Romance vs the Circumstance movie recommendations
October 30, 2023 11:17 AM Subscribe
I know the answer is, every rom com ever, but not really. I’m looking for sweeping movies that feature heavy on the “we just like each other” and light on the contrived scenarios. Deets within.
Examples would be: LaLaLand, and Young Victoria. To some degree 2005 Pride & Prejudice. (Yes that one). (I also liked How Do You Know, because they’re figuring themselves out as a result of curveballs in their individual lives, and as such come together and help each other out, and the pacing is relaxed.)
Romance front and center against a backdrop of circumstances. Movies where you can see these two just like each other gosh darn it, they support each other, and the struggle is more the world they live in than contrived conflict between them. Especially hate the third quarter “break up for dumb reason” trope. Sleepless in Seattle, How to Lose a Guy etc. will get flagged as offensive.
Examples would be: LaLaLand, and Young Victoria. To some degree 2005 Pride & Prejudice. (Yes that one). (I also liked How Do You Know, because they’re figuring themselves out as a result of curveballs in their individual lives, and as such come together and help each other out, and the pacing is relaxed.)
Romance front and center against a backdrop of circumstances. Movies where you can see these two just like each other gosh darn it, they support each other, and the struggle is more the world they live in than contrived conflict between them. Especially hate the third quarter “break up for dumb reason” trope. Sleepless in Seattle, How to Lose a Guy etc. will get flagged as offensive.
Coming in with a different early John Cusack - Say Anything, which technically has a third-act breakup-followed-by-reconciliation but the reason for it actually feels pretty organic.
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:37 AM on October 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 11:37 AM on October 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
My Big Fat Greek Wedding!
posted by panther of the pyrenees at 11:48 AM on October 30, 2023 [7 favorites]
posted by panther of the pyrenees at 11:48 AM on October 30, 2023 [7 favorites]
Crazy Rich Asians.
posted by cocoagirl at 12:11 PM on October 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by cocoagirl at 12:11 PM on October 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
Hope I'm not forgetting any important details in these classics --
I can't think why you say "Sleepless in Seattle" could get "flagged as offensive." Really?
In "Seattle," it seems to me that there are no contrived conflicts or breakups for no reason. The couple just didn't know each other and were separated geographically. But they had no conflicts, and as soon as they met in person, there was no longer any doubt.
The other classic is "When Harry Met Sally." True friends who grow closer through a series of life stages, no contrived conflicts, and finally it all becomes clear.
Now that we've talked these films to death, I hope you can still enjoy them.
posted by JimN2TAW at 12:18 PM on October 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
I can't think why you say "Sleepless in Seattle" could get "flagged as offensive." Really?
In "Seattle," it seems to me that there are no contrived conflicts or breakups for no reason. The couple just didn't know each other and were separated geographically. But they had no conflicts, and as soon as they met in person, there was no longer any doubt.
The other classic is "When Harry Met Sally." True friends who grow closer through a series of life stages, no contrived conflicts, and finally it all becomes clear.
Now that we've talked these films to death, I hope you can still enjoy them.
posted by JimN2TAW at 12:18 PM on October 30, 2023 [2 favorites]
Not sure if I quite understand what you want, and apologies if I'm not getting it, but am suggesting the very old Holiday.
posted by JanetLand at 12:25 PM on October 30, 2023
posted by JanetLand at 12:25 PM on October 30, 2023
Music & Lyrics is this, and it's adorable.
While You Were Sleeping
What is it about John Cusack? Adding Serendipity to the list
It's kids instead of grownups (though it's not a kid's movie), but I 100% recommend "Little Manhattan"
posted by Mchelly at 1:28 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
While You Were Sleeping
What is it about John Cusack? Adding Serendipity to the list
It's kids instead of grownups (though it's not a kid's movie), but I 100% recommend "Little Manhattan"
posted by Mchelly at 1:28 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
Some of these may be a bit out there.
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.
Strictly Ballroom.
Moonrise Kingdom.
Extra Ordinary (although there is a twist to this one in the end).
(If you reverse the genders, what Annie did in Sleepless in Seattle would be considered stalking).
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:08 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day.
Strictly Ballroom.
Moonrise Kingdom.
Extra Ordinary (although there is a twist to this one in the end).
(If you reverse the genders, what Annie did in Sleepless in Seattle would be considered stalking).
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 3:08 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
Two more that might fit:
Hunting and Gathering.
Mostly Martha.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:05 PM on October 30, 2023
Hunting and Gathering.
Mostly Martha.
posted by theBigRedKittyPurrs at 5:05 PM on October 30, 2023
Room With a View, perhaps?
posted by Enid Lareg at 5:11 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Enid Lareg at 5:11 PM on October 30, 2023 [1 favorite]
Past Lives. More romantic drama than romcom, however.
posted by Ballad of Peckham Rye at 11:57 PM on October 30, 2023
posted by Ballad of Peckham Rye at 11:57 PM on October 30, 2023
Interesting question! I was trying to think of movies to suggest, but there are so many that feature the third act break up and reconciliation that it is really quite tricky. I thought perhaps Sense & Sensibility, the one with Hugh Grant and Emma Thompson? I mean yes, technically there is I suppose a break up and reconciliation between Elinor and Edward, I think it is just done in a pretty organic manner. And the arc of the relationship between Marianne and Brandon is I think done in quite a relaxed way and sort of comes about as a way of showing Marianne's character growth.
posted by unicorn chaser at 2:56 AM on October 31, 2023
posted by unicorn chaser at 2:56 AM on October 31, 2023
OK this is a TV show, not a movie, but each season is six 22-ish minute episodes so it doesn't take any longer to get through than a movie: Starstruck. They do, in fact, "just like each other," and there are real, easy-to-understand external obstacles to their getting together.
posted by mskyle at 5:03 AM on October 31, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by mskyle at 5:03 AM on October 31, 2023 [3 favorites]
That third act break-up is really a huge thing in Rom-Coms isn't it! I will recommend Rye Lane despite this issue - it is a just a really refreshing modern rom-com and takes you through parts of London you don't normally see in films.
posted by Julnyes at 7:30 AM on October 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by Julnyes at 7:30 AM on October 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
I'd say the 'Before' trilogy (Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, Before Midnight) hits these notes perfectly. A love story told in single day slices, about the creation and evolution of a relationship across decades. Beautiful and sweet and wistful and bristly and just an amazing journey of two people learning each other.
posted by FatherDagon at 9:00 AM on October 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by FatherDagon at 9:00 AM on October 31, 2023 [2 favorites]
Crazy, Stupid Love
The Big Sick
The Birdcage
posted by hepta at 9:19 AM on October 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
The Big Sick
The Birdcage
posted by hepta at 9:19 AM on October 31, 2023 [1 favorite]
Only Lovers Left Alive
The two main characters are *already* an established couple, very established for centuries, and they're not even living in the same country when the movie starts, but they're together because they like each other, and they're just drifting through life together when they want to be. They're vampires, but that's kind of almost a background note, it's more - what type of person would be content with centuries to noodle around by themselves and with each other, without getting I guess, bored?
They are the lovers.
posted by Elysum at 1:09 PM on October 31, 2023
The two main characters are *already* an established couple, very established for centuries, and they're not even living in the same country when the movie starts, but they're together because they like each other, and they're just drifting through life together when they want to be. They're vampires, but that's kind of almost a background note, it's more - what type of person would be content with centuries to noodle around by themselves and with each other, without getting I guess, bored?
They are the lovers.
posted by Elysum at 1:09 PM on October 31, 2023
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posted by wenestvedt at 11:26 AM on October 30, 2023 [3 favorites]