How did you recover from burnout? Walk me through the steps.

March 2, 2024 11:35 AM

I am beyond burnt out. No energy to do anything. Never feel rested--all the signs and symptoms, I have them. I am also unable to take time off work to recover (incidentally, work is also the main source of my burnout), nor can I afford to see a naturopath. I can, however, get massages, and I regularly see a therapist. I have had my levels tested by my family doctor and all come back in the normal range.

Can you please tell me the steps you took to recover from burnout? Did you:

- Stop drinking coffee/tea/wine?
- Take specific supplements?
- Change your exercise routine (I currently do HIIT workouts twice a week, but it is SO HARD to get myself to do them. Should I switch to something more gentle?)
- Stop eating certain foods? (ie: sugar and gluten)
-Incorporate more of certain foods?
-Do anything else not mentioned above?

I am at the point of burnout where it's hard for me to make any kind of decisions about anything. When I'm not at work, all I want to do is lay in my bed. I am hoping the people of metafilter who have helped me so much before can put me on a path to getting my brain and life back!

Thanks in advance.

posted by figaro to Health & Fitness (30 answers total)

I took four months off work and came back with reduced day-to-day responsibilities. Sorry, but there's no other hack for this. Two years later I am still on a reduced load and very very gradually recovering. Don't go to the point where you are forced by your body to stop; recovery takes longer the deeper you go.
posted by heatherlogan at 11:47 AM on March 2 [26 favorites]

I was recently part of a support group that read this book (specific to burnout in academia). She goes through all the literature, and all the research suggests that if work is what is burning you out, time off work and therapy are the two things that help. I'm sorry. Believe me, I wish there was a better answer so we could all do anything more possible than finding a way to take time off work.
posted by hydropsyche at 11:50 AM on March 2 [6 favorites]

When I said "I took four months off work", what I mean is that I was on sick leave for four months, and basically slept most of that time. I went to the point where I was forced by my body to stop.
posted by heatherlogan at 11:52 AM on March 2 [5 favorites]

Co-sign that a break is critical.

After the break, limiting work hours, and dancing or exercise or singing every day helps. Walking at lunch, even if it’s up and down a stairwell. There are other techniques in Burnout. But really this is a time to intervene with yourself for your health and take that critical break before your body takes it for you.
posted by warriorqueen at 12:01 PM on March 2 [5 favorites]

Are you still a teacher? If so, please reduce your work stress by whatever means necessary. Show more movies in class, or use canned lesson plans. Drop any non-essential duties. Take a sick day whenever you can, just to rest. Being a teacher is really, really hard, and your bosses likely make you feel like you owe it to the school to be there every day, giving 110%. You don't! And you can't! I love my teaching job and I have a really supportive administration, but I still feel guilty when I take time off. And there's just no reason to. Human beings need rest.
posted by chaiminda at 12:19 PM on March 2 [9 favorites]

Rest. Rest. And rest some more. Instead of pushing yourself to exercise go for a walk and notice things. Say no and don't apologize for it. Do that thing that brings you joy, or maybe not and that's ok too. Be kind to yourself like you are with others. Let your mind wander. It took years to feel this exhausted, give it time to feel normal again.

Also, a medical checkup to make sure vit D, B12, iron are all ok as well as thyroid stuff, because there could be a medical issue working against you. Wishing you all the best.
posted by Arctostaphylos at 12:47 PM on March 2 [2 favorites]

I quit my job, moved to a cabin in the bush, and swung in a hammock for two months reading (and finishing!) Infinite Jest. Then another month figuring out my future. My only media was a battery radio and about 30min of internet per day for emails and life paperwork. My day had just the right amount of responsibilities. Check the header tank, sweep the floors, cook food, do dishes, and shower.
posted by Thella at 12:47 PM on March 2 [4 favorites]

There is no recovery from burnout without a break from work.
After my first burnout with physical breakdown in 2017 i only took a week off. Two years later in 2019 it caught up with me with a vengeance, i not only broke down physically but my mental health became unstable and since spring 2020 i am no longer able to work.
I know you ask about recovery steps. But recovery can only happen once you quit the job that burned you out. I tried to recover while on the job. But changing your diet, excersise and supplements will not help as long as you are working.
posted by 15L06 at 12:47 PM on March 2 [9 favorites]

I know you want relatively simple changes like vitamins or diet, but as you can see from the answers above, the only cure is to drop all responsibilities--or at least as many as possible. Say no to EVERY request. Don't take on any new project or hobby.

Also, if you feel responsible for the wellbeing of others, unless they are your own minor children, let go. They'll find someone else to look after them. I promise you that.

If you must continue working (but try for a sick leave) do nothing after work but the bare necessities. Have at least five minutes every hour, one hour a day, one day a week, and one weekend a month where you go nowhere, see no one, and do nothing. Lie on your couch or bed. Stare at the ceiling. Let the hours drift by. Sit in nature when the weather is warm, go for walks in all weathers.

You must detach. It's the only way to come back from where you are.

Good luck. You can do this.
posted by purplesludge at 1:17 PM on March 2 [3 favorites]

I am also unable to take time off work to recover

Why? If it's financial, figure out your fuck-you number and start saving aggressively toward it. If it's a sense of obligation or "I love my job" or anything along those lines, just remember that work doesn't love you back.
posted by basalganglia at 2:17 PM on March 2 [4 favorites]

You seem to think that burnout is a sign that you are a broken machine and you can fix it with some minor tweaking. I thought this too! It’s not true. It’s a sign that you are human and your warning systems are working as intended and you need to rest. I worked half time on FMLA for about four months, because I wanted the structure to my life, otherwise spent a lot of time sleeping and staring at the wall, and raised my hours to full time over another month or so. You will probably need way, way more rest than you think once you let yourself stop and can really feel how hard you’ve been pushing.
posted by momus_window at 2:47 PM on March 2 [7 favorites]

For years I have been testing in the low normal range of b12, turns out low normal is not exactly that and I was suffering from deficiency symptoms, fatigue being top of the list. It also made it very hard to make decisions. As someone mentioned upthread, low iron, d (and folate) can also be problematic. If you have the values on hand, I would look into them further just to cross that off the list. 40% of the US population is b12 deficient.
posted by nanook at 3:04 PM on March 2 [3 favorites]

Within the parameters of not being able to take time off work, I think trying periods of exercise on more days of the week may be helpful. I started tracking my mood and energy in relation to whether I devoted time to exercising in the morning, and for me there is a definite improvement in energy on days I exercise. For me knowing that is enough to counter some of the desire to use that time for additional sleep.

Other things that help me: severely limiting screen time and completely eliminating mindless scrolling - using that time to just sit or sleep. Going outside at some point in the work day and walking around, even for five minutes. Completely abandoning stuff that was non-essential like manicures, makeup routines, and putting effort into clothing choices. Making a very simple meal of a brown rice and broccoli bowl topped with an egg or pre-marinated tofu and some peanut sauce - it felt homemade and a break from eating frozen meals or delivery, but was extremely non-taxing to prepare.

Related to supplements, etc: I was taking a high dose of Lexapro and also an antihistamine for allergies daily and felt draggy a lot. I felt like napping all the time. I have a pyschiatrist and she gave me an ok and I was able to cut my Lexapro by 5 mg and it has helped. If you take any medication like that, an appointment with your provider might be worth paying for to try changing dosages. Anything else like Vitamin D, magnesium, etc has had no noticeable effect.

In addition to massage, do you have coverage for acupuncture treatment? I have no idea if it is more than placebo, but the calm atmosphere and the care of an acupuncturist can feel really good for inflammation and put you in a better head space for the day.
posted by lizard music at 3:17 PM on March 2 [1 favorite]

If you broke you leg, you wouldn't be here asking how to recover from a broken leg while still continuing to run daily - we all know how ridiculous that would sound. It's the same with burnout - you need to get off the broken leg (ie work) so it can heal. If you were incapacitated such that you couldn't walk without assistance, you'd setup your life to make things easier, make adjustments to all aspects of life, from how you get into bed, feed yourself, bathe, etc. Healing from burnout is similar - it also requires adjusting many aspects of your life such that you can take the break from work your brain needs. Good luck, and I applaud you for realizing that you do indeed need to make changes! But there's no easy change, so simple diet change or similar unfortunately, but your brain and your mental health are worth it!
posted by cgg at 3:19 PM on March 2 [4 favorites]

Consider memailing me, a teacher across the water from you... I was en route to burnout as a highly dedicated teacher to students I loved in a system that asked too much and then kept pilling on more responsibilities and paperwork.

I left the stressful job and started TOCing. Other people's lesson plans, no follow up work after I got home, no marking. No report cards. 5 years later, I now take temporary contracts only if they look cool. I enjoy flying under the radar at schools where nobody knows who I am.

I didn't get to full burnout, but it still took me years to get back to the me I remember being.
posted by Sauter Vaguely at 4:19 PM on March 2 [1 favorite]

And just a note: If you are in a contract TAKE A MEDICAL LEAVE. Tons of teachers are taking medical leaves. No job is worth your health.
posted by Sauter Vaguely at 4:22 PM on March 2 [3 favorites]

Others have handled the big-picture stuff, I can speak to the exercise part. I like HIIT workouts too, but only when I'm bright-eyed and bushy-tailed. I found walking was a much better option during burnout. I mapped out a route so that I wouldn't have to use the energy to decide where to go each time, I could just put on my shoes and go. The nice thing about walking is you don't have to put in a lot of effort, necessarily, you can just zombie-shuffle your way along if need be and you'll still end up putting in your steps and getting the benefits for your physical and mental health. Personally, I liked to walk that same path every single day at the same time, because the consistent routine felt settling.
posted by (F)utility at 5:04 PM on March 2 [5 favorites]

I don't have any concrete answers, but lots of empathy. I'm in a similar (but really not identical) boat and it really stinks.

I haven't read any bad advice in this thread yet, and it's making me feel guilty for not doing these things I know I should be doing.

The only thing I'm here to say is re: exercise. Intense exercise is great and so hard to start, but walking and walking and walking until my brain turns off is much more manageable. Biking, too, but that's miserable right now where I live so it's walking instead.

I wish you good health and better luck taking a break somehow.
posted by Acari at 6:00 PM on March 2

You will probably need way, way more rest than you think once you let yourself stop and can really feel how hard you’ve been pushing

QFT.
posted by Thella at 6:54 PM on March 2 [2 favorites]

My spouse changed doctors to someone who practiced bio-identical hormones as a result of a medical emergency many years ago. He got such spectacular results by following this doctor's advice that I changed to the same doctor. I would say I was probably halfway to a full-on burnout when I started with him. By the time I'd followed his advice, had the lab tests, and took the supplements he prescribed for six months, I honestly felt like a new person. There are many (especially traditional physicians) who will poo-poo this advice, but for us it was a life changer. I highly recommend it.
posted by summerstorm at 7:54 PM on March 2 [1 favorite]

I recovered by taking a long break and then quitting altogether. Sorry. Everything else is at best a coping strategy.

It would be wise to rule out organic causes though.
posted by i_am_joe's_spleen at 12:06 AM on March 3

I needed about ten months of literal bed rest. The only responsibilities I mostly kept up with were occasional family celebrations/very basic social commitments, and basic care for my dogs (feeding, short walks, vet visits). I slept a lot, I watched entire TV shows, and I ate comforting food I didn't have to cook (lots of snacks). I used paper plates to feed the dogs sometimes, even though I am environmentally conscious and do not ever use those in normal times. With my young dog, I played fetch while lying in bed because getting up was not possible. I think I was close to the edge. It had gotten so bad that when I dropped something, my body would just remain standing up. I had to "tell" it to bend down and do the motion of picking up. It's like my body questioned the necessity of all movement because that's how tired it was. In retrospect, I feel a lot of compassion for then-me and I wish I'd let myself rest sooner.

Burnout is a medical problem. It won't go away with healthy eating/exercise/torturing yourself by cutting out sugar/meditation/supplements. That's all potentially helpful when you're feeling a bit down, but you need more. Your brain is physically ill. You can probably see it on an MRI. And until you follow the doctors' orders (who pretty much prescribe bed rest for burnout), you can't get better. I'm sorry. I wish it were easier to fix this. I know it's almost impossible to make decisions and maybe even think in your situation. You could tell us more about why you can't take time off, and maybe we can come up with ideas?

It has now been over a year since I was diagnosed, almost two years since I felt the first symptoms, and I'm still not back to normal. This time last year, I got some excellent answers on a similar question, like this one from heatherlogan. It goes into the science of burnout, and it was really helpful to me. It allowed me to rest without guilt, like I would with a broken bone.

I needed all that rest, and magically, over time, things became easier. I don't have the energy I used to have. But I can go for bike rides and long walks again. I can use my free time for other things than Netflix (though I really recommend the British show Taskmaster for gentle mental healing, and I still need a dose of that every day). I am solving the problems of daily life, at least sometimes, and I have recently started making real meals again - sometimes. It takes a long time to recover from burnout. Probably the same amount of time it took to get that exhausted.
posted by toucan at 1:52 AM on March 3 [6 favorites]

Honestly, it feels fucked up but the pandemic hitting and then getting laid off from my retail job with 18 months of unemployment pay is what helped me. Even with all the other stressors (including, in my case, needing to find new housing more than once), having a stretch of time where my only responsibilities were keeping myself fed, housed, entertained, and safe was a lot of what I needed. Sure I also tried to eat more vegetables and go outside on walks when I could but those alone didn't do it.
posted by needs more cowbell at 3:23 AM on March 3 [1 favorite]

I disagree that intense exercise is necessarily good — I’m not a sports or exercise professional but doing HIIT when you’re burnt out seems counterintuitive to me. You’re already under so much stress that hyping up your system with even more stress doesn’t seem like it’s going to be an opportunity for healing. Low intensity seems the way to go.
posted by lokta at 5:18 AM on March 3 [6 favorites]

I didn’t know I was burnt out. I thought I was depressed and anxious. Then my dad got sick and I had to take a leave to look after him. The change in focus was was helpful. Then after he passed away, I stayed on a break for another 6 months. I went back to a different job in the same field that enabled me to do things I care about more and to work normal hours. Sorry I don’t have a solution that doesn’t involve a break.
posted by girlpublisher at 5:31 AM on March 3

Lindsay Braman is a therapist who draw comics about the science of mental health and she has done a few really great summaries on burnout. Here’s one:

https://lindsaybraman.com/burnout-syndrome/
posted by forkisbetter at 10:32 AM on March 3 [3 favorites]

I am getting closer to recovery about 3/3.5 years after the initial burn-out caused from a job. I am going to agree with those above that you can't really "wellness" your way out of it, that will only keep it at the level it is at at the very best. You really need to get rid of the stressor and find some way to rest.

The very start of my recovery was FMLA for 3 months at the job causing the problem; quitting that job; finding a therapist and therapeutic modality that resonated; and finding a new, half-time job with a better environment about 2 months after leaving the last job.

I have a friend also going through burnout recovery. While SSRIs helped him maintain while he was still employed, what *really* helped was getting laid off from his job and being in a financial position to consider himself in early retirement.

With the constraint of not removing the stressor completely, can you find some ways to do your job but take a break within it? Sign up for some internal training? Take on boring routine tasks that require zero brain power but need to get done?

I found the Nagoski's Burnout book very helpful in the last 9 or so months in trying to find a way to make my job work and get out of the burnout situation I knew I was in. Again, it helped me maintain, but recovery wasn't possible until I left.
posted by chiefthe at 3:30 PM on March 3

Best answer: Like others above, extreme rest is the only thing that really helped. I changed to a less stressful job, only working half time, and stopped doing anything that wasn't strictly necessary, including many chores and social/family commitments. I did have a medical condition diagnosed during this time, but even with proper treatment, it's taken over a year with minimal energy expenditure and maximum rest (a full nights sleep plus hour or more naps in the afternoon / on weekends) to begin to feel like I might be able to recover. As in, I'm not yet recovered, but the potential is there. Which is an improvement, because for the majority of the last two years I've been pretty doubtful that it was even possible to recover from burnout.

I really recommend seriously re-thinking whether it is possible for you to leave your job. Your body is flashing a big neon sign: you cannot continue on like this. Better to leave with a plan than be forced to it by a complete collapse of your health (or worse).

In the meantime, set down as many responsibilities as you can. If you can afford to hire something done, like cleaning, hire it out. If you can't afford it, lower your standards. Stop pushing through. Avoid alcohol as much as you can. Be gentle with yourself: when you overdo it, when you make a sub-optimal choice, when you don't meet society's standard. Save your energy for only the things that are the most valuable and important to you--your best beloved, your deepest values. Anything that you're spending energy on only because you think you 'ought' to, stop. Joy and pleasure are not luxuries, they are essentials. Good luck!
posted by radiogreentea at 10:17 AM on March 4 [3 favorites]

This genuinely helps me avoid burnout: organize with your coworkers to make your workplace less fucked up.

Also, I really like spin class.. doing HIIT alone would be hard for me to motivate - spin class involves distracting music and a group of other people and a teacher telling you what to do - all of which helps keep me moving.
posted by latkes at 9:13 AM on March 5

Oh and go outside and move your body as frequently as possible. Like, a quick walk around the block at lunch or after dinner. Or go sit in a park with a sandwich for lunch on the weekend.
posted by latkes at 9:14 AM on March 5