Help me make an RV trip with kids suck less
January 16, 2024 9:30 AM   Subscribe

My husband and I are traveling from Mount Shasta CA to Phoenix AZ with our 3 year old and 4 month old. This will be my first time in an RV and not my idea of a good time. Can you suggest some great stops along the way and/or tips for keeping us all sane?

Background - We've decided that flying is a shit show right now and don't want to deal with the potential delays and germs. A rental RV it is. We have somewhere to park it at our destination and a car to borrow to get around Phoenix.

We're aware there is no 100% safe way to travel with kids in an RV. The RV's seatbelts are bolted to the metal frame of the vehicle and not just the wood, so that gives some confidence for securing the kids' car seats.

Route - The RV is a beast at 32 feet. Given the season we need to avoid snowstorms and snowy mountain passes. We're thinking of this route:

- Mount Shasta to Bakersfield mostly on the 99
- After Bakersfield take the 58 towards Barstow
- Then head South on the 247 towards Joshua Tree / TwentyNine Palms
- Then make our way over to the 10 to Phoenix

Would love any recommendations for interesting stops.

Kids - The trip is 1000 miles and we're going to need to stop every 2-3 hours to nurse our infant, diaper change, stretch, and get our 3 year olds wiggles out. We think it will take 3 days to get there. I'm thinking of having a stash of library books we've never seen before and we'll have an iPad for an occasional show.

What else would make this trip tolerable and even special?

Thanks for any recommendations!
posted by gillianr to Travel & Transportation (24 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
 
We never did anything this long, but we'd do twelve hour drives starting probably when my brother was about 2 and I was four. We started doing transatlantic flights at 4/6. We had toys that were only for road trips, so they were special and exciting. My family also relied heavily on audiobooks. In the car, I think we'd use the stereo, but on the plane, we'd each (me, my brother and my mom) have a waist pack with a walkman and the cassette tapes (taking the cases from the library was way too bulky). My guess is your three year old could manage an audiobook on the iPad or a cheap MP3 player (don't even need to know numbers to sort tapes; just have to restrain yourself from pressing buttons randomly) with headphones so you don't go insane.

My family relied heavily on McDonalds on road trips. It's partly that they sell tea, partly a weird hangup of my dad's, partly that their bathrooms are consistently clean and partly, I think, because they're familiar for kids and sometimes have play equipment. (Though honestly, I think road trips were the only time I really ate in a McDonalds growing up. We'd sometimes go through the drive thru.)
posted by hoyland at 10:12 AM on January 16 [3 favorites]


Just a thought, if you're not keen on an RV, what about renting a minivan instead? Is your goal to be able to sleep in the RV? The cost savings in gas and rental fees might be enough for 2 hotels on the road. Google says it's a 15 hour drive. You can split into 3 5-hour days with a stop halfway. That feels quite do-able in a car.

For the toddler, I'd create a bunch of activity packets in ziploc bags. About a half hour into each leg, give them a new packet. Movies on your phone will give you some quiet time too.

Music can be great. Either adult music that everyone can sing along to, or if you can handle it, then some kiddy music.

Keep them engaged by telling stories. Each person says a sentence or two, building on the previous story.

I've been watching Willow play something like this animal guessing game with their kiddo, and it's pretty adorable. If your kid knows some animals, this could be great. There may be other similar games with household objects, too.
posted by hydra77 at 10:28 AM on January 16 [6 favorites]


i'd be tempted to rent a comfortable car, drive from 4pm-midnight (in the hopes that they fall asleep in the car after dinner), crash in a hotel somewhere fun, spend the day enjoying it and then repeat.
posted by noloveforned at 10:57 AM on January 16 [2 favorites]


Best answer: Right before JT, Pioneertown. (Integratron not really for children, though there is a shop and outdoor area if need a quick stop.)
Hope you do plan on going through the national park too? Plenty of fun, kid-friendly spots to just play around without long hikes.
posted by eyeball at 11:07 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]


Best answer: Not RV specific but we pretty routinely drove 600 miles a few times a year from the time my kiddo was an infant up through 2019, in our regular minivan.

Car trip only toys are a must. Things we relied on from ages about 1 - 6 were: those "paint with water" kits, small baggies with a handful of pretending toys (little people, dollhouse people, that kind of things), busy books (the ones with buttons and pockets and things), duplo on a tray ... but also interactive games: ring the bell when you see something orange, that sort of thing. We also did audiobooks.

There was also one notable trip home when I was quite ill with kidney stones and our kid ended up watching the original winnie the pooh movie 13 times in a row ... and that was ok, too.

Sleep schedules may be off for the kiddos because of lots of napping. Time in car = time in napping.

This is fully a situation where the four year old is going to take their cues from you, so even if you're stressed or miserable, try to find the fun and adventure parts of it. We're driving in a house! Isn't that cool? We're in a new place! Look - that's a different tree than we have at home. Lets find that place on the map! Let's draw a line from where we were to where we are going! Where are we going next? One thing my kiddo loved at that age was looking at the online map and seeing the little dot moving on the highway and making the association between the icons on the map (and the numbers - the TIME) to what they were seeing out the window.

Also, pack the kids clothes by complete outfit (socks, underwear if applicable, shirt, pants, tights - the whole thing) in individual bags (we used ziplock bags but you can do any bags) -- it is SO MUCH EASIER to just be able to pull out a bag for the kid if you need an emergency change than to be digging around to find what we needed. Takes some prep but its so much less stress in the car, plus you have a sealed bag to put the gross clothes in after the change.

It can be tempting to trade food for good behavior ("If you're quiet for a few minutes and you'll get a snack" -- don't do that, it doesn't help anyone. Make a snacks and meals schedule for the toddler before you leave (maybe use a timer to help with time concepts) and then stick to it.

My kid says now (at 17) was that one crucial thing they learned on those trips was how to just sit and imagine. How to be bored. How to day dream. And those are all good skills to have.

I am really curious what led you to the RV choice, vs just driving and getting hotels. On one hand, you will be able to stop anywhere, at any time, and have a bathroom and keep things cold without a cooler and have cupboards and all that, which sounds really nice. I assume you'll be sleeping in the RV as well? That will be incredibly exciting for the toddler.

Overall, its clear you're nervous. Travel like that with an infant in never easy. BUT ALSO -- this is something people dream about being able to do. Its lovely time to spend together as a family. Take lots of photos (even of some of the grumpy parts) and make sure mom is in the pictures, too. Think about small souvenirs that you can get for the toddler to help them remember the trip. You're going to have an amazing time!
posted by anastasiav at 11:19 AM on January 16 [9 favorites]


we did a 15 hr road trip (split over two days) with my then 3 year old a couple summers ago and i was pleasantly surprised at how entertained he was by the music we played in the car and just looking out the window. I packed A LOT of emergency toys and water wow books but he spent more time looking out the window. We also got a lot of mileage out of listening to the Circle Round stories podcast while driving. I think the infant part might be more challenging than your older kid and I have no suggestions because my kid was not a good car baby when he was 4 -7 months old.
posted by ruhroh at 11:22 AM on January 16 [1 favorite]


My 4yo and 2yo are both very into the Opera For Kids (that they actually like) playlist. Maybe worth a try if you're getting tired of the usual fare of music for kids.
posted by andythebean at 11:40 AM on January 16


Best answer: Seconding some special just for the car toys. Some that we've had success with:
magnetic write and wipe board
huge sketchpad and limited number of crayons in a baggy stapled to the cover/pencil on string attached to the spiral binding
sticker books (this and the sketchpad may be best deployed when there is decent supervision or you may end up with everything/everyone covered in crayon or stickers)
special stuffed animal (a new car buddy!)
I spy bag/find it pouch
squish cube/creature like NeeDoh

Music and singing worked pretty well. Books were less interesting if someone wasn't reading them to my toddler. She also loved having someone tell her a story, but we couldn't do that non-stop.

For the breaks, while I haven't done anything that long, I break up longer car trips with a stop at a playground. I try to find something that isn't too far off the highway and pick out like two good options ahead of time so that if we're in a good groove and want to go a little further, we can. Parks are good, too, of course. Cemeteries also make surprisingly good spaces for kids to stretch their legs if you can't find somewhere else. I like playground/park better than rest stops since I've found that a fair number have nothing but parking lot and a strip of grass separating them from the highway--nothing to let a kid run around on. And visiting a new playground is always fun. You probably don't want/need to find a playground every 2-3 hours, but it might be a nice option for one or two of your stops each day.
posted by carrioncomfort at 11:54 AM on January 16


For breaks, I'd recommend getting the Roadside America app. As you're driving you can check what is actually nearby, or what has been deemed worth a reasonable detour, and they lean heavily on goofy roadside attractions that were dreamed up back in the days when people took long car trips regularly. Perfect for stretching your legs, giving the kids a diversion, restroom/changing diaper stops.
posted by queensissy at 12:18 PM on January 16 [2 favorites]


For the iPad: my son got carsick from watching while he was holding the tablet in his lap; putting it in a holder (mounted on the headrest, not sure how that would work in an RV) fixed that.
posted by demi-octopus at 12:42 PM on January 16


I triple not using an RV, unless you are dead-set against staying in hotels. We drove our regular 4 door car and then minivan with kids that small across I40, passing through Phoenix occasionally (depending on the year and hotel prices - Phoenix was often super cheap) and the only downsides were:

1) a car required backseat AC, again depending on the time of year. The desert is so hot in summer than front-seat alone passengers have to freeze for backseaters to be comfortable. actual backseat vents solves this. This is a major reason why low-priced cars suck compared to SUVs. You have to buy a 30k car to get a backseat vent, where almost every SUV has them, even ones that are bare-bones.

2) breast feeding. My wife had to do that with our young one. The other took formula. Sucked for her.
3) side of the road potty breaks. You can't control when an infant is going to have to go to the bathroom - our kid was often potty training so we took a tiny training potty. Pulling over on the side of the road was pretty harrowing.
4) we could only drive about 6 hours before they can't take it anymore. They can do 8-10 hours now that they are older.
5) like others have said, take advantage of their sleeping. For us, that meant leaving early, like 5:00am.
6) kids love hotels. A pool, cool places to explore, strange dogs, etc. That's the prize for driving so long.
7) Plus a normal car is easy to drive, cheap to fuel, and not at all scary to park.

Barstow has a McDonalds/multiple other chains/travel center in a train. My kids still like it. They loved train McDonalds as small children. You can eat in a stationary traincar.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:56 PM on January 16 [3 favorites]


We did a bunch of RV trips with our kids when they got a couple years older than yours, but one thing I think transfers is letting the older one have a sense of "ownership". Let them explore the RV, and ask them (leading) questions about things like "where do you think your car seat should be, place A or B"? "How should we organize your bed?", "what should we put in this cabinet"?

When they got slightly older, our kids were VERY into memories of the trip, even on the trip. We would take pictures on each day and then print them out at a walmart or cvs a few hours ahead of us. By the time we got there they would be ready, and going over the days's pictures in real tangible form (and cutting them up / pasting them into a journal along with ticket stubs and brochures) took another few hours easily.

If you need stuff for the RV (or cheap toys / books in bulk) go to a cheap thrift store (salvation army type) and just buy a bunch of books, toys, kitchen equipment, etc. It'll cost less than you think, and provide both A) lots of exciting newness and B) things you need and have forgotten or don't want to take from home. Just donate it all back to a different thrift store when you get back.

Also, don't assume you'll always have wifi or cell service. Download offline maps and get movies when you have good wifi. For camping overnight, KOA is pretty uniformely good - even a bad KOA is relatively nice, and good ones have all sorts of things to do.

For things on that route, or close to it:

Elmers bottle tree farm. RV camping at Joshua Tree itself. Quartszite AZ
posted by true at 1:01 PM on January 16 [2 favorites]


Just want to gently encourage you to have some optimism. Our family (several kids, aged 11 and under) did an RV roundtrip of a few days once and, while childhood memories are inevitably somewhat rosy, I recall our considering it an amazingly cool adventure. Remember, truck stops are new to your 3-year-old. Different kinds of potato chips! Eating in McDonald's! Being up relatively late! Different weather! Different trees! We're moving on a map! Hey--IT'S THE STATE LINE! Experiences like this--there weren't many, as we were economically unstable most of my childhood--cemented my lifetime weird fascination with airports/train stations/borders/truck stops.

I'm definitely not saying there won't be exhausting and stressful stretches, but this is a real opportunity for you to get to reexperience something banal to most adults through a kid's fresh eyes...if you don't kill the enthusiasm by keeping the temperature "grimly resigned."
posted by praemunire at 1:21 PM on January 16 [5 favorites]


We would take pictures on each day and then print them out at a walmart or cvs a few hours ahead of us.

They also have cameras now that will print out stickers of the images on the spot. Not the highest quality, but fit for this purpose, and you get the fun of a new toy.
posted by praemunire at 1:22 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]


Your 3 year old will love the RV and you 4 month old won't really care. Having your own private bathroom available and all your stuff readily accessible is great with kids.Most RVs this size have a little tub along with the shower making bathing kids much easier. Being able to bring your own food and having a fridge while on the road means less restaurants.
posted by jmsta at 2:12 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]


Best answer: A friend of mine who has full-timed with littles says a browser-based map (I agree with this part, I have a terrible time doing the "survey" sort of searching in the map apps because it's hard to see ratings and photos and pick between several) to find parks and playgrounds up ahead along your route when you know a break is coming up is your big fix for daytime stops. The 3yo will be mind-blown every single time, even if it's just municipal parks and the occasional McDonalds. They are not as impressed with national parks and fancy stops, it's all fancy to them really. Just get those ya-yas out at every stop and you'll get a good bit of quiet play and napping on the road.

I also use the Roadtrippers website/app to plan our long roadtrips, and you can just look along your route for stuff that's been aggregated from google, yelp, tripadvisor, and roadtrippers users. I think you get one trip for free, so you can try it out.

The giant truck stops are absolute gold and generally squeaky clean, easy in-and-out in a big rig and well lit. There's not, you probably know, anything earthshattering along the 99 but you do hit pretty regular stopping points between the giant orchards, and every hour or so there's a Big Country Store of some sort with lots of billboards - at least one of them occasionally has a donkey and a couple of goats you can pet, almost all of them have amazing jams, cheese (sometimes also ice cream), and the kind of candy you only find at The Country Store.

I agree these trips are what you make of them, and you don't have to pre-decide it'll be awful. Just be flexible, load yourself up with options for things to do and don't get attached to any one of them being so important the trip is ruined without it. Figure out what's working and do more of that.

This can be tough to book in California (though winter is best by far for openings), but you're going to be passing some AMAZING state park land, and a lot of people do not know that many state and regional parks along there have sweet full-hookup slots often for rigs up to 40' and they are so much more beautiful and often more private than the bare-ass slots at RV Campgrounds. Recreation.gov has the sites I'm thinking of.

This really can be fun, and doing it in an RV adds some complexities but removes others - no major ordeal loading in and out of hotel rooms, for example. Being able to pull in to any rest area, travel plaza, fast food parking lot and throw together a meal and feed your baby in relative peace. Hell, just being able to pull over and lay down - my friend and her partner tended to roll out early with the kids half-asleep in their seats, first stop for ya-yas and then breakfast in their seats back on the road, next stop for ya-yas and lunch and then more ya-yas while the primary driver at least had a lay-down, and from there no more than 2 more hours to the next overnight point. Kids stay in seats while the rig is being parked, leveled, and hooked up (do your relationship a favor and practice communicating back-ins and hookups beforehand, and get a pair of cheap walkie-talkies instead of depending on a phone), and then playtime and exploring before dinner.
posted by Lyn Never at 2:20 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]


Where are you going to camp? You should make reservations in advance, campgrounds sometimes fill up. Otherwise you may find yourself sleeping at Walmarts the whole time.

Who is going to drive? You absolutely cannot multitask in a RV. It really takes two people to drive safely -- the passenger checks mirrors, maps, devices, takes care of unsecured items, etc.

5 hours of driving a day is a lot for a RV. Plus you need daylight hours to make/break camp and dump tanks, and days are short in the winter. Take a week if you can.

Get fuel at every opportunity when you get past Bakersfield ... except for that one station who doubles their prices because you forgot to get fuel 3 hours ago.

Watch out for steep grades (but not as bad as the other mountain passes) weird weather and potholes along I-40.
posted by credulous at 2:30 PM on January 16


If you are set on an RV and not familiar with RVs make sure you familiarise yourself with water, dumping, what you can’t run in terms of electricity, how all the things work etc etc etc. If that sounds daunting reconsider the RV and drive your car or hire one and use hotels.
posted by koahiatamadl at 2:31 PM on January 16 [1 favorite]


This drawing game has been super helpful with travel, from Frida and Bear play the shape game by Anthony Browne and Hanne Bartholin

https://youtu.be/PCOu89Ta2Lc?feature=shared
posted by freethefeet at 2:54 PM on January 16


We recently did an RV trip with a 5 and 2 year old. We would not do it again for a few reasons.

1. The RV was much more wobbly than a normal car, and both kids got car sick and threw up. If your kids ever get motion sick, go heavy on the dramamine.
2. The RV went slower than a car, so all of our driving days took about twice as long as we planned, so take that into account.
3. Staying in the RV was fine, but we had to pack everything up and strap it down every morning before driving, which took time, especially with the kids.

If you have an option to just do drive and hotels, I would seriously consider it.
posted by oryelle at 7:13 PM on January 16


This may be a controversial but it worked like a charm when we did a cross country RV trip with an active, almost three year old. We had a chest harness for my son and we bought a cheap, extendable dog leash. We could clip it to his back, loop the other end around a camping chair or the table leg and then he could freely explore safely. We could set the length of the leash to whatever kept him out of the fire and safe, give him a “job” and he was happy and content while my anxiety of him falling into the stove was abated a little. This was a tip from our trip mates who were very experienced campers and it worked really well.
posted by pearlybob at 2:57 AM on January 17 [1 favorite]


Also Giant Rock in Landers
posted by eyeball at 3:59 AM on January 17


Background -- two adults who could drive the pickup and fifth-wheel, two children through teen years, and many summer trips in the South and Midwest.

Clean, safe and dependable bathrooms are golden. This is especially true when corralling toddlers. And sometimes it's dark-thirty in the morning, no restrooms are in sight, and you've eaten a bad burrito....
We used the shower a total of twice, but we had it if we needed it. Mainly the shower was an extra closet, convenient for wet shoes and bathing suits.
Preparing our own meals and having our own beds without loading/unloading everything was very helpful. It saved time, money and resources.

Cracker Barrel and Walmart often allow overnight parking. So do many truck stops.
The occasional RV park was nice, but we usually tried to find state and national parks.

The pickup meant that we were seatbelted in. Sometimes one of the girls sat in front. She then could be the navigator and keep the driver company.

The Bag of Boredom came out, with dollar store gizmos. The items were eventually traded back for newer toys and games.
The adult version of this was the bag of AAA maps and guidebooks with post-it notes and coupons.
posted by TrishaU at 1:41 PM on January 17


Response by poster: Thank you for all the wonderful responses. We just got back so I thought I'd send a quick update. Overall the trip was a success! We are certainly burnt out and off our regular schedule but we're glad we did this to visit family.

For our 2000 mile roundtrip we ultimately found that doing 250-300 miles a day was ideal with the littles. This meant about a 7-8 hour day in the RV given all the stops to stretch and / or nurse.

For the stops, no matter what we planned the day in advance it never worked out exactly right so instead we'd make a quick decision 10-20 minutes before we felt a stop coming and I would search for a playground, truck stop, or rest stop. Making these decisions on the fly worked best for us.

We got our 3 1/2 year old a set of noise limiting BLE headphones and ran the TV during transit. He's never watched so much in his life but it kept us all sane and he was thrilled. We'd break it up with other games and Guess in 10 by Skillmatics that was recommended here was a hit. Overall though we packed too many clothes and not enough new toys.

Harvest Hosts, Hipcamps, and KOA's all ended up being sleeping locations. Given my husband was driving we prioritized his sleep and he slept in the back on the bed while I was up front and awake multiple times a night with the kids. The best item here was a booklight for our 3 1/2 year old so we could read to him while the baby slept in the dark.

Not sure we'll do this again until the kids are older but it was an experiment worth trying. Thanks again folks!
posted by gillianr at 12:43 PM on February 5


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