course it has been lost forever) that had such a cute idea. Her local library did a stuffed animal sleepover. Kids took their stuffed animals to the library at closing time, tucked them in and said good night, and then came back to get them in the morning. The librarians gave them photos of all the fun things their stuffys did at the sleepover party, like snack time and story time etc. So cute and she said the kids loved it. Idk how you make that into a party but I like it a lot.
posted by phunniemee at 11:10 AM on June 26 [3 favorites]

Not that the party ideas aren't adorable, but I had an early reader and was really saddened by how many people tried to measure their similarly-aged kids against that. If you've already encountered discomfort, I'd personally aim for vagueness about the specific achievement. Maybe even just "celebrating a milestone." I want to say it's okay to have a whole literacy theme, but I really think you'd have to be very careful about the guest list in that case.
posted by teremala at 12:22 PM on June 26

Best answer: You don't need an explanation for inviting friends along on an outing. Maybe just stop calling it a party? Instead, say "As a special treat, we're going to the bouncy castle on Saturday. I told cacaokid he can invite a couple of friends along. Would randomfriend like to come? It's on us!"

If you're set on an actual party, I wouldn't make it about reading because that IS likely to pressure other children (or at least their parents). But you could certainly make it about books. Don't mention any achievements, just say that your kid is having a book party. You can explain that he's really into (Bob) books right now, or just say that you want to encourage him to love books in general. Most parents will share that goal.

If your son tells his friends about the Bob deal or his reading skills, don't worry. Different kids are good at different things, and that's okay. You might want to remind him to be patient and understanding with less-skilled readers, though.

PS: Be careful about rewarding reading, that can turn a fun hobby into a chore. You want reading to be intrinsically motivating, and external rewards can ruin that. Sounds like he has a solid foundation now, so maybe move away from the rewards (check out the book "Punished By Rewards")? Or, if you really want to stick with them, make reading the reward. As in "You were so patient at the dentist's office, you can have an extra ten minutes of reading time tonight".
posted by toucan at 1:31 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I would agree, don't make the party about reading. My 4.75 year old is in the same spot and it feels like every parent of a kid that age is just simmering with anxiety about whether their kid is ahead or behind or what.

What I *would* do is have a book exchange at the party. Instead of party favors invite families to bring some favorite books to leave and take new ones they haven't read yet. This makes it a part to celebrate literacy without hitting the kids over the head with it.
posted by potrzebie at 4:23 PM on June 26 [2 favorites]

Just have a book themed party. It doesn't have to play up your kid reading, but your kid loving books. Being read to counts as book-loving, so have a book-loving party. Maybe take them to a bookstore and let them each pick out something to buy.

I'm not much for theming of parties, so I'm not going to be help with the details, but you can have a party about reading without it being about *exactly how well your kid can read.*
posted by gideonfrog at 7:32 PM on June 26 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: Thanks everyone! I like the idea of sharing purpose vaguely, like we are celebrating our summer book goal. If asked, I can just say we read a bunch of books that we had decided we wanted to finish (and just avoid that he was the one who read them). I like the used book exchange, or books as favors.

I also like the getting library books thing but maybe that can be a separate adventure because we already have to go somewhere that has a bouncy castle and the two won't be close to each other.
posted by cacao at 8:08 AM on June 27

I know this is done but seriously just a ton of balloons and all will be well.
posted by Saucywench at 5:09 PM on June 27 [1 favorite]

Response by poster: fwiw I mentioned planning this get together to one of the invitees' moms and not being explicit about what we were celebrating came across as cagey, and didn't really work. I think it's share the why or not have the party at all. I will give a more vague description but be prepared to directly answer follow-up questions.
posted by cacao at 11:20 AM on June 29

For a non parent but former child perspective: parents who want to bully their children for not being good enough at something are going to be able to do that with or without the ammunition your party would give them.

I was literally my high school valedictorian and bought my first car myself with babysitting money I had been earning since I was eleven and my parents gave me constant shit about not being more like Andy, a boy in my class who had a part time W-2 job (and a solid C average and raging speed addiction, it turns out). It's not your fault or your child's fault for other parents' bad parenting.

I would have been so sad as a child to think that any of my peers might have been celebrated less to avoid what was truly unavoidable behavior.
posted by phunniemee at 11:59 AM on June 29