Help my thin, dry Hair: Conditioner, Deep Conditioner, Detangler

May 31, 2024 1:01 PM

I've let my thin, fine, post-menopausal 1A hair grow out since covid. (I'm avoiding closed, crowded indoor spaces where I'm unable to mask, so no more beauty salons.) My long hair gets dreadfully tangled and breaks easily if its not braided. Brushing/combing it after washing is very, very painful. It breaks when I try to gently detangle it, despite my best efforts at being gentle. Looking for recommendations for conditioners, deep conditioners, detanglers and other products. Unscented preferred.

I'm sensitive to some fragrances (e.g. scented candles, cleaning products, air fresheners), so my first preference is for unscented/fragrance free products. But I'm desperate enough to try something scented if it's highly recommended.

posted by LeftMyHeartInSanFrancisco to Clothing, Beauty, & Fashion (15 answers total)

What I'd recommend most of all is upgrading your brush - my current pick is the Olivia Garden large fingerbrush which detangles my hair even better than a Tangle Teezer. And brush after airdrying, of course; both wet-brushing and heat increase breakage.

Aussie SOS 3 Minute Miracle deep conditioners are alas not unscented, but it's not an aggressive scent. The other thing I'd try is plain oiling your hair (before washing it) with plain almond or olive oil (or amla if you can get it) - food grade ones are guaranteed not to have artificial scents and doing this once a week or two really gets hair much less prone to breaking. Back when I was dying my hair all the time, oiling especially kept my fine hair supple.
posted by I claim sanctuary at 1:17 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]

When was the last time you cut your hair? The most reliable sign that I need a trim is not the appearance of my hair but how easily it tangles—the ragged ends are more likely to catch on each other and other hairs. If you're not comfortable having a pro cut there are lots of YouTube videos about simple ways to trim your own hair, or ask a trusted friend.
posted by telegraph at 1:26 PM on May 31 [10 favorites]

Brushing wet increases breakage if we are talking about a bristly kind of brush, but detangling brushes are more like combs. Detangling while your hair is wet and has conditioner in it--with something like a tangle teezer or a wide-toothed comb--is going to be the gentlest, most effective way to get tangles out without hurting you and your hair. If you can stand it, really take your time and do it while you're in the shower.

You might also want to check your towels and toweling technique. A rough towel will rough up your hair. Consider not drying it with a towel at all, just squeeze the water out and perhaps braid it wet to give it a chance to dry without getting retangled.

Unfortunately, it is very much not unscented, but the L'Oreal Wonder Water treatment really does make hair both smoother and stronger, and is great for encouraging knots to slip right out.
posted by redfoxtail at 1:30 PM on May 31 [3 favorites]

Even if you are growing it out, you should still get regular trims to keep the ends from getting too damaged. I went several months without a trim over the winter/spring for reasons, and my very fine hair looked so bad.
posted by computech_apolloniajames at 1:40 PM on May 31 [2 favorites]

(I'm avoiding closed, crowded indoor spaces where I'm unable to mask, so no more beauty salons.)

Masking was required for two+ years at the salon I go to, and it's still strongly encouraged. It's entirely possible to mask during hair care. I just got a fully masked haircut 2 weeks ago. This can still be an option for you.
posted by phunniemee at 2:10 PM on May 31 [14 favorites]

Kristin Ess has an unscented line of hair care that is available at Target and Amazon-- the deep treatment mask might help make your hair healthier and more manageable. For combing, have you tried a leave-in conditioner? I often apply the leave-in conditioner in the shower and comb my hair before I step out. This is the one by Kristin Ess, but it's not unscented. I use Kinky-Curly Knot Today leave-in conditioner on my barely wavy hair because it smells like vanilla cake.
posted by ruddlehead at 2:14 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]

argan oil is something a friend recommended. i tried it & thought it was alright. a bit expensive though. i've also gravitated a bit more towards solid bar shampoos & conditioners, rather than oil or liquid. Hibar is one of the first brands i tried, because they have a three-pack with options for different types of hair. that could be a way to start.

i now have a nice shop in the neighborhood that has a variety of different natural shampoo & conditioner bars. i don't know all the components, honestly. i also like mixing things up, so i try out different ones each time (i do like orange, almond, & rose, but that's mostly personal preference). what i think is most helpful is that the ingredients are natural, e.g. shea butter versus something like sodium lauryl sulfate. anyway, good luck!

also, seconding leave-in conditioner
posted by HearHere at 2:17 PM on May 31

You need this Dove Amplified Textures Conditioner, it's a very mild scent and ACTUALLY detangles unlike so many detangling conditioners I tried. Or this Kids version (conditioner only) is basically the same thing except cheaper and the scent is a bit weird (not grossly overpowering, just smells slightly chemically to me). They have the kids version at my Walmart in the black haircare section on the very bottom shelf.

Also, if you deal with frizz Ouai Hair Oil is stupidly expensive but has tamed my long wavy hair more than I thought was possible.
posted by Eyelash at 2:22 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]

The Kristen Ess deep treatment mask that ruddlehead mentioned above is great, except that they have some quality control issue with the pump mechanism, which has been broken on multiple bottles that I bought on different occasions from different vendors. The top is fused on so you can't unscrew it to get it open. It's frustrating enough that I have given up on it.

Kristen Ess' Fragrance Free Shine Enhancing conditioner is in a different kind of bottle and works great for detangling my hair the shower. Mine tangles easily too, and detangling it in the shower with conditioner on it seems to work best.
posted by creepygirl at 3:42 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]

For a while, my wife paid a stylist to come to our house and cut her hair. At first they did it in our back yard. Then they did it in the kitchen, with the stylist wearing a mask. Don't know if something like that would be manageable for you.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 4:02 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]

I have thin, fine hair that tends to go frizzy, and I love using Verb's Ghost Oil. It's a pricey, small bottle, but the 2 oz. bottle lasted six months. One pump spread across my hands and worked into my hair is enough. It's not unscented, but I think the scent is very mild.
posted by gladly at 6:41 PM on May 31 [1 favorite]

Best answer: My similar hair responds very well to Redken’s All Soft shampoo and conditioner. I shampoo, then condition roots-to-tip (sacrilege, but necessary for me), then gently comb (starting in sections from the bottom up) with a wide-tooth comb. After I comb, I let the conditioner sit for a few minutes, then rinse and wrap my hair in a soft jersey wrap rather than towel it dry. After a few minutes, I scrunch/pat in Garnier’s argan oil leave-in conditioner, then gently comb through again with a wide-tooth comb. (Once a week I use Redken’s detox shampoo, plus the All Soft heavy cream conditioner, because I have super hard water.)

It was really tough for me at first to realize I needed this much conditioning, since my whole life I had believed it would turn my thin, fine hair into a flat oil slick. But it has been a real game changer! With this routine, plus regular trims every time I notice the ends tangling up more than normal, my hair looks thicker and fuller than it ever has.

I will say, anything that is marketed as a detangler, or that comes in a spray bottle, or that makes my hair feel in the slightest bit sticky/tacky, is an express ticket to breakage city. And fair warning, while many love the L'Oreal Wonder Water, it gave me a rash down my back and a headache from the smell.
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 8:14 PM on May 31

A keratin mask can help strengthen hair and prevent breakage. Skin Actives' hair mask has no added fragrance. It's pricy but their stuff is full of good things and free of unnecessary ingredients.


(I'm avoiding closed, crowded indoor spaces where I'm unable to mask, so no more beauty salons.)

Masking was required for two+ years at the salon I go to, and it's still strongly encouraged. It's entirely possible to mask during hair care. I just got a fully masked haircut 2 weeks ago. This can still be an option for you.

Came here to say the same thing- I have never not been masked at the salon, and I have a haircut and a several-hours, multi stage coloring procedure. It requires a mask with earloops, so I wear a KN-95 and aimed to get the first appointment for the day.
posted by oneirodynia at 10:33 PM on May 31

Response by poster: Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions.

You've convinced me to trim off several inches. I'm going to Google your other suggestions and choose a detangling comb and several of the products you've suggested, including the keratin mask. A million thanks.

(I'm glad some of you have felt comfortable going back to the salon with a KN94. I have some underlying medical concerns that make me hesitant to try a KN94 indoors for the length of time a haircut would take ... AND gotta admit that following Twitter accounts re: long covid has made me really motivated not to get covid. BUT I DEFINITELY MISS THE BEFORETIMES and my cute Vidal Sassoon bob!)
posted by LeftMyHeartInSanFrancisco at 3:24 PM on June 1

Silk pillowcase; check if you have hard water, if so get a filter to soften it
posted by cotton dress sock at 5:30 PM on June 1 [1 favorite]