Things that make you happier when you do them

January 5, 2024 7:43 PM

Looking for personal opinions about your experience rather than links to articles!

I've started using the Habitica app to motivate myself to do things that I know are good for me and it's really working! I'm doing the stuff and I feel better than I have in over a year.

I've added the obvious habits like getting outside, exercising/stretching, drinking water, cleaning the house, financial planning, volunteering and personal grooming stuff.

I'm trying to only include positive habits (though they can be an attempt at replacing a bad habit - like eating something healthy and filling). Is there anything that reliably helps your well-being that's not on this list?

posted by Eyelash to Health & Fitness (51 answers total)

Best answer: I don’t like making the bed, but I love getting into a made bed at night. (Sometimes if the morning’s too busy, I’ll make the bed right before I get in it.)

I also do a tidying walkthrough of the house every night before bed - not cleaning, but doing quick tasks like folding the sofa blanket, putting remotes in their basket, charging electronics, scooping litter, topping off the cats’ food. It makes the morning feel calmer, somehow.
posted by Sweetie Darling at 7:57 PM on January 5 [18 favorites]

Best answer: I've lately taken to arranging my food to improve the presentation. A little garnish sprinkled on the soup or neatly arranged vegetables do add to the experience, even if I'm just having a sandwich with a side of vegetables.
posted by SPrintF at 8:05 PM on January 5 [8 favorites]

Cold shower in the morning to get me going and a hot shower at night to slow me down.
posted by JohnnyGunn at 8:11 PM on January 5 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Brushing my dog's teeth every night. I'm absolutely religious about it. It makes me feel good about myself and he is 7 years old and still has clean teeth and fresh breath.
posted by HotToddy at 8:13 PM on January 5 [26 favorites]

I work some kind of puzzle a day. Logic, crossword, Wordle, etc.
posted by joycehealy at 8:25 PM on January 5 [7 favorites]

Response by poster: Not planning on thread-sitting, but I just have to say: HotToddy, that has to be the sweetest thing I've ever read on MetaFilter (and I have read a lot of MetaFilter). So glad your dog has such a caring owner!
posted by Eyelash at 8:33 PM on January 5 [23 favorites]

I listen to an audiobook while drawing.

I water the garden.
posted by Zumbador at 8:33 PM on January 5 [2 favorites]

Best answer: I struggle with lifelong depression and anxiety, most often manifesting in anhedonia aka an inability to feel joy. So if I don’t get that handled then doing all the stuff on your list keeps me alive but does not bring me happiness. To nip the anhedonia, I have figured out I have to engage in art regularly, and some things are more effective than others. I’ve talked to other people in my family with similar mental health challenges but less creative bents and they have told me about figuring the same thing out about learning of new scientific discoveries or theories, or spending time with kids, or singing in a choir. For me, it’s attending specifically live symphonic music performances, looking at sculptures, metalsmithery and handcrafted architecture in real space, and tasting creative and thoughtfully made seasonal foods. It has to be a full sensory spectrum, I guess. And a lot of the time making myself leave the house and access these things is so hard and just as awful as cleaning the house.

So maybe for your list you could add something like “figure out what opens you up to feeling enjoyment in the world” or if you already know what that is, “schedule weekly time for [activity]”.
posted by Mizu at 8:35 PM on January 5 [24 favorites]

A specific cleaning thing: I am consistently happier when I scrub and shine the kitchen sink at night. I think I learned this from Flylady 15 or 20 years ago, when I was going through a really severe depression episode. Even on the shittest of days, I could accomplish that one thing, stand back and look at it. I’m in a much better place now, but still do this most nights.
posted by third word on a random page at 8:52 PM on January 5 [11 favorites]

Creative practices: drawing, making music, writing. Not even anything I’d necessarily share but I find myself feeling looser and happier if I put some time into one or all of these.

Setting my coffee pot up the night before so it’s ready for me in the morning.

Cooking something that’s at least sort of involved from scratch. I don’t have energy for this all the time but it feels rewarding when I do!
posted by music for skeletons at 9:42 PM on January 5 [2 favorites]

My work week just feels like it's off to a good start if I spend time Monday morning napping out various projects and writing to-do lists for the. It feels so nice to look back on Friday and see how much I got done.

And ironing. I just love having ironed napkins in the drawer.
posted by brookeb at 9:52 PM on January 5 [6 favorites]

Reading fiction.
posted by bluedaisy at 10:17 PM on January 5 [12 favorites]

Best answer: Being social. I have to remember, every time I'm tempted to cancel a plan and stay home wrapped in a blanket instead, how nice and cozy it is to have friends and community and how I tend to be in a really good mood after spending time with people.

And I never need reminding on this, but I really love it when I see some neighborhood wildlife and stop whatever I'm doing to observe them. Looking at backyard deer with binoculars is such a delight, and if I can catch sight of an owl (or a turtle in the summer months) (or a snake?!) I want to linger with it as long as it'll allow me to. It's both a fascination in the pure sense that I want to know what they're doing!! And a reminder that we're part of something much bigger, etc. etc.
posted by knotty knots at 10:46 PM on January 5 [13 favorites]

Queue up two upbeat songs and just dance. Sounds stupid but the movement always makes me feel great, and especially if I have been sitting and the computer for too long.
posted by sonofsnark at 12:25 AM on January 6 [8 favorites]

Best answer: For me, it's crafting. I found that I feel better when I make time for this at least once a week.

Specifically for Habitica, I set this up as a daily for Sunday, to be checked off when I've spent a substantial amount of time on a crafting project either on that day or in the preceding week. That way, I'm free to do it whenever it suits me and the daily acts as a reminder, scheduled on a day that is likely to still have some room for it.
posted by demi-octopus at 2:34 AM on January 6 [3 favorites]

Best answer: One of my cats is particularly fond of being vigorously petted and scratched. At least twice a day, he lies down on my chest, and we do our little "snuggle time" for a few minutes. He purrs like a jet engine.
posted by akk2014 at 4:09 AM on January 6 [21 favorites]

I have been incorporating more exercising and stretching in smaller increments throughout my day, in addition to actual planned times for workouts. I add them to other mundane activities. I do wall sits while I brush my teeth. The goal is to hold the wall sit longer than the 2 minute timer on my electric toothbrush. It’s been surprising how much better I am at this just by doing it consistently. I do single leg calf raises while pumping gas. I put my legs up against the wall for 10 minutes before I go to bed and I love it. It’s now fully a part of my bed time routine.
posted by August Fury at 5:19 AM on January 6 [6 favorites]

Things where part of my satisfaction lies in maintaining a daily streak:

• Learning vocabulary or kanji
• Walking in the countryside with a camera
• Puzzles (Wordle and its many daily-puzzle friends).

Things that make me happier whenever I do them, where maintaining a streak doesn't provide any added motivation:

• Reading books
• Museum and gallery visits
• Exploring new places.

posted by ManyLeggedCreature at 5:43 AM on January 6 [3 favorites]

Camping in my minivan. Right now as I type this I'm also watching the sky change color over a lake and mountains.
posted by mareli at 6:05 AM on January 6 [8 favorites]

I am a little unclear on what you are looking for, what types of habits you are wanting to form – things that are good for you or things that you enjoy doing or having done.

One good-for-you habit I don’t think anyone has mentioned yet is flossing your teeth or using a water pik.
posted by NotLost at 6:06 AM on January 6 [2 favorites]

Going to bed and getting up about the same time every day.
posted by rhymedirective at 6:17 AM on January 6 [3 favorites]

The feeling of enjoying clean sheets (dried in the sunshine on the washing line) on the bed. They just feel cosy and good.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 6:49 AM on January 6 [3 favorites]

Listening to upbeat music that I like.

Eating tasty food.

Watching birds in the garden.
posted by chariot pulled by cassowaries at 6:51 AM on January 6 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: I am a little unclear on what you are looking for, what types of habits you are wanting to form – things that are good for you or things that you enjoy doing or having done.

Either! Things that you enjoy enough (that aren't blatantly unhealthy) that they improve your mood if you consistently make time for them or things you might not be super thrilled to do (like flossing) that make you feel better if you do them anyway.

I know that not everything that will significantly improve one person's mood will improve another's, but specifically looking for personal experiences to get a bigger variety of answers than just the stuff you can find in a search engine.
posted by Eyelash at 7:16 AM on January 6 [1 favorite]

Sitting down when I eat, even if it’s just a snack (though this isn’t so much a habit that can scheduled)

Making and drinking nice tea
posted by 2 cats in the yard at 7:18 AM on January 6 [2 favorites]

Hot chocolate is an easy treat for me.
posted by NotLost at 7:25 AM on January 6 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Walking in the woods, or anywhere wild and natural, refreshes me better than a cold drink on a hot day. You mentioned getting outside; for me the important part is nature: the environment needs to be fairly free from being shaped by humans. It frees my soul.
posted by anadem at 7:41 AM on January 6 [9 favorites]

Best answer: Standing still and silent for a few minutes, somewhere outside where I can see some combination of plants / trees / sky / sea / weather, just watching and listening. It's different from the happiness of heading out to deliberately be in / seek out nature, more like taking a moment to try to tune in to my current wherever.
posted by protorp at 7:43 AM on January 6 [5 favorites]

Best answer: I keep a list of basic things titled 'You Feel Good When You:" and will visit it when I notice im struggling. My list includes the following items and a few more: meditate, read books you like, avoid alcohol, work out, walk the dog, write, know your schedule / have a well understood planner, fully engage with your kids, draw, aren't on your phone, stretch your body, share household labor, ride your bike, get rid of things, take time to connect with friends and drink lots of water.
posted by sewellcm at 7:53 AM on January 6 [16 favorites]

swimming--I always feel better afterwards.
posted by Morpeth at 9:32 AM on January 6 [10 favorites]

I get to work early, take a walk and take photos. I do happen to work in a public garden so it is easy to find beautiful things.
posted by sciencegeek at 11:23 AM on January 6 [2 favorites]

I've been thinking about this topic recently for myself more in terms of nervous system regulation, and here are a few I came up with:
- meditation
- biking (alone on my MTB or with another/group on a road/bike path)
- boogie boarding in great waves
- walk while listening to podcasts or talking with a friend
- writing a letter
- hanging out with a friend who I can be myself around and I can joke a lot with
- yoga
- playing games with others who are equally engaged and pleasantly competitive
posted by chiefthe at 12:12 PM on January 6 [3 favorites]

Best answer: When I get out of the car at night, I look at the sky. Sometimes it's clear and I can see stars, moon, maybe there are beautiful clouds. I'm the daytime i look at my pleasant view, there might be ducks, the pine trees are always worth admiring.

I dance with a recreational group; music + dance = happiness.

Sometimes, outside with the dog, I get on1 knee and open my arms, she runs at me with so much delight.
posted by theora55 at 12:28 PM on January 6 [5 favorites]

Reading fiction.

Same. Specifically, I read fiction from a physical (paper) book every night right before bed, for at least 30 minutes. Nothing's better for gently disengaging my brain from the whirl of its usual mental activity.

Another pleasing daily thing I do: Eat 2 squares of Ghirardelli 72% cacao dark chocolate. I specifically eat that brand because it was one of the few found not to contain unsafe levels of heavy metals in a recent analysis. Chocolate contains all sorts of healthful nutrients.
posted by Artifice_Eternity at 1:21 PM on January 6 [2 favorites]

Best answer: If you have the space and live in a conducive climate, reading/dozing in a hammock can be quite enjoyable.

I play tennis recreationally in a doubles league and it's really fun to be moderately good at something in a non-competitive setting where we can celebrate the good shots and laugh at the bad ones.

A text telling a friend how much I value them/their friendship can be a double-boost.
posted by Twicketface at 1:52 PM on January 6 [1 favorite]

Soaking in a bath. Sometimes I add Epsom salts, candle or essential oil for good smells, relaxing music, low lighting.

Evening routine - tidy up, usually wash any outstanding dishes, turn on the tap for the cat to get her sink drink while I scoop the litter box, then my nightly grooming stuff. The important thing is that you like it, not really what it is.

Morning pages (three pages of writing whatever, longhand, daily). I’m regularly surprised what I shake loose. I keep my to-do list handy for catching things as I write about them. I learn a lot about what other things I enjoy by doing this, actually!
posted by momus_window at 3:59 PM on January 6 [1 favorite]

Washing sheets and towels (and the dish towel!) weekly. 5-10 minute once over of the house before bed, including washing all the dishes. I also typically put the clean dishes away while my coffee is brewing in the morning. Putting my keys, sunglasses, etc in their designated place by the front door when I get home. Disposing of mail/miscellaneous papers at least weekly.

Oh and I like to take my trash/recycling out as a button to the work week on Friday. I have to walk a little ways to my complex’s dumpster and it serves as a mental transition into the weekend.
posted by justjess at 5:18 PM on January 6 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Playing with my cats while I brush my teeth in the morning and at night -- one hand for toothbrush, one hand for wand-toy. Makes me laugh every day.

Reading the comics in the newspaper. It's not important whether they're funny.

Planning new meals to cook for my friends, usually with some new ingredient or technique I haven't tried before.
posted by egeanin at 7:34 PM on January 6 [3 favorites]

We keep our house temps low to save a little bit and it works overall but hot damn if I don’t notice in the winter that I’m starting to get really crabby and then realize I just need to turn up the heat to something more reasonable (if my socks and sweater aren’t cutting it)
posted by raccoon409 at 8:11 PM on January 6 [2 favorites]

I invested in a solidly reviewed mid-tier set of noise cancelling over-ear headphones, and every evening set aside 45 minutes to an hour to sit or lie down and do nothing but really listen to music, whether it's an album I love or something I want to explore. I'm trying to do this every day. It feels like it combines meditation and education for me (for the week I've done it so far) and I always end up feeling somehow both relaxed and energized.
posted by Shepherd at 7:56 AM on January 7 [4 favorites]

Response by poster: I got so much inspiration from all of these answers. I've marked a few that I took something from that I'll use right away, but it's so nice to have such a variety of thoughtful perspectives on this subject, thank you everyone!
posted by Eyelash at 3:46 PM on January 7 [3 favorites]

I do improv. I fall over laughing sometimes when I'm playing with my troupe.

And today I went bowling for what is basically my first time. So there's always that - trying something for the first time.

At bedtime I put on an audiobook and it's just like childhood, having a story read to me while I go to sleep.
posted by storybored at 10:24 PM on January 7 [1 favorite]

Guerilla gardening really does it for me. Neglected public spaces in my local neighbourhood, covered in weeds and litter, for years used to depress me when I walk past. "Somebody ought to do something..." Gradually I have gotten into the habit of pulling weeds, litter-picking, and planting / sowing low-maintenance flowers and such, and now, every time I walk past those places, there's something that gives me happiness and something to look forward to.

It started with really easy things, like just sprinkling poppy seeds, but over time I got drawn in. Now I don't mind spending an hour on my knees with my hands in the soil. (Good gardening gloves are essential.)

Having a bird feeder in your garden or somewhere you often look is also great. I just find it calming and endlessly interesting to look at them. It's also nice to learn the names of birds and recognise their calls and so on.

A few years ago I discovered Letterboxd and it's the only daily digital habit that I can confidently say makes me happy. It works for me because I like movies a lot and I like record-keeping and making lists. Friend people with tastes similar to yours and you'll have a constant supply of interesting recommendations and reviews.
posted by snarfois at 3:13 AM on January 8 [7 favorites]

Cooking, bathing, exercising, and gardening have all been big helps, but my musical practice saved me.

Personally, the act of practicing and developing (some small amount of) mastery over an instrument returned to me a sense of control I thought I had lost, but the practice goes so far beyond the personal. Finding communities of other musicians-- specifically those oriented toward community practice* rather than performance-- set me up with a multi-generational group of friends that make my heart swell when I think of them. Growing old with these folks is something I look forward to; before, I was ambivalent about growing at all.

*Examples include shape note singing, old-time and other trad music, and social dance.
posted by Richard Saunders at 9:09 AM on January 8 [2 favorites]

I don't have the energy or the focus to become a full-on birder, but I do try to notice birds. We have a holly hedge next between our front walk and our neighbor's yard, and it's in a mast year, so the sparrows have been extra numerous and very round. There's also a resident mockingbird that I think actually has a nest within the hedge, and so many mourning doves.

I also pay attention to the moon. It's somehow comforting to know that every sighted person in the history of the human race has had the same moon to look at.
posted by fedward at 10:16 AM on January 8 [5 favorites]

Other people have already listed a lot of things that are important and helpful to me -- I like to sit outside and watch the birds in warm weather if it's not too hot, I like crafting, I like certain types of reading -- I need to be learning something.

But one thing that is important and helpful and regularly makes the difference between happiness and misery is making sure I sit near a window with the blinds up as far as possible for as much of the day as possible on winter days. Sometimes I need to stare directly out the window at the sky for a few minutes at a time. I live really near Lake Erie; the sun can be pretty elusive in the winter months.

I also take Ashwagandha and it seems to make a difference.

The other stuff is fun stuff, fun activities, but because I like cozy nesting environments with warm lighting, it's pretty easy for me to fail to get much sunlight in winter at all.
posted by verbminx at 4:38 PM on January 8 [1 favorite]

The New Yorker's weekday crosswords always provide an enjoyable little break for me. There's something there for every level of difficulty, including both cryptic and non-cryptic puzzles.
posted by Paul Slade at 4:57 AM on January 9 [3 favorites]

Every morning I feed the crows. The same flock flutters down from the trees at the same time each day. I don't give them too much, just enough to help them start their day (bottled peanuts, sometimes cubes of cheese--which they love). Birds live in the present and they help me remember to do the same.
posted by BetsyJ at 8:59 AM on January 9 [2 favorites]

Writing down 1 or 2 good things about the day at bedtime.
posted by gottabefunky at 10:20 AM on January 9 [4 favorites]

Sending out invoices.
posted by Wild_Eep at 6:20 AM on January 10 [1 favorite]

Mod note: Hey, thanks for asking this and to everyone who has answered! We added this bright spot in the world to the sidebar and Best Of blog!
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 7:59 AM on October 31 [4 favorites]