Haircut me

June 24, 2024 1:29 PM

Is there a shorter haircut equivalent of long hair in a ponytail, maintenance-wise?

I'm so sick of having long hair but I've never had it above my shoulders so I'm scared I'll regret cutting it. Also I have no idea what to aim for. I wear a ponytail or braid all day every day.

Why: I would prefer a less traditionally feminine style and I'm tired of having my hair tightly pulled back constantly but I can't stand when it flies everywhere, especially into my face (sensory thing) so I never wear it down.

Need 1: LOW maintenance. Lower than you're thinking. Has to be presentable in an office-type environment without much if any product, styling, blowdrying, straightening or curling etc etc. Certainly under 5 minutes worth per day, preferably more like 10 seconds. I'm also not going to buy anything expensive.

Need 2: MUST be able to keep it out of my face at all times, including during sports. Headbands, bananas etc do not work for me.

Extra difficulty: just curly enough to be obnoxious and fly in all directions, not curly enough to look good curly, apparently (mostly 2B, have tried many curly and wavy girl routines, it always looks worse than doing nothing). Very fine so it constantly puffs into frizz even without any damage or brushing.

Bonus that probably makes it impossible, so can be optional: I hate haircuts so much. Prefer something that can go a long time between haircuts, or something simple enough that I can learn to do it myself. I currently cut my own hair, and before that I used to get long layers repeated every 1-1.5 years.

Is there a shorter style that could work for this? I don't think I'm brave enough for something like a buzzcut or completely "masculine" style, but might consider it if nothing better exists.

posted by randomnity to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (23 answers total)

I also have sensory hatred for hair in my face.

I do not have the answer to your question, but I wanted to tell you that have a layered cut -- even one that doesn't look all that layered, like I'm not talking about 1970s Farah Fawcett here -- really changes the way the hair feels when it touches your face and it also makes it less likely to tangle (and it is the tangled hair that feels worst from a sensory perspective, IMO), so if you've never hard a layered long cut, that might solve one of your problems and then you would still have the option to pull it back which is as low-maintenance as hair gets, I think.

Of course that doesn't address the issue of wanting a less feminine style, so it might not be helpful, but there it is just in case.
posted by If only I had a penguin... at 1:44 PM on June 24

I think it's going to be hard to manage curly hair without a little product, (says very fine, 3a curls here), but you can probably minimize your use of product. I think you're looking for a pixie cut. I have had them in the past and they are pretty easy to maintain. A pixie cut will require more regular cuts, but if you find a style you like should be quick to do.
posted by brookeb at 1:53 PM on June 24 [2 favorites]

A couple haircuts I have had and enjoyed:

Undercut, went with this for years. If you search "Jenna Elfman undercut" you'll see dozens of pics of this very cute cut. You can take it shorter or longer, I found it to be a very forgiving style even through abject neglect.

My current cut, which is also very easy to wear. I do use clips if I want it more out of my face though.



Some other cute looks I've decided would be bad for my face shape but that I love: mullety shag, mohawky mullet


Some tips for getting a good cut:

- Go to a QUEER SALON. I don't care if you're straight and cis, if you're female presenting and want a hair cut designed for anything other than the male gaze, you will be best served by going to a small alt salon and getting someone queer to do your hair.

- Tell booking it's a "style change" so they'll get a longer appointment slot for you and no one will feel rushed.

- Take multiple photos of hair you like and be ready to say what specifically about the cut you like. "I like the way this one is cut to the hairline in the back," "I like the way the cut goes around the ear in this one," "I like the style of bangs here, but would prefer them to be shorter like in this cut here," etc.

- Tell your stylist your NEEDS, e.g. I absolutely will never use product so this cut needs to work without it, or I can work a pomade through but I won't spend more than very literally 2 minutes styling it, or I regularly leave my home every morning with wet hair. Or for keeping it out of your face, the ends need to be too short to reach my mouth if it's windy, for example. That's been one for me.

Basically what you're doing is using the photos as guidance for crafting a style, and a good stylist will take that, and your requirements, and make it work for your hair type and face shape.
posted by phunniemee at 1:56 PM on June 24 [20 favorites]

I went from a constant ponytail to a shorter style and have a similar lack of desire to do anything to my hair, including product or blowdrying. I have a slight wave in my hair. I've especially liked a very short back because hair sticking to my neck when I'm sweaty drives me crazy. This is my current cut: new hair
and here is a similar cut a little grown out:
older hair
Two things - I go to a hairdresser who is ready, willing, and able to do more drastic hairstyles (fun cuts, wilder colors, etc.) She's not like a lady I tried out who argued with me about the length because of femininity. And, I work in a creative non-profit setting, not a corporate environment, where things like hair and tattoos are not policed much unless you are, perhaps, the grant writer.
posted by PussKillian at 2:13 PM on June 24 [5 favorites]

I have a short cut- as in hair just below the top of my ears, it is never so long that it falls into my eyes. My hair is wavy. It is a bit longer on top and then tapered round my head to my neck.

It is absolutely minimum styling, I towel dry and run my fingers through it with a bit of styling cream.

I only blow dry when it is overdue a cut by a couple of weeks and starts to fall into my face. At that point, my natural waves become quite unruly and running the blow dry brush through takes a couple of minutes but looks a lot smoother and more intentional. I still run my fingers through afterwards with a bit of styling cream.

If I don’t want to wash it, I just run my very wet fingers through it before I apply a bit more styling cream.

The price for this easy style is that I do have it cut every six weeks.

I do work for a professional services firm. When I first got the short cut many people complimented me.
posted by koahiatamadl at 3:10 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

In case this helps with the idea of products, I finally figured out that there is a drastic difference in my ability to tolerate hair and face products applying them in the mirror while dressed (near nil) versus while taking a shower (it sucks much less!) I now do 90 percent of my lotion and hair product application at the end of my shower, and then just rinse off all the gunk.
posted by heyforfour at 3:18 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

Cis-woman reporting: There's literally nothing that feels better, or is easier to take care of, than 1-inch long hair. I kept mine that way for a looooong time, and loved it. I maintained it with my own set of clippers, just me, no help. It was great. SO GREAT.

I'm growing mine out now because I wanted to see how silver I've gotten (I love my silver), but the buzz cut is still very tempting!

(okay - bald feels really good too, and is even EASIER to take care of - my profile photo shows how well I took to that! :D But it's probably further than you want to go.)
posted by invincible summer at 3:31 PM on June 24 [10 favorites]

> Some other cute looks I've decided would be bad for my face shape but that I love: mullety shag, mohawky mullet

I have a less cool version of the mohawky mullet and I love it. It meets all your needs, except I need to get it cut professionally every five-ish weeks.
posted by The corpse in the library at 3:37 PM on June 24

I accidently got a very short no-maintenance masc style when a friend cut a hair in my mid-20s (for sensory issues around being touched, I didn't like going to salons very much), previously I had sort of a poofy-curly look that I didn't really know how to deal with or describe to people to cut. And I found out that I really liked the new style.

For years, I went to a salon that I really liked that was part of a chain, and after a while I realized was run by a trans women. Even thought the staff weren't obviously queer, they were very comfortable giving me a short haircut (something that some salons REALLY DON'T LIKE doing). And since I felt more comfortable with the people there, my sensory issues toned down a notch.

When I changed jobs, I didn't end up in that part of the state very often, so tried changing salons and it took me a while (and a few bad haircuts, and shitty sensory experiences) to find the one where I am now, where a middle-aged punk cuts my hair to the shortest possible level with scissors every 4-6 weeks.

So, I write this to say that my experience has been that my sensory issues and resulting discomfort around getting my hair cut are related to how comfortable I am with the people and the atmosphere of the salon. Now, with middle-aged punk stylist, I don't dread going to get my haircut as I did when I was younger, so the more frequent cuts are less of an issue. That may be something to experiment with by finding either an alt or queer salon, as suggested up-thread.
posted by chiefthe at 3:44 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

Also if you have curly hair, highly recommend going to a salon that cuts black and/or other ethnic hair. I can tell in about five seconds those salons that can only do one cut for curly hair because they don't really understand the variations in texture and curl, took one class and now that's their go-to cut for curly hair. Check out the Instagrams of the salons you're considering. If you see basically the same haircut on all the models don't go (unless of course you really like that one haircut).
posted by brookeb at 4:11 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

Hello you are me and I just did this after 18 months of no cut because I hate haircuts and also talking in hair salons. google short hair curly female cut. Pick one. Tell the stylist that you plan to do nothing. I put the top half of mine up with a hair tie. it goes halfway down my neck and is very curly but nothing is in my face because I put it half up.
posted by melodykramer at 4:49 PM on June 24

You’re looking for a pixie cut, there are a lot of variations. You do have to commit to regular trims. Think of the time you will save from washing hair and doing your ponytail, even 10 minutes a week sums up to an hour hair appointment every 6 weeks.

I agree with a queer salon. The first cut may not be perfect. I have to give a new stylist about four cuts to master my hair and make it fall the right way. Have patience. I love short hair and will not grow my hair out long again.
posted by shock muppet at 5:06 PM on June 24

You cannot get everything you want, but I would recommend a pixie cut and taking the cost of more frequent haircuts in exchange for the freedom beyond that.
If you are willing to get your hair cut every 6-8 weeks, you can find a short cut that will probably mostly look good with minimal work. It may take you some time to figure out how to deal with it to minimize the work. That may include washing it less, finding the right product that lets you go without much blowdrying, etc. With the way you describe your hair I think you will hate it if you go longer than that without a cut, having a short haircut.
If you only want to get your hair cut every year or so, stick with the ponytail. But short hair is fun and awesome and imho worth the regular cuts (which are usually very fast because it's short hair!).
posted by ch1x0r at 6:32 PM on June 24 [1 favorite]

Agreeing with the pixie cut. I have always had extremely long or extremely short hair; the in between lengths are torture. Can't stand long hair any more because of long hairs all over the house and in the bathroom drain.

Variations on the pixie cut I have had include clipper cuts (use a #8) with a longer top, or scissors cut. I have extremely thick and stubborn hair so I also get the hairdresser to use thinning shears on the top. About every couple of months or whenever my "sideburns" get too long.

The biggest problem I had was hairdressers wanting to make it longer and more feminine, and I found that if I go to a Super Cuts they will do whatever I want and they're cheaper.

I wash it a couple of times a week and brush it whenever I think of it.
posted by Peach at 7:42 PM on June 24 [2 favorites]

This could be terrible advice, but have you thought about shaving your head? I used to buzz my own hair for a few years and having a self-maintained buzz cut ticks most of your boxes: doesn’t look feminine; when it bugs you, that’s when it’s time to cut it yourself; sensory friendly (you get such a nice texture all the time instead of flyaways everywhere); astoundingly low maintenance in between cuts.
posted by mismatched at 9:32 PM on June 24 [3 favorites]

I have been to the hairdresser two times in my life. I find longer hair is easier to look after as every two months I just cut off the bottom ten centimetres/three inches, before I do my weekly hair wash.

Each morning long(ish) hair twirled into one or two ponytails and then pinned up with hairpins (6-8) or scrunched with a clasp or two. I make sure that my hair brush is natural bristle so that there is no static. If I forget my glasses and drop a hairpin - three minutes, otherwise less.
posted by Barbara Spitzer at 11:51 PM on June 24

As someone with similar needs, buzzed hair has been so good for me for the last decade or so. I think it working depends partly on the shape of one's head/face. When I first did it, leaving some longer--maybe an inch or two--in the front felt like a sort of security for me. My hair has enough texture that this doesn't become too-short bangs, it becomes a sort of bump, YMMV. I've become increasingly private in my profile here but if you want to see pics I can share my facebook if you message me.
posted by needs more cowbell at 2:35 AM on June 25 [1 favorite]

Buzzcut, for real, although I do like the queer salon advice. You can cycle through as many lengths as you want and buzz it again (to whatever length — doesn’t have to be skin) when it gets too long. The curl in your hair will make it fun and give it its own style without being messy. You’ll need electric clippers with a set of guide combs, a dustpan and brush, and a vacuum cleaner. Cut when wet. Clean and oil your clippers afterwards (they come with oil usually) to keep ‘em sharp. You can also get into doing different lengths, e.g. undercut, longer on top, etc… still very quick. Enjoy!
posted by lokta at 4:53 AM on June 25

I think others have addressed the length/cuts, I wanted to address the extra difficulty! We have the same hair! You need to find Your Perfect Conditioner. Mine is Superdrug Avocado Oil. It used to be other things that have been discontinued. The hallmarks are - very moisturising, but light. Your hair should feel nourished, but neither weighed down nor too flighty. I tend to not rinse out the conditioner all the way to help with that. A heavy conditioner will be easily identifiable as your hair looks lank and greasy. A light one will be easily identifiable as your hair will start to frizz and puff right away as it dries. The perfect one will even give you a little curl/wave.

I never take more than 10 seconds to style my hair. Conditioner is everything!

(I solved the problem by keeping it long and investing in claw clips...I take the front section of my hair, twist it and clip it. I let it dry like that and go to the office like that and everything)
posted by london explorer girl at 5:54 AM on June 25 [2 favorites]

Hi this was me , w/the pulled back because sensory, needs to be low low maintenance, just-curly-enough, very fine hair (but a lot of it), and I kept telling people the things you said and I finally got a guy who cut it a way that works for me and have kept it that way for years now. It was at a queer- and trans-friendly salon so definitely recommend that, Strands for Trans has a map across the country.

Mine is a pixie that’s a little asymmetric, layers about a finger’s length long on one side and then one length just brushing my brow on the other (transitioning to the finger-length around the ears/in the back). I don’t play sports but generally don’t find it gets in my face at all, with it being as fine as it is it’s not heavy enough to “unstick” from itself to do that. A good clip would probably hold it in place if I needed to run around though.

Basically I get my fingers damp and run through my hair to adjust any wonky shapes from sleeping and then I go. If I’m feeling fancy I will wet it, scrunch dry, then put in gel and let it air dry on my commute (taking 2 min to scrunch it out when I get to work), which gives me curls that fall into the “it looks like it’s supposed to be a mess” category, which didn’t work when my hair was longer. It did take me a few months of consistently doing a curly girl routine AFTER I cut off all my hair, because my curls behaved significantly differently w/less weight. But I also don’t need to mess with the curls to be presentable.

This grows out into a nice shaggy mid-2000s rocker boy look, which may not be up your alley but I think is fun until it almost hits my shoulders in which case I start having nightmares about my hair getting long again and I get it cut. I can go about 10 weeks on that, would probably need 5-6 if I wanted to keep it in the pixie range. I also hated getting my hair cut, but I found that I hated it a LOT less when 1) I actually liked the cut I was getting instead of just tolerating it 2) the hair stylist didn’t try to talk to me a bunch while cutting and/or got me in and out in 15 minutes flat (first person who cut it right was new and too focused to chat; second was a master who came from three generations of stylists), 3) I picked times where the salon was mostly empty (4pm on a Saturday was an unpopular time).
posted by brook horse at 4:08 PM on June 25

My key to low-maintenance wavy-ish but not full-on curly hair (probably as low-maintenance as you -- I don't own a hairdryer, I want to be able to wash and go, I want to get haircuts as rarely as possible) has been...getting perms since I was 18.

Perms are associated with horrid 1980s frizzy hair, but in our year of the Lord 2024, if you go to a skillful person, they can perm your hair in such a way that no one will think it's a perm. Mine looks completely natural, just full-on curly. Which makes low-maintenance much more possible. Curls are much more forgiving if you skip a haircut for a month or three, you don't really need to brush or dry them in the morning, etc. etc. I wash, put in some product and that's it. I have had the perm in a long hair incarnation (down my back) and short-ish hair incarnation (still a "femme" haircute but short enough that nothing bothered me during sports -- very short bangs and layered chin-length bob -- although I am less sensitive to that than it sounds like you are.

So...just something to consider as a thinking outside the box option.
posted by virve at 10:54 PM on June 25

For maintenance, the answer is hairbands.
And specifically, go to Clair or equivalent, and get a hairband in metal that you can bend to the shape of your hear, one that has the metal wire wrapped around it bent in the shape of little comb that will keep all the strugly bits away from yours face as they grew out.
posted by thegirlwiththehat at 3:21 AM on June 26

Buzzcut! You can do it yourself. In 2020 I went from a fluffy wavy pixie-ish cut to a 3/4" buzzcut and did that for 2 years. I just redid it whenever I felt too shaggy. It would be startling to go from your current length of hair to a buzzcut but you could try a professionally-done pixie for a while before buzzing. If you hate it, growing out a pixie is tedious (doing it now) but doesn't require frequent cuts.

I have 3A hair per Curlsmith. When very short, it lays reasonably flat, and develops waves at a few inches long.
posted by esoterrica at 11:59 AM on June 27