Please help me solve my mental dilemma about how to handle tailgaters
October 26, 2023 6:30 AM Subscribe
I drive on a two-lane highway with speed limit 75mph. One of the lane goes 65mph, and another lane has two sets of traffic - those going 79-84mph, and those going 70mph. When I drive in the left lane going 79mph, cars going 79mph+ ride 6 inches from my back bumper even though there are 70mph in front of me. What do I do?
Situation:
I am driving going 79mph in the left lane. Someone driving 70 in the left lane, slows me down the 70mph. My TCC slows me down to 70mph. The car behind me is going 79mph, and rides my tailgate 6 inches away even though I would be going faster if I could.
This causes me a lot of stress - I've recently been rear ended when one of these cars failed to stop in time. Their insurance covered it, but being hit going 70 is scary!
1. Someone in my life told me that your car is more efficient when they tailgate you - that's all well and good, and a happy spin ("thanks for the efficiency!") but I don't want to be hit!
2. I could just drive in the right lane going 65mph. But - it feels so hard driving 13 mph under my desired speed. I'm not usually in a rush to get to work/get home. BUT, sometimes there are cars going 50 in the right lane, so even then I can't just turn off my mind because then I'm interacting with cars going even slower in the left.
3. I could tailgate in front of me. But honestly, I can't. I use TCC and I don't want to stop. My following distance is usually about 2 seconds behind the car in front of me - which is tighter than I'd prefer but much, much further than the people tailgating.
4. I could communicate with the cars behind me. Maybe an LED light saying "Vehicle stops suddenly, please don't tailgate" that I could turn on with a remote control? Or a bumper sticker? I turn on my hazard lights sometimes in this situation, and they back up for 2 seconds, but then they re-approach when they realize there is no hazard.
What do I do to minimize my road stress? Anyone else have any strategies? My daily commute is about 60 minutes at these speeds in this situation, and I usually get tailgated in an unsafe way 3-4 times.
Situation:
I am driving going 79mph in the left lane. Someone driving 70 in the left lane, slows me down the 70mph. My TCC slows me down to 70mph. The car behind me is going 79mph, and rides my tailgate 6 inches away even though I would be going faster if I could.
This causes me a lot of stress - I've recently been rear ended when one of these cars failed to stop in time. Their insurance covered it, but being hit going 70 is scary!
1. Someone in my life told me that your car is more efficient when they tailgate you - that's all well and good, and a happy spin ("thanks for the efficiency!") but I don't want to be hit!
2. I could just drive in the right lane going 65mph. But - it feels so hard driving 13 mph under my desired speed. I'm not usually in a rush to get to work/get home. BUT, sometimes there are cars going 50 in the right lane, so even then I can't just turn off my mind because then I'm interacting with cars going even slower in the left.
3. I could tailgate in front of me. But honestly, I can't. I use TCC and I don't want to stop. My following distance is usually about 2 seconds behind the car in front of me - which is tighter than I'd prefer but much, much further than the people tailgating.
4. I could communicate with the cars behind me. Maybe an LED light saying "Vehicle stops suddenly, please don't tailgate" that I could turn on with a remote control? Or a bumper sticker? I turn on my hazard lights sometimes in this situation, and they back up for 2 seconds, but then they re-approach when they realize there is no hazard.
What do I do to minimize my road stress? Anyone else have any strategies? My daily commute is about 60 minutes at these speeds in this situation, and I usually get tailgated in an unsafe way 3-4 times.
You are absolutely right not to tail gate the person in front of you. Being the filling in the sandwich in a multiple vehicle accident is not good.
The problem here is that they are bad and unsafe drivers, so your concerns are very valid, but your only solution may be to leave much earlier so you can take a safer route. Failing that I would actually leave a much larger gap between me and the car in front. That way if they do rear end you there will be no chance of hitting the car in front.
Is it possible that you are being tailgated by the same people? Would leaving an hour earlier or later to avoid rush hour help if you can't take a different route?
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:42 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]
The problem here is that they are bad and unsafe drivers, so your concerns are very valid, but your only solution may be to leave much earlier so you can take a safer route. Failing that I would actually leave a much larger gap between me and the car in front. That way if they do rear end you there will be no chance of hitting the car in front.
Is it possible that you are being tailgated by the same people? Would leaving an hour earlier or later to avoid rush hour help if you can't take a different route?
posted by Jane the Brown at 6:42 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]
When I'm tailgated I slow down and then move right (or towards the slow lane) if possible to let them pass. This doesn't typically mean going 65 for an hour, it means going 65 for like a minute.
posted by muddgirl at 6:44 AM on October 26, 2023 [60 favorites]
posted by muddgirl at 6:44 AM on October 26, 2023 [60 favorites]
Pass the person in front of you who is camping out in the fast lane. They should know to move over when someone is going significantly faster than them but some people are not aware. Either way, when someone is riding my butt I usually put more space in front of me so I don’t have to stop suddenly which will hopefully avoid a crash.
Minimizing road stress: audio book? Soothing music? Is there something else in your car commute that is causing friction like needing a coffee thermos that doesn’t leak, more comfy seats, etc? Fix those pain points.
posted by pumpkinlatte at 6:45 AM on October 26, 2023
Minimizing road stress: audio book? Soothing music? Is there something else in your car commute that is causing friction like needing a coffee thermos that doesn’t leak, more comfy seats, etc? Fix those pain points.
posted by pumpkinlatte at 6:45 AM on October 26, 2023
2 seconds behind the person in front of you is tailgating. It makes the person ahead of you, yourself, and the person behind you less safe. If you leave more space in front of you, you have more time to slow down more gradually and give the person behind you more time to react as well.
The correct way to handle this is to primarily drive in the right lane, periodically pass when you get behind someone who's going slower than the speed of traffic, and leave a safe amount of space at all times. I know it feels frustrating to not drive at maximum speed at all times, but man, just leave fifteen minutes earlier and don't risk everyone's safety.
posted by restless_nomad at 6:45 AM on October 26, 2023 [46 favorites]
The correct way to handle this is to primarily drive in the right lane, periodically pass when you get behind someone who's going slower than the speed of traffic, and leave a safe amount of space at all times. I know it feels frustrating to not drive at maximum speed at all times, but man, just leave fifteen minutes earlier and don't risk everyone's safety.
posted by restless_nomad at 6:45 AM on October 26, 2023 [46 favorites]
Is traffic congestion such that you can move over to the right temporarily and let the tailgaters by? It's not okay that they are tailgating you, but also not really within your control other than being able to let them by.
You definitely don't want to engage in unsafe driving behaviour, so don't tailgate the person ahead of you.
If you can't move over, just concentrate on what's ahead of you and not behind you. You really only need to worry about the tailgater if you need to break quickly. But if you're paying attention to what's ahead of you, you are more likely to have the time to break, release, break to hopefully get the attention of the tailgater and not get rear ended.
Also, some tailgaters aren't in a hurry, they just don't realize how close they seem to be. I've been in situations where a tailgater has had ample time and space to pass, and didn't.
posted by eekernohan at 6:46 AM on October 26, 2023 [6 favorites]
You definitely don't want to engage in unsafe driving behaviour, so don't tailgate the person ahead of you.
If you can't move over, just concentrate on what's ahead of you and not behind you. You really only need to worry about the tailgater if you need to break quickly. But if you're paying attention to what's ahead of you, you are more likely to have the time to break, release, break to hopefully get the attention of the tailgater and not get rear ended.
Also, some tailgaters aren't in a hurry, they just don't realize how close they seem to be. I've been in situations where a tailgater has had ample time and space to pass, and didn't.
posted by eekernohan at 6:46 AM on October 26, 2023 [6 favorites]
My TCC slows me down to 70mph.
If I'm understanding you right, the speed limit is 75mph and the flow of traffic in your lane is 79mph, but sometimes your car automatically adjusts your cruising speed based on traffic in the slower lane beside you, bringing you down to 70mph.
I want to say first off that tailgating is dangerous and people should not be doing it, and that some people will tailgate you no matter what you do because they're assholes. There's really nothing that you can do about it and I believe that is part of why it's stressful: Someone is being rude and dangerous around you and you have no power in the situation.
However, if traffic conditions are such that your cruise control causes you to unpredictably drop to around 10mph below the flow of traffic, you're going to get tailgated more: People are going to end up on your ass because they're suddenly going much faster than you, and to get away from your ass, they would have to slow down even more. They should have enough distance and be alert enough that this doesn't happen, but they won't.
I think you should re-evaluate your determination to use cruise control or to use the slow lane. In my opinion, this is actually unsafe behavior too.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 6:48 AM on October 26, 2023 [18 favorites]
If I'm understanding you right, the speed limit is 75mph and the flow of traffic in your lane is 79mph, but sometimes your car automatically adjusts your cruising speed based on traffic in the slower lane beside you, bringing you down to 70mph.
I want to say first off that tailgating is dangerous and people should not be doing it, and that some people will tailgate you no matter what you do because they're assholes. There's really nothing that you can do about it and I believe that is part of why it's stressful: Someone is being rude and dangerous around you and you have no power in the situation.
However, if traffic conditions are such that your cruise control causes you to unpredictably drop to around 10mph below the flow of traffic, you're going to get tailgated more: People are going to end up on your ass because they're suddenly going much faster than you, and to get away from your ass, they would have to slow down even more. They should have enough distance and be alert enough that this doesn't happen, but they won't.
I think you should re-evaluate your determination to use cruise control or to use the slow lane. In my opinion, this is actually unsafe behavior too.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 6:48 AM on October 26, 2023 [18 favorites]
The only way to happily sit in a lane going a steady speed for an hour without ever having a car come up behind you is to have no one else on the road.
Since there are other cars on the road, you will have to switch to the travel lane when faster cars come up behind you. If lane switching is a thing you're trying to avoid, going 65 in the travel lane sounds like it might minimize tailgaters & lane switching. Maybe listen to an engaging audiobook to take your mind off not going as fast as you want
posted by Baethan at 6:49 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Since there are other cars on the road, you will have to switch to the travel lane when faster cars come up behind you. If lane switching is a thing you're trying to avoid, going 65 in the travel lane sounds like it might minimize tailgaters & lane switching. Maybe listen to an engaging audiobook to take your mind off not going as fast as you want
posted by Baethan at 6:49 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Response by poster: A few quick responses:
1. This traffic is consistent for the 3 hours of morning commute and afternoon commute. Leaving earlier/later isn't the issue.
2. Obviously I move over when they tailgate me - but I have two issues with this. First, I am often going faster than the dangerous driver. Someone in front of me is causing me to slow down. So, I let them past. Then, they tailgate the 70mph driver and I get back left. Then, they go up to 75mph, and I am behind them going 79mph. Something feels off about moving to the right when I am going under my speed already. Or like, they will tailgate when a Semi passes another Semi, so going 65mph. Letting them pass me would just allow them to also go 65mph but in front of me.
Second, it feels like it's rewarding bad behavior. If I move over because they are tailgating me, won't it encourage more tailgating in the future?
3. My TCC is slowing me because of a car IN MY LANE in front of me travelling slowly. It isn't an error, and I am leaving a normal amount of space (2-3 seconds?) in front of me matching the speed in front of me.
posted by bbqturtle at 6:53 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
1. This traffic is consistent for the 3 hours of morning commute and afternoon commute. Leaving earlier/later isn't the issue.
2. Obviously I move over when they tailgate me - but I have two issues with this. First, I am often going faster than the dangerous driver. Someone in front of me is causing me to slow down. So, I let them past. Then, they tailgate the 70mph driver and I get back left. Then, they go up to 75mph, and I am behind them going 79mph. Something feels off about moving to the right when I am going under my speed already. Or like, they will tailgate when a Semi passes another Semi, so going 65mph. Letting them pass me would just allow them to also go 65mph but in front of me.
Second, it feels like it's rewarding bad behavior. If I move over because they are tailgating me, won't it encourage more tailgating in the future?
3. My TCC is slowing me because of a car IN MY LANE in front of me travelling slowly. It isn't an error, and I am leaving a normal amount of space (2-3 seconds?) in front of me matching the speed in front of me.
posted by bbqturtle at 6:53 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
The tailgater is going to ride people’s asses in succession until they achieve the precious velocity they seek. There’s no need for it to be you. Just move to the right momentarily and let them pass.
posted by staggernation at 6:54 AM on October 26, 2023 [27 favorites]
posted by staggernation at 6:54 AM on October 26, 2023 [27 favorites]
People tailgate, it's very annoying. The responses available are: a) stick it out, and wait for the car in front of you to speed up again; or b) move into the right lane, let them pass, return to the left lane. It sucks, and it feels like you're being penalized for being a responsible driver, but it is what it is.
2 seconds behind the person in front of you is tailgating. It is actually the recommended distance where I live.
posted by hepta at 6:55 AM on October 26, 2023 [9 favorites]
2 seconds behind the person in front of you is tailgating. It is actually the recommended distance where I live.
posted by hepta at 6:55 AM on October 26, 2023 [9 favorites]
You should drive defensively with a primary goal of having a safe stopping distance both in front of and behind you. You seem to be under the impression that the “behind you” part is not under your control—but it is. You switch lanes to let cars pass you on the left, then get back over if you so desire.
posted by rhymedirective at 6:56 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by rhymedirective at 6:56 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]
Response by poster: I suppose the last issue with moving over for people that I struggle with is that it feels endemic. I feel like 40% of cars on the road are silverados that tailgate and if I move over, when I move back, there's a high chance I'll just get tailgated again in a bit. And I'm just matching speed of the tailgater in front of me!
Does anyone think my LED light or hazards or "just ignore" them strategies are something worth investigating?
posted by bbqturtle at 6:59 AM on October 26, 2023
Does anyone think my LED light or hazards or "just ignore" them strategies are something worth investigating?
posted by bbqturtle at 6:59 AM on October 26, 2023
Best answer: This is a real pattern in Michigan rural highway traffic, and there’s no way around this. Either accept that people are going to be on your bumper or prepare to spend a lot of time in the right lane (where people will still be on your bumper) and pass when clear.
Signs are a nonstarter, and a 2 second gap doesn’t signal to people behind you that you aren’t the problem.
It is not your job to reward or punish road behavior. Your job is to operate your vehicle safely. Your individual actions will not have any impact to discourage or encourage better driving.
posted by theclaw at 7:00 AM on October 26, 2023 [74 favorites]
Signs are a nonstarter, and a 2 second gap doesn’t signal to people behind you that you aren’t the problem.
It is not your job to reward or punish road behavior. Your job is to operate your vehicle safely. Your individual actions will not have any impact to discourage or encourage better driving.
posted by theclaw at 7:00 AM on October 26, 2023 [74 favorites]
You aren't "going 79" because that is what your max speed is on your adaptive cruise control. When you were being tailgated, you were going 70. When you get back behind them, you are going 75 at a reasonable following distance. Maybe this is the mindset that you need to change? To be a safe driver you should be traveling at a speed safe for the conditions and that includes other cars.
Typically on a two lane highway, you should be staying in the slow lane at ANY speed unless you are passing the car or cars in front of you. Cars or trucks going 70 can pass in the "fast" lane unless there are local laws banning it.
posted by muddgirl at 7:01 AM on October 26, 2023 [9 favorites]
Typically on a two lane highway, you should be staying in the slow lane at ANY speed unless you are passing the car or cars in front of you. Cars or trucks going 70 can pass in the "fast" lane unless there are local laws banning it.
posted by muddgirl at 7:01 AM on October 26, 2023 [9 favorites]
Sorry that I misread you there - somehow I swapped out "left" for "right."
Does anyone think my LED light or hazards or "just ignore" them strategies are something worth investigating?
No, not really. Confronting someone rarely leads to them honestly re-evaluating their behavior. More often, it provokes defensiveness - they will tailgate you more aggressively because you made them angry, or at the very least, will not want to back off because that feels like capitulation, like admitting that you were right.
I don't think that focusing on getting people to stop tailgating you is going to help you here. It sucks, but you can't, and letting go of this mindset might help reduce your stress around it some.
Consider them a hazard something like a deer jumping into the road: Absolutely a hazard, but you can't control the deer. The deer will deer. Assholes will asshole.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 7:09 AM on October 26, 2023 [4 favorites]
Does anyone think my LED light or hazards or "just ignore" them strategies are something worth investigating?
No, not really. Confronting someone rarely leads to them honestly re-evaluating their behavior. More often, it provokes defensiveness - they will tailgate you more aggressively because you made them angry, or at the very least, will not want to back off because that feels like capitulation, like admitting that you were right.
I don't think that focusing on getting people to stop tailgating you is going to help you here. It sucks, but you can't, and letting go of this mindset might help reduce your stress around it some.
Consider them a hazard something like a deer jumping into the road: Absolutely a hazard, but you can't control the deer. The deer will deer. Assholes will asshole.
posted by Kutsuwamushi at 7:09 AM on October 26, 2023 [4 favorites]
Best answer: In this situation, assuming there's room for me to do so, I briefly move one lane over to the right, allow the tailgater to pass and attach themselves to the car in front of me instead, and then come back over to the left. The person the tailgater has issue with is actually the person in front of me, so I just let them hash it out directly. In this way, I use more aggressive drivers to encourage people to get out of my way, without having to actually be aggressive or tailgate anyone myself.
posted by jordemort at 7:10 AM on October 26, 2023 [26 favorites]
posted by jordemort at 7:10 AM on October 26, 2023 [26 favorites]
Best answer: I see this pattern constantly in the southeastern US, and find it frustrating.
I'll sometimes give the informal signal for "I am not the one holding up this lane," which is spending a few seconds driving a bit off the center of the lane, so that someone behind me can more easily see the guy actually slowing both of us down (or just the fact of a giant line of cars going 70 ahead of us).
posted by 4th number at 7:11 AM on October 26, 2023 [4 favorites]
I'll sometimes give the informal signal for "I am not the one holding up this lane," which is spending a few seconds driving a bit off the center of the lane, so that someone behind me can more easily see the guy actually slowing both of us down (or just the fact of a giant line of cars going 70 ahead of us).
posted by 4th number at 7:11 AM on October 26, 2023 [4 favorites]
In all honesty, this is just the stress that comes driving in heavy traffic. People will be assholes everywhere, if its not this guy itll be another one in 2 minutes. Drive with the flow of traffic, leave enough room between you and the car ahead of you, and assholes will always be assholes. I also tend to be obnoxious with my brake light when i have to slow down so that the person behind me hopefully notices to slow down themselves. But if they’re not tailgating you, theyll be tailgating the guy in front. Its just bad luck your at the end of the traffic bunch. You can try and maneuver to try and cherry pick who you are in front of, but all that lane changing is going to up your risk of an accident even more.
posted by cgg at 7:16 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
posted by cgg at 7:16 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
1. This traffic is consistent for the 3 hours of morning commute and afternoon commute. Leaving earlier/later isn't the issue.
I didn't interpret this as, "leave early to avoid traffic," I interpreted it as "leave early so that you can drive 65 and still get there on time."
But as others have said, I doubt that driving 65 would really let you avoid getting tailgated - it's often not about people wanting to go faster, just about people not paying attention/not leaving a safe distance.
posted by mskyle at 7:23 AM on October 26, 2023 [8 favorites]
I didn't interpret this as, "leave early to avoid traffic," I interpreted it as "leave early so that you can drive 65 and still get there on time."
But as others have said, I doubt that driving 65 would really let you avoid getting tailgated - it's often not about people wanting to go faster, just about people not paying attention/not leaving a safe distance.
posted by mskyle at 7:23 AM on October 26, 2023 [8 favorites]
Your only real solution is to accept - TRULY accept - that you cannot control other drivers, and make your peace with having to deal with tailgaters. Practice deep breathing, exhaling to let go. Play guided meditations designed for road stress during your commute (not the kind that make you close your eyes lol).
Train yourself to stop taking other people's dangerous driving as a personal insult; don't think of this as an arena where you can teach people lessons or train them into behaving better on the road. Stop thinking of other drivers as conscious agents altogether.
Instead, treat road conditions like you treat the weather, calmly to move over into the slow lane every time you are tailgated, over and over and over again, with as much acceptance and equanimity as you would folding up and opening up your umbrella repeatedly every time the rain stops and starts. Yes, you would prefer the rain would just stop, yes it would be nice if you didn't need your umbrella, but the weather is what it is and you have expensive electronics to protect. So you will open your umbrella and close it again as often as you need to. Or you can keep your umbrella open all the time and drive in the slow lane the entire way, if you prefer.
These are your only choices. There is no secret third option where you get to control the weather and trick the gods into turning the rain off permanently.
ONLY in cases when you physically cannot move into the slower lane for whatever reason:
- Putting your hazards on is a good way to signal tailgaters to back off. It's safe, it's legal, and it's a well-understood signal that you cannot go any faster. Tailgating makes you unsafe, so you are well within your rights to use hazard lights to indicate they should stop. If it makes them angry, that's their concern, not yours. Keep your hazard lights on for as long as they are tailgating you. Do not respond to anything they may say or do. Stay calm, don't get mad, remember that this is just like dealing with the weather.
- A normal (unlit) bumper sticker is also a good idea, and even though it will likely be less effective, it is perfectly safe and cannot make things worse.
- LED lights sound extremely unsafe and almost certainly illegal? Operating these lights via remote control even more so. Please don't do that.
posted by MiraK at 7:27 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Train yourself to stop taking other people's dangerous driving as a personal insult; don't think of this as an arena where you can teach people lessons or train them into behaving better on the road. Stop thinking of other drivers as conscious agents altogether.
Instead, treat road conditions like you treat the weather, calmly to move over into the slow lane every time you are tailgated, over and over and over again, with as much acceptance and equanimity as you would folding up and opening up your umbrella repeatedly every time the rain stops and starts. Yes, you would prefer the rain would just stop, yes it would be nice if you didn't need your umbrella, but the weather is what it is and you have expensive electronics to protect. So you will open your umbrella and close it again as often as you need to. Or you can keep your umbrella open all the time and drive in the slow lane the entire way, if you prefer.
These are your only choices. There is no secret third option where you get to control the weather and trick the gods into turning the rain off permanently.
ONLY in cases when you physically cannot move into the slower lane for whatever reason:
- Putting your hazards on is a good way to signal tailgaters to back off. It's safe, it's legal, and it's a well-understood signal that you cannot go any faster. Tailgating makes you unsafe, so you are well within your rights to use hazard lights to indicate they should stop. If it makes them angry, that's their concern, not yours. Keep your hazard lights on for as long as they are tailgating you. Do not respond to anything they may say or do. Stay calm, don't get mad, remember that this is just like dealing with the weather.
- A normal (unlit) bumper sticker is also a good idea, and even though it will likely be less effective, it is perfectly safe and cannot make things worse.
- LED lights sound extremely unsafe and almost certainly illegal? Operating these lights via remote control even more so. Please don't do that.
posted by MiraK at 7:27 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
I only drive in the left lane to get past traffic in the right which is going significantly below the speed limit.
If somebody zooms up behind me while I’m in the left lane, I slow down until I’m going just faster than the traffic in the right lane, however slow that may be. If the person behind me doesn’t like that, too bad.
posted by jamjam at 7:30 AM on October 26, 2023
If somebody zooms up behind me while I’m in the left lane, I slow down until I’m going just faster than the traffic in the right lane, however slow that may be. If the person behind me doesn’t like that, too bad.
posted by jamjam at 7:30 AM on October 26, 2023
Best answer: In this situation, assuming there's room for me to do so, I briefly move one lane over to the right, allow the tailgater to pass and attach themselves to the car in front of me instead, and then come back over to the left. The person the tailgater has issue with is actually the person in front of me, so I just let them hash it out directly. In this way, I use more aggressive drivers to encourage people to get out of my way, without having to actually be aggressive or tailgate anyone myself.
This is exactly what I do, and for the same reasoning.
I drive on a two-lane highway with speed limit 75mph. One of the lane goes 65mph, and another lane has two sets of traffic - those going 79-84mph, and those going 70mph.
Of course you are frustrated. That's a recipe for unhappy drivers, and creates a lot of unsafe dynamics. On the highway here there are basically two traffic patterns -- slower right lane, and faster left lane mostly going about 80, but with a small number of drivers who want to go much faster. Since it is a small number of extra fast drivers, it's pretty easy to slide to the right (slowing for a moment) and let the faster car(s) scoot by so they can get stuck behind the next car ahead going 80. (It's silly of them, they get pulled over more often and don't really get anywhere much faster since the overall traffic is moving slower, but whatever.)
But you are describing where there is a really mixed situation in the left lane. What I would do is a) slide right when you have a tailgater so that they can go be unsafe with someone else instead of you and b) use the active cruise control to let yourself be a bit more chill about going 75 instead of 79 if you happen to be behind a cluster of the 75mph people. Unless your drive is really long, you aren't going to see a meaningful difference in travel times at 75 vs 79 mph.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:32 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
This is exactly what I do, and for the same reasoning.
I drive on a two-lane highway with speed limit 75mph. One of the lane goes 65mph, and another lane has two sets of traffic - those going 79-84mph, and those going 70mph.
Of course you are frustrated. That's a recipe for unhappy drivers, and creates a lot of unsafe dynamics. On the highway here there are basically two traffic patterns -- slower right lane, and faster left lane mostly going about 80, but with a small number of drivers who want to go much faster. Since it is a small number of extra fast drivers, it's pretty easy to slide to the right (slowing for a moment) and let the faster car(s) scoot by so they can get stuck behind the next car ahead going 80. (It's silly of them, they get pulled over more often and don't really get anywhere much faster since the overall traffic is moving slower, but whatever.)
But you are describing where there is a really mixed situation in the left lane. What I would do is a) slide right when you have a tailgater so that they can go be unsafe with someone else instead of you and b) use the active cruise control to let yourself be a bit more chill about going 75 instead of 79 if you happen to be behind a cluster of the 75mph people. Unless your drive is really long, you aren't going to see a meaningful difference in travel times at 75 vs 79 mph.
posted by Dip Flash at 7:32 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
All you can do is move out of a tailgater's way. Period. I drive a 2 lane freeway where this happens and I usually just end up having to switch back and forth between the lanes a lot.
Seriously, just watch those people: you move out of their way, they immediately speed up even faster and tailgate the next person, and they keep doing it over and over again. They're not going to learn or stop, all you can do is get out of their way.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:34 AM on October 26, 2023 [8 favorites]
Seriously, just watch those people: you move out of their way, they immediately speed up even faster and tailgate the next person, and they keep doing it over and over again. They're not going to learn or stop, all you can do is get out of their way.
posted by jenfullmoon at 7:34 AM on October 26, 2023 [8 favorites]
2. I could just drive in the right lane going 65mph. But - it feels so hard driving 13 mph under my desired speed. I'm not usually in a rush to get to work/get home. BUT, sometimes there are cars going 50 in the right lane, so even then I can't just turn off my mind because then I'm interacting with cars going even slower in the left.
This is a problem that you need to get over. There are only two lanes: the left lane is for passing, the right lane is for travel. There's a speed limit and traffic. Sometimes traffic doesn't go as fast as you want it to. It's ok to be frustrated by this, but if you really can't deal with going slower than the speed limit, you're not fit to drive.
I also feel you on the tailgaters. It sucks to move over for people who are reckless and it doesn't feel right to be rewarding bad behavior. But I will repeat the words of a very wise philosopher:
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:38 AM on October 26, 2023 [12 favorites]
This is a problem that you need to get over. There are only two lanes: the left lane is for passing, the right lane is for travel. There's a speed limit and traffic. Sometimes traffic doesn't go as fast as you want it to. It's ok to be frustrated by this, but if you really can't deal with going slower than the speed limit, you're not fit to drive.
I also feel you on the tailgaters. It sucks to move over for people who are reckless and it doesn't feel right to be rewarding bad behavior. But I will repeat the words of a very wise philosopher:
“Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?”I think you need to stop and consider that observation.
posted by RonButNotStupid at 7:38 AM on October 26, 2023 [12 favorites]
Putting your hazards on is a good way to signal tailgaters to back off. It's safe, it's legal, and it's a well-understood signal that you cannot go any faster.
posted by zamboni at 8:00 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
Funfact: according to the letter of the law, this is (or was) technically not legal in a surprising number of US States. Things are changing (that article is from 2016), e.g. it is now actually legal to turn your hazards while driving in FL, but only "[d]uring periods of extremely low visibility on roadways with a posted speed limit of 55 miles per hour or higher.”
posted by zamboni at 8:00 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
I use TCC and I don't want to stop.
It's a minor point I think, but what's a TCC? Google yields "torque converter clutch," plus a lot of less relevant translations. Maybe there's something about your "TCC" that is relevant to your dilemma.
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:04 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
It's a minor point I think, but what's a TCC? Google yields "torque converter clutch," plus a lot of less relevant translations. Maybe there's something about your "TCC" that is relevant to your dilemma.
posted by JimN2TAW at 8:04 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
It's a minor point I think, but what's a TCC?
From context, adaptive cruise control. I'm not familiar with TCC as an acronym, but ACC gets called all sorts of weird things by car companies.
posted by zamboni at 8:10 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
From context, adaptive cruise control. I'm not familiar with TCC as an acronym, but ACC gets called all sorts of weird things by car companies.
posted by zamboni at 8:10 AM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
Not to derail, and I don't particularly have a solution, but adaptive cruise control will ruin you for driving any vehicle that doesn't have it. I can completely understand the desire not to give it up.
posted by emelenjr at 8:17 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by emelenjr at 8:17 AM on October 26, 2023 [3 favorites]
If you're in this situation you've already fucked up. Drive your car like you're riding on an egg. Get the hell out of the way of people who are aggressive. Stay as far away from other traffic as possible. If there's a lot of people driving fast and being idiots, then get behind a truck and drive normally. I swear to god going 75mph vs 65mph is just not that big a deal.
Signed, someone who sometimes rides a motorcycle and likes to be alive. Just get the fuck away from aggressive people, and ride in the lee of a big truck if everyone is aggressive, this is the law of the road for people who want to be alive at the end of the day.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:21 AM on October 26, 2023 [10 favorites]
Signed, someone who sometimes rides a motorcycle and likes to be alive. Just get the fuck away from aggressive people, and ride in the lee of a big truck if everyone is aggressive, this is the law of the road for people who want to be alive at the end of the day.
posted by seanmpuckett at 8:21 AM on October 26, 2023 [10 favorites]
Why aren't you just passing these drivers going 5mph under the speed limit?
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 8:34 AM on October 26, 2023
posted by Back At It Again At Krispy Kreme at 8:34 AM on October 26, 2023
Response by poster: Why aren't you just passing these drivers going 5mph under the speed limit?
This is a two lane highway. On the right is a constant stream of semi-trucks going 65-50. The car is in the left lane. There is not physical room to pass them without driving in the median/on the grass.
posted by bbqturtle at 8:36 AM on October 26, 2023
This is a two lane highway. On the right is a constant stream of semi-trucks going 65-50. The car is in the left lane. There is not physical room to pass them without driving in the median/on the grass.
posted by bbqturtle at 8:36 AM on October 26, 2023
When the driver in front of you slows you down, do you give them any signal that you want to pass? Obviously don’t tailgate them, but sometimes flashing your lights lets them know you want to pass, and then they will move right for you. Sometimes.
posted by sillysally at 9:00 AM on October 26, 2023
posted by sillysally at 9:00 AM on October 26, 2023
The guaranteed way to prevent someone from tailgating you is to let them pass. They can't tailgate from the front!
So I let them pass and rejoice in the knowledge that they can't bother me again. (Really!)
posted by demi-octopus at 9:19 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
So I let them pass and rejoice in the knowledge that they can't bother me again. (Really!)
posted by demi-octopus at 9:19 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Two general solutions are possible. Consider the pros and cons of each and decide.
Option 1: Multiple suggestions say, move over to the slow lane and let the tailgater by, then move back to the fast lane. PRO: This gets them off your back. CONS: It slows you down a bit. More importantly: it entails two lane changes for every tailgater, and every lane change is an opportunity for an accident to happen; weaving back and forth is unsafe.
Option 2: Get in the slow lane and stay there. Relax. Listen to a book on tape or a podcast. PROS: There are far fewer tailgaters over there, and you don't have to be switching lanes to deal with them. Also, 65 is a much safer speed than 79, which is pretty darn fast in my neck of the woods. (Pass the few that go even slower than 65.) CON: Your commute will take longer. But how much longer, really? You don't mention the distance involved, but let's say you are doing a 30-mile commute. At your desired speed of 79, this takes 23 minutes. In the slow lane at 65, it takes 28 minutes, and maybe less if they actually go a little over 65 there, which I bet they do. So if it's 30 miles, you are trying to save five minutes. Adjust according to the actual length of your commute.
So the choice is between a tense, aggravating, dangerous drive at 79, which saves you all of five minutes, versus a much more relaxing and safer drive at 65. Live slow! Enjoy the scenery and the podcasts! Laugh at the tailgaters going nowhere fast.
posted by beagle at 9:44 AM on October 26, 2023 [12 favorites]
Option 1: Multiple suggestions say, move over to the slow lane and let the tailgater by, then move back to the fast lane. PRO: This gets them off your back. CONS: It slows you down a bit. More importantly: it entails two lane changes for every tailgater, and every lane change is an opportunity for an accident to happen; weaving back and forth is unsafe.
Option 2: Get in the slow lane and stay there. Relax. Listen to a book on tape or a podcast. PROS: There are far fewer tailgaters over there, and you don't have to be switching lanes to deal with them. Also, 65 is a much safer speed than 79, which is pretty darn fast in my neck of the woods. (Pass the few that go even slower than 65.) CON: Your commute will take longer. But how much longer, really? You don't mention the distance involved, but let's say you are doing a 30-mile commute. At your desired speed of 79, this takes 23 minutes. In the slow lane at 65, it takes 28 minutes, and maybe less if they actually go a little over 65 there, which I bet they do. So if it's 30 miles, you are trying to save five minutes. Adjust according to the actual length of your commute.
So the choice is between a tense, aggravating, dangerous drive at 79, which saves you all of five minutes, versus a much more relaxing and safer drive at 65. Live slow! Enjoy the scenery and the podcasts! Laugh at the tailgaters going nowhere fast.
posted by beagle at 9:44 AM on October 26, 2023 [12 favorites]
I could just drive in the right lane going 65mph. But - it feels so hard driving 13 mph under my desired speed. I'm not usually in a rush to get to work/get home. BUT, sometimes there are cars going 50 in the right lane, so even then I can't just turn off my mind because then I'm interacting with cars going even slower in the left.
As explained above, the left lane is for passing, the right lane is for travel. Things like not smoking can be hard but people do it anyway. This is one of those things.
Under all circumstances, please leave your mind turned on when operating heavy machinery.
posted by aniola at 9:49 AM on October 26, 2023 [10 favorites]
As explained above, the left lane is for passing, the right lane is for travel. Things like not smoking can be hard but people do it anyway. This is one of those things.
Under all circumstances, please leave your mind turned on when operating heavy machinery.
posted by aniola at 9:49 AM on October 26, 2023 [10 favorites]
Let the police worry about enforcing traffic rulea. You worry about getting to your destination safely.
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 10:41 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 10:41 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Second, it feels like it's rewarding bad behavior.
By your own admission, you are regularly exceeding the posted speed limit. It seems really weird to me to condemn another driver's bad behavior while justifying your own. Why not just allow yourself a few extra minutes of travel time and stay in the slower lane? It's not a race.
posted by xedrik at 10:50 AM on October 26, 2023 [8 favorites]
By your own admission, you are regularly exceeding the posted speed limit. It seems really weird to me to condemn another driver's bad behavior while justifying your own. Why not just allow yourself a few extra minutes of travel time and stay in the slower lane? It's not a race.
posted by xedrik at 10:50 AM on October 26, 2023 [8 favorites]
Best answer: I used to be a very stressed-out (and somewhat aggressive) driver as you describe yourself being. Then I read this (extremely old-school) website on Traffic Waves. Understanding the information presented there has helped me to be much less stressed and more safe on the road. These days, instead of focusing on how everybody else's driving sucks or how I am going at a less-than-optimal speed, I focus on creating and maintaining a huge buffer of space in front of my car. It's a totally different mindset than I used to have, and it makes driving much more meditative and also much safer.
From the site:
From the site:
On a day when I immediately started hitting the usual "waves" of stopped cars, I decided to drive smoothly. Rather than repeatedly rushing ahead with everyone else, only to come to a halt, I decided to try to move at the average speed of the traffic. I let a huge gap open up ahead of me, and timed things so I was arriving at the next "stop-wave" just as the last red brakelights were turning off ahead of me. It certainly felt weird to have the huge empty space ahead of me, but I knew I was driving no slower than anyone else. The space would open up, but then it would shrink to nothing again. Sometimes I hit it just right and never had to touch the brakes at all...
...It was dusk, the headlights were on, and I was going down a long hill and across the bridges. I had a view of miles of highway behind me. In the neighboring lanes I could see maybe five of the traffic stop-waves. But in the lane behind ME, for miles, TOTALLY UNIFORM DISTRIBUTION. In the past I'd never realized it, but by driving at the average speed of traffic, my car had been "eating" the traffic waves. Everyone ahead of me was caught in the stop/go cycle, while everyone behind me was forced to go at a nice smooth 35MPH or so. My single tiny car had erased miles and miles of stop-and-go traffic. Just one single "lubricant atom" had a profound effect on the turbulent particle flow within miles of "tube."Make sure to also read the Experiences and FAQ pages, which have valuable insights on how this driving style works in the real world with tailgaters and aggressive drivers. I have found this author's observations to be extremely accurate, driving all over the United States. You'd think that leaving a lot of space in front of your car would make the tailgating worse, but it doesn't -- I promise. Again, from the site:
Actually, I've had no problems with road-ragers, and for a simple reason. If the person behind me is aggressive, eventually they'll change lanes and pass me. I can even help them do this. Then they quickly drive far forward, and they're happy. Remember, I still have that huge space ahead of me, and for aggressive drivers it's too tempting. That often leaves a good driver behind me. If there are several road-ragers, they'll manage to get out of line too, and I'll be left with a long row of nice people behind me. Once this has occurred, I can maintain a large empty space as long as I wish, with no problems.posted by ourobouros at 10:53 AM on October 26, 2023 [34 favorites]
They aren't 6 inches behind you. Distances on the road are much larger than you think they are.
Shows how old I am, but I was taught in drivers training to leave one car length for every 10 mph. So 80mph = 8 car lengths. Ain't happin' on I84! If I leave enough space to stop crashing into the car ahead--just let me have three or four car lengths please!--some idiot will cut in front of me from the slow lane, even if there is no one behind me!
Then there are the weavers. I despise the weavers. If the traffic in the fast lane is doing the speed limit, just go with the flow instead trying to do 5 miles over and weaving in and out of the slow lane jamming yourself into the fast lane, passing one vehicle at a time causing a whole line of vehicles in both lines to brake to accommodate you.
Pro tip: If you can't see the license plate of the car in front of you, especially if you're driving a truck or a big SUV, you're too damn close.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:49 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
Shows how old I am, but I was taught in drivers training to leave one car length for every 10 mph. So 80mph = 8 car lengths. Ain't happin' on I84! If I leave enough space to stop crashing into the car ahead--just let me have three or four car lengths please!--some idiot will cut in front of me from the slow lane, even if there is no one behind me!
Then there are the weavers. I despise the weavers. If the traffic in the fast lane is doing the speed limit, just go with the flow instead trying to do 5 miles over and weaving in and out of the slow lane jamming yourself into the fast lane, passing one vehicle at a time causing a whole line of vehicles in both lines to brake to accommodate you.
Pro tip: If you can't see the license plate of the car in front of you, especially if you're driving a truck or a big SUV, you're too damn close.
posted by BlueHorse at 11:49 AM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
website on Traffic Waves.
FTA on traffic waves:
First, during congestion the people in the passing lane are not slowpokes. Actually they're just like you: they're all trying to drive fast, and they're angry about all the "slow drivers" ahead of them
Traffic is not a liquid, it's filled with people with competing destinations, cars do not accelerate equally, all drivers are not the same skill - so with those givens, there actually are 'slow pokes' in front of you blocking your lane, no matter which one you are in. Driving slower (or the average speed of traffic) will not eliminate them, but it might help you find a zen if you are 'finding zen' kind of person. So everything about it is wrong, except that you can find zen using those methods if you are zen person. You will still be stuck in waves - the guy admits is as a win if he 'occasionally doesn't have to tap his brakes at all', and that's a laudable zen goal or a fine goal if you have worn out brakes.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:04 PM on October 26, 2023
FTA on traffic waves:
First, during congestion the people in the passing lane are not slowpokes. Actually they're just like you: they're all trying to drive fast, and they're angry about all the "slow drivers" ahead of them
Traffic is not a liquid, it's filled with people with competing destinations, cars do not accelerate equally, all drivers are not the same skill - so with those givens, there actually are 'slow pokes' in front of you blocking your lane, no matter which one you are in. Driving slower (or the average speed of traffic) will not eliminate them, but it might help you find a zen if you are 'finding zen' kind of person. So everything about it is wrong, except that you can find zen using those methods if you are zen person. You will still be stuck in waves - the guy admits is as a win if he 'occasionally doesn't have to tap his brakes at all', and that's a laudable zen goal or a fine goal if you have worn out brakes.
posted by The_Vegetables at 12:04 PM on October 26, 2023
It’s a four-lane highway, not two-lane.
I think you should focus on the person ahead of you, not behind you. Briefly signal-flash them assuming they’re not also behind someone going slow; they’re going five under in the passing lane, they’re the ones not following highway norms. (Much safer way to say “hey could you please…?” than tailgating.)
Or just keep your adaptive cruise on in the right lane and don’t even worry about it. Pass if someone is going ten under but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a road where *everyone* is going ten under.
posted by supercres at 12:27 PM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
I think you should focus on the person ahead of you, not behind you. Briefly signal-flash them assuming they’re not also behind someone going slow; they’re going five under in the passing lane, they’re the ones not following highway norms. (Much safer way to say “hey could you please…?” than tailgating.)
Or just keep your adaptive cruise on in the right lane and don’t even worry about it. Pass if someone is going ten under but I don’t think I’ve ever seen a road where *everyone* is going ten under.
posted by supercres at 12:27 PM on October 26, 2023 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I think you've had some useful thoughts here, but I would like to add some extra.
If you find yourself being tailgated, and are unable to let the individual overtake you (you are currently overtaking a bunch of lorries and don't really have an option to go back) it is not only appropriate but safer to grow your stopping distance between you and the car in front of you. Do not harshly brake, but allow the person in front of you to be much further ahead.
This move will protect you from the fail condition of tailgating: in the case of sudden traffic you will now have the opportunity to brake more gently, which will give the tailgater the opportunity to stop without hitting you.
A bonus I find is that a gradual slowing like this to allow more space tends to make the person behind you back off a little, although this doesn't always work.
Again, it is definitely best to let the tailgaters get on with it, but in the many situations where it is not possible you should grow your stopping distance
posted by Cannon Fodder at 12:27 PM on October 26, 2023 [12 favorites]
If you find yourself being tailgated, and are unable to let the individual overtake you (you are currently overtaking a bunch of lorries and don't really have an option to go back) it is not only appropriate but safer to grow your stopping distance between you and the car in front of you. Do not harshly brake, but allow the person in front of you to be much further ahead.
This move will protect you from the fail condition of tailgating: in the case of sudden traffic you will now have the opportunity to brake more gently, which will give the tailgater the opportunity to stop without hitting you.
A bonus I find is that a gradual slowing like this to allow more space tends to make the person behind you back off a little, although this doesn't always work.
Again, it is definitely best to let the tailgaters get on with it, but in the many situations where it is not possible you should grow your stopping distance
posted by Cannon Fodder at 12:27 PM on October 26, 2023 [12 favorites]
even then I can't just turn off my mind because then I'm interacting with cars
There's focused and attentive peaceful driving and there's not giving driving the concentration it needs, I hope you're aiming at the former.
How easy is it to spot a potential tailgater in your rear-view mirrors and anticipate their approach? Can you flow out of their way with a feeling of mastery instead of the feeling you're losing your rightful place in the 'fast lane'? (It's an overtaking lane.) If you're 2 seconds back from the car ahead and let 60 cars pass, your journey is only 2 minutes longer for helping the traffic to flow.
Take seriously the suggestions to drive slower, you'll save fuel and emit less carbon. Cars in the UK are tuned for emissions tests at 56 mph and get through 15% more fuel at the national speed limit of 70 mph, with the effort of moving air out of the way of your car at 80 mph causing that to go up to 30% extra over fuel use at 70 mph. 70mph completes a mile in 53 seconds versus 60 seconds when traveling at 60 mph, so each mile of your journey might be 7 extra seconds of calm, untroubled driving.
posted by k3ninho at 1:24 PM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
There's focused and attentive peaceful driving and there's not giving driving the concentration it needs, I hope you're aiming at the former.
How easy is it to spot a potential tailgater in your rear-view mirrors and anticipate their approach? Can you flow out of their way with a feeling of mastery instead of the feeling you're losing your rightful place in the 'fast lane'? (It's an overtaking lane.) If you're 2 seconds back from the car ahead and let 60 cars pass, your journey is only 2 minutes longer for helping the traffic to flow.
Take seriously the suggestions to drive slower, you'll save fuel and emit less carbon. Cars in the UK are tuned for emissions tests at 56 mph and get through 15% more fuel at the national speed limit of 70 mph, with the effort of moving air out of the way of your car at 80 mph causing that to go up to 30% extra over fuel use at 70 mph. 70mph completes a mile in 53 seconds versus 60 seconds when traveling at 60 mph, so each mile of your journey might be 7 extra seconds of calm, untroubled driving.
posted by k3ninho at 1:24 PM on October 26, 2023 [2 favorites]
I was taught that tapping your brakes (very briefly lighting up your brake lights a couple times in a row, without actually slowing down) was the universal signal for “please back off to a safer following distance”.
I have also noticed that a significant number of other drivers on the road either don’t know this (often younger drivers) or don’t care (road ragey, super aggressive dangerous drivers).
posted by eviemath at 2:42 PM on October 26, 2023
I have also noticed that a significant number of other drivers on the road either don’t know this (often younger drivers) or don’t care (road ragey, super aggressive dangerous drivers).
posted by eviemath at 2:42 PM on October 26, 2023
Response by poster: Update: I used the techniques of leaving later, mostly driving in the right lane, and giving morespace when there were tailgaters and had the most relaxing drive of the last 3 months. Thanks so much for everyone’s ideas!
posted by bbqturtle at 3:06 PM on October 26, 2023 [31 favorites]
posted by bbqturtle at 3:06 PM on October 26, 2023 [31 favorites]
> I was taught that tapping your brakes (very briefly lighting up your brake lights a couple times in a row, without actually slowing down) was the universal signal for “please back off to a safer following distance”.
This is called "brake checking", and is dangerous and illegal.
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 3:46 AM on October 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
This is called "brake checking", and is dangerous and illegal.
posted by Geckwoistmeinauto at 3:46 AM on October 27, 2023 [3 favorites]
Ah. Maybe some confusion about what exactly I was describing.
What is Brake Checking?
Brake checking is the practice of hitting your brake repeatedly while running your car without any reason. The definition might be confusing as we all need to press the brakes on the road. However, in this context, brake checking refers to hitting the brake to cause others harm or win a road race illegally.
I’m specifically talking about not slowing down. But I can see where the two situations could bleed into each other.
posted by eviemath at 7:44 AM on October 27, 2023
What is Brake Checking?
Brake checking is the practice of hitting your brake repeatedly while running your car without any reason. The definition might be confusing as we all need to press the brakes on the road. However, in this context, brake checking refers to hitting the brake to cause others harm or win a road race illegally.
I’m specifically talking about not slowing down. But I can see where the two situations could bleed into each other.
posted by eviemath at 7:44 AM on October 27, 2023
Looks like in the US, where I was taught to drive, tapping the brakes or brake checking are not specifically illegal, but brake checking can be covered under dangerous driving prohibitions. So there’s more nuance or difference in degree between tapping the brakes without slowing and brake checking may be recognized there as opposed to in Canada. Good to know, especially since this wasn’t covered in any driving manuals anywhere I’ve been a registered driver!
posted by eviemath at 7:52 AM on October 27, 2023
posted by eviemath at 7:52 AM on October 27, 2023
grow your stopping distance between you and the car in front of you
This is what is currently taught in drivers' ed where I live (Washington State).
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:40 AM on October 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
This is what is currently taught in drivers' ed where I live (Washington State).
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:40 AM on October 27, 2023 [1 favorite]
> Putting your hazards on is a good way to signal tailgaters to back off. It's safe, it's legal, and it's a well-understood signal that you cannot go any faster.
I wonder if this is regional. If I saw someone speeding, with their hazards on, I would give them space because they seem to be an erratic driver who didn't know their hazards were on, and not because they had communicated that the car ahead of them was the slow one.
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:51 AM on October 27, 2023
I wonder if this is regional. If I saw someone speeding, with their hazards on, I would give them space because they seem to be an erratic driver who didn't know their hazards were on, and not because they had communicated that the car ahead of them was the slow one.
posted by The corpse in the library at 10:51 AM on October 27, 2023
Looks like in the US, where I was taught to drive, tapping the brakes or brake checking are not specifically illegal, but brake checking can be covered under dangerous driving prohibitions. So there’s more nuance or difference in degree between tapping the brakes without slowing and brake checking may be recognized there as opposed to in Canada. Good to know, especially since this wasn’t covered in any driving manuals anywhere I’ve been a registered driver!
Flashing brake lights (usually as a warning of something ahead, rather than as a "back off" signal) has been a thing my whole life, but brake checking (as in actually hitting the brakes and making the person behind you hit their brakes) seems to be more a thing now, especially in road rage incidents. Just the other day the combo of someone tailgating and the other person brake-checking them led to a shooting incident on a freeway near here. So at least in the US I'd stay clear of actually brake-checking anyone, in the interest of not ending up in some kind of confrontation.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:38 PM on October 27, 2023
Flashing brake lights (usually as a warning of something ahead, rather than as a "back off" signal) has been a thing my whole life, but brake checking (as in actually hitting the brakes and making the person behind you hit their brakes) seems to be more a thing now, especially in road rage incidents. Just the other day the combo of someone tailgating and the other person brake-checking them led to a shooting incident on a freeway near here. So at least in the US I'd stay clear of actually brake-checking anyone, in the interest of not ending up in some kind of confrontation.
posted by Dip Flash at 2:38 PM on October 27, 2023
Yeah. Semi-relatedly: I was just going the speed limit on a more rural section of highway that was not divided earlier this summer, and had to brake a little (in the normal, not sudden or dangerous way) to maintain speed limit speed going down a hill, and the truck that had zoomed up behind me and was tailgating me impatiently got extra angry at this, sped around at the next available passing lane and then pulled in front of me too close and hit their brakes hard (so I guess brake checked me out of their road rage at me maintaining a consistent speed at the speed limit?). It was absolutely dangerous, and scary, and would have caused an accident had there been other cars on the road preventing me from swerving lanes. Defensive driving including mitigating other drivers’ potential road rage is, unfortunately, an important thing to do. Even though letting ragey drivers be bullies goes against every fibre of my being.
posted by eviemath at 5:08 PM on October 27, 2023
posted by eviemath at 5:08 PM on October 27, 2023
Anyway, another idea is to drive carefully oneself, pull to the right to let tailgaters by and all that, but get a dashcam and report their dangerous driving once you’re at your destination, if letting their behavior go is more than you can contend with. (I keep saying I’ll do this in the moment, but then laziness takes hold. But it would be the safer and non-confrontational way to feel like you weren’t just letting them get away with, or rewarding, poor behavior.)
posted by eviemath at 5:16 PM on October 27, 2023
posted by eviemath at 5:16 PM on October 27, 2023
One thing that has actually helped me let go of annoyance at tailgaters is that my partner has taken to venting frustration about the other drivers when they are in the car with me as a passenger, after hearing me make annoyed comments enough times. And oddly, this helps me remain calm - it’s as if my brain thinks that the complaining needs to happen, but since my partner is doing that task, I don’t have to worry about it and can remain calm and focus on driving extra safely given the hazard behind me.
posted by eviemath at 5:22 PM on October 27, 2023
posted by eviemath at 5:22 PM on October 27, 2023
You have somebody tailgating you and you want them out of your life. Move over, and let their nonsense be in front of you, instead of on your behind. Let them go and interact with other drivers or a cop that is issuing tickets.
posted by SillyShepherd at 9:47 AM on October 29, 2023 [3 favorites]
posted by SillyShepherd at 9:47 AM on October 29, 2023 [3 favorites]
There's just no winning on 131
I decided, for many things in my life, that letting go of urgency was better for me than accomplishing things urgently. Safer, too. But it's still very frustrating.
posted by rebent at 5:29 PM on December 9, 2023
I decided, for many things in my life, that letting go of urgency was better for me than accomplishing things urgently. Safer, too. But it's still very frustrating.
posted by rebent at 5:29 PM on December 9, 2023
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You can switch to the right lane, wait for the person to pass, then switch back to the left lane.
posted by saeculorum at 6:38 AM on October 26, 2023 [6 favorites]