Help me think of enriching new experiences to break out of a rut

January 3, 2024 12:03 PM

I'm hitting that age where my life is stable and I'm grateful. But it's very much same-same, and every week is blending into the next without a lot of NEW experiences. What can I do to shake things up?

I've been reflecting on these past few years, and I feel like so stuck in routines and obligations. Someone asked me to reflect on any new experience from the past year and I drew a complete blank--basically couldn't think of a single thing to share. So I'm making myself a list of things to try, places to go, new experiences for the year. So far, I have a few museums, a few art classes, but am drawing a bit of a blank beyond that. What kind of new experiences can I add to my list? For example, a few years ago I tried paddle boarding with a friend. It could be big or small. I'm open to all suggestions!

posted by hellochula to Grab Bag (12 answers total)

Best answer: Museums and art classes: cool, but do it more.

Best thing for me is to get a membership or become a subscriber to a thing. Then I need to go more often to make it worth my money.

Symphony? I'm a subscriber. I select seats at however many performances that is in a season, and then just start going. I'll see music I already know and like, and I'll also see music I've never even heard of before, and get exposed to something new as well.

Same thing with museums. With a membership I can pop in any time, even for just 20 minutes, and not have to make a whole day of it. Last time I was at the Art Institute I popped in for a little while to kill time and just purposely wandered until I saw something I liked. Spent the next ten minutes with this absolute freak without worrying that I was missing something "better" in the next room.

At least for me, it's not just that I'm doing the thing, it's that I'm doing it often that makes the experience enriching.
posted by phunniemee at 12:26 PM on January 3 [8 favorites]

Best answer: I sort of have a similar resolution this year, though I'm approaching it a bit differently, and setting the bar for "enriching new experiences" in a way that will (hopefully) be easier than trying to a bunch of new experiences. But my goal - to shake things up/ get out of a rut - is very much the same as you, so perhaps this will be helpful.

Basically, I'm picking different pastimes/activities I know I like and are good for me mentally or physically, and dedicating myself to making sure these are weekly practices to varying degrees. I realize this may not seem like a novelty, but in my experience really honing in on a few things does result in new experiences.

For example, one of my practices I've chosen is visual art, something I dropped in early adulthood. Art is infinite in possibilities - you can try out new styles, techniques, mediums, subject matter, etc.

Another practice I've chosen: being more serious about cooking - again, so many different techniques to master (or at least do moderately well!), cuisines, etc.

Anyway, you get the idea - a list of new experiences is great, totally do that, but also consider what practices you might find novelty in through honing in on them.
posted by coffeecat at 12:27 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Last April my wife and I took this Beginners Sword Fighting class that was being offered near us by a local HEMA school. We both liked it but I enjoyed it enough to go back the next week for my first regular class (first one is free) and really got into it (I now own a sword).

While the activity it self is fun it also majorly changed up my/our routine. I go to classes outside the house 3 times a week and they have monthly social events (movie nights, game nights, pot luck dinners) that we both attend as well as club events that my wife helps out with if I am busy taking part (practice tournaments and the like)

So while learning 15th century sword fighting might not be for you per-say (though it is a lot of fun) finding some activity with a good community behind it can be valuable for more than just that one off experience.
posted by Captain_Science at 12:29 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]

Take up a hobby like knitting/quilting/crochet. You can teach yourself through a million YouTube videos, and if you get into it, there are entire communities around these crafts that you can find your way into.
posted by archimago at 12:31 PM on January 3

Best answer: At home (cheap): cooking, Udemy/Coursera courses for ANYTHING (drawing? new language? tarot?), reading novels from around the world (or watching international films), growing bonsai (or orchids, or tomatoes), training for a marathon, hosting dinner parties.

Probably available in your neighborhood (might require some funds): exploring different cuisines through restaurants, plumbing /woodworking/etc. class at a local community college, volunteering (food bank? teaching English to immigrants or Math to adults studying for GED?, picking up trash in a local park?), geocaching.

Further afield (potentially expensive) - travel.

Decadent (by which I mean - encourages consumerism, which may not be everyone's style) - subscription boxes. There are hot sauces, makeup, snacks, underwear, Kiwi boxes ...

The last two categories provide one with something to look forward to, which, at least for me, is important in fighting off ennui.
posted by Dotty at 1:29 PM on January 3 [1 favorite]

I mean, travel is really the answer. Anything from budget-friendly day trips to do a new hike go to some offbeat roadside attraction up to multi-week/multi-location journeys and anything in between. I've lived in Brooklyn for 14 years and even tho I feel like there's a wealth of stuff to do in the city, I sometimes find myself bored and just take off (I have a car) to some random town upstate or in Long Island or something that I've never been to just to see what I can get into.
posted by greta simone at 1:33 PM on January 3 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Fairly cheap: every week, pick a neighborhood, go there, park if necessary, and explore on foot, noticing things. It can be a commercial or residential neighborhood; probably nice if you pick a place with a lunch or dinner option, depending upon when you go. If you wish, take a friend with you - it can be the same one each time, or a different one each time, the important thing is to vary the neighborhoods. If you go in the evening and feel ok doing it, pick a random place with live music and go in for a while. Be sure to talk to the locals, at the very least exchange pleasantries but ask questions if you feel like it (first ask "may I ask you a question? I'm new to this neighborhood " or something similar, it helps make folks open up a bit).

This will not only be different every week, it will also make you more familiar with the town/city and its different neighborhoods, which is almost always a good thing. You may also learn some commuting shortcuts, or places you want to recommend to eat or drink that aren't in your usual circle. Maybe you'll see cool street art or discover a different sort of museum. In any case, treat it as an adventure and go for it!
posted by TimHare at 3:31 PM on January 3 [6 favorites]

Best answer: I think if you focus on things you're a bit nervous to try, they will probably make a bigger impact when you do them. I went to Chicago recently and decided that I wanted to learn how to use the L while I was there (spatial directions are NOT my strong point). I made some mistakes, but it was fine and now I feel more confident about my ability to get around next time I go there, which is a really good feeling. Is there anything that comes to mind as something you'd do if you weren't afraid of failure?
posted by Eyelash at 6:49 PM on January 3 [4 favorites]

Best answer: Grow something. If you have a yard, you could plant some flowers or vegetables. If you don't, maybe you could grow herbs or sprouts in a window or under lights.

Exercise. Join a gym or start running or pick a simple exercise like push-ups and see how many reps you can work up to. You could buy a pull-up bar or some small weights.

Start paying attention to the natural world. Even if you live in a city, there are birds and plants around you. Can you identify any of them? You could get some field guides and start learning. A simple thing you can do that requires minimal effort is download the free Merlin app, go to a park where you can hear birds making noises, start up the app and let it tell you what species it hears. (This will work better in spring once birds are singing more.)

Read a non-fiction book on a topic you know very little about. Read a fiction book from a genre you're not usually interested in. Read a classic you've heard about all your life but never read.

Other things you could try: bowling, skiing, rollerblading, ice skating, biking, axe throwing, indoor skydiving, golf, swimming.
posted by Redstart at 9:06 PM on January 3 [2 favorites]

I mean, what do YOU want to do? What do you have the budget and the time for? When you start thinking about how same-same-same your days are, what exactly is in that vision of an interesting and exciting life, in your mind? Whom do you envy??

If there isn't any specific vision, and in fact you're living the life you've always wanted to live, and you can't quite put your finger on what needs to be different, and the people you envy turn out to be mostly young people who have options and possibilities and potential ahead of them that you can't have at this stage of your life, then you might be going through a midlife crisis. (Even if you aren't in midlife, technically, age-wise.) If that's the case I'd prescribe a healthy dose of existentialism and philosophical/spiritual soul searching to find a sense of meaning and purpose for yourself in this stage of life. That's a whole other question than "what new hobbies should you get".

But... interestingly enough ... a new PHYSICAL pursuit, such as taking a yoga class if you've never done it before, joining the gym for the first time, setting yourself a goal of running a marathon, or heck, even having a purely physical (i.e. sexual) fling with someone, will solve both types of problems. One reliable way to crack the mind is through your body.
posted by MiraK at 4:15 AM on January 4

Be careful with your choice. I had a feeling like that and after trying to change my duties at work, I became an addict of crack cocaine for 3 years. It changed my life, all right.

I think of the Lily Tomlin line: "I always wanted to be somebody but now I wish I'd been more specific."
posted by tmdonahue at 5:34 AM on January 4 [3 favorites]

If you are not anti-sports, going to a minor league game of a sport you are not usually into can be a real trip, because minor league sports can be very endearing and/or a lot of zany chaos. I am a major league baseball fan, but I recently went to a minor league hockey game with a pretty rowdy crowd and it was way fun and incredibly memorable.
posted by mostly vowels at 6:26 PM on January 10