How to overcome inertia?

December 21, 2023 3:05 PM

Unless I'm completely "in the zone" and absorbed in what I'm doing, I hate moving. I'm constantly taking shortcuts that leave me prone to injury, spilling things, and damaging objects because the short, simple motion it would take to do it the safe way just feels like too much.

Taking the extra second to use tongs instead of fingers to handle hot food, grab a funnel instead of free-pouring something treacherous, or hang up my coat feels so arduous. It's like I have a toddler inside me screaming "noooo! do we REALLY have to do this???😭"

Dealing with the aftermath of an accident somehow doesn't bother me, because now it has to be done. You can't not deal with a burn or clean up a spill, so I shrug and get on with it... but something about expending extra effort that I could avoid is rage inducing.

I don't care to speculate about why I'm like this. I just want to hear how you got over it.

posted by wheatlets to Human Relations (31 answers total)

I have always been like this. Doing minor physical tasks methodically, "the proper way" is rage-inducing. Recently I have started wondering if it is an ADHD thing? Is that something you've considered?
posted by Klipspringer at 3:08 PM on December 21, 2023 [10 favorites]

You're worth not hurting yourself.

You're not immune to the pain or scars of these shortcuts, so you're worth protecting from them.
posted by k3ninho at 3:21 PM on December 21, 2023 [5 favorites]

nthing have you been evaluated for ADHD? The thing that has helped me the most with overcoming inertia is getting on the right ADHD medication (which in my case is non-stimulant).

But, another thing that has helped is setting up my home so that it's as easy as possible to do things the smart and safe way. Which means, among other things...

- organizing so that things are right next to their point of use, e.g. the tongs and funnel are within arm's reach of wherever I usually need them -- sometimes this means even having multiple versions of things

- using storage solutions that look reasonably put-together but are less work, like maybe a coat rack instead of a closet

- in some cases, switching to other tools or techniques that feel more natural to me

It's a struggle and I feel you!
posted by mekily at 3:23 PM on December 21, 2023 [18 favorites]

"Current me, save your future self hassle. You won't have to beat your future self up for making mistakes. An extra few seconds now is saving you several minutes of your life."
posted by MonkeyToes at 3:25 PM on December 21, 2023 [4 favorites]

I like to plan little routes or challenges in my head to motivate me to get up and do the thing properly. For example, if I need a screwdriver, but it's all the way in the basement, I could:

A) ignore the fact that I need a screwdriver and continue trying to use my keys to unscrew the thing, or

B) make a challenge for myself like, "can you run to the basement, find a screwdriver, move the laundry to the dryer, and eat a handful of walnuts in the kitchen in less than one minute? I don't think you caaaaan!"

I resent self-interrupting what I'm doing less, if I can combine it with other tasks and/or think of it as a race. Maybe it's not a strategy that works for everyone but it works for me.
posted by daisystomper at 3:33 PM on December 21, 2023 [6 favorites]

Similar to MonkeyToes, I literally talk and think about Future!Debet as though she's a whole other person (who I like and care about). Sometimes it's with pouting and stomping feet, but I will do things for her. And then I also sometimes thank Past!Debet for doing a thing, which gives me a little hit of good feelings on both ends.
posted by DebetEsse at 3:34 PM on December 21, 2023 [13 favorites]

Love "future wheatlets" - noone else cares about future wheatlets as much as you can.
posted by amtho at 3:52 PM on December 21, 2023 [2 favorites]

Task initiation difficulties can be a thing. I have also brought myself to do these (boring, time-consuming, safety-minded) tasks by pretending that there's some urgency. MY GOD, MONKEYTOES, YOU MUST DO THIS THING NOW, BEFORE IT EXPLODES! SAVE THIS COAT FROM CAT PEE BY PUTTING IT ON A HOOK! Fooling my brain into some sense of emergency sometimes does the trick.
posted by MonkeyToes at 4:48 PM on December 21, 2023 [4 favorites]

I have this problem, and also a diagnosis of ADHD. One thing that helps a bit is to narrate things aloud - "I am going to hang up my coat now rather than throwing it on the floor". The "be kind to one's future self" also helps sometimes.
posted by paduasoy at 4:52 PM on December 21, 2023 [4 favorites]

As does pretending I'm on a quest of some sort, and that involves getting up to do this specific thing, or doing it with the right equipment. Save the world by putting the cat food sachet in the bin, as I am walking past from the one to the other and it takes more head space to think about it and not do it than to do it. Not solved this, but these things help.
posted by paduasoy at 4:56 PM on December 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Yeah, that's an ADHD thing. I hate to admit it but for me the only thing that works is willpower, just plain old forcing myself to do it.
posted by The corpse in the library at 4:56 PM on December 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

I have become slightly less this way through buying things. I have so many baskets and hooks and sets of tongs and potholders and coasters and special racks for draping clothes on, carefully chosen to be ones I really actively especially like and placed in my way everywhere. It helps. I am still not not this way, but... less so.
posted by redfoxtail at 4:59 PM on December 21, 2023 [4 favorites]

This is embarrassing but the thing that has helped the most is marrying and living with someone who is the opposite of this, and who is really annoyed with my shortcuts.

Now that I'm mostly not like this, I realize it's all about habits. If you hang your coat every day, it becomes more difficult NOT to hang it.

Two other things that help: the thought "how you do one thing is how you do everything" is somehow a motivator for me when I'm about to do something lazy. And simply having awareness in those moments and thinking about a way to make it easier to do it the right way next time, whether that means buying something (a coat hook) or getting rid of something (10 other coats in the way).
posted by beyond_pink at 5:22 PM on December 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

I'm team make-it-easy-to-do-the-right thing. Spatulas and cooking chopsticks are in a thing on the counter next to the stove so it takes 5 seconds or less to grab to flip something. I own many more (matching) hangers than I actually need so that there are unused hangers in every closet so I can hang up my coats and other items without hunting for a hanger. There is a bench in my entryway with shelves for storing shoes and a bin of umbrellas and a shoe horn so it's easy to put things on/take them off without damaging them and so I stand some chance of taking an umbrella with me when it might rain but is not yet raining. Sometimes the shoes even accidentally end up under the bench where they belong! It's a win-win!

As an aside my parents' house is absolutely not like this at all because everything they have is "good enough" and "it's wasteful to buy more we got this one for free" and "it's been that way for 20 years why would you change it" and "what if we move again it's not worth getting something that only makes sense in this space" and I absolutely hate cooking in their space because it is SO HARD to cook well when the bowl you need is 15 feet away and there are no clean dishtowels and no one has any idea where the can opener is and the spout on the olive oil drips everywhere and everything takes five times longer because it's messy and far away. So I avoid cooking in their kitchen which makes me feel bad, and when I do I do a bad job of cleaning up after myself which makes more work for my mom which creates a cycle of guilt that does not end well for me. And I am not a person who identifies as having ADHD/any executive function disorder. Design your life to be easy if you can!
posted by A Blue Moon at 5:32 PM on December 21, 2023 [8 favorites]

Sometimes I think in moments like this 'remember, safety third!'

And how hilarious or sobering that thought is helps inform my actions.
posted by SaltySalticid at 6:10 PM on December 21, 2023 [4 favorites]

One big barrier for me is that doing things the 'right' way takes sooooo loooong, and it feels like tasks should be faster than that. Like, making soup in the microwave for lunch should obviously only take two minutes. But if you get the can opener and open the can all the way, then use a butter knife to fish the sharp can top out, then pour the can into the bowl over the sink so as to negate spills, then put a paper towel over the bowl to avoid splatters, then rinse out the can, ect etc, the whole operation takes TEN MINUTES and I cannot believe it takes me so long and it feels maddening. One thing that helps is thinking of old times folks without electronics who (I assume) thought nothing of spending an hour on lunch and would have found the tem minute version miraculously fast. I try to pretend to be in a a medieval peasant mindset, basically. Alternatively, I think about the eventual inevitable heat death of the universe and how humanity itself is in a life-long, doomed but nonetheless noble fight against entropy itself. Getting the can opener and then putting it away again is, like, doing my little part for the battalion and the cause. Get ye back, chaos!!! Anyway, for some reason these mental melodramas help.
posted by Ausamor at 6:59 PM on December 21, 2023 [13 favorites]

“Mental melodrama” is perfect, Ausamor! Thank you! (I am going to start using “mini mental melodrama” for my own version.)
posted by MonkeyToes at 7:57 PM on December 21, 2023

Honestly meds (in my case Vyvanse) are the only thing that consistently helps.
posted by augustimagination at 8:33 PM on December 21, 2023 [3 favorites]

Too close to bedtime to find citations right now, but there is some research to the effect that ADHD meds (Vyvanse in my case too) are the only thing that consistently help anybody with this issue, and -- once the doc figures out your best molecule, dose, and delivery system -- they help *spectacularly*.
posted by cnidaria at 8:58 PM on December 21, 2023

Oh, and I definitely have a variety of organizational systems that make life easier -- but the meds are what allow me and my interest-based nervous system (which would be uninterested and alternating seeking exciting stimulation or lazy vegetation time if left to its own devices) to effectively and consistently use these wonderful systems with ease. Without meds, boredom is almost physically painful, I spend all my energy on forcing myself to do the annoying stuff, and the results are inconsistent. With meds I can just *do the thing*. I can't overstate how great this is or how much energy I get back for stuff that actually matters.
posted by cnidaria at 9:40 PM on December 21, 2023 [1 favorite]

Nthing that it might be a neurodivergence thing, I'm autistic and have definitely felt this way in the past. I'm also hypermobile and struggle with proprioception and figuring out the most efficient ways to move my body (usually the way that seems 'most obvious' to my brain to complete a movement is not actually the most efficient in terms of conservation of movement) in case any of that resonates.

A big thing that's helped for me is strength training and getting on top of anaemia after several years of low energy. Now that I actually have enough energy and my body is stronger, everyday movement no longer feels so much like a huge 'do we haaaaave to' drag. I realise that strength training involves moving more, the paradox sucks, but personally it's been so worth it.
posted by terretu at 3:02 AM on December 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

IT ME!!!! as the kids say. Upon reflection, I have sort of a tiered strategy based on levels of resistance to the chore. Some mentioned above.

- Reframe completion of the chore as a gift to my future self, acknowledged later with "Thanks, past self!" Works surprisingly often.
- Actively acknowledge my brilliance every time I use a "hack"(extra Command hooks on the closet door, scissors in every single room, OXO silicone ice scoop which makes getting ice from the bin so much less daunting (why why why but YAY every time!))
- Awareness of when I am mentally making the chore more awful and holler, quoting Cher in Moonstruck, "SNAP OUT OF IT!" (1987)
- Praising myself with a little "Woo!" every time I successfully accomplish a chore I could have avoided/delayed/done badly
- Get extra-really annoyed about something else which pushes the chore down from a Major Thing to a Minor Thing and I go do the chore while focusing my mental mess on something else
- In desperate times, yell out "NOT TODAY SATAN" and physically propel myself off the couch. Don't overuse this one or it loses its impact.

... and also ADD meds which DO help snowplow the mental noise out of my way, but do not 100% solve my inertia. YMMV.
posted by nkknkk at 5:10 AM on December 22, 2023 [4 favorites]

Thinking more about the moving aspect: do you carry a pedometer? I put an old-school step counter in my pocket every day, and it has changed my attitude towards being in motion. Everyone else forgot to get the mail? More steps for meeeee! Building in that extra tolerance (cheap thrill of seeing the number go up) has made a difference in those moments when I need to decide about making extra effort. It’s like building a habit around problem A (get more steps!) lets me approach problem B (being annoyed at extra work) sideways.
posted by MonkeyToes at 5:49 AM on December 22, 2023

We moved from a single-story house to a two-story with a basement and it became maddening to want to do something on one story and remember that the thing I need to do it is on a different floor. Or even two different floors. Or on the same floor but at the other end of the house.

We now have a complete set of cleaning supplies on every floor, a tool cache, etc. On the main floor there is even a small screwdriver set, scissors, and a Leatherman-type multi tool stashed in multiple rooms. (The remaining challenge is to put them all back where they belong after using them.)

So, long advice short, if you find yourself needing something that's not near where you need it, that makes a case for either moving it to where you use it most, or having multiple of that thing so there's always one not too far away.

This applies even to short distances... if you need tongs while cooking but are not using them they're in a drawer behind you, get a little canister and put them next to the stove!

I'm loath to suggest that the answer to the problem of not being able to use your stuff is buying more stuff, but it has worked for us.
posted by kindall at 6:07 AM on December 22, 2023 [5 favorites]

Mod note: A few comments and responses removed. Let's move from trying to diagnose the OP, which they requested people avoid, and keep responses to solutions that helped people in this situation.
posted by Brandon Blatcher (staff) at 6:38 AM on December 22, 2023 [1 favorite]

scissors in every single room
Yes. My mother and I both have ADHD or something similarly life-ruining. My entire childhood we had one (1) hairbrush in the house. It was pink with pre-1980s wimpy fake-boar bristles. Emphatically not the thick plastic bristles with the balls on the end that can actually get through fine but copiously growing tangle-prone hair of the type I sport upon my skull. My entire childhood was this conversation: "We need to brush your hair before [school or whatever]. Where is the pink brush? Where is the pink brush? [Repeat fivethousand times while racing around the house throwing things in the air]. We're late! We just had the hairbrush yesterday! Where's the brush, where's the brush, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa"

Plus on the occasions we did locate the thing, it would be a screeching struggle to get my hair brushed with it because it was not designed for my hair. It was all this huge goddamn drama to the point where 50+ years later my dying goddamn father in his last year complimented me on a recent haircut and followed that up with a complaint about my long hair and how I wouldn't allow it to be cut. At the age of, whatever, four. When I had no agency and no power over any of this. They could have: Given me a short, easy-care haircut they could use a comb on. Bought more shitty 70s hairbrushes so at least there wouldn't be the brush-search part of the minidrama. Gone to a salon and said, "look, this POS pink thing doesn't get through my daughter's hair in under 20 minutes of shrieking drama; is there another solution you've found in your umpty years of cutting and styling women's hair here at the Curl Up 'n' Dye?" They did none of these things. They both indulged me in and blamed me for my 4-year-old desire for long hair like my aunt's. I also wanted fire engine red high heeled shoes and a formal floor-length dress to match. This, they understood, was a childish desire that they did not have to fulfill. Why they thought I needed to have the Cher hair I wanted I have no idea.

When I had my own money, I bought hairbrushes that could get through my hair. I still had the insane "one hairbrush per household" notion for years. I don't know when I realized there is no rationing system for hairbrushes, but at some point I did figure that out and now I have one in the bathroom, one in the bedside table, one in the car, one in the work bag, one in my desk drawer at work, one in the general travel kit, and one in the beach kit. No more "where's the hairbrush" for me.
posted by Don Pepino at 7:28 AM on December 22, 2023 [11 favorites]

I am on team “make it easier.” Putting things where I actually need them, and having multiples so I don’t have to go as far or scrounge around, has literally been life changing. Part of this is also making sure every item has a home, and that it consistently gets returned there, which I accomplished by building a regular puttering practice.

I am also on team “make it fun/cute.” I have been slowly replacing all of my tools with better/cuter versions, and it is shocking how much of a difference it makes. If the funnel is a really good funnel, it will feel satisfying to use it. If the tongs have little cat paws on the end, you might actually rush to use them. If my coat rack were made of little animal heads, I would gladly hang my jacket so I can say hello to Ms. Giraffe. (Not actual product endorsements, just examples based on your question.)
posted by CtrlAltDelete at 8:26 AM on December 22, 2023 [2 favorites]

I think increasing my structured physical exercise practice over the years has impacted my [using this word as a shorthand] laziness about little shit like actually getting a strainer out to drain the pasta and washing it after instead of half ass pouring boiling water and half my spaghetti in the sink. Physical activity begets more physical activity, in my experience.
posted by latkes at 3:59 PM on December 22, 2023 [2 favorites]

I don't think I have ADHD though sometimes I wonder if everyone is on the auistic spectrum and that some simply display it overrly while many seem 'normal'. This thought is simply a wayy of examining the question 'why do I act against my own self-interest by doing self-cancelling things like not paying attention, moving too fast, taking shortcuts or setting myself up for harm via any of these behaviors.'
In speaking to my future self, I am sure to emphasize the costs and wastes of actually being injured through being inattentive or rushing. Then I try to build a sense of rightness in action, meaning there's a calm and dopamine rush you can get from simply doing things they way they are supposed to be done. Putting things away, bendng properly while taking stuff out of the oven, taking a moment to observe before doing something potentially disastrous and rehearsing steps beforehand in my mind.
If you have worked in busy commercial environment, like a factory, you quickly realize your inattention may dangerously hurt you or someone else so acting with your full attention is always relevant. Really in the home it's no different it's just that people normalize the risks and think doing typical stuff isn't inherently dangerous when au contraire. Should have double checked that ladder was fully extended before you stepped on it.
posted by diode at 10:13 AM on December 24, 2023

I have inattentive adhd and I have always felt this way for most of my life (especially so when I was younger). I am impatient with tasks I perceive as tedious and like to skip steps (and also tend to forget them). Part of it is also anxiety, trying to get something unpleasant and boring over and done with quickly.

How do I counter this impulse?
-Taking a moment to breathe when faced with such situations that trigger this anxiety to just get it over with. It allows me to recall any past experiences I had with the consequences of not doing that thing, and helps me to reduce any unwarranted anticipated misery (“UGH why do I need to do this?!?!”) Usually I end up realizing that doing that extra step is not as difficult as I thought.

-Keeping necessary things close to the area of usage and arranging things to minimize friction in my routines, so that doing the “right thing”becomes mindless.
E.g. have a stand / hook/basket near where you usually dump your coat/ clothes.
For cooking- Keep those important utensils/ mitts within easy reach near your stove or oven so that it minimizes the need to think about where they’re located and the energy needed to search for them

-Similarly if I’m doing something complicated, with multiple steps, I take out everything I need beforehand and lay it out, so that I don’t end panic last minute and do what I think is the “easiest” thing by impulse.
posted by pandanpanda at 7:24 AM on December 28, 2023

Also another poster mentioned structured physical exercise and I definitely noted an increase in energy and motivation to do physical tasks after I started to work out regularly, so it definitely does help!
posted by pandanpanda at 7:27 AM on December 28, 2023